Obsession
by jackpittgregor
Summary: This is an RP that I wrote with TheWidowNatasha on tumblr. Set during the Avengers movie - Shield makes a deal with the God Of Mischief in exchange for his help protecting the earth against Thanos and any other future alien threats, he is granted immunity, money and the Black Widow.
1. Chapter 1

Natasha tensed noticeably as the car drove through the gates of the large mansion located in a sparsely populated area of a beach community in the Hamptons. Clint reached over and squeezed her hand, "It's not too late to change your mind, Tasha…you don't have to do this."

She looked down at his hand as it enclosed her own, and then moved her gaze upwards to meet his, "Yes…I do. A deal is a deal. And you know how important it is for me to clear my ledger. I've done so much wrong in this world…and now, I have a chance to balance everything out."

"This is more than balancing it out. You're becoming a fucking sacrificial lamb."

Natasha sighed as the driver pulled into the circular driveway, "What else would I have done with my life? Huh?"

Clint looked into her eyes, "I was always hoping we could figure that out together, Nat."

She stared at him for a moment before leaning in and kissing his lips. Natasha rested her forehead against his for a few precious seconds before moving away from him and getting out of the car. The driver had pulled her suitcase from the trunk and placed it on the gravel.

Natasha stared up at the large house and took a deep breath, steeling herself for what was to come.

Weeks ago, she was in a very different position. She was on the helicarrier with her team, interrogating Loki. Sometime during the course of questioning, the young god provided her with an extra bit of information concerning his presence in this realm: he was not here on his own volition.

A powerful titan by the name of Thanos had captured and tortured him. Once separated from his scepter, he was able to speak freely. He claimed to know a way to defeat the titan and prevent the Chitauri invasion. In exchange for this information and his continued help in protecting earth from extraterrestrial invasion, Loki would receive a home befitting of his standards and a sum of money that would enable him to sustain a highly comfortable lifestyle.

Fury thought that his requests were simple…until he named his final requirement.

Loki wanted Natasha Romanoff.

The deal would not be made unless all of his requests were met.

When the director approached Agent Romanoff with Loki's list of demands, she initially laughed, but the look on Fury's face was serious. Loki wanted her. Natasha had killed plenty in her life…plenty of innocent people. Her ledger was dripping red with the blood of men, women and children. Now, she had the chance to balance it all out.

It took her three days to give her director a yes.

Now, weeks later, after they'd moved Loki into his house, set up his false identities and established a rather hefty bank account, they were making good on Loki's final and seemingly most important request.

Natasha glanced back at Clint and the driver as she pulled her suitcase up the stairs of the house, "I'm fine. I'll be ok…you can go."

The archer hesitated for a few long moments before he lowered his head and slipped back into the car.

With a shaking hand, Natasha rang the doorbell.

Loki heard the doorbell ring as a wicked smile spread across his face. He moved away from the fireplace and sat down languidly on the large recliner that would give him a perfect view of her as she entered the mansion. It was hard to believe that a few months ago he had been so distraught with the state of his life that he had let go to certain death. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on the way one looked at it, death didn't come. Instead he had found himself at the mercy of the Titan, tortured and placed under the control of some mind altering gem. Yes, the young god had truly reached rock bottom.

But that was then and this was now. Now, Loki could see the advantages to all that had happened. He was a new man or better than that a new god. Gone was the suffering fool who was so desperate for his adopted father's approval. To be deemed equal in the eyes of his brother. Gone were all the foolish sentiments that always plagued him and made him conflicted. Now, there was just Loki. Free to embrace his cold heart and selfish nature. And with all the luxuries that he could ever want thanks to the foolish mortals of Shield. They had agreed to every one of his demands for his help. And his most important one was only a few seconds away from being his. His dark green eyes gazed intently as his butler opened the door and showed her in. His grin widened as he watched her approach.

"It took you long enough, Agent Romanoff," He mused.

The butler took her bag away from her and disappeared up the stairs, leaving her alone with Loki. She met his gaze and narrowed her eyes, "Sorry. Traffic."

Natasha wasn't sure how soon he'd want to start exercising his "ownership" privileges. She knew she would have to be ready for anything. Loki was not a man that she could easily fight off. He was a volatile god whose sanity had been called into question more than once.

"I'm here now though. Should I go upstairs and unpack my stuff or…"

"That was the one and only time that you will ever keep me waiting," Loki commanded as he tapped his fingers along the arm of his chair. "Is that understood? Go unpack your things and change your clothes. Put on something that you think will please me." His dark emerald eyes narrowed as his expression turned deadly serious. "You have ten minutes to return here to me."

Natasha glared at him for a few seconds before she moved toward the stairs. Once she reached the top, the butler directed her to the master bedroom where he'd placed her large suitcase on a stand.

She opened it and rummaged through the items until she found a green silk nightgown. Natasha shut her eyes tight and swallowed hard. She could do this. She'd seduced and slept with men for reasons far less compelling than this…men who she hadn't even been attracted to. As much as she hated to admit it, she found the young god to be terribly attractive.

Natasha sauntered down the stairs in the green nightgown and stood before him, her arms crossed across the swell of her bosom, "…and I have a minute to spare."

"You know how to take orders… that's good," Loki mused as his eyes roamed up and down her figure. He had been waiting for this moment since he first spotted her on the helicarrier. It was no wonder that she had made a career out of seducing men. She was exquisite and now she was his to do with as he pleased. He stood up from the chair and began circling her languidly like one might appraise a new car, stopping when he was back in front of her once more. His sparkling emerald eyes gazing down into dark blue. "You picked green… good choice," he smirked as he glided his hand up her arm to her shoulder, enjoying the softness of her skin. His fingers trailed up her throat until his hand rested against the nape of her neck, pulling her towards him so their lips were only inches apart. "Kiss me."

Natasha's breath caught in her throat as she stared up into his eyes. This was what she was here for. There was no turning back now…well, if there was, she might not make it out of there alive and the world could end…

She leaned up and softly nipped at his bottom lip before firmly pressing her lips to his. Her tongue slowly maneuvered its way into his mouth, delectably sliding over his as her mouth moved sensually over his.

Loki kissed her back hungrily, his tongue finding hers as he devoured her greedily. She was as delicious as he had imagined she would be. He had never tasted anything sweeter. He broke the kiss abruptly. His dark green eyes gazing down at her as he hooked his fingers teasingly in the straps of her gown. "I think the infamous Black Widow can do better than that…" He smirked as he took a step away from her. "Seduce me, little spider, show me all your best moves."

Natalia stared up at him with questioning eyes for a few moments before letting out a deep breath. Seems he wanted her to put on a whole show for him. When he took a step back, she followed him, placing her hands on his chest and giving him a firm shove so that he fell backwards into the seat behind him.

Slowly, she began swaying for him…back and forth. Natasha lowered herself to the ground before him and seductively crawled toward him. When she knelt before him, she placed her hands on his legs and began firmly rubbing them upwards, her fingers massaging the inside of his thighs as she worked closer to their meeting point.

Natasha stopped short of her goal and slowly leaned forward, rubbing her body teasingly against his before straddling him and grinding down on him.

A smirk played across her lips as she stood back up and walked over to the fireplace. She lifted up the hem of her nightgown just slightly to reveal the black, lace underwear beneath. She teasingly pulled it off her ass just briefly to give him a view of her perfectly round bottom before pulling them back up.

Loki smiled slightly as she shoved him back into the seat before his face returned to its blank expression as he eyed her lustfully. The movement of her hips, the feel of her fingers gliding along his thighs over the fabric of his pants, the way she moved on top of him, such delicious sensations. He wanted her. He wanted her very badly but even more than that he wanted to exert his power over her. "Don't stop there, pet," Loki smirked in his silky accent as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs along the coffee table. "That is not nearly enough to entice me. You have a job to do, little spider, make me want you… make me desperate to take you right now."

Natasha turned away from him, shutting her eyes tight and taking a deep breath and forcing herself to renew her stoic veneer. He was determined to try to humiliate her…reduce her to being his pleasure slave.

That was alright…she could handle it.

Still facing away from him, she slowly removed the straps of her nightgown from her shoulders before letting the silken fabric glide down off of her body and pool at her feet. Natasha slid her underwear off of her waist and bent over completely to remove it, giving him an obscenely delicious view.

Natasha closed her eyes and breathed out as she glanced at him over her shoulder with lust lidded eyes. She spread her legs as she placed a hand on the mantel piece and bent over slightly, running a hand provocatively over her ass before she turned around and sat down in a chair across from him. Natasha bit her lip as she spread her legs for him, her hands roaming over her body as they came to rest at the apex of her thighs.

A soft moan escaped her lips as she slipped a finger inside of herself while her other hand squeezed and massaged her breasts.

Loki licked his lips expectantly as he stared at her naked body. His dark green eyes scrutinizing every luscious curve. The sight of her pleasuring herself and the seductive noises falling from her lips made his body twitch with need. He stood up slowly as he moved toward her. "You've had a lifetime to perfect your craft haven't you, little spider? Using your body… getting men to want you?"

The young god trailed his fingers along her cheek before tilting her chin so that she was gazing up at him as he loomed over her. "But that's only half the battle isn't, pet? When you set your sights on your prey… it's not enough that they want you… you need to make them believe you want them. Go ahead, little spider, I'm waiting."

Natasha stood up to defiantly stare into his eyes, "You don't think it's pointless? That seems like a waste of time…no matter what I do, you'll always remember that I'm here because it's part of a deal. A deal which said you could have me. It didn't specify that I'd have to turn into an award winning actress."

Loki grabbed her chin forcefully, leaning in close as his emerald eyes glared at her eerily. "The point is that I own you and you'll do what I say. I want to see the Black Widow in action… now get to work, pet. Show me just how good you are."

Natasha glared at him and snatched away, "If you want to see the Black Widow in action, then you're asking me to spar, not see how hard I can make you. Seduction and making me believe I want you are a small part of being the Black Widow. But of course, as with most men, you think I'm just another sexy body with a pretty face. There's no way I could do my job without making men want to fuck me…the truth is, I'm smart, I'm agile and I'm strong. I can take down a man three times my size in three seconds and it's not because I made him believe I wanted him…it's because I crushed his trachea."

Loki enclosed her face in his hands as he inclined his head so they were mere inches apart. "I don't think you want to spar me, little spider, I could crush your skull with the barest movement of my hands." He applied more pressure, just the slightest amount so that she knew that he was deadly serious before releasing his hold on her altogether. "You are going to do what I tell you. One way or the other, pet. I would suggest that you don't piss me off."

Natasha knew that he was right. She glared up at him before leaning up to capture his lips in a fiery, hungry kiss. This wasn't real. She hated him and realized that she hated him more by the moment. He wanted her to make him believe she wanted him? Fine. She could lie.

Natasha pushed him backwards until they stumbled and landed on the couch as she straddled him, ripping open his shirt and raking her fingers down his chest, hard enough to almost draw blood.

Loki chuckled slightly as they fell against the couch. Her hate was near palpable and he loved it. He loved the passion and fire that her anger fueled. He loved the control he had over her, that despite her defiant nature she was doing exactly what he said. He fisted his hand in her dark red curls, yanking her neck backward as he moved his lips along her throat. Her body was his and he was going to enjoy every inch of it, flipping her beneath him as his mouth descended on her honey soft breasts. His clothes disappearing with the barest thought from his mind as he enjoyed the feel of her lush body pressed against his.

Natasha gasped and moaned softly as she felt his lips trail along her neck down to her breasts. She whimpered as his lips connected with her breasts, making her entire body shudder in pleasure as she wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling the head of his eager member press against her moistening core.

Loki wasted no time as he claimed her, burying himself all the way as he drove up into her. A soft smile falling over his lips at the wetness and heat that surrounded him. The sensation of being inside of her was divine as he moved hard against her, in and out in a pagan rhythm.

Natasha cried out as he brutally thrust into her, her nails roughly raked up and down his back. Her hips rolled upwards to meet his movements, her hate for him fueling her desire.

"Oh god…fuck…" she panted as her body shuddered beneath him.

"Yes, pet," Loki groaned with an unsteady breath as he delighted in the feel of her nails scraping against his firm, smooth back. "You are being fucked by a god." He increased his tempo, her body jerking violently as he pounded into her with an unrelenting pulsing cadence.

Natasha screamed until her throat hurt as he relentlessly pounded into her lithe body.

She had never experienced pleasure so intense before. Natasha suddenly felt the overwhelming sensation of an approaching climax overtake her. "Pull out…pull out" she managed to whimper before her words were overtaken by cries of ecstasy.

Loki moaned against her throat as he felt the great shuddering, clenching spasms of her body around him. Ignoring her words as he quickly found his own climax, her body milking it from him as he bucked within her. He closed his eyes for a moment, reveling in the sensation of her closeness, his fingers twisting lightly around a curl of her hair affectionately. Before he stood up abruptly, his clothes returning to his body in an instant. He sat back down in the chair across from her like a king on his throne. His dark green eyes staring at her coldly. "You may get dressed."

Natasha cursed softly and glared at him as she slowly sat up and pulled her nightgown back on over her head. It took her a few moments to find her panties as she stood before him, still slightly out of breath. Her body was still flushed from her recent orgasm, and she felt like her body had betrayed her. She felt dirty…

She brushed her hair out of her eyes and cleared her throat, "I'd like to go take a bath."

"You may, my pet," Loki stated coolly as he watched her get dressed. Enjoying the sight of the blush of her cheeks, a remnant of how badly her body enjoyed being joined to his despite how much she hated him. "I'll give you a little while to yourself, little spider, before I join you in the master suite."


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha quickly moved out of the room and rushed up to the master suite. She closed and locked the bathroom door behind her before moving to the mirror and stripped down. Red marks along her neck and hips from where he'd nipped or held on a bit too tight. Seems he wanted to make sure she remembered who she now "belonged" to…even when she was alone.

As she eased into the water, she cursed aloud and leaned her head back against the tub. He'd completely ignored her when she asked him to pull out. That would probably be a regular occurrence. She didn't think she could hate him anymore.

Natasha had just entered the bedroom and wrapped the towel around her body when Loki entered, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Her entire body tensed as he stalked toward her with a predatory gleam in his eyes.

He was a god. His appetite and energy level far surpassed that of a regular mortal, and she knew she'd have to contend with his ravenous appetite.

Loki strutted toward her with a devilish smirk as he admired the slight wet sheen along her skin and the faint dampness to her hair. He moved his hand along her neck, his long slender fingers tracing the marks he had left upon her skin. He was anxious to have her again. "Go lie down in my bed."

Natasha shivered beneath his touch in spite of herself. Slowly, she moved to the bed and removed the towel before laying down. She licked her lips and closed her eyes, desperate to imagine that she was anywhere but here…

Loki stood there for a moment, admiring the beautiful woman lying naked on his bed. There was still much of her that he had yet to explore fully. He moved to the mattress, nudging her legs with his hands as he gazed between her creamy hips. She truly was a work of art. He moved his tongue along her satin flesh enjoying the sound of the slight gasp that the action pulled from her throat before he delved deeper within her core. He loved the power he had over her and the fact that he knew as much as she hated him she couldn't stop her body from responding, turned him on even more.

Natasha gripped onto the sheets and bit her lip in a desperate attempt to stifle the moan that erupted from her throat, but it was no use. The god seemed determine to hear her vocalize her pleasure, so he delved deeper inside of her, his tongue eagerly lapping at her velvety folds.

Her body convulsed as it was claimed by another climax. She saw this as a perfect opportunity to avoid actual sex with him and instead, return his oral favor.

Natasha pushed him down onto his back and opened his pants. She leaned down and slowly began easing him into her mouth with practiced precision. It wasn't long before she felt him tensing and writhing beneath her hot mouth.

Loki groaned deep and low as he felt her mouth around him, his neck falling back in rapture at the feel of her ministrations as she stroked and licked him into a frenzy of pleasure. She was incredible and he could feel himself rapidly heading towards a climax but he had other plans. "Enough!" he ordered before grabbing her shoulders and pulling her up his body as he filled her completely. His hands firmly on her hips as he thrust up into her, her walls tightening around him as his own body shuddered beneath her.

Natasha uselessly grappled with him in an effort to move off of him, but it only added to the delicious friction between them as she pressed her hands against his chest. Before she could stop herself, she was experiencing her third orgasm.

Moments later, the only sounds in the room were of their soft panting and gasps. Natasha lay with her back facing him, waiting for her breathing to calm.

Loki lied there gazing up at the ceiling as he attempted to catch his breath. "An interesting beginning," he mused as he turned on his side and ran his fingers along the small of her back. "You're quite delicious, little spider, a real treat."

Natasha remained silent for a long time before running a hand through her hair and pulling the blanket over her naked body. She didn't want him touching her more than he had to.

The next morning, she awoke to his lips trailing across her neck and his hand between her legs. Natasha murmured and squirmed away from him, "It's too early…"

Loki pulled her back so that she was flush against his body, his lips moving sensually along the soft spot behind her ear. "There is no such thing, little spider," Loki breathed against her skin.

Natasha was not in the mood right now, but her lack of interest didn't stop the insatiable god from mounting her and driving them both over the edge of a mind blowing orgasm. Over the course of the next several weeks, that was her morning. She would wake up to him fondling her in some way. If he was really ravenous, she'd wake up to find him already on top of her.

She hated him.

Natasha frequently took her frustrations with him out on a boxing bag in the in-home gym located in the mansion's basement. Her right hook had never been neater. As far as her "duties" to Loki, she quickly discovered that no time of day was safe. He would take her whenever the mood hit him. Sometimes without the preamble of having a bed or couch nearby.

She stood in the kitchen, kneading dough for homemade bread. Natasha had never been a domestic type, but she felt the need to fill her time with as many new hobbies as possible. She paused to wipe her hands on a dish rag before taking a long sip or wine and setting it down before she continued kneading.

Natasha wore a casual linen wrap dress, but thanks to Loki, her panties and most of her less revealing clothing had mysteriously disappeared. Her red curls were pulled off of her face in a messy ponytail, but some of her strands of hair had escaped, falling around her face.

"Interesting," Loki remarked as he entered the kitchen and stood directly behind her, his fingers playing with the tie of her dress as he pressed his body closer. He leaned his chin against her shoulder as he took a look at the dough that she was kneading between her hands. "This is a sight I never imagined I would see," he quipped as his other hand moved under her skirt, trailing along her thigh.

Natasha sighed as her hands faltered against the dough upon feeling his hand beneath her dress. She closed her eyes and cleared her throat as she continued moving her fingers against the dough, "Yeah…me either. But I needed to find something to fill my time with, so…fresh bread."

As his hands moved further up her dress, she let out a breath and paused, "I don't suppose I can convince you to wait until I've finished with this…"

"And why in the world would I want to do that, pet?" Loki remarked as he continued to suckle along her throat, determined to leave a new mark against her alabaster skin. He pulled the tie of her dress so the fabric fell open.

Natasha's eyes rolled closed as her body shivered beneath his touch. A soft moan escaped her lips and the familiar weight of guilt and self hate washed over her anew.

Her body responded to him no matter what…no matter how much she hated him, her body could never seem to get enough of his advances. Natasha felt his hand on the small of her back, pushing her forward slightly before she heard the rustling of his belt buckle behind her.

"The sounds you make are exquisite, little spider," Loki breathed against her neck, nudging her body forward as he eased himself into her, filling her to the hilt. She was truly delicious. He couldn't get enough of her. His lust for her was truly insatiable.

Natasha bent completely over the counter, abandoning the dough as she lowered her head. She moaned softly as he began thrusting into her, gripping the edge of the counter as her body jerked against the solid surface.

The sensation of her body convulsing around him in a chain of spasms was pure ecstasy as he stiffened in his own release. He placed a kiss against the back of her neck before he stood slowly and fixed his pants. Loki kept his emerald gaze upon her as he watched her fix her dress, a satisfied smirk along his lips. He reached across brushing his body against hers, picking up the glass of wine she had poured for herself and taking a sip.

Natasha adjusted her hair as she cleared her throat and moved toward the cabinet to retrieve another glass of wine since he'd confiscated hers. She poured herself a glass and looked at him, slightly unnerved by his staring.

"Is something wrong?" she asked as she took a sip.

"Hardly," Loki puzzled as his dark green eyes gazed at her curiously. He highly doubted that she actually cared one way or the other which was perfectly fine by him. "Quite the opposite, little spider." He gave her a sideways smile as he took another sip. "Aren't you going to finish your bread?"

Natasha nodded and covered the dough with plastic wrap, "It needs time to rise."

She moved about the kitchen, cleaning up when they heard the doorbell ring. Natasha wiped her hands and adjusted her dress again, "I'll get it."

When she opened the door, she smiled wider than she ever had, "Phil Coulson…you're a sight for are eyes!"

Phil was taken by surprise when Natasha wrapped him in a crushing hug. She missed people…all she had here was Loki and a butler, maid and, occasionally, a cook.

"Come in!" she said, eagerly ushering him in.

"What do you want?" Loki snapped as he moved toward the room before turning toward the Black Widow irritably. "I have a butler to answer the door. I don't want you doing it again. Understood?"

Natasha glared at Loki as Phil regarded him cooly and took out a tablet. He stepped into the foyer, "Well, if you remember that our agreement included you helping us protect earth from other extraterrestrial threats…we think we have one. We need you to come in."

Natasha smiled a little, "Can I get in on this?"

"Sure. I'm sure Fury wouldn't mind."

"Absolutely not," Loki commanded coldly as his dark green gaze turned toward Natasha. "There is no need for you to hear anything further. Go upstairs, little spider, until I have need of you."

Natasha opened her mouth to say something, but all she could manage was a glare. Phil stood there, shocked that the Black Widow had been spoken to with such a manner.

Her face burned, and she was certain her entire face had turned red as she turned and stomped up the stairs before violently slamming the door to the master bedroom.

After Phil had finished briefing him on this little problem of Shields, Loki instructed him to advise Fury to expect him at headquarters to deal with the issue in a half-hours time. He preceded up the stairs to his bedroom and opened the door. "Such a tantrum, my pet," Loki taunted as he entered the room. "Not very befitting a former agent. I'm leaving for a few hours. Just so we understand each other, little spider, you are not allowed to leave here nor are you allowed to make any phone calls during my absence. Are we clear?"

"Whatever" she murmured from her place in the bath tub. She refused to even look at him.

Of course, as soon as he left, she used her iPad to message Clint. She told him that she missed him and that she was ok, but declined to comment any further on her situation with Loki. She didn't want him to worry about her.

Natasha had password protected her iPad, so she was fairly confident Loki would never find out about her communications with the archer.

Later that evening, Loki returned. The threat was easily dealt with, the Midgardians were so easily frazzled it was actually rather amusing. He inquired as to Natasha's whereabouts from his butler who informed him that she was in the gym working out. The young god moved to his bedroom first as he retrieved her iPad from the place where he knew she kept it. His dark green eyes narrowing in ire as he scrolled through the device.

Loki strutted into the basement the iPad held tightly in his grip as he observed her punching and kicking the large black bag with all of her might. He had little doubt who she was picturing in its place. "Did you really think that I'm so naive? I'm not Thor, pet? Your little password isn't much against magic, little spider." He stated irritably as he crushed the device in his fist before dropping the broken pieces along the floor.

Natasha panted as she brushed her hair off of her forehead before fixing him with a glare. She should have known better than to think he'd let her have something all her own. He wanted complete control over her.

"So, I'm not allowed to talk to my friends or fine out what's going on in the real world, now…" she murmured, brushing by him to head up the stairs.

Loki grabbed her by the arm and forcefully pulled her back toward him as he glared down at her, his dark green eyes filled with malice. "Is that supposed to be news to you? That was the deal that your precious Shield made… You are mine, little spider, you belong to me and you'll do what I say." His grip tightened as he leaned in closer to her, his voice dropping to an eerie whisper. "Don't you ever walk away from me again."

Natasha punched against his chest, but his grip was unrelenting, "Fuck you! I hate you!"

She spat in his face as she attempted to shove away from him and yelled, "Let me go!"

"No.. I won't, pet. I own you," Loki spat out as she punched at him and struggled to get out of his hold. He grabbed the wrist of the offending arm and held it tightly against his chest as he smiled wickedly. "You are no match for me, little spider, hate me all you want but the deal was struck and I'm never letting you go."

Natasha was panting and tears of anger rimmed her eyes as she stared up at him in rage. "Fine. You've made your damn point. Now leave me alone…I'm sickened by the sight of you."

"Obviously, I haven't made my point clear enough for you," Loki rasped as he continued to hold her in place. "I'll leave you alone when it pleases me not because you want me to. I don't care what you want." He pushed her away from him forcefully as she stumbled a few feet away. "Now I'll let you know what I want, pet. I want you to go upstairs and take a shower and get ready for bed. And be prepared to apologize to me for not listening to my directions earlier. And you better make me believe you mean it. Do we understand each other, little spider?"

Natasha disappeared up the stairs without another word. On her way to the bedroom, however, she took a bottle of vodka. Thanks to all of the unprotected sex they'd been having, she knew that she could very well be pregnant, but she didn't care. She'd rather die than have his baby. She'd do everything she could to make sure she didn't have his child. Aside from that fact, she desperately needed a drink.

Natasha poured herself a drink, taking a sip before getting into the shower.

Loki moved through the room and set down on the mattress, leaning against the headboard with his legs crossed in front of him as he listened to the shower running. His dark green eyes gazing at the doorway. He crossed his arms in front of him waiting for her to exit the bathroom.

Natasha emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel. In one hand, she held a glass of melting ice. In either, she held a half empty bottle of vodka. She glared at him as she set the glass down and refilled it before picking it up and taking a deep swig.

Loki moved from the bed swiftly as he ripped the glass from her hand and picked up the near empty bottle of vodka. His dark emerald eyes glaring at the items angrily. "Do you think I wanted a drunken apology from you? You are not taking direction very well, pet, and that displeases me." He walked away from her for a moment before turning back and throwing the glass in her direction, missing her by a mere centimeter as it crashed against the wall behind her. He tossed the bottle from one hand to the other as he eyed her eerily. "Let's see just how intelligent you are, pet. Did you think I'd be happy to find you drinking?"

"I'm not drunk…not yet anyways", she grumbled as she moved to sit on the bed. Natasha glared at him, "You're so cruel to me…fine. We made a deal for you to 'have' me…but it seems like you just wanted a slut you could control and abuse. I'm more than that…at least I used to be. When I first got here, I was stupid enough to think you wanted a companion. Now I see you're a heartless bastard who cares about nothing and no one."

"Oooooh so insulting, eh heh heh heh, as if you care one iota about me, pet," He grinned evilly as his eyes narrowed at the Vodka in his hand. "You drank half the bottle and you didn't answer my question. Did you think that I would be happy to find you with this? It isn't wise to deliberately try and irritate me, little spider." His grip tightening on the bottle in his hand.

"Frankly, I don't know what would make you happy. Sometimes, I think you finding me dead in the bath tub would make you happy. Other times, you look right through me. You don't even pay attention to me unless you want a good fucking, which, by the way, you should seriously think of using protection…unless of course it's too late. In which case, bottoms up, kid" she said with a soft laugh.

Ok….Maybe she was a little drunk.

"You needn't worry about that, pet. I'm a god to your kind and a master sorcerer. You won't get pregnant unless I willed it and believe me that is something that I would never want." Loki spat out irritably. "A child is something that you will never get from me. And don't act cheeky, pet. You know what I want. And you know full well that finding you lushing away on a bottle of vodka wasn't it." He stepped forward putting the bottle in front of her. "Go dump the rest of this down the drain and don't you dare take one sip of it."

Ouch. That stung a little.

Natasha glared as she snatched the bottle away and poured it out in the sink before returning and crossing her arms, "There. Happy now?"

"Hardly," Loki remarked as he stared down at her. "You haven't finished giving me what I want, pet."

Natasha clenched her jaw and glared at him, "Fine. I'm fucking sorry. I'm sorry I don't do everything exactly the way you wanted me to do it at the exact moment you wanted me to do it. I'm sorry that I'm human and I had friends who I miss and love. I'm sorry that, after months of giving myself to you, you still look at me like I'm just a lowly piece of flesh."

"Have you ever given me more than your flesh, pet?" Loki probed as he traced his finger along her shoulder. "I don't think so, little spider." Which was fine by him. He had no use for needless sentiments. "You hate me and yet you sit here and complain that I don't care for you? You Midgardians and your twisted logic. Why did you agree to this deal anyway?"

Natasha took a step from him and turned around, "I have red in my ledger. I've done a lot of wrong in my life and I wanted to see if this could balance it out. I didn't know it would never get any better…I didn't know you were so full of hatred and contempt."

"And again, pet, what is it that you feel for me other than hatred and contempt?" Loki reiterated as he stared at her coldly. "Your race is so full of themselves. You stand there with nothing but hatred in your eyes and have the audacity to wonder why it doesn't breed affection for you from me?"

"I don't know what else to feel for you but contempt because you show me nothing but hate."

Natasha moved to the dresser and pulled her nightgown on over her head before laying in the bed and sighing, "I'm tired. My head hurts. Good night."

"I didn't say you could go to bed, pet, sit up until I tell you different." Loki rasped as he stood next to the mattress. "Tell me, little spider, what have you done in your little mind that should have inspired me with affection for you?"

Natasha shook her head and closed her eyes, "Obviously nothing. Me cooking for you when I've never cooked for anyone else…that's nothing. Me actually not getting on the phone with people even when you're not in my presence…obviously that's not respecting your wishes or you…You never said anything about an iMessage by the way…"

Natasha let out a breath and ran her hand through her hair, "…please leave me alone now.

"You cooked because you were bored and were looking for something to do… not for me. Please don't insult me. I respect straight answers, pet, I respect honesty." Loki shook his head at her continued insistence that if he treated her differently that she would suddenly feel something for him. It was actually starting to really get on his nerves. "You came here hating me. You came here like a sacrificial lamb to protect your planet and clean off your ledger. You were smart enough not to get on the phone because you knew that you would face my anger if you didn't not because you respected me. And you used your iPad because you didn't think I could check it. Now sit up."

Natasha sat up and practically screamed, "Fine! You're right! Where would I get the STUPID idea that I would be nice to you if you were nice to me. Mutual respect…why, I've never heard of that before. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm tired. I don't feel well. Please let me go to bed."

"Then why don't you start… if you think it works that way… go ahead… be sincerely nice to me and see what happens," Loki spat out as he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her off the bed so that she was standing in front of him. "You don't feel well because you drank a half a bottle of Vodka, pardon me if I don't feel bad for you. There's the bathroom if you're feeling ill." He pushed her toward the door. "You're not going to bed yet… Too bad for you if you're tired after your little bender. Perhaps you'll remember that next time, darling. If you want mutual respect, little spider, then it starts with you, got it? Because I'm fine with the way things are and I don't want to hear another whine out of your mouth. I've had enough of your pity party. You want me to look at you differently then look in the mirror. You want me to let you lay down than you take that chip off your shoulder and the bitch out of your voice and you ask me with sincerity and see what happens, pet."

Natasha didn't respond to him. She simply moved to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She sat down on the floor and, there, in the farthest corner away from the door, she allowed herself to break down and cry.

Natasha steeled herself and sniffled, slowly moving to the sink to wash off her face and move back toward the bed. She sat on the edge and sighed, clasping her hands in her lap, "I'm just tired. May I please go to sleep now?"

"Yes, you may," Loki replied before exiting the room and closing the door softly behind him. He wasn't sure why he felt so affected by her this evening but he didn't like it. He moved swiftly down the stairs as he passed his butler who was tiding up before he retired. "If she leaves the room before I come back you are to call me immediately." he ordered as he walked out the door.

The young god drove himself to a night club, he had access energy that he needed to work off, spotting a pretty blonde as he walked toward the bar. He moved toward her as he smiled seductively.

Natasha woke a couple of hours later feeling restless. Loki was gone, so she decided to go downstairs and wander around the house. She stared out the window, then went to the theater room with a bottle of water to watch a movie.

Little did she know, the dutiful butler was telling on her for something she thought was completely innocent.

Loki sat at the bar as he bought the young woman another drink as the phone in his pocket began to ring. "Pardon me, darling," the young god remarked as he answered his cell. "She's awake? Yes… keep me informed." He hung up the phone and turned his attention back to the woman at his side. "Sorry for the interruption, darling, how would you like to go back to my place?"

Natasha started to doze again in the theater room, so she went back up to the main level. As she walked past the foyer, Loki stepped in with a buxom blond, giddily clinging to his arm. A feeling of inexplicable jealousy overwhelmed her. They had sex at least twice a day and he still needed extra pussy?

Natasha bristled slightly and favored him with a stern glare before moving toward the stairs. She didn't need to speak to them. Loki made it very clear that he would do what he wanted, when he wanted, and there was nothing he could say on the matter, so she kept her mouth shut.

Loki watched her for a moment as she moved up the stairs before turning his attention back to the woman at his side. "There are lots of bedrooms upstairs," he grinned impishly before leaning in and brushing his lips seductively against hers. "Would you like me to show you one?" She nodded before kissing him back more hungrily as he brought her up to one of the guest rooms. He had enough of the Black Widow's drama for one night. He was going to enjoy himself this evening and to Hel with her.

Natasha has heard them stumble into the bedroom next to the master. Every noise they made drove her crazier and crazier with jealousy until she finally snapped. Why was she even jealous in the first place? She HATED Loki. It was legitimate hate. If there was a way she could kill him, she would do it…so it was just as much a surprise to her as it was the blond who she yanked from atop Loki.

"You want me to give a damn, Loki? Well here's me giving a damn!" she yelled at him.

The blond held her dress closed, "Um…are you guys married?"

"Get out before I give you a new boob job, bitch!" she snapped.

The blond grabbed her shoes an purse and sprinted out as Natasha stared at him. Despite her hate for him, he affectively owned her…and she hated the thought that she didn't own him right back. Well…right now she was about to demonstrate that wasn't quite true.

Natasha slipped her nightgown off over her head and sauntered toward the edge of the bed. She shoved him backwards and climbed on top of him, "I'm not enough for you, huh?"

Loki wasn't quite sure what just happened as he stared at her in disbelief. "You should be thrilled I wasn't bothering you with my needs… You hate me… You hate being here… I don't understand what you're doing right now?"

Natasha leaned down until her lips were hovering just above his, "There's no emotion more full of passion than hate…don't you think?"

She captured his lips in a hungry, feverish kiss as she reached down between them and grabbed a hold of his cock, favoring it with a few pumps before she eased down onto him. The sex was rough, wild, and at the end of it, they both bore the marks of their coupling.

Afterwards, in an odd show of affection, Natasha kissed his chest and lay against him for a few moments before pressing a tender kiss to his lips and getting up to retire back in the master bedroom.

"Good night Loki…"


	3. Chapter 3

Loki lied there for a few moments staring up at the ceiling. Trying to figure out exactly what was going on. She actually was jealous. He hadn't expected that nor had he expected how much the sight of it would have pleased him. He finally got out of the bed, dressing himself magically in a pair of pajama pants as he moved back to the master suite. She was already asleep it seemed as he moved into the bed, lying down on his side as he gazed at her sleeping form for a moment before deliberately turning the other way. He was starting to feel a little confused and he didn't like it at all.

A couple of days later, it was storming outside. Natasha had cooked them a nice dinner, which Loki had opted to eat in the library while she ate in the kitchen. Afterwards, he wandered into the living room where she sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, playing solitaire. She watched him regard her briefly and raised a brow, "Do you…want to play…cards?"

After they had woken up the following morning things had been relatively normal. They went back to their usual routine. He approached her when he was in the mood and aside from that he kept to himself. The young god gazed down at her quizzically as she sat on the floor. She wanted to play a game with him? Whatever for? Loki hesitated for a moment before finally giving in. "Eh heh heh heh.. Alright, pet, if you promise not to cheat." He sat down on the floor at the opposite side of the table. He supposed there was nothing wrong with being a little more civil. It didn't mean that he felt anything for her.

Natasha smirked before laying the cards out for a game of speed. After explaining the rules, they started playing, and it became jovially competitive. At one point, they slammed the final cards down at the same time, but Natasha claimed victory. She loudly accused him of having extra cards in his hands and jumped on top of him over the table, grabbing at his hands as he hid them behind his back.

As their laughter died down, she stared down into his eyes, before they suddenly found themselves in the middle of a passionate, yet somehow loving kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as the kiss deepened, moaning against his mouth.

This wasn't about him being in the "mood"…this was about a genuine moment between two people.

Loki hadn't expected her lips to touch his nor had he been prepared for the strange feeling that bubbled up inside of him at the slow intensity of their movements. He tangled his fingers in her soft red curls, feeding from the sweetness of her mouth as he felt her arms wrap around his neck. He hadn't commanded her to kiss him. She was just kissing him. The thought both excited him and confused him at the same time.

Natasha reached between them and opened his pants before thrusting her hips forward, impaling herself on his shaft. Her body shuddered as moaned softly and she rolled her hips forward in slow, torturous circles. She kissed his lips hungrily as she drove herself toward a powerful, convulsing orgasm.

Loki gasped as he felt her body shuddering around him, she was so warm, so perfect and everything felt somehow more intense. But it was the look in her eyes that affected him the most. "By the nines," he groaned in unadulterated bliss as they came together, his breathing erratic and his heartbeat thundering in his chest. "Valhalla."

Natasha panted as she stared down into his eyes, her arms still firmly wrapped around his neck. She was confused by the emotions bubbling up within her. She was only used to feeling hate and contempt when she looked at him, so feeling anything different for him was sending her for a loop. Natasha could see something different in his eyes as well, and it appeared that the moment had the potential to get very uncomfortable, very fast.

She knew she had to do something…

"Do you want some wine? I'm gonna open a bottle of wine. I'll bring you back a glass", she said as she slowly stood up and moved to the kitchen as she straightened out her dress.

"Yeah… sure… thanks," Loki stumbled out as he fixed his pants. His dark green eyes gazing back towards the cards that were strewn about the table. He began picking up the ones that had fallen on the floor when she returned and handed him a glass of wine. "Thank you." He took the glass from her and proceeded to take a big gulp. He suddenly felt unsure as to what to do.

"You're welcome" she murmured as she took her own big gulp. They both seemed a little uncomfortable. She set her wine glass down and helped him finish picking up the cards before quickly finishing off her glass. "Well…I'm going to go take a shower…and go to bed, if that's ok."

"Yes, that's fine," Loki murmured as he took his final sip. His dark green eyes gazing at her thoughtfully. "Would you like any company?" The corner of his mouth upturned in the barest of smiles.

Natasha had started to head up the stairs and turned back to look at the small smirk on his face. She nodded, "Yeah…"

Moments later, Natasha was standing beneath the warm spray of the large shower. She turned around and wet her hair, lathering it with shampoo. Despite the fact that her eyes were closed, she could still feel his eyes roaming over her body.

Loki gazed at the water dripping down her body as she placed her head back under the faucet. He ran his fingers along her soapy strands, helping her rinse the shampoo from her hair before leaning closer and kissing her lips.

Natasha returned his kiss as she wrapped her arms around him, pressing her wet, naked body to his as he moved them back toward the shower wall. A soft gasp escaped her lips as she felt the evidence of his arousal press against her stomach.

Lifting her legs around his waist as he pressed her against the shower wall, Loki eased himself into her deliciously slow. She felt amazing. Somehow she felt even more incredible than ever before. He ground his body into hers with slow, hypnotic movements. "You… you feel so good." he breathed huskily.

"Oh god…you feel amazing…" she whimpered as she wrapped herself around him and eagerly moved her hips against his. It didn't take long before they were crying out through their orgasms.

That night, Natasha dreamt of days past…of her old life with the Avengers. Despite the delicious sex Loki had been providing, she missed Clint and the affection behind the sex they had. It had never been a real "relationship", but when he held her, she could tell that he cared about her…unlike with Loki.

The next morning, as usual, the god awoke before her and began trailing kisses from her bare shoulder to her neck.

In her half-awake daze, Natasha smiled lazily and murmured, "Clint…"

Loki awoke in an unusually good mood. He was thinking about the evening before and how it had felt to be with her. The way she had looked at him and touched him. She had actually wanted him and although the thought had made him a little wary at first. He was starting to warm up to the idea. The young god smiled as he watched her sleeping at his side before he began feathering her skin with soft kisses, moving slowly along her shoulder as he felt her begin to awaken. His smile deepened as he reached her neck until he heard the word that she said. His mood changing in an instant as an unbridled rage took hold of him. He sat up, his blood boiling as he wrapped his hand against her throat and jerked her toward him. "Wrong name," he seethed as his dark emerald eyes bore into her now wide-open blue.

Natasha's eyes widened in panic. She'd been dreaming…oh god, how could she have been so stupid? Things had been so good last night…and now, this.

She grabbed at the wrist that was connected to the hand which was now tightening around her throat. He could kill her right now if he wanted to.

Natasha's words came between desperate gasps for air, "Loki! I..I was asleep! I—-"

The look in his eyes told her it was probably smart to save her breath for actual breathing rather than a lame explanation or apology. She knew she'd be lucky to get out of this one alive…

"Loki? Oh… you do know my name, pet," the young god bit off sarcastically as he maintained his grip around her neck. His rage was near palpable. He had let himself believe that she actually enjoyed being with him. He felt like an idiot. Hearing that name had actually hurt. And that he let himself be vulnerable enough to be hurt by her actions made him as angry with himself as he was with her. His hold tightening as she grabbed at his fingers. "If you want to see another tomorrow. I suggest that you never forget it again." He let go of her, tossing her back against the pillows as he stood from the bed before storming out of the bedroom. Loki headed into the basement, his body practically shaking with ire as he practiced throwing his daggers along a wooden target on the far wall.

Natasha alternated between taking in greedy gulps of air and coughing as she lay back against the pillows, holding her neck. She didn't know why she actually felt bad for saying Clint's name. Something about the look in Loki's eyes made her believe that he was actually hurt by it…he was actually upset.

She steered clear of him as much as she could, using her training and instincts to quickly exit rooms he was on his way into. She didn't want to be at the receiving end of anymore of his wrath.

Her time had run out that night, however, when she found her way out of the bedroom blocked by his formidable frame as it filled the doorway.

"Hi-hi…" she stuttered.

"Hi? Eh heh heh heh… like we're old friends or something," Loki rasped as his dark emerald eyes glared at her angrily. "You've been a busy little thing today haven't you, little spider? I don't think I've seen you sit still all day, pet."

Natasha's eyes darted around the room for a potential exit or a weapon…if it came to that. She found none. She took a slow step back, knowing that angry, maniacal look in his eyes all too well.

"I thought I should give you some space…I didn't think you wanted to be near me."

"Oh… I see… you were being considerate of my feelings, is that what you're going with, darling? Eh heh heh heh," Loki drawled as he moved into the room, shutting the door behind him and locking it. "You're nothing if not predictable, pet."

Natasha's eyes zoned in on him locking the door as a feeling of dread overwhelmed her body. She took another step back and held her hands out in front of her, "Loki…I know you're mad…maybe I should sleep in another room tonight?"

He began moving toward her, and she slowly circled around the room, keeping as much distance as she could between them.

"So accommodating you are, pet, as if you have any choice in the matter," Loki replied heatedly as he took another step toward her. "You'll sleep where I tell you to sleep. Let's not forget your place. You do what I tell you, remember?" He kept moving toward her until he finally had cornered her against the dresser, placing one hand on either side of her as he held pressed his palms against the dresser top. His dark emerald eyes filled with resentment as he loomed over her. "What's the matter, little spider? Afraid I might want to touch you. Well, don't worry at the moment I have no desire to be with you whatsoever."

Natasha's breathing sped up as he cornered her against the dresser. She would have breathed a sigh of relief at his words, except…he still had her pressed against the piece of furniture.

"Alright…ok…" she said, just above a whisper.

She looked up into his eyes, "I..I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are, pet… Eh heh heh heh… I bet you're real sorry, all your hard work down the drain," Loki snipped as he continued to pin her against the dresser. "I think there was a moment where things got a little… cloudy between the two of us. Which is probably what you were shooting for? So I think it's best that I reiterate the rules. I own you, little spider, and you do what I say. I don't want you roaming these halls trying to avoid me because if I want you then you're mine. You understand that? But don't worry… the bed's all yours tonight." The young god stepped back, pointing toward the bed with a flourish of his arm as he turned around and moved to unlock the door.

As he started to walk toward the door, she stepped toward the bed, "You don't own all of me…my heart…my mind. They don't belong to you. And no matter how many times you take me…you know that another man will be in my head…and the reason why me saying Clint's name bothered you so much was because having my body somehow stopped being enough for you."

She had no idea what possessed her to talk to him like this, but for some reason, she continued, "It drives you crazy, doesn't it? To know that I might be thinking of someone else while you're inside of me?"

"Is that what you think?" Loki snapped as he turned around and stalked back toward her. "Or maybe that's just what you wish. You wish there was a difference between when I was inside of you or if I happen to be fucking any other woman in this grand old planet of yours. Maybe I just own your body but you, darling, you don't even own that. You don't have a claim on any part of me. You are nothing to me but a concubine."

Natasha was enraged. She was enraged because it was true. She wanted him to think she was special. She wanted him to want her above all others, and she hated herself for that. She hated him.

Overwhelmed by her anger, she punched him as hard as she could, "Fuck you! You don't own me! I don't want you to touch me ever again! I'm never letting you put your fucking hands on me again you bastard! I fucking hate you! I don't care anymore!"

Loki felt her fist connect with his jaw as his head knocked to the side at the contact. Turning back toward her evilly as he grabbed her wrists forcefully and pulled her flush against him. "That was a mistake, little spider, that was a very big mistake on your part. If I wanted you right now. I would take you. It is as simple as that. I do own you courtesy of your beloved countrymen. You want to fight with me? Huh, is that what you want? You think you're a match for me?"

Natasha spat at him and fought against him, feverishly working to yank her hands out of his grip, but it was futile. That didn't stop her from screaming at him as she squirmed against him and glared up at him with flashing eyes, "Like fuck you would! You son of a bitch! Let go! You can't have me anymore! I don't want you to touch me ever again! I swear to god, I'd fucking kill you if I had the strength!"

"But you don't… you're just a puny little mortal," Loki smirked as he watched her squirm against him. "And I can have you whenever I want. But I'm not in the mood for you tonight, pet. Eh heh heh heh.. I'm feeling more like I'm in the mood for a brunette."

Natasha's jaw clenched as she stared up at him, huffing in anger.

"I was so fucking stupid to think I could ever learn to care about you! You're nothing but a selfish piece of shit!" she exclaimed suddenly as she kneed him as hard as she could in the groin. Mortal, immortal…god or man. If you had junk, that hurt, and by the way his grip slackened on her body and he doubled over, she could easily tell that hurt.

Suddenly, she found herself panicked. She'd inflicted real pain on him…and he'd already been in a 'mood' before that. She ran out of the room and down the stairs before sprinting out of the house and toward the beach.

Natasha didn't know where she was going, she just knew she needed to be sure to put some distance between herself and the god who would surely be coming after her with all of his wrath.

It took the young god a minute before he stopped seeing stars as the pain dissipated. Not nearly enough time for her to get very far ahead of him as he caught sight of her running along the moonlit beach. With a wave of his hand he wrapped her up in swirl of air and pulled her back in his direction as he walked towards her, closing the final distance between them. "Exactly, where do you think you're going? You're precious Shield would just return you to me. In fact, I bet they would put out a man hunt to find you just to keep themselves in my good graces. All those nasty aliens out there that they need my help with."

Natasha stopped her struggle against the invisible bonds as she glared at him, "What do you care with keeping me? You've gone through great lengths to remind me just how replaceable and invaluable I am to you. I'm obviously more trouble than I'm worth to you. You should just do yourself a favor and kill me. Do us both that favor. Find someone else to torture."

"Torture? Well, if I've been torturing you all these months you've been giving a great impression of enjoying it, pet," Loki drawled as he let go of her bonds while they stood along the beach. "Don't bother running I'll just catch you again."

"An orgasm doesn't mean anything, you pretentious asshole. I have control over that. The absolute only reason why I cum when we have sex is because I choose to. Your cock is no more special than any other man's! You're just another dick as far as I'm concerned", she snapped as she stomped back to the house. Natasha walked into the house and stomped straight up to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her and flopping onto the bed.

Loki stepped into the bedroom and closed the door behind him as he moved towards the bed. "I think I've changed my mind."

Natasha scooted away and turned her back to him as she lay on her side. "Changed your mind about what?" she murmured.

"About how I want to spend my evening, little spider," Loki breathed in his sultry accent as he lied down behind her on the bed, wrapping his arm tightly around her as he pulled her body flush against him, his lips against the pulse point of her neck.

Natasha tried to squirm and push against him as she attempted to pry his arm from around her, "Get the hell off of me!"

"No… I won't," Loki insisted as he brushed his lips against her ear. "I want you." His voice a soft whisper against her skin as he repeated the statement again pausing on each word for emphasis. "I… want… you… Natalia."

Natasha slowly stopped her struggle and turned her head slightly to look into his eyes. Did he mean that? She wasn't certain….after feeling his lips on hers, it ceased to matter. She hated this…she hated him…

When she turned her head toward him, he leaned in and captured her lips in a heated kiss, releasing his hold on her waist so that she could turn toward him, his hand running up and down her thigh as he enjoyed the feel of her lips against his. "Do you want me? Do you want me, Natalia?"

Natasha stared up at him, knowing she'd likely hate herself for giving into him later. He was baiting her…he had to be. He'd use this against her later. Before she could stop herself, she found herself whispering "yes" against his lips.

She pulled him between her open legs as the kiss deepened, but she grabbed his hair as she broke the kiss and panted and looked up into his eyes, "…you told me that I'm nothing to you…said I don't mean anything…why would I willingly give myself to you after you've made me feel like nothing?!"

"You're not nothing, little spider. I think you're beautiful and strong and smart, an incredible woman," Loki whispered as he gazed into her dark blue eyes. He felt a desperate need to have her as he pressed his body against hers. "And I want you to want me…. I want you to want me as badly as I want you."

Natasha arched and moaned as he pressed against her. She softly moaned his name as she pulled his face down to hers for a hungry kiss.

"I want you…I wanted you to want me too, Loki", she whispered against his lips as she began clawing at his clothing, desperate to divest him of the restrictive layers of clothing so that they could be one.

Loki used his magic to rid them of their clothing as he sank himself into her again and again. Surrendering to the feelings that had been haunting him for days as he devoured every bit of her skin that his lips could reach. "It's never felt so good… only with you…. just you…. Natalia."

Natasha rocked her hips upwards against him as she desperately clung to his body. She moaned as she pulled his lips back to hers for a passionate kiss, "Oh god…Loki…Loki…yes…yes…"

After they shuddered together through their most satisfying, delicious orgasms yet, she lay against his chest with her leg draped over his body. She idly trailed her fingers over his chest as she fell into a dreamless sleep. When she woke up to feel his lips trailing up and down her back, she softly murmured, "Loki…"

Loki grinned against her back as he continued to trail his way up to her neck, brushing her long silk curls to the side as he nibbled along her throat. "Good morning, my little spider," he breathed against her skin. "You had such a pretty smile while you were sleeping… eh heh heh heh I almost didn't wake you but I'm not very patient, pet."

Natasha closed her eyes and moaned as she stretched beneath him, "I'm glad that's the case…"

After a delicious round of sex, Natasha went downstairs and made them pancakes. She forced Loki to take his first stab at flipping a pancake. They both had a good laugh when the pancake ended up stuck on the ceiling.

As the days past, they began to make memories together and actually enjoy each other's company. They took walks on the beach and Natasha continued cooking. Some recipes turning out better than others. He even started taking her out every now and then for dinner…that happened if she burned or ruined dinner.

Despite the progress they made in their "relationship" Natasha could sense that he remained guarded…they both did. During the day, Loki would fall silent, go for a walk or disappear into the library. Days when he had to go into shield for consultations were particularly moody. Natasha knew it had something to do with him seeing Clint.

Loki walked into the mansion and shut the door forcefully behind him as he moved through the halls and straight into the basement gym. His mood always soured when he had to go into the Shield offices. Inevitably he would cross paths with the archer and today was no different than any other day. He couldn't stand the mortal. He couldn't stand the fact that they were once lovers and the archer never missed an opportunity to point out the fact that Natasha would never go anywhere near him of her volition. If he didn't imagine that there would be repercussions that could cost him is amnesty he would have killed the little birdman a long time ago.

The young god stomped down the stairs, calling a dagger into his hand before he had even reached the landing as he held in it his hand ready to aim at his target. His dark green eyes falling on Natasha as she landed a back kick into the punching bag.

"Well done, little spider," He replied coolly as he walked past her and began hurling his weapons at the wall.

Natasha smirked and murmured a thanks before she continued battering the boxing bag. Upon noticing his exceptionally tense demeanor, she stopped and grabbed the bag to steady it, "Uh…you ok? You seem a little more tense and more…murder-y than normal. Wanna talk about it?"

"Your realm seems to take offence to murdering one of their number so I figured this was a more constructive use of my time," Loki mused as he conjured another dagger in his palm.

Natasha moved toward him as she unwrapped the boxing tape from her hands, "You know, I could help you release some of that tension…"

She sauntered toward him and pressed a sensual kiss to his lips as she wrapped her arms around him.

Loki kissed her back greedily as he placed his hands against her hips before pulling away slightly. His dark green eyes searching hers. "Where do you think you'd be right now if I hadn't asked for you?"

Natasha furrowed her eyebrows briefly before staring up at him with a confused smile, "What? Why…why are you even asking me that? I don't know…right this second, I'd probably be in Turkey or Syria on a mission…I'd be working, I guess."

With Barton, no doubt, Loki thought to himself as he moved away from her. He strutted towards the far wall, admiring his handiwork before waving a hand in the air as the daggers disappeared from where they had been embedded in the wood. "Just curious… I was just thinking, pet… nothing important." The one place she certainly wouldn't be was with him. The truth of that stung more than he liked to admit.

Natasha eyed him curiously and pointed back up the stairs, "Ok…well, I'm going to go take a shower…feel free to join me if you like."

Soon after Natasha lathered up her hair, the doorbell rang. When the butler opened it, he revealed Clint Barton, who strolled in past the older gentleman, "I'm here to see Tasha and I'm not leavin' til I do."


	4. Chapter 4

"Eh heh heh heh," Loki smiled wickedly as he walked across the living room. "This is delightful…. you've just made my night, Barton."

"I'm sorry, sir," the butler apologized. "He just pushed passed me."

"I want to see Tasha, now," Clint reiterated.

"You're trespassing on my property," Loki remarked coolly as he strutted toward him so they were less than a foot away from each other. "You can either turn around and walk out or I'm going to throw you out, little birdman. Can you guess which option I'm hoping you'll take?"

"I'm not going anywhere until I see her. I'm through with this crap," Barton snipped as he made a move to walk around him. "This thing you've got them all to agree to is sick. Forcing a woman to sleep with you to save her planet, how pathetic are you."

Without a second thought Loki hauled off and punched him straight in the gut with all of his strength causing the archer to fly backward and into the foyer table several feet away, smashing it into pieces from the force of his fall.

"Can you stand? Or do you still need me to escort you to the door?" the young god bit off evilly as he stalked forward. The archer placed his hand along his middle as he attempted to rise.

"Truth hurts, huh," Hawkeye mumbled as he struggled to his feet.

"Eh heh heh heh… you don't learn do you," Loki spat. The young god was seething with anger and jealousy. He knew what the archer said was the truth. She was only here for one reason. She never would have looked at him twice if she hadn't been part of his bargain. She hated him. Even now, she would never choose to stay if she had the choice to leave. But that was a choice he was never going to give her.

Natasha had just stepped out of the shower when she heard the commotion downstairs. She could have sworn she'd heard Clint's raised voice in the shower…the commotion confirmed that the archer was here…and by the sounds of it, his little visit was not going well.

Natasha threw on her robe and rushed down the stairs in time to see Clint trying to climb to his feet on top of the debris of the foyer table as Loki advanced on him. She gasped and rushed between the two men before immediately rushing to her former partner to help him up, "Oh my god! Clint! What are you doing here? Loki! Was this necessary?!"

Her trembling hands fretted over the archer before her gaze was transferred to Loki's. His eyes were practically flashing in anger.

"I'm fine. I'm fine, Tasha…I wanted to check on you", he said, moving to his feet and gently cupping her face. "He's not hurting you in here, is he?"

Natasha glanced back at Loki and took a step backwards from Clint. Surely, him touching her like that in Loki's presence was a bad idea.

She shook her head, "I'm fine. I'm fine…you shouldn't have come here…"

The sight of her rushing to the archer's aid made Loki's head near explode with jealousy. The way she touched him with such concern, he could feel his blood literally boiling. "Get out of my home. This is your last chance to walk out of here or I swear by the roots of Yggdrasil that you'll be leaving here in a hurse."

Clint glared menacingly, but Natasha took him by the arm and slowly guided him for the door. After living with Loki for a few months, she quickly learned that when he swore by the roots of Yggdrasil, he meant business.

"Clint…I'm fine. I've been fine…I appreciate the concern, but you have to go…" she implored as she opened the door.

The archer backed out while staring at her longingly. He reached out and brushed a hair out of her face and sighed, "I miss ya, Tasha…I'm…I'm always gonna miss you. Til you're free from this bastard…" He turned his eyes to Loki, "…and she will be free. One day. You'll be nothing more to her than a bad memory…a warden. I'm going to give her everything I know you won't…or can't."

And with those words, Clint was gone. Natasha closed the door behind him and lowered her head, breathing heavily. She didn't want to meet Loki's eyes just yet. She knew he was fuming.

Loki stood there staring at the back of her head for a moment as he realized what a fool he had been for the past few weeks. She didn't really want him not really and she never would. He should have left things the way they were. He didn't like the pain that filled him at the archer's words. All the things he said and she hadn't disagreed with him not in the slightest because they were all true.

The young god moved swiftly from the room and walked into the library, sitting down in one of the large chairs by the fireplace. He opened a book, although he didn't even bother attempting to read. He had made a mistake. One that he was going to undo. He wasn't going to give her the ability to hurt him anymore.

Natasha wondered for a while if she should follow him, but she'd learned that Loki preferred to be left alone and unprovoked. She stopped at the door, "Loki…Loki, I'll be upstairs if you need me."

She climbed into bed and sat in silence for a few moments, waiting for him to come up. After nearly two hours of staring at the door, she leaned back in bed with a book and started reading. She fell asleep with the book on her chest, but when she woke up in the wee hours of the morning, she realized that Loki wasn't in bed with her.

It was almost four in the morning, so she began wandering the house, looking for him…but he was nowhere to be found. She used the house phone to call him a couple of times and left a message, "Uh…hi. It's me. Natasha…um…I was wondering where you are. I know you were upset and…I just…uh…well, just let me know you're fine."

It was about 2pm the following afternoon when Loki finally returned to the mansion. He walked through the house and spotted Natasha preparing something in the kitchen but he didn't bother to even enter the room as he continued on and went back into the library. His mood wasn't any better than it had been the night before. In fact, he hadn't thought it was possible but he felt even worse. He stared at the shelves aimlessly trying to decide what he was in the mood to read.

Natasha thought she heard the door open. She'd spent the morning worried about him. She quickly dried her hands on a dish towel and turned off the burner on the stove and rushed out into the foyer. Through the glass doors, she spotted Loki's car.

"Loki?" she questioned as she wandered into the library, breathing out when she saw him. She crossed her arms, "Wow…phone not working? Couldn't find time to call me to let me know everything was ok? I didn't know if you'd gotten called away on a SHIELD mission or what. You've been gone for sixteen hours! Where were you?"

"None of your business," Loki stated simply as he finally picked a book from the shelf and moved to sit down.

Natasha flinched as she suddenly found the unexpected sensation of hurt permeating her chest. She'd been genuinely worried about him and wanted to know where he was. That fact shocked and surprised her…and now, he was being an ass about it. He'd been nice to her for weeks, but all of the sudden…one appearance from Barton and he was acting like the same old asshole.

"So, we're back at square one, huh? Wow…alright."

Natasha stomped up the stairs and slammed the bedroom door, not realizing tears were in her eyes until one streaked down her cheek.

Loki sighed for a moment before continuing to read. After a little while, it became pointless, he kept reading the same few lines over and over. He hated the feeling in his chest and it was all her fault. He left the library and moved down to the gym intent on ridding his body of some his frustrations. Until he hit the bag so hard it ripped from the ceiling and slammed into the opposing wall.

He moved upstairs to take a shower, for a moment he thought about using one of the guest rooms but then he realized how ridiculous that would be. He opened the door as she sat on the bed with a magazine in her hand. Without a word he threw off his dress shirt and strutted into the bathroom.

Once he moved into the bathroom, she rolled her eyes and moved off of the bed to grab his shirt and toss it into the hamper. Before she did, however, a packet of condoms fell from his pocket. She felt her entire face get hot as her breathing quickened when her eyes turned to the bathroom. They didn't use condoms. Ever.

The water had started, but she didn't care.

Natasha marched into the bathroom before slamming the door of the shower open and throwing the condoms at him.

"You son of a bitch! You're a liar! You told me I was special! You are fucking full of shit!" she screamed as she pounded against him. "You're a liar! You're a fucking liar! You're a whore and you're a fucking liar!"

Loki flinched in surprise as the shower door swung open and a packet of condoms hit him in the chest before it was quickly followed by her fists as she starting screaming at him. "Enough!" he growled as he grabbed her by the arms before shoving her away from him slightly. He turned off the water as he stepped out of the shower using his magic to dry himself and put on new clothes. "Like you care what I do. How many hours did it take you last night to even notice I wasn't home?" He stalked from the bathroom as he headed toward the doorway of the bedroom intent on leaving.

Natasha stomped after him and rushed in front of him, blocking the doorway as she angrily pointed at his chest, "If you'll remember correctly, you were downstairs in the library pouting like a fucking bitch because you can't handle seeing Clint Barton! So I came up here and waited for you! I stared at that goddamn door for two hours before I picked up a fucking book and starting reading. It got late. I fell asleep. We humans tend to do that unprovoked because we NEED certain amounts of sleep, you oblivious asshole! As soon as I woke up, I went looking for you. I called you and I waited up for you! I hardly slept last night because I was worried you'd gotten called away on a dangerous mission or something!"

"Worried about me? You're so full of it," Loki bit off angrily. "I know how you look when you care about someone, I've seen it first hand and it's not the way you look at me. Just ask you precious little birdman. I'm nothing but your warden now get the Hel out of my way."

Natasha refused to budge as she glared up at him, "Of course I don't care about you the same way I care about Clint! He's one of my oldest friends! We have a history! Oh, and let's see…he's never choked me…he's never insulted me or made me feel like an object or slave. He values my opinion and talks to me like I'm a real person. You can't sit there and bitch about me not looking at you the same way I look at him when you go out of your way to make sure I remember that you OWN me. That is your own goddamn fault!"

"And yet you worried about me," Loki retorted sarcastically. "Thanks for proving my point, pet." He grabbed her by the shoulders, lifting her slightly as he moved her out of his way and left the room.

Natasha hit the door as he slammed it behind him and sunk down against it. She was angry, hurt, and frustrated. She felt stupid for ever allowing herself to give a damn about him. He was a selfish, cruel bastard, and there was no way that was ever going to change. She was naive to think otherwise, even for a moment.

After several moments, she moved into the bathroom and picked the condoms up off of the shower floor. She furrowed her eyebrows as she set them on the counter. Why did he even use condoms in the first place? She thought he was immune to Midgardian diseases.

Oh well. That would be a question she may never get to ask since he was being such a child.

Loki sat at the kitchen table with his cellphone against his ear as he spoke to the director of Shield. "Yes.. Well after the other day I think it is very necessary. Let's just say it is an add on to my list of demands… Whose assistance do you require more… that's what I thought… I don't care but the farther the away the better. I don't ever want to see him again… It's a pleasure doing business with you, Fury." He clicked his phone off, his dark green eyes falling upon Natasha who was standing by the counter.

Natasha glanced at the phone at his hand and narrowed her eyes as she crossed her arms, "You…you were on the phone with Fury…about not wanting to see him…again. You're having him transfer Clint, aren't you?! It's not enough that you own me. You have to do everything in your power to hurt me in any way you can, don't you?!"

"Hurt you? Eh heh heh heh," Loki chuckled as he put his feet up on the chair across from him. "You are really narcissistic, you realize that, pet? Tell me since you can't text him or call him or see him, how does where he is living at the moment hurt you?"

Natasha glared and shook her head, "If and when you ever tire of me, I'm going to need support of friends whose affection for me isn't conditional of how good the sex is. Actually, I take that back. You have no affection for me. I forgot…you honestly couldn't care less whether I lived or died."

She started to walk out, but she turned around and leaned against the counter, "I know you're not susceptible to Midgardian diseases, Loki. Care to explain why you were using condoms?"

"It's not my habit to tell the average woman that I'm the god of mischief from a faraway realm," Loki drawled as he stood up and moved toward her placing his hands against the counter top on either side of her. "I want this to stop. Stop complaining for my supposed lack of affection for you when you have none for me. Am I clear? I'm sick of it. What would you do if I died on some mission for Shield? Throw a party?"

Natasha glared at him when she realized that, if he died, she would actually feel a sense of loss and sadness…and it burned her to know that he wouldn't feel the same way. She closed her eyes and shook her head before turning on her heel and walking out of the room.

Loki moved after her and grabbed her forcefully as he pulled her back toward him. "You don't walk away from me! I asked a question and you're going to answer it. I'm sick and tired of you acting like your lack of feelings for me is my fault. Like there is anything that I could ever do to make you look at me that way." He let her go as he brushed his fingers through his hair in frustration. He hated feeling this way. But he didn't know how to stop. He didn't know how to shut it back off. "You don't want to be with me…. even after.. I'm just a warden and you wouldn't care if I was gone. You'd be happy wouldn't you?"

Natasha glared at him, "You're trying to trick me into admitting my feelings for you again. I'm not going to fall for it. Just like last time…we made love…and you looked me right in the eyes…called me Natalia…told me you wanted me and that I was special. You played along for a few weeks, then bam…you start treating me like a common whore again."

She fought hard against the tears, but in spite of her will power, they formed in her eyes and threatened to spill onto her cheeks as she shook her head.

"No. No, I'm not that stupid. I'm not going to fall for your tricks again. I refuse to let myself be vulnerable to you…never again."

She snatched out of his grip and rushed from the room, praying that he would let her get away before the tears began to fall in earnest.

Loki followed after her angrily, rushing in front of her as he blocked her from walking any further. "That is such a lie. You were the one playing along and you're still doing it. Oh you put on a great show when I'm the only one in the room. But we all know how you really felt about me. The same way you felt from day one. It never changed. I saw it. I'm not stupid. Stop acting like I am."

Natasha glared at him, but quickly turned away as she wiped a tear from her eyes. She sniffled once and brushed a hand through her hair, "I don't want to bother with this anymore. You're just going to use whatever information. I give you against me later. You're going to lie to me and keep treating me like shit no matter what I feel to you. You've been trying to work over time to convince me how little I mean to you…congratulations. Your point has been proven. Now that it's sunk in, there's no way in this realm or any other that I'll be stupid enough to talk about my feelings with you. You have none. Especially for me. Let's just go back to simpler times. I am nothing to you. You are nothing to me. Come find me when you want to fuck…cause after all, that's all I'm good for. You don't need to remind me again."

"You just won't stop. Will you? What do you get out of it?" Loki exasperated as he tugged her back to face him once more. His dark green eyes gazing at her intently. "What you feel for me? I know exactly what you feel for me, pet. I saw it in your eyes that day when you came rushing to his side. It was like night and day from the way you look at me. I'll admit it… I thought for a little bit that you really did… I thought that we… for a little while… that you really wanted to be here… that you really wanted me the way I wanted you… I thought I saw something different in your eyes when we were together that first night and after.. I thought we were getting really close…but you'll never look at me that way… it was right there in black and white just what an idiot I was… and it was crazy of me to ever think that you…eh heh… that's fine.. I'm fine with that.." He wasn't really. He was far from fine with it. He didn't know what to do with himself. "I don't even know what my point is anymore. Eh heh heh heh. Just… never mind."

Natasha glared before yelling at him, "I don't know what you want me to say! Stop badgering me! Just fucking drop it already! Goddammit! We are nothing to each other. Obviously, you don't feel anything for me other than ownership, and like you said…I feel that you're my warden. Let's just leave it at that! I'm not interested in this back and forth, game playing, word interpretation bullshit. Let's call this what it is. A deal. The only reason you want me here because you enjoy reducing me to a sex slave and humiliating me. The only reason I'm here is because of an ill-advised deal. We should just leave it at that!"

"You don't tell me what to do!" Loki shouted as he grabbed her by the arms and shook her forcefully. "You've got that! I'll badger you all I want. We'll stand here all night if I want it! What do I want you to say. I want you to say straight out that you don't care about me and you never could. That the last few weeks didn't mean anything to you. You say I'm a liar? Well, I didn't lie to you. I meant what I said." The young god let her go as he brushed his fingers through his hair, pacing back in forth in front of her. "Every second I meant it… but it wasn't enough… not for you… the moment he walked into this house… you went right back to looking at me like I was nothing to you… you're the liar not me." He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as he exhaled slowly. "Go get your things and take them out of my room. Pick any other room you want. The farther away from mine the better."

Days later, Natasha hadn't seen Loki for more than a few moments in passing. She had taken up residence in a guest suite in the basement. She couldn't get any farther away from him than that…

It also gave her the ability to access the gym and the kitchen without traveling past the upper levels, which decreased the chances of seeing him.

Loki hadn't sought her out for days, but she counted it as a double sided blessing. She knew his appetite well, and she was almost certain he wasn't simply going without sex. He was likely getting it from somewhere else.

Loki walked inside the gym, stopping for a moment when he saw her practicing jabs on the punching bag. His dark green eyes gazing at her longingly for the barest of moments before his cold glare returned. He turned his attention back to the strawberry blonde that had followed him into the room.

"So you've seen everything pretty much. What do you think, pet?" the young god began as if Natasha wasn't even in the room.

"It's not bad… it definitely suits you," she smiled as she moved closer and tucked a stray hair behind his ear. Her light green eyes catching sight of the wall that he used for target practice. "And I see you are still as good a shot as ever. Do you really like it here, Loki?"

"Sometimes… yes.. eh heh heh heh," Loki murmured as he observed her carefully. He hadn't seen her in years and she still had yet to explain why she was here. "Why do you ask, Lorelei?"

"Do you mind if I stay for a bit?" she inquired as she ran a finger down the buttons of his shirt. "It's been so boring in Asgard since you've been gone."

Natasha spared them both a glare before she began unwrapping her hands. She listened to the conversation and attempted to stifle the unbridled jealously that was building in her chest. Luckily, her disdain for Loki won out. She didn't want him to see her show any sign of emotion toward him.

She stowed her gloves, picked up her bottle of water and sauntered out of the room as she took a sip from her water. Natasha noticed the woman as her eyes flicked in her direction.

She was tempted to utter "he's all yours, honey" before walking out of the room, but she ended up not bothering. As it stood, she had no reason to be there. He wasn't using her for sex. He wasn't speaking to her and he had a maid, butler and chef to do his cooking and cleaning.

Natasha knew he was keeping her out of spite and it made her hate him even more.

Lorelei laid on the bed staring up at him thoughtfully. He could almost hear the wheels spinning in her mind as he fixed the buckle of his pants. "What is it, my dear?" Loki inquired as he picked his shirt up off the floor and continued to redress.

"Why do you even bother keeping that little mortal around?" the sorceress asked curiously.

"Because she's mine," He snapped before moderating his tone. The truth was he would probably be better off sending her back to Shield. It wasn't like he was ever going to approach her again. He had thought about it, many times. She was his to have if he wanted. And the fates knew that he did. He used to love the control he had over her. He knew she hated him when they first bedded but even so her body responded to him in the most delicious of ways. He knew it still would but it was different. He had felt what it was like for her to kiss him of her own volition. For her to push him onto the bed because she wanted him and he couldn't go back to the old way. He couldn't touch her this way when she didn't want him back. It would hurt too much. And the knowledge of that only made him hate her more. But not enough to let her go. He would never let her go. "Like the mansion and everything else. And I never part with what's mine."

"Well, you should at least put her to some use," the goddess offered. "I've seen the way she looks at you, Loki. She thinks she's better than you. You should remind her that you're the master and she's the slave."

A few hours later, the young god appeared in her bedroom doorway. His dark green eyes staring at her coldly as he watched her combing her soft red curls while she stared at her reflection in the vanity.


	5. Chapter 5

Natasha felt his presence before she actually saw him. She turned to meet his gaze head on before turning back to her reflection to finish combing out her hair. He'd never come to her down here, and with his new guest around, she knew that he wouldn't be coming around anymore. She figured he was likely going to take his "visitor" out somewhere and was here to remind her to stay put "or else".

"And to what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked coolly as she stood up and tightened the tie around her robe. Natasha faced him and crossed her arms across her chest.

Loki moved from the doorway as he strutted into the room. Lorelei was right, he thought to himself. She had a chip on her shoulder and it was time he knocked it off. He made a flourish move with his arm as he pointed toward her bed. An apron appeared along the mattress.

"Your new duties, my pet," Loki smirked as he took another step toward her so they were barely an inch apart. "I think you've been idle long enough. I let the maid go so you should have plenty to occupy your day. I expect this place to remain spotless from top to bottom. Enjoy."

Natasha crossed her arms and glanced at the apron. A soft laugh fell from her lips as she shook her head, "…and if I refuse, what will you do? Whip me? Beat me? Deprive me of food? Lock me in a cage? Actually, I'm hoping I can get lucky and you kill me. Or maybe, you'll hurt Barton—oh wait. If you do that, our deal would be off and I'd be free…"

She glared at him and walked to the other end of the room, "You ignore me…then try to make me jealous with…what's-her-name up there. I wonder if the reason for your sudden foul mood is sexual frustration…it's not as good with a frigid Aesir, is it? Does she have that fire, Loki? I bet there's not one scratch mark on your back right now…your neck is devoid of bite marks…and on top of that, I haven't heard a peep…" She chuckled and plopped down onto the edge of the bed, "After we had sex, I'd walk out of the bedroom to find every servant in the house blushing…including the maid who'd been in the basement at the time…"

"You'll do what I say because that was the deal. Or do you suddenly not care about your ledger anymore? Not so worried about your fellow humankind? Don't mind leaving them alone for the next Alien Invasion when Shield has no idea what to do?" Loki drawled. His gaze trailed down her legs as she sat on the bed before he caught himself and focused once more on her eyes. "Lorelei, frigid? hardly, pet. She knows exactly how to please me. In ways you've probably never imagined. She's quite uninhibited. And I don't need to hold back when I'm with her either. She's not so easily broken as you are."

Natasha picked up the apron and threw it at him, "I fucking hate you…get out! I don't give a shit about my ledger anymore. I'm sick of you! I can't stand the sight of you! This deal is off! I've put up with enough bullshit for mankind. Living with you for these past few months is more than enough to clear off my ledger! I'm done. If aliens invade, so fucking what. We have Thor, at least! Who knows? Maybe once I'm out of here, he and I will have a little fling just so that I can spite you and find out first hand that your brother really is better than you!"

"You don't tell me what to do!" Loki seethed as he grabbed her arm forcefully, placing the apron into her open hand before pressing her fingers down firmly over it. "You do what I say. You think you can just go? Go back to Shield. I own you and as far as they're concerned your ass is mine. You think they care about you. That they'd help you leave me? You're just a tool and as long as I want you. They are going to give you right back to me. Fury will hand deliver you to me himself. It's time you learned your place."

Natasha glared as she shoved away from him and threw the apron on the ground, "Fuck you! I am leaving. If they try to bring me back, I have no problem going AWOL. I'm sure your brother would frown on you forcing a human into servitude. I know he'd help me!"

She pushed past him and rushed to the house phone and quickly dialed the SHIELD extraction line. It was the number every agent knew by heart.

"Romanoff, Natasha. Agent Code 0675. Trace and pick up. I repeat, trace and pick up."

Loki ripped the phone out of her hand, taring it from the wall as he threw it across the room. "You don't think Asgard has slaves? You don't know our kind very well do you? Thor is a man of his word. You gave yours and that is the way he would see it. Eh heh heh heh, a man of honor and all that. You're not leaving here so I'd pick up that apron if I were you. In fact, just so you know. I've placed an enchantment around this mansion. Just try and get through a door or window and see what happens. It's quite a neat trick designed just for you. The only thing you've accomplished today is that I'm getting rid of the phones, little spider. Now get to work."

Natasha lowered her head slightly and glared at him from beneath her brow as she took a slow step back. She could provoke him into beating the hell out of her…and either she'd die, or get taken to a hospital. Either way, there was an escape at the end of it.

The serum gave her more strength. Not enough to match him…but enough to cause a little bit of damage…and she'd been training harder than she ever had in her life thanks to all the down time he'd given her.

"You remember that time you asked if I was a match for you?" Suddenly, she hauled off and laid a hard, round house kick to his chest, forcing him back into a wall. She smirked, "Let's dance…"

"Nice try… but you piddling mortal I don't need to fight you," Loki smirked and with a flick of his fingers a rush of air knocked her across the room and slammed her into the opposing wall. "Perhaps you need to be tied up again? Is that how you want to spend your time? I aim to please, little spider."

Natasha quickly got to her feet and took a breath before slowly moving toward him with her fists clenched at her side, "You're gonna die screaming…and if the universe has any justice in it…I'll be there to watch."

"Is that what you think? Is that what you dream about at night? You are going to be waiting a long time, pet. There's not many things more powerful than me and even less of them can match wits with me," Loki smiled as he stepped toward her. "Now put on your apron, darling, I want to see how it fits. I want you to model it for me. And you're going to do what I want, little spider."

"You'll have to put it on my dead body…cause that's the only way I'm going to put this fucking thing on", she snapped, glaring up at him. Natasha would have killed him right there if she had the chance. She'd killed tons of people in her lifetime, yet she'd never wanted to cause more physical pain to anyone than she wanted to Loki at that precise moment. "I'm not going to do what you want. As far as I'm concerned, our deal is over. You can place whatever fucking enchantments you want on this place, I'll sit my ass in that room and ignore you while you scream like a fucking child."

She knew what she could say to set him off…it was a risk, but at this point, she could care less.

"You and I both know that the reason you enjoy holding power over me is because you know that, underneath that polished exterior, you're nothing but a savage monster…and that fact has never been more apparent than it is when I see how you treat me."

With a flick of his wrist the apron appeared tied neatly around her waist as the young god smirked. "Well, look at that.. and you're not dead." The door of her room slamming shut and locking with the barest thought from his mind as his emerald gazed narrowed. "I'm a savage monster… and you're a whiny little brat. How many have you killed in your life, mmmh? Far more than me but you have the audacity to look down on me. Oh, poor little black widow, so distraught over all the wrongs she's done. She'd gladly have sex with this so called monster to clear her ledger but cleaning a house is much too far beneath her."

"Oh really?….you killed over 80 people in two days…I wonder how many you killed of your own kind before Thor was able to destroy the BiFrost…"

Natasha snatched the apron off as soon as she was locked into the room. That night, she tried to escape by climbing through the window, but he was right. The enchantment shocked her.

There was no way she was going to willingly clean his house willingly. Let him cast all the spells in the world.

Loki brought himself into her room magically. He had locked her inside for the past five days, conjuring bowls of fruits and pitchers of water for her from the outside which he could now see that she had barely eaten. He leaned against the dresser, his fingers lazily roaming along an untouched apple as she exited the bathroom.

"Changed your mind yet, pet?" Loki mused without looking up.

Natasha, who had just gotten out of the shower, roamed into her room naked and wet, unaware of his presence. She cursed as she snatched the towel that was wrapped around her wet hair down to cover her body.

"Shit! Loki! Fuck!" she said, gasping as she held the towel to the front of her body.

Once she caught her breath, she looked at him and glared, "No. I haven't. Thanks for checking in though. Bye."

"Bye?" Loki drawled as his dark green eyes gazed wantonly over her exposed flesh. It had been a long time since he had seen her so scantily clothed. "You still don't get it yet, little spider, you don't tell me what to do."

Natasha rolled her eyes and moved toward the dresser. The towel wasn't closed in the back, so she had to side step to prevent him from seeing her fully naked backside as she bent over to retrieve clothing.

"What if I ask politely?" she drawled sarcastically.

"We tried that already and you were full of shit. I don't make the same mistake twice, pet," Loki bit off irritably. "I'll go when I feel like it and not a minute before."

"Wow. Your definition of the word 'nice' is really skewed. You're a spoiled prince used to getting—-would you mind turning around so that I can get dressed? Please?"

"Says the spoiled little brat standing in front of me," Loki smirked. "No… I'm not turning around, pet."

Natasha glared, staring directly in his face. "Fine", she hissed as she dropped the towel and yanked out a pair of shorts and a tee shirt.

Loki watched her unabashedly as she preceded to dress in front of him. His dark green eyes scrutinizing her every curve. She was beautiful. He could never deny that. "So you want to continue to stay locked away, little spider? I must say. I do find it funny that you were fine sleeping with me when you hate me but that you have such an issue with cleaning. Is it so much better being a concubine in your eyes than a maid?"

Natasha glared, "I would have absolutely no problem cleaning…if that's what this was all about. It's not. You didn't have to fire your maid. You could use your magic to clean this entire house in a few minutes. It's the reasoning behind it. It's the fact that you, once again, think it necessary to remind me just how beneath you I am. Again…you want to reiterate your dominance. You want to reassert the fact that you own me. You are trying to humiliate me and remind me of how little I mean to you while you parade around with that bitch on your arm, flaunting her in front of my face…"

Natasha lowered her head and laughed. At this point, she was still topless, but that fact went ignored by her as she held her bra and spoke to him, "I've expressed…no, I have unabashedly, openly demonstrated my jealousy when it comes to you and other women before. I threw one out…remember? I looked you in your fucking eyes and told you I wanted you…but Barton comes, and you throw his ass against a piece of furniture and I express polite concern for him…and you IMMEDIATELY go back to treating me like shit. As if that night or the days that followed meant nothing to you. All because you saw some…look in my eyes."

She rolled her eyes and sighed, "I'm done. Take that how you may. The human body can survive for a couple of weeks without food. Without water for two days. My metabolism is faster, so maybe it'll be quicker for me."

"You wouldn't tell Barton that would you? That you wanted to be here with me. You told him fine that you were fine… Like you're taking one for the team," Loki bit off angrily at her continued insistence that he meant anything to her. "I'm tired of you pretending that you ever cared for me. So you like to fuck me and you don't like the idea of another woman doing the same." The young god stalked toward her until he was looming over her, his dark green eyes boring into her own. "I will force feed you and hook you up to an iv before I ever let you die. So you can get that idea right out of your head, pet."

"He won't let me die…" She thought as she stared up at him.

"Tell me Loki…you won't let me die because you want to continue to assume control over me, or do you actually give a shit?!"

He licked his lips subconsciously as his eyes couldn't help falling momentarily to her bared breasts before he raised them back to meet her own. "I learned my lesson," Loki stated softly. He wasn't about to tell her that he cared if she died when it was her greatest wish to be there to watch his death. "I'm not talking about those things anymore. But you are going to drink some of that water right now." The young god glanced back at the dresser where the bowls of fruit and pitchers were sitting. Nothing looked touched but the spell he cast replaced the old with the new. She could have eaten everything the day before, he had no real way of knowing. Had she seriously not been drinking or eating these last few days or was she just trying to manipulate him? "If you ever want a moment to yourself, little spider, you are going to have a nice tall glass of water and a few pieces of fruit or I'll sit here with you all day. Wouldn't that be fun, pet?"

"Yeah…I learned my lesson too" she muttered as she put her bra and shirt on. Natasha plopped down on the bed and turned on the television, "That actually sounds perfect. You can see how it feels to be locked in a room for hours. See how much you like it…"

The Black Widow was determined. In five days, she'd managed to avoid eating and only took a few sips of water. Her lack of food and water was only apparent in the soft tremble in her frame as she sat on the bed, reading.

Some time during the course of their stale mate, Natasha got up to use the bathroom. She swayed a bit, but caught her balance and played off her unsteady gait by kicking some shoes out of the way as if she'd tripped over them.

When she got into the bathroom, however, she braced the sides of the counter before crumbling to the floor, smacking her head hard against the toilet and causing a bleeding wound.

Loki didn't like the way she swayed on her way into the bathroom as he looked up from the book he was reading. The woman was beyond stubborn. And he was very close to getting a doctor to put an iv in her arm and be done with it. If he saw her stumble once more he was going to do just that. A loud thud came from the bathroom. He pushed through the door when she didn't answer and found lying on the floor with a small gash on her forehead.

"Natalia? Natalia?" Loki entreated as he picked her up and laid on her bed. It was just a small cut but she obviously was dehydrated and he was through playing games with her. He put in a call to Shield as he tended to her wound and had them send a doctor. Although he didn't tell them the extent of what for. When she awoke in her bed she was fitted with an IV of nutrients and a small bandage on her forehead as he sat at her side.

"Look who decided to wake up." Loki remarked as he gazed down in her dark blue eyes. He had never been more grateful to see her annoyed stare.

Natasha stared at him for a while and glanced at the IV before closing her eyes and rolling onto her side. She'd fought all she could and didn't have the desire to fight anymore.

"You got your way. Congratulations. Once again. You've proven you own me."

"I usually do get my way… almost," Loki mused as he watched her roll onto her side so that she was facing away from him. He ran his fingers for a moment through the long cascading curls that fell along her back. "Now that you're up I'll send the nurse in to sit with you, pet. I'm sure you would prefer her company to mine."

Natasha turned her head to say something to him, but thought better of it before turning back away from him and sighing softly. A few hours after, she would hear Lorelei laughing…likely over a dinner he'd conjured or had the chef make for them.

She yanked the IV out of her arm herself the next day after e nurse left, then helped herself to a large glass of water and a bowl of fruit. There was no point in her hunger strike anymore.

Natasha showered and changed the bandage on her head as she heard the laughter die down upstairs. Loki was likely taking Lorelei to his bed now…the thought sickened her despite her disdain for him.

Her emotions involving Loki had to be the most confusing thing she'd ever experienced. One second, she felt like murdering him with her bare hands. The next, she was angry that he wasn't bedding her. Natasha was frustrated by it all…

Loki used his magic to bring himself into her room. His dark green eyes narrowing for a moment at the sight of the IV hanging along its stand. "What do you think you're doing taking that out?" Loki inquired with concern evident in his voice until he noticed that she had an apple in her hand. "Oh… well, you still shouldn't have taken that out yourself, pet. That's why I hired a nurse."

"As many times as I've woken up in a hospital…I've done that a million times…" she murmured, taking another bite of the apple as she sat on the bed and ran a hand through her wet hair. Natasha favored him with a sideways glance, "I thought you'd be with her."

She had tried to keep her voice even, but couldn't help the resentment that crept into her tone at the thought of Lorelei.

"The nurse had left for the evening and I wanted to check on you," Loki stated simply. "I'm glad to see you eating, little spider. You should make sure that you drink a lot, too." He moved toward her window, moving the curtain to gaze out at the starlit sky. "Would you like some juice or something… you should have a lot of liquids."

Natasha was taken aback slightly by his concern, so she stuttered slightly, "Um…I…the water is fine. Th-thank you…"

She ran a hand through her hair and watched him for a few moments, "I'm fine…really. I don't…I know you don't want to have to babysit me. I'm eating now. And drinking…"

"I'm not babysitting.. I just…" Loki took a slight breath as he continued to stare up into the night sky. "I was just checking… if you needed anything." He turned back toward her as he watched her brush a loose curl behind her ear. "I can conjure you something else to eat, pet… if you were in the mood for something other than fruit. Perhaps a hot meal?"

Natasha rubbed her head, "I guess I should start slow…some oatmeal would be good. Thank you."

After he conjured a hot bowl of oatmeal, she thanked him politely and slowly took a few spoonfuls of the cereal. She glanced up at him, "Loki, I—-"

Suddenly, there was a rapid knock at the door before Lorelei swung it open, "Oh. Loki. There you are. Tending to your temperamental little pet."

Loki narrowed his eyes as Lorelei entered the room. "What did you come down here for? What is it you want?"

"I was bored… you know how easily bored I am, Loki," the goddess crooned as she moved toward him and placed her hands against his chest. "You promised me some mischief."

"And you know how I don't like to be disturbed, my dear," Loki remarked stoically. "Go upstairs and wait for me."

Lorelei lips pursed for a moment before her smile returned. She was always a temperamental woman but he wasn't going to placate her moods. He didn't suffer anyone to try and make him do what they wanted.

"Very well, love," She conceded as she kissed him, her hands moving up to his neck as she combed her fingers along his long black hair. "But it will be worth your while if you hurry." She winked as she sauntered out of the room and shut the door.

Natasha set the bowl of oatmeal aside and motioned toward the door, "Well…don't let me keep you from causing mischief…or letting her make it worth your while…"

The red head had bristled substantially. She called him "love"…and he called her "my dear". The most he ever called Natasha was "pet"…and that was if he was being nice. Natasha hated that he wouldn't see her as worthy enough to have those stupid damn pet names…

"I'm fine. You can go."

"Haven't you learned yet, little spider, I do what I want." Loki drawled endearing her with the slightest of smiles. "It was a very foolish thing you did especially for someone as strong and intelligent as you. Let us forget the whole maid issue… I was angry and hurt and well let's just forget it… when you are feeling well you may return to your normal routine the way you use to… you have no duties to concern yourself with, little spider." The young god brushed his fingers through his hair as he paced the room slightly before stopping and directed his gaze at her once more. "The spell around the mansion still stands so there is no sense in you trying to leave, pet. But you don't have to stay in this room. I know you liked to cook and the gym and… everything."

Natasha nodded slowly and cleared her throat, "I've missed being able to get out of this room…"

Days passed, and Natasha did return to working out in the gym and cooking, but she hated coming face to face with Lorelei on a daily basis. It put her in a bad mood.

Despite how many times she ran into Lorelei, she rarely ended up alone in the same room as Loki. It was odd…because she kind of missed him.

She was in the middle of bending over to check on her cheesecake in the oven when she felt the presence of another in the kitchen with her.

Loki entered the kitchen, stopping short as his eyes fell on the enticing view that he had of her sexy bottom as she maneuvered her body in front of the oven. "Whatever you're making it smells delicious, pet."

Natasha stood up slowly and dropped the oven mitt into the counter before turning to face him, "Thank you…it's Oreo cheesecake. My first try…I hope it turns out ok."

She looked around, expecting Lorelei to be close by, as she usually was.

"Where's your strawberry blonde shadow?"

"Eh heh heh heh, she is visiting with her sister," Loki revealed as his eyes continued to roam her body appreciatively. "It is just us at the moment, pet… and the servants, of course. Can I have a taste?" His dark green eyes glittering mischievously. "When it's finished."

Natasha sighed and brushed a red curl out of her face, "Well, that's the issue with cheesecake…even after it comes out of the oven, it has to sit in the fridge for a few hours."

She noticed the way he looked at her and wasn't sure if she was ready to comply with him after he'd been screwing Lorelei regularly for the past several weeks. She hated that she was his second choice.

"Perhaps when it's finished you will save me a slice, little spider," Loki mused before moving toward the counter and picking up an apple from the fruit bowl that rested in the corner. He turned back around, leaning against the counter's edge while he tossed the apple back and forth in his hands. "It has been a long time since I've had anything that you made."

Natasha nodded and started cleaning up the mess she'd made in the kitchen. She moved the dishes to the counter and started washing them, "Yeah. I haven't been able to cook in a while…"

She glanced behind her to eye him. He was still staring at her…

"Yes… I know… well, I'm sure it will turn out delicious." Loki sighed before taking a bite of his apple and moving to leave the kitchen. "I'll get out of your way, pet." He moved into the living room, settling onto the couch as he continued to eat the fruit in his hand. He conjured a spell book, letting it float in the air in front of him as he flipped through the pages magically. But his mind wasn't really in it as his gaze kept finding its way back toward the kitchen where he could still see her as she continued to wash the last of the dishes.

Natasha finished drying the dishes and moved toward the exit of the kitchen. As soon as she did, her eyes connected with his.

She held her hand up as if to wave before she slowly made her way toward the basement door.

A half an hour later, Loki descended down the basement steps as he headed toward the gym. He simply wanted to practice throwing his daggers. He had come across a new spell and was planning on testing it out in conjuring his weapons. That was the only reason he was coming this way. It wasn't in the hope of seeing her. At least that was what he kept telling himself as he moved through the hall and entered the gym. But the truth was he was more than a little pleased to find her riding the stationary bike as he entered the room.

Natasha straightened when he entered the room and cleared her throat. She slowed her workout slightly before awkwardly muttering a polite "hello".

She watched him start throwing daggers and turned her eyes back to the television mounted in the corner of the room, desperately trying not allow his presence to affect her.

After about a half hour, Natasha got off bike, but her only path to the exit was in front of him, so she stood off to the side, waiting for him to finish throwing.

Loki caught sight of her standing in his peripheral vision as he was about to throw another dagger. He stopped mid-motion as he let the blade dissipate from his palm, his dark green eyes gazing in her direction. "Are you going to check on your cake, pet?" He had been secretly hoping to see her on his way down here but it always felt so awkward when he was in her presence.

Natasha nodded, "Yeah…" She started to head past him, but smirked as she called over her shoulder, "I guess I could let you get a taste while it's still hot…"

She moved up to the kitchen me put on an oven mitt to take the cheesecake out of the oven and set it on the stove. She nodded approvingly at the sight of it.

Loki watched her walk from the room, for a moment he thought she was flirting with him. He waited a few minutes before he returned to the kitchen. He sauntered toward where she was standing, stopping a few inches away as he stood behind her. "So what's the verdict, little spider?"

Natasha nodded as she looked down at the cheesecake with a smile before glancing at him behind her, "Looks good…I'm going to cover the top with homemade whipped cream when it cools so…" She dipped a spoon into the center and pulled out a small spoonful before turning around to offer it to him, "…this little bit won't be missed…"

Loki licked his lips subconsciously before leaning in and taking the spoon in his mouth as she continued to hold the handle. His dark green eyes gazing intently into her own as he swallowed the tasty morsel. "Very yummy, little spider."

Natasha's heart skipped a beat as she stared into his eyes for a few moments before clearing her throat and looking back at the cheesecake, "I'm glad you like it…it's uh…my first try, so…yeah. Wasn't sure how it would turn out. I'm gonna go take a shower…so…yeah. Bye."

She was flustered and couldn't figure out why. She rushed downstairs and drew a bath before climbing in. Some time during her soak in the tub, she began touching herself. As the pleasure began to build, she was surprised that Loki's name fell from her lips. Natasha halted her movements and sat up in the tub, unnerved by what she'd done.

Loki watched as she was rushed out of the kitchen. He exhaled slowly and shook his head. He wasn't sure why he couldn't stop thinking about her. She didn't want him. Why was that so hard for him to accept. He was annoyed with himself. He had been following her around all day like a lost puppy. He retreated up to his room and decided to retire early.


	6. Chapter 6

That night, a storm raged outside. The power went out in the house, prompting Natasha to venture up to his bedroom to see if he had any flashlights.

After a soft knock on the door, she pushed it open to find him asleep on the bed. She silently approached before staring down at him. Slowly, she reached to tenderly brush a lock of hair from his face.

Loki flinched awake at the feel of something touching him. He was still half-asleep as his hand quickly grabbed the culprit. His dark green eyes looked up angrily, his expression changing in an instant as he saw who it was. "Natalia?" Perhaps, he was still asleep. There was no way she would go anywhere near his room, he mused to himself as he stared up at her bewildered.

Natasha immediately began stuttering apologies, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to wake you. I…was just…the storm is getting bad and the power went out. I don't have flashlights…I…"

Her voice trailed off when she realized he still held her wrist tight.

"A flashlight? You came all the way up here for a flashlight, pet?" Loki puzzled before he began to laugh. "Eh heh heh heh… I'm sorry… I think I'm still half asleep." He realized that he was still holding onto her and he released her wrist quickly before conjuring her a flash light. "I wasn't laughing at you I was just… for a second when I first saw you I thought that you… I was laughing at myself, pet. Enjoy your flashlight, little spider."

Natasha thanked him before she started to leave, but she stopped herself and walked over to stand beside the bed, "Loki…why are you keeping me? You…don't seem to need me…since you have her…"

"I already told you the answer to that, Natalia, if you remember," Loki revealed in his sultry accent. His emerald gaze staring up at her longingly. "Lots of things have happened since that night but my reasons haven't changed." He knew she didn't want to be here. He knew she could never really care for him. Yet, he couldn't stop wanting her. He couldn't stop yearning for her to want him in the same way as futile as it was.

Natasha sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed beside him. She remained silent as she stared at the way the rain hit the window for a few moments before moving her gaze to his, "This entire situation is very confusing for me. I'm going to be honest with you…candid, I guess…" The Black Widow let out a breath and looked at him, "I know, on Asgard, slavery still exists. You were a prince…and in a feudal society, certain behaviors are the norm. You're used to people doing as you command and being punished for not doing so. We have an expression here. You catch more flies with honey…meaning, being nicer yields better results. If you hadn't asked for me…maybe if you started working with us, and started being nice to me, respecting me from the beginning instead of treating me like a piece of meat and delighting in owning me and humiliating me…then, after a bit, you would have known what it was like to have me want you back from the very beginning…I always found you attractive, Loki…"

She ran a hand through her hair and sighed, "I don't know…I feel like you've done your fair share of mean things to me…and I don't know the real you. I don't know if you have the capacity to care about anyone. I don't know your favorite food. I don't know what you want for your future….I only know the tyrant who took me even when I wasn't necessarily willing. The jealous, womanizing god…"

"I'm fairly set in my ways… but I'm not going to try and compel you to let me have you. You don't have to worry about that anymore." Loki advised sincerely as he watched her thoughtfully. "You are safe from my advances, little spider. I realize that I had unrealistic expectations and I shouldn't have taken it out on you just because you don't feel the way I want you to. If I'm being brutally honest.. I don't blame you… there's not much about me that really inspires that sort of feeling."

Natasha stared down at him for a moment before whispering, "Well…if you don't like the results of those…ways…perhaps you should think about trying to change them in an effort to get what you want. I think you're fiercely independent, but only because you have to be. You seem to…purposely push people away. People who you might actually have the potential to genuinely care about…simply because you are afraid of them abandoning you or letting you down. And after all that pushing is done, you fall back on the excuse of 'well, this is who I am and I know I'm awful'. There's no such thing as 'set in your ways', Loki. I've been made and unmade and remade more times than I can count…people…and gods, have the ability to change if they really want to. If they can let go of the fear, the uncertainty and the anger…they can."

"That's something I admire in you… you are very strong, Natalia." Loki divulged as he gazed up into her deep blue eyes. "I cannot think of one time that trusting someone has worked out in my favor. When you give someone the ability to hurt you they usually do."

Natasha nodded, "I guess I could agree with you there. I've been burned a million times in my past. I…well, I don't want to say his name, because it tends to set you on fire…but I always kept him at arm's length. I have to keep everyone at arm's length because I don't trust anyone. I've gone through a lot. Maybe even more than you…despite the length of your life."

Loki stiffened at the allusion to the archer. "You care for him greatly … it is easy to see that and he certainly knows it." He could feel the slight ache in his chest as his disappointment began to bubble back up. She would never think of him that way no matter what he did or how he changed. "I had a fairly happy childhood, I didn't endure the sufferings that you did by any means. My hardships were of the emotional variety not physical but painful nonetheless. I can concede, little spider, you have been through more in your young life and have come out of it far better than I."

Natasha noticed the tension in his frame at the mention of Clint. She glanced toward the window to watch the rain yet again, "Well, not better. You should have seen me ten years ago…I was a monster. I killed without thought or hesitation. It's not like I'm a saint, but I did end up making a different choice at some point. I knew I'd never have any good in my life until I figured out how to undo some of the wrong I did. I started to believe that, if I could survive here, I could revisit my dreams and start wanting all of the things I never dared to even think of before…"

"Is that why you really came up here?" Loki inquired as he watched her gaze out the window. "You wanted to ask for your freedom?" Her sudden desire to talk to him suddenly began to make more sense.

Natasha furrowed her eyebrows in genuine confusion, then stood and threw her hands up.

"I'm not stupid, Loki…god. I was sitting here, having a heartfelt-fucking-conversation with you and you automatically assume I have ulterior motives. You just got finished telling me how set in your ways you are…why would I even waste my breath asking you for the impossible?"

"I'm sorry… I'm just surprised you would want to talk to me… especially about your dreams… I apologize, Natalia. We can still talk if you want." Loki entreated softly as his dark green eyes observed her hopefully. He didn't want her to leave.

Natasha, who had started to walk to the door, crossed her arms and stopped before turning around to stare at him. He seemed genuine.

She slowly moved toward the window, "I'll tell you my dreams…if you tell me yours first."

"Dreams? I don't really have any anymore," Loki mused as his gaze followed her to the window. "When I was little I wanted to be King. As I grew I realized that was impossible. There could only be one."

Natasha placed her palms on the glass. She glanced back at him before turning back to stare at the rain. It was silent for several moments before she whispered, "I dreamed of family…I wanted to stop making a living fighting and killing…even if it was for the good guys. I want to be a writer and become a mother."

"I could see you as a mother… You are strong and wise and… you are a lot like Frigga in many ways… You would be a very good mother, little spider," Loki answered honestly.

"You could?" she inquired, her voice indicating her surprise. Natasha smirked, "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me…thanks. I doubt it'll ever happen though."

"I'm sorry… perhaps one day I will be ready to let you leave," Loki contemplated thoughtfully. Things seemed to become more confounding for him by the second. What was the point of him keeping her here when she didn't want to be with him? "I don't let go of things easily."

Natasha nodded, though she held no hope when she spoke, "I…I noticed you have a hard time letting things go…"

She ran a hand through her hair and turned around, "I…I guess I should go."

Natasha started walking out of the room, but she stopped at the door and moved back toward him, "Just to be clear, not every moment was awful. For that short time…when we were actually getting along…it was nice. I woke up looking forward to touching and kissing you…"

"I did, too," Loki admitted as he gazed at her longingly. "It never felt quite that way for me before. I liked being close to you."

Natasha sighed as a soft smile tickled at her features, "I never knew that it was more than sex for you. I mean…you were able to turn it off and start treating me so horribly…as if it didn't mean anything to you. I hated that…hated you for making me give a damn…I still don't understand why or how you justified your treatment of me. I let you in, and…"

She shook her head and cleared her throat, "Goodnight."

"Because I thought you cared for me as crazy as it sounds and then I saw how you really look when you care for someone and I realized I was foolish," Loki blurted out as he rested his head in his hands. "And it hurt and I was angry at myself for believing it in the first place and I was angry at you for making me believe it. But it wasn't really your fault though. I realized that when I found you in the bathroom."

Natasha turned around and looked at him in disbelief, "Well you weren't looking HARD ENOUGH. I'm not going to look at Clint the same way I do you because our story is different, Loki! Yes, I care about him. He's my oldest friend and he's seen me through some dark times. You and I….there's a different story there. There was no friendship…hell, at the beginning, I'm pretty sure we would have killed each other if given the chance, but it evolved, as relationships do. You're a different man than he is…just cause I look at you differently doesn't mean I don't care…"

"Like I said…" Loki replied softly. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. He knew she didn't really care for him not the way he wanted her to. "I realized when you were so sick that I had unrealistic expectations. And it was wrong of me to take it out on you. And I am sorry for pushing you so far. I really am, Natalia."

Natasha sighed as her anger and frustration slowly ebbed. She dragged her toe awkwardly against the carpet before turning around and moving toward the door. She topped and turned her head, speaking just above a whisper, "…you know, if you were listening, you would have caught me telling you that I do care about you. When I told you I wanted to watch you die…I wasn't being serious. I would never want that.."

With those words, she left, slowly moving down the stairs through the dark light with the flashlight he had conjured. Not wanting to go to bed yet, Natasha moved into the library to sit in front of the fire.

"I'm not following you, pet," Loki quipped with a faint smile as he entered the library. "I couldn't fall back to sleep and I normally come here when my mind is restless."

Natasha laughed softly and shook her head, "It's ok…I guess your mind being restless is my fault. I know it's easier to not care…"

Loki sat down next to her in front of the fireplace, admiring the soft glow of the firelight against her skin. "It's much harder pretending that you don't care, pet," he smiled wistfully as he tucked a loose curl behind her ear. He pulled his hand away quickly as he turned his gaze back toward the flames. "It's quite a lot of work. Eh heh heh heh and you don't get much out of it."

"Neither one of us do…" she murmured as she stared at the fire. Natasha looked at him and sighed, "I think things could have been different between us if we…I don't know…"

"Eh heh heh heh, I don't know, either, little spider. I guess that's why I couldn't sleep." Loki mused, his dark green eyes sparkling in the firelight. "I can't seem to stop thinking… which isn't always a good thing. I think my happiest memories have always been when I was too caught up in the moment to think."

Natasha chuckled and nodded in agreement, "Like that night we played cards…that was a good moment to be caught in…"

"Yes, little spider, just like that," Loki grinned brightly as his dimples deepened. "That is one of my favorite memories. It was the first time you ever kissed me… I'll never forget it."

Natasha blushed slightly and nodded as she looked down at the rug beneath them. Slowly, she raised her eyes to his and gently cupped his face before leaning in to softly kiss his lips, "I hope this memory is as good as your first…"

Loki closed his eyes at the feel of her lips and the touch of her hands, kissing her back with bittersweet fervor as he enclosed his arms around her. It felt like an eternity since they had been this close. "I missed you, my little spider…. I missed this." he breathed between kisses.

"I missed you too" she breathed against his lips as his mouth drowned out her soft words. Natasha ran her hands through his hair as she pulled him against her as she lay on the carpet in front of the fire.

She had missed his touch. She whimpered his name as she felt his lips travel down toward her neck, "Loki…yes…more…please…"

His lips moved along her satin smooth skin, kissing and suckling a path down her neck to her shoulder as his fingers tugged at the spaghetti strap of her gown, letting it fall across her arm. His other hand caressing her thigh over the silky fabric. "I want you so badly, Natalia. I've missed you so much."

"Make love to me…Loki…" she gently enclosed his face in her hands. Natasha pulled him up so that their eyes were level with each other's. She whispered softly, "When we were talking about dreams before…I think you could make mine come true…I can see it in your eyes…"

"I want to make love to you." Loki revealed, his body trembling with desire as his hands took hold of the hem of her gown. "I want to kiss every inch of your body," he breathed huskily as he began to slowly glide the garment upward. "I want to show you how much you mean to me, Natalia."

Natasha kissed him greedily, whispering between panted breaths as she nodded, "Yes…Yes, Loki…please…show me how much. I need to know how you feel…I need to know what you want. Make love to me…"

Loki pulled the fabric over her head, his breath quickening at the mere thought of having her again. Taking his time as he reacquainted himself with every inch of her body, every luscious curve. Moaning in ecstasy as their naked bodies touched, her soft breasts pressed against his chest, the tip of him brushing her seductively as his dark green eyes gazed tenderly into hers. "The feeling inside me when I'm with you I've never felt for anyone else," the young god purred as he slowly sank inside her.

Natasha arched against him as her hands reverently roamed over his body. He felt so good inside of her…now, more so than ever before. He filled her and completed her so perfectly. She didn't care how right or wrong being with him was…she needed him.

She moaned softly as she pulled his lips against hers for a sensual kiss, "All of you…give me all of you, Loki…I want you to show me how much you need me…show me I mean more to you than any other…"

Loki withdrew and slid into her again, his hips driving into her repeatedly. His mind, body and heart consumed by the feel of her around him. Her hands and lips on his skin, her body joined perfectly to his, nothing else existed. He could feel her body begin to shudder as she started to reach her peak. The sounds of her pleasure thrilled him. "So perfect… Natalia… you feel so good."

"Harder" she whimpered. "More…more, please…"

Natasha bucked her hips, signaling that she wanted to get on top of him. When they shifted, she braced herself on his pecs and began sensually rolling her hips in tortuously delicious circles…back and forth. Slowly, the speed and intensity of her pace increased until she threw her head back and pleasure began to overwhelm her.

"Oh god! Loki!" she cried in sheer ecstasy, her movements becoming erratic.

As her orgasm spun down, his exploded. His hands tightening on her hips as he thrust upward. His entire body shuddered and convulsed as he lost control. "Valhalla, oh Natalia… my beautiful little spider… " His breath emerging in gasps as he leaned up and captured her lips in a sensuous kiss.

Natasha lay against his chest beside the fire, softly smiling as she stroked his chest. She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips as she rested her chin against his chest, staring up into his intense, green gaze.

They held each other for almost an hour before he transferred them to the bed. She woke up early the next morning and went downstairs to make blueberry pancakes before returning with a tray of food, "Wake up sleepy head…I know I didn't wear you out that badly…"

Natasha set the tray on the bed and kissed his neck, "Breakfast in bed."

"Eh heh heh heh, I think this is a first," Loki grinned as he felt her lips against his skin. "You woke up before me, pet." He stretched lazily, leaning up to kiss her softly. His dark green eyes gazing at the tray of food. "Mmmmh… smells good, my little spider.. You're spoiling me."

Natasha laughed and smiled a little bit, "I have to say, these pancakes are amazing…"

She sat down beside him and drizzled blueberry syrup over them before spooning fresh whipped cream on it before cutting a triangle and feeding it to him. She took a bite herself, "I love blueberries…"

"Delicious," He smiled nibbling along her neck between bites. "And the pancakes aren't bad either, eh heh heh heh" Loki jested as he grinned widely. "I could get use to this, my little spider. I'm so happy to have you here with me."

Natasha smiled and turned her head to the side to stare into his eyes, "I'm happy to be here with you, Loki…" She moved the tray off of the bed before climbing onto his lap. A soft giggle escaped her lips, "I want you to take me on a date."

"Where would you like to go, darling?" Loki inquired as he brushed a soft red curl behind her ear. "You name it, my pet, and we'll do it… anything you want, little spider, anything at all."

Natasha smiled and shrugged, "I'm sure they have stuff going on in town. Let's just go into town and find something fun to do…"

A few hours later, Natasha met him at the front door wearing a sun dress and some flip flops. They drove to the quaint beach town and stopped off at an old-fashioned diner.

"We should order traditional diner food. Cheeseburgers, fries, pie, milkshakes…the works", she said as she leaned against him in the booth and looked at the laminated menu.

After dinner they walked along the boardwalk coming across several booths with games to win stuffed animals and other prizes. Loki gazed at a counter with a water gun race to see who could pop the balloon first. "Shall we play?" he grinned mischievously.

"You're on, Loki" she said with a small smirk. Natasha was incredibly competitive, so that, coupled with her firearms experience gave her the competitive advantage.

When she won, she threw her hands in the air and dance around a bit before happily picking out a green bear, "For you."

They strolled to a nearby park where they were showing a movie. It was a romantic evening, and by the end of it, they were making out like a couple of teenagers in the car.

Loki grinned widely as he shut the front door, his dark emerald eyes gazing at the sway of her hips as she walked into the living room. He followed behind her. His new green bear under one arm before he set it down on the recliner chair. "I know the perfect way to end the evening, little spider," the young god beamed as he moved toward the stereo. "Would you like to dance with me, Natalia?"

Natasha slowly placed her hand in his and pressed herself close as they began slowly swaying to the music as she leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"You are full of surprises, Loki…" she murmured as she smiled softly.

"You inspire me, my little spider," Loki whispered huskily as he held her close. "I feel like I'm in Valhalla… ever since you kissed me last night. It's amazing how quickly things can change. I was so certain this couldn't happen. I'm glad I was wrong."

Natasha smiled and nodded, "I'm glad it did as well."

After they made love, they fell asleep in each other's arms. The next morning, Loki was called away on SHIELD business. Natasha sent their butler out with a list of groceries for a special meal she wanted to make for Loki tonight. She was just starting to cut vegetables when Lorelei's voice echoed through the house.

Natasha rolled her eyes and stepped out into the foyer, "Oh. Yay. You're back."

The goddess narrowed her eyes, "You would do well to watch your tone, slave. Where is Loki?"

"Out", said Natasha quickly as she returned to the kitchen to continue chopping up vegetables.

Lorelei slowly sauntered after her and crossed her arms, "So he's reduced you to cooking and cleaning…it's high time you've learned your place."

Natasha tossed the knife in the air briefly before turning around and throwing the knife. It embedded itself within the wall directly beside Lorelei's head, causing her to gasp and glare at the red head before her. Suddenly, the goddess formed a ball of energy in her hand before tossing it at Natasha.

The Black Widow rolled out of the way and grabbed another knife from the butcher's block, "Oooh…kitty likes to scratch…"

Loki walked through the doorway and was greeted by the sound of breaking glass. At first he thought that perhaps she had dropped a plate but then he saw a knife flying through the air as his eyes fell on its intended target. Lorelei was casting several balls of energy that she threw in rapid succession. The young god dissipated them into nothing with a flick of his wrist as he stalked forward angrily.

"What in the name of Hel is going on here?"

Lorelei screeched and pointed an accusing finger at Natasha, "I'm glad you're here, Loki! Punish this slave! She attacked me!"

Natasha nodded, expertly twirling a knife in her hand as she eyed the goddess with steely eyes, "I sure did, and I'm ready to do it again, but that BITCH won't put away the tricks and fight me like a real woman!"

"Why you insolent, petty little mortal! Loki! You dare not let her speak to me in that fashion!"

"Actually it is you who is not going to speak to her in that fashion, Lorelei, not in my presence," Loki stated stoically. "Things have changed since you were here last."

"Oh, so you have resumed relations with your concubine is that it?" the sorceress snipped. "She should still know her place."

Loki stepped in front of Natasha as she stalked forward, knife in hand, at the sound of Lorelei's words. He had no desire to see these two women come to blows.

"I didn't realize you were coming back today, pet. I had planned on going to Asgard to tell you privately but I got called away. I'm sorry, my dear, this is not an ideal way to tell you." the young god stated simply. "But it is what it is."

"Which is what exactly? That you've decided to get involved with your property." Lorelei exasperated as she narrowed her gaze at the black widow.

Natasha glared right back at Lorelei. She hated that woman with a fiery passion and had been ready to inflict grave bodily harm when Loki walked in…

"I don't know what property you're referring to, but yes, he's gotten involved with me. Your services are no longer needed, so if you would kindly leave and never come back, that would be terrific. Thanks. Bye."

Lorelei turned her flashing gaze to Loki's as her fists clenched at her side, "Is this true?"

"You knew this wasn't a permanent arrangement, my dear, it never is," Loki advised as he watched her light green eyes narrow even further.

"Oh I know, the god of mischief so easily bored. You need time to play with your newest trinket," Lorelei snipped irritably as she brushed her strawberry locks back over her shoulder. "Sometimes I wonder why I've put up with you for all these years, love. Normally I would say that I shall see you in a few months but with this one…" Her gaze turning toward Natasha with an evil glare. "I give you a week before you're back in my bed." And with that the sorceress disappeared from the room.

"I think you can put the knives away now, little spider," Loki smiled as he turned his dark green gaze back to Natasha.

Natasha was as tense as ever. The enchantress' words had gotten to her. Loki himself had said that he didn't have to hold back when he was with Lorelei. Maybe the goddess was right. He would grow tired of her weak body and lose interest in her. After all, where was Natasha's appeal? He owned her. He could have her any time he wanted for the foreseeable future.

Natasha rolled her shoulders as she set the knives on the counter. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed, "I need to go a couple of rounds on the boxing bag. She uh…she worked me up pretty good."

She moved out of the room and went downstairs to get changed into her workout clothes before heading into the gym to pummel the boxing bag.

Natasha wondered what the hell Loki saw in her outside of the obvious. Looks weren't enough to keep anyone's interest, let alone a immortal…and despite her "superhuman" physical abilities, she was not a goddess. Loki had said so himself once…

She wasn't special to him. He would get bored…

Loki watched her for a few moments as she threw a series of kicks and jabs at the punching bag with a fierceness that he had never quite seen before. He knew that she didn't like Lorelei but she was gone now. He wasn't sure what it was that had her so upset.

"You have been down here for nearly an hour, pet? Are you alright?" the young god inquired as he moved closer.

Natasha panted as she spoke between punches and kicks, "I'm fine…why shouldn't I be? It's….it's not as though you've told me before that….that she satisfies you more in bed….you don't have to hold back with her….because she's not a delicate human…not like me….it's not like you two don't have a history. It's not like you call each other 'love' and 'dear'…hell, you even call her 'pet' like you call me…it's not like you always end up in her bed again and again after you've gotten bored with your play things!" She suddenly kicked the bag right off its hook, sending it flying across the room.

Natasha panted and leaned over, resting her hands against her knees as she worked to catch her breath. After a short few seconds, she straightened and shook her head, "You'll get bored with me. Like you said before…you never had to hold back with her. You could treat her like an equal because she's a fucking goddess…I can't measure up to that. I'm just your play thing. Yeah…I'm a fiery little bitch, but I'm not a goddess. I just…hearing the names you call each other…it just reminds me that I'm not special to you. There are probably millions of other pets and a handful of other goddesses who you've slept with…I'm no different or any more special than them."

"You're not a plaything, Natalia," Loki soothed as he brushed a loose curl behind her ear. "You are very special to me, my little spider, very special. And I'm not going to get bored. Don't take what she said to heart. I've known her a very long time, pet, that is true. We spend time together on and off, it is has been that way for many years. But she has never made me feel the way I feel when I'm with you. No woman has."


	7. Chapter 7

Natasha stared up at him and sighed, "I'm not very secure. We didn't have the most conventional of beginnings, you know? What's between us is very passionate and tumultuous. It's a fire and it's burning really hot right now, but do you remember what they say about fires that start out extremely hot?"

She shook her head and moved to the bench to plop down, yanking the gloves off and tossing them across the room before she began unwrapping her hands.

"I believe you…I do, but you don't know how you'll feel months or years from now. Hell, you don't know how you'll feel tomorrow. You're a god, Loki. She mentioned how…diverse and ever-changing your tastes are…"

Natasha lowered her head and looked at her hands, "I just don't want to be hurt by you again…I don't want to be set up for a fall. I haven't been in an exclusive relationship since I was married all those years ago, and that ended with a dead husband and a stillbirth. I've shielded myself pretty well since then."

"I don't want to be hurt, either, pet. Nobody does," Loki mused as he watched her thoughtfully. "It's the reason I pushed you away. It wasn't easy to let you in… to take a risk but I'm glad I did. Are you having second thoughts? Do you… do you not want to be with me?"

Natasha quickly shook her head, "No…I do. I do…I just…I'm just warning you, I guess. This is frightening to me. I know it doesn't seem like I scare easily after you just watched me fight a goddess, but when it comes to my emotions…I'm not great at handling them. I don't trust people. I guess I'm trying to verbally wrap myself in yellow tape and advise you to proceed with caution. No matter what you're telling me right now about how much you care and how you won't get bored, there's a voice in my head reminding me that no one can predict the future. It reminds me that the main difference between how you treat me and how you treated her…or any other woman is the fact that, at one point in recent history, you were a cruel master to me. At least those other women had the luxury of being your equal…"

"We are very much alike, little spider. I don't trust people either and handling my emotions is not my strong suit by any means," Loki retorted with a devilish smirk. Did she want him to set her free? Let her go back to Sheild? What if that's what this was? Just a new tactic in her attempts to get away from him for good? "In fact there's quite a lot of thoughts running around in my head at the moment, my pet. And not all of them are good. I don't think you really wish me to treat you the way that I treat Lorelei. I don't think that's the kind of relationship that you want with me. But maybe I'm wrong. I would like to ease your mind if I could. My own mind is not exactly without insecurities. Is there something that you want from me, Natalia?"

Natasha looked up at him and nodded, "Yes..there is…" She paused and took a deep breath, "I want us to agree, right here…right now…that you don't sleep with anyone else. Only me. I don't care how many goddesses appear in your bedroom butt-naked with their tongues hanging out. I don't care how many times you run into Barton or he tries to come here for a visit. Promise me that I'm it…that I'm the only one."

"Eh heh heh heh, the image that you are conjuring there, my pet, is quite interesting," Loki chuckled as he stood before her with a wry smile. "I promise that as long as you are faithful to me that I will be faithful to you, little spider. I promise you that for as long as you are mine and give yourself only to me that I will do the same."

Natasha nodded affirmatively as she stood up from the bench, "Good. Fine. Deal…"

She held her hand out to shake his before walking back to her bedroom and undressing. Natasha climbed into the shower, but felt his eyes on her from the doorway. She laughed as she stepped under the spray, closing her eyes as she began soaping up her body, "May I help you?"

Loki rid himself of his clothes in an instant as he stepped into the shower behind her, taking the bar of soap out of her hand. "I was thinking more of helping you, little spider?" He grinned impishly.

A lazy smile spread across her lips as she felt his hands on her body, but the smile was short lived. Natasha turned around to face him, "Do you really feel like you have to hold back when you're with me?"

"No…," Loki replied simply as he enclosed her face in his hands and brushed his lips tantalizingly against her own. "Stop thinking so much, little spider. Can't you see how desperate I am for you and you know I hate waiting."

Natasha kissed him back, involuntarily moaning as their wet bodies touched beneath the warm spray of the water. Slowly, she relaxed against his touch as the kiss deepened. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she raised a leg around his waist.

Loki lifted her up in the air, slamming her against the shower wall as he impaled her on his straining shaft. A guttural moan escaping his lips at the feel of her warmth surrounding him. "By the nines," he rasped as he began moving hard against her. "I'll never get enough of you, little spider."

A loud, breathy moan left her lips as she tossed her head back in sheer ecstasy. Her nails dug into his shoulders as he began thrusting into her, each movement slowly driving her closer and closer to the blissful edge.

"Yes…oh god…yes…oh god…give it to me…please…don't you dare hold back, baby. I want all of you…every last bit…"

Loki grinned wickedly at the sharp pain of her nails against his shoulders, nipping at her neck to return the favor, his hands tight against her hips while he continued to pound into her with a desperate fervor as they climaxed together. "I love it when you tell me you want me… you have no idea what it does to me, little spider." He kissed her softly before moving his lips along her neck, admiring the marks he had made during their lovemaking. "You are so beautiful, darling, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and not just on the outside, Natalia."

Natasha laughed breathlessly as she returned his soft kisses, moaning in approval as his lips continued to lovingly travel up and down her neck.

The next few weeks were quiet. She enjoyed spending time with him. Sometimes, they would relax in the library with his head in her lap as they read. Other times, he would keep her company as she cooked or sit in the adjoining living room to watch soccer…a Midgardian sport he'd actually grown fond of.

He began to allow her to go for runs along the beach, which she really enjoyed. She loved the fresh air.

They went out on dates to the movies, fancy restaurants, or sometimes to their "place", the little diner they had their first official date in.

About three months into their new relationship, Phil Coulson arrived at their door with a mission concerning extraterrestrial marauders who were wracking up an impressive body count, which led SHIELD to believe that their numbers were larger than initially expected. It was an "all hands on deck" situation.

Phil left Loki with a tablet that had all the intel he would need in preparation for a briefing the following morning. That night, as he sat on the bed with the tablet, Natasha bit her bottom lip and climbed onto the mattress beside him.

"Babe…can I go? Please? They need all of the help they can get."

Loki set the tablet down as he turned toward her. His dark green eyes observing her intently. He knew how badly she wanted to get involved in something more substantial than a new cooking recipe. "Alright, little spider, you can come with me."

Natasha jumped on top of him, pressing frantic kisses over his face, "Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!" She enclosed his face in her hands and smiled, "I know how hard it might be for you to come…and you're doing this only to make me happy…I just want to let you know that it means a lot to me."

She kissed him hungrily, eagerly ripping his clothes off as she covered his body in gentle, reverent kisses. Soon, they were making love, rutting against each other as the animalistic sounds of their sex permeated through the house.

As Natasha hit her peak, she threw her head back and practically screamed, "Oh god! Loki! Loki! I love you!"

Loki lied back on the bed, his breathing warm and erratic from the incredible climax he had just experienced. His dark emerald eyes gazing up at the ceiling for a moment, running his fingers through her hair as she rested her head against his chest. "Did you really mean that? Did I hear you right, pet? I mean understand if you were just sort of caught up in all the excitement of fighting some bad guys. Eh heh heh heh… I know how you miss it, little spider."

Natasha panted softly and looked up into his eyes, "I meant what I said…but I don't think I meant to say it this early. I'm still kind of nervous about getting my heart broken…but it's real."

She moved up his body and softly nuzzled his nose with hers before leaning back a bit to gaze into his dark green orbs, "Can't you tell when I look at you?"

Natasha favored his lips with a long, luscious, drawn-out kiss before whispering, "When I touch you, can't you feel it?"

Her fingers began roaming up and down his form, "You don't have to say it back…I know it's soon…"

"There's nothing in the nine realms that means more to me than you, Natalia," Loki smiled warmly as his hands rested against the small of her back. "I'm nervous, too. I've never felt this way before, little spider… you brought it to me for the first time and… I don't want to lose you."

Natasha smiled and nodded, "You won't…just keep trusting me like I trust you…we'll be ok. I know it."

The next morning, they arrived at SHIELD together. Barton was still on the west coast, so running into him wouldn't be an issue.

Loki entered into the control room at Shield with Natasha at his side. Coulson had not been exaggerating when he said that it would be "all hands on deck" as his dark green eyes fell on his brother in the corner of the room. Iron Man, Captain America and even Dr. Banner were all present and accounted for. It seemed like every eye in the room was trained on the Black Widow.

Loki began to wonder if this was such a good idea. There wasn't a person in this room that liked him. What if being around them reminded her of how she used to see him? He tried to shut off the negative thoughts in his head as he stood there stoically. "Well, what are you waiting for?" Loki remarked coolly as he turned his attention to Fury. "Let's get on with it."

Fury smirked before turning down the lights and activating an interactive presentation that illustrated pictures of their enemies, three dimensional scenes of attack sites and victim's pictures. The attackers looked more animal than human and had never been seen before on earth.

As Fury spoke, Natasha began scribbling notes, diagramming attack sites. They seemed to be looking for something.

The lights came back up as Fury opened up the floor for discussion. Loki smiled as Natasha began discussing theories as to why they were here. He had always admired her intelligence and it was obvious that she had paid very close attention to the director's presentation.

"I know you were the reason that Hawkeye was transferred to the West Coast along with his broken ribs," Stark murmured as he came to stand at his side.

"Your point is?" Loki smirked.

"Watch your back when you're out on the field," Tony snipped. "Cause nobody else will be. We're not a real fan of mercenaries around here. We're a team and you're not one of us."

"Just the way I like it." the young god grinned back.

Natasha shot her teammates a warning glare, "Enough. We're all watching each others backs. If one of you slacks watching his back, I'll have to pick it up and that means I could get hurt. Do you want that on your heads?"

"Serious, Nat?" Tony gaped as he stared at her in disbelief. "You should be the one throwing the biggest party when he gets his."

"Well, she doesn't seem to agree with you, does she?" Loki smirked.

"What did you put some mojo on her?" Tony quipped. "Is that why you brought her here to show off how well trained she is?"

"There are at least four items in this room I can kill you with. Do you want to find out which ones?" she inquired, glaring at Tony.

"Enough. All of you. The world is kind of on the line right now, so if you can set aside this childish drama, we're get back to more important things…like possibly saving six billion people", snapped Fury.

When the battle was over, they returned to the mansion. The mission was considered a success not that it really mattered that much to Loki. He had fulfilled his end of his bargain with Shield and that was the extent of his concerns. He had no real care for the people that he was protecting. It was a simple job for him. Natasha on the other hand was obviously on cloud nine after months of being away from the field.

"I have a feeling that you will not be going to sleep anytime soon," Loki winked as he strutted towards the living room.

Natasha immediately went upstairs to shower. She smirked at him over her shoulder as she unzipped her catsuit and slipped it off of her body, "Get over here.."

After making love in the shower, they moved to the bed for round two. Loki grinned widely as he gazed down at her, his head propped up on his elbow as he twirled a long strawberry curl between his fingers. "I enjoyed seeing you in action today. Very impressive, little spider."

Natasha laughed a little and nodded, "Thanks…it was fun to fight along side you…but I think I'm almost ready to leave that life behind…."

She paused and stared up into his eyes, "In fact, I'm wondering if you might be ready and willing to make some of my dreams come true…you remember what we talked about? When I told you about my dreams?"

"You mean to stop making your living by fighting?" Loki inquired as he continued to move his fingers along her hair. It was so soft and lush, like velvet. He loved the way it felt gliding along his skin. "I'm surprised you are thinking of that now, pet. After watching the way you took charge, I would have thought you would have been raring to go on another."

Natasha smirked, "I've been doing it for so long…decades. I want to do what I told you I wanted to do. I want to take time for myself…work on my book…maybe think about having a family…"

"And what will you write about, little spider?" Loki probed, inclining his head to brush his lips softly along hers. "Have you ideas already? I've always been fond of literature and poetry. I would love to read something that you wrote."

Natasha smiled and shrugged, "You'll see…I have some ideas for a dystopian apocalyptic novel…"

She reached up to stroke his hair, "What about my other dream? Can you help me make that come true?"

"You mean to be a mother?" Loki murmured softly. "You do not want to have a Frost Giant's child, Natalia. It is not a race that needs to be propagated."

Natasha's expression, which had been euphoric, quickly distorted into one of confusion, "What? What do you mean? I don't care about that. Our baby would be ours and loved completely."

"Any child that I sired would be a Frost Giant… a Jotunn like myself and I have no wish to add to their number," Loki revealed as he laid back on the pillows and gazed up at the ceiling above him. The young god never wanted to have children. He despised his race. It was a realm of monsters. "Besides, darling, who knows what such a pregnancy would do to a mortal."

Natasha sat up and furrowed her eyebrows, shaking her head. An expression of confusion was still etched across her face as she spoke, "What? So…that's it? Months ago…it was storming out. I remember. I stood by that window and I shared my dreams with you. I told you that having a family one day was one of my dreams…and you're sitting here, brushing it off, telling me that a dream of mine is not going to happen as casually as you would tell me that it's going to rain tomorrow."

She stood up off of the bed and snatched her robe onto her shoulders, tying it tight as she muttered, "I was such a fucking idiot…"

"What is that supposed to mean? An idiot about what exactly?" Loki inquired as he sat up on the bed. "You are acting like I lied to you or something? I don't recall you saying that your dream was to give birth to my child?"

"Oh COME ON! I'm with you til I die whether I have a choice in it or not! You tell me I mean more to you than anything in all nine realms. I fell in love with you. I shared my hopes and dreams with you…and somehow you're not able to make the correlation between me not being able to ever have a kid and my happiness…it's like you said, 'hm…one of her hopes and dreams is to have a family one day and I don't want that…oh well. I won't be giving her that despite the fact that I'll never allow her to leave me. She'll get over it eventually.' It's like you're stealing a life experience away from me! You—you've killed my dream. You're a dream killer!"

"I told you in the beginning that I didn't want any children," Loki argued as he stood from the bed and pulled on his pajama bottoms. "Back when the idea of being impregnated by me was probably a fate worse than death for you. I'm not trying to kill your dream, pet. Besides, like I said it would probably be unhealthy for you even if I didn't feel the way I do. The Jotunn are as cold as ice who knows what that would do to your body."

"No! You didn't tell me you didn't want any children…you said that you didn't want to give ME any children. And now you're just making excuses! The baby would be half human too, Loki. There's a way they might inherit my body temperature and appearance. Don't try to lean on that for an excuse. There are no guarantees."

Natasha put her hands on her hip and shook her head, "What do you expect me to do? Get over the chance that you've destroyed my shot at having a kid?"

"What are you saying to me exactly? Last night you told me that you loved me. Did I miss the part where it was conditional on the terms that I had to get you pregnant? I'm certain I would have remembered that." Loki retorted sarcastically.

"Don't you dare turn this around on me! You could have told me you never wanted children at all that night instead of callously mentioning it in passing. It means a lot to me! And you could care less! You're being an insensitive bastard!"

Natasha slammed open the room door me started to stomp down the stairs.

"What are you talking about?" Loki exasperated as he followed after her down the stairs. "Why in the name of Hel would I have reiterated to you the fact that I didn't want children while you were telling me about your dreams? You weren't talking about having mine? I didn't think you wanted me at all at the time." He rushed in front of her as they reached the landing, blocking her from walking further away from him. "I wasn't trying to sound callous before… how was I supposed to say it? What is the proper way of saying that I don't want to father any children?" He brushed his fingers through his long ebony locks as he shook his head slightly. "I honestly don't understand why you are so upset with me."

"You don't understand—-are you serious right now? You don't understand why I'm upset with you for single handedly destroying one of the most important dreams I've ever had? You don't understand why I'm upset with you over the fact that, despite knowing how badly I want this dream to come true, you will never allow it to happen for me because you'd never let me go find a man who was willing to make that dream come true for me. You don't care about what I want or my fucking happiness…no wonder you can't tell me you love me. It's because you don't."

Natasha pushed past him and walked down the stairs to the basement, slamming the door behind her.

Loki threw open the door angrily as he followed after her. "You weren't this upset with me when I told you that I would never let you go that night. Explain that to me. You knew than that dream was probably never going to happen and you weren't even annoyed with me? Now you're talking about finding somebody else.. Is it so important that you give birth?"

Natasha turned to glare at him with wet eyes, "I wasn't in love with you then! I'd given up on everything and when I fell for you, I was foolish enough to have hope that I could have those dreams again…"

"Is it important that I give birth? I don't know, Loki…let me answer your question with one of my own. What would you do if…in the middle of a war…against all odds, you found yourself pregnant? You were sure you'd lose the child within the first few months, but as time ticked on, your belly began to grow. As your comrades die and suffer from horrific injuries around you, you find comfort in one thing…in the feeling of soft kicks from within your womb. Then one day, in the middle of a cold Russian winter, that lively precious little baby who you've spent months clinging to for hope is born silent and as cold as the snow…." Tears were streaming down her face now. She clenched her teeth as she took an angry step toward him, "I know how important it is to give birth already…I've just never had the ability to give birth to a live child…which is something I desperately want…"

"I'm sorry, Natalia, I'm sorry you went through that," Loki soothed as he wrapped his arms around her. "And I didn't mean to sound like I didn't care about your dreams. I don't mean to hurt you… I don't want to do that… you do mean everything to me, my little spider."

She was angry at him. Loki knew what she had gone through, yet he refused to acknowledge the importance of her wishes and forced her to relive her most painful memory just to get him to understand. Selfish…callous….

Natasha quickly moved out of his arms, desperately wiping at her eyes as she moved to the opposite end of the room, "I'd like to be alone tonight. I'm sleeping down here. Please do me the one kindness of leaving…you should at least be able to grant me that request…"

"If that's what you want… goodnight, Natalia," Loki replied softly before he dematerialized from the room and returned to his own. He laid down on the mattress with his eyes trained on the ceiling. He doubted he was going to get a second of sleep. He had grown too accustomed to having her next to him. He caught sight of the green Teddy Bear that she had won for him out of the corner of his eye. It was sitting on the dresser. With a flick of his wrist, he wrapped it in air and pulled it to him. Holding it softly in his hands as he recalled how excited she had been to win. The happy look in her eyes when she had picked it out for him. Such a far cry from the way she looked at him a few moments ago.

Natasha stayed in the basement for the next 24 hours. There were no pancakes or eggs benedict as there usually were. There was no lively conversation over the commentary on Good Morning America. The house was silent.

Appropriately enough, the weather was gloomy outside. Natasha stayed in bed for much of the day, cursing herself for being stupid enough to fall in love with him.

Loki cautiously decided to go down into the basement level of the mansion. He hadn't seen her in over a day and a half and it was driving him insane. He missed her terribly and he wasn't a very patient man. He decided he had given her enough space. The young god wasn't the least bit surprised to find her in the gym punching and kicking the gym bag in rapid succession. He had a pretty good idea of who she was picturing in its place.

"Very good form, Natalia," Loki remarked pleasantly attempting to start a conversation. "Especially that roundhouse kick it was quite impressive."

Natasha glanced toward him and murmured a "thanks" as she continued beating the boxing bag. She wasn't ready to talk to him. She wasn't sure if she would be ready to talk to him any time soon. He didn't seem to understand or care enough to understand why this was so important to her…and talking to him about it had already brought up her most painful memory.

"It is a rather dreary day outside,pet," Loki continued hoping to coax her into spending some time with him. "I thought maybe we could play a game of cards or something. Perhaps, you will let me make you lunch, little spider."

"I'm going to write after I finish this", she said quickly, moving to the other side of the room to take off her boxing gloves.

"How about after you've written for a little bit?" Loki entreated as he walked toward her. "I would just really like to spend some time with you, Natalia. I missed you last night and this morning. How long do you intend to stay down here?"

Natasha brushed her hair out of her face, refusing to meet his eyes as she stared straight ahead, "Til I've had enough time to grieve."

"Is it part of your grieving process to make me suffer, pet?" Loki probed as he noted her refusal to even look at him. "I'm sorry that I am unable to give you what you want but it's not like I'm deliberately trying to hurt you, darling." He brushed his fingers through his hair nervously as his dark gaze observed her cold stance. "It is not as if you can never be a mother at all. I mean if you really want to then perhaps one day you could adopt a child."

"Well, you're making me suffer…and let's get something clear. It's not that you're unable to give me what I want. You REFUSE to give me what I want…and don't call it 'what I want' as if it's a purse or a pair of boots. It's a life long dream that I've had for decades and it stems from a horrific experience that you will obviously never be able to understand or truly sympathize with", she snapped as she pushed past him.

Loki grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back forcefully. "I'm not trying to make you suffer, pet. And my reason's for not wanting one comes from my own horrific experiences. It's not that I don't sympathize with you. I'm sorry you lost your child. I'm sorry for all the pain that you went through. I wish there was something I could do to comfort you. Please stop pushing me away, Natalia."

Natasha angrily snatched away from him and pushed him in the chest, "No! Your reasons stem from the fact that you're scared! I should be the one too afraid to have a child! I should be too terrified to ever experience another loss as heart wrenching and painful as that! But my heart is in a different place! You don't want to give me children because you're a selfish coward!"

"I hate the Jotunn and with good reason. They are a race of monsters. I was raised on that fact. It was taught to me from the time I could comprehend my first word and every interaction that I've ever had with the beasts has only more firmly cemented that truth in my mind." Loki divulged irritably as his dark green eyes narrowed in displeasure. "My true nature is a curse and its a curse that I will not pass on to anyone else. That is why I told you all those months ago that you didn't have to worry about me ever giving you a child. We're both selfish. You knew I didn't want them and now you're suddenly angry with me because I didn't change my mind."

"I thought you said that because we hated each other at the time, Loki!" she snapped angrily. Natasha raked her hands through her hair and glared up at him, "With your ability to disguise yourself and the fact that our kid would be half ME…there is a good chance that our child would not even look like a frost giant. You're scared of the possibility…but fine. You got what you want. You always do. I don't matter in the grand scheme of things. After all, I'm just your property", she bit off as she walked into her room to take a shower.

"If I had what I wanted than you wouldn't be angry with me anymore," Loki shouted in an attempt to be heard over the running water. "It's not about whether they look like one or not. It doesn't matter if you can hide it on the outside, pet. I still know what I am. I don't want things to be like this between us. Everything was so nice before, little spider."

Natasha yelled at him over the water as she began washing her hair, "So!? I'm a killer! I may not be one anymore, but I was. What does it matter whether our kid would be half lion or green with purple spots! What matters is that they're loved and raised to be good to others. That's all that matters! You're putting so much emphasis on a race…on something that honestly doesn't matter at all compared to how a kid is actually raised and loved—you know what? I don't even know why we're talking about this anymore! You're set in your ways. You're going to get what you want, and I'm just going to have to suck it up and be disappointed and overwhelmingly let down for the rest of my life. All because of you."

"If I got what I want than you'd be up in our room and not down here in the basement," Loki yelled back. "And you wouldn't be mad at me anymore. I don't want you to be miserable for the rest of your life, little spider. I want you to be happy."

Natasha finished rinsing off and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around her, "You know how to make that happen."

Without another word, she moved past him into the bedroom to get dressed.

"No, I don't… I don't know how to make that happen." Loki divulged as he followed her into the bedroom. "Won't you come back upstairs? I missed you something awful, my little spider. I had to resort to holding a stuff animal all night which I haven't done since I was eight. Please, Natalia, please can't things go back to the way they were?"

"It's not that simple, Loki! You can't just ask nicely and I'll get over it. I'm hurt and it's because of you, whether you meant to hurt me or not doesn't matter. I look at you, and right now, the only thing I can see is the selfish man who has single-handedly destroyed one of my life's biggest dreams. I am hurting. Can't you understand that? It doesn't matter than you wish I wasn't hurting. What matters is that I am…and it's your fault. Period."

"If you really want to then you can adopt a baby. I'm not stopping you from doing that. Your dream of being a mother doesn't have to be over," Loki entreated. "It's not my fault that our dreams are not the same. I never lied to you. I've never pretended to be something I'm not. I never acted like someday I'd want to have kids. It's not really my fault if you thought that I would. I understand that you're disappointed and I'm sorry that you are but I have my reasons. I can't change how I feel. It was the worst moment of my life finding out the truth. You make it sound like I'm deliberately hurting you. Is that really all you see when you look at me?"

"If I were to adopt, I'd have to fake everything about myself. Adopting a baby isn't like buying a puppy. They have extensive background checks…which I could forge and hack with no problem, but there's something innately wrong about that. It's like I'm only able to have that kid because I lied about everything I am. It just doesn't settle well with me…" she said as she crossed her arms and sat down on the bed.

"I know what I'm going to do…" she said softly as an idea suddenly dawned on her. "I'll get artificially inseminated."

"Absolutely not… you're not having another man's baby," Loki commanded as his eyes narrowed in irritation.

"Wow. Wow. That's…that's priceless. I can be a mother, but it has to be on YOUR terms. I can't have your baby. I can't have any man's baby. Don't you realize how selfish and controlling you're being?! And you wonder why things can't go back to the way they were…you know what, I'm not coming back upstairs any time soon, so you can just go."

"I can take you to Vanaheim or Asgard to adopt a baby, if there is an issue here. You wouldn't have to lie about anything there. In fact, Frigga could locate a child in need very easily, I'm sure." Loki continued ignoring her request for him to leave. His brow furrowed as he gazed at her curiously. "I'm the same as I always was. In fact, the very night that you kissed me and told me to make love to you. I recall very clearly how I told you that I was set in my ways and I would probably never let you go so that you could be a mother, little spider. Yet, you still wanted to be with me.

"You will never understand! I want to know what it's like! I want to know what it's like to…" she lowered her head as tears began to form in her eyes. She hated how emotional this subject made her.

"I want to know what it's like to…to go through a pregnancy…the morning sickness, the movement, the exhaustion, the back aches…then know what its like to have all of that hard work be for something in the end…I want to go through that and give birth to a live baby…to have all of the pain and discomfort be to hear that cry…that first, soft, breathless, keening cry…"

Natasha turned her flashing eyes to him as she angrily wiped the tears away, "You wouldn't understand. By the sounds of it, you don't want to understand. Would you please just leave me alone. You just…you're not interested in making me happy. You want to dictate how this happens for me. You don't care…"

"That's not true… I want very much to make you happy. Natalia, even if I were willing there is nothing that guarantees you that outcome. And Jotunn and human's were not meant to procreate. The chances of there being issues are very high. My gene's would be dominate, obviously, and who knows what that would do to you." Loki entreated as he watched her wipe a tear from her eyes. "Why don't we just put this whole talk aside for awhile? And do something fun together? Let me make you happy… or I could just sit here and hold you… I know I'm not perfect but I do … care for you very much. Please, Natalia, don't push me away."


	8. Chapter 8

"I really need some time alone, Loki. I need space right now. I don't…I don't think you can make me happy right now. Frankly, I don't really want you near me right now. You are who you are, and I need time to get used to what that means for me since you obviously aren't going to let me go and you won't let me have an artificial insemination. It's all got to be on your terms. All you…what you want….please leave me alone."

"You said you wanted to be with me knowing all of this already and now suddenly you are taking it out on me. That's not really fair," Loki remarked solemnly. His dark emerald eyes staring down at her dejectedly. "So are you saying you don't want to be with me anymore? You want to go back to the way things used to be. This is your room and I stay away from you. Is that what you want?"

"Why do you keep saying I knew all of this already?! You said something to me while I was drunk and you didn't even generalize it! I thought you were saying that to ME because at the time, we hated each other! Stop acting like this was common fucking knowledge! I didn't know the same rules applied to someone you supposedly cared about!" she snapped.

"Supposedly? Eh heh heh heh, like there is a question there? Is that it? Well you SUPPOSEDLY loved me but apparently that was only because you thought for some reason that I was going to give you a baby. Now suddenly I'm a selfish bastard that you can't stand to look at.. But I haven't changed." Loki bit off angrily as he began to pace around the room. "I'm still exactly the same person that you kissed in the library. The person that told you that he was sorry that you probably wouldn't get to have your dream. I've never pretended to be anything else than what I am. Now, the way I care for you isn't good enough anymore. And you act like I've hurt you on purpose. Like I promised you something and took it away but I haven't. The only thing I promised you was me. And if you don't want me any more than just say it."

"Oh yeah. The only reason why I somehow managed to fall in love with the man who has physically and verbally abused me is because I wanted him to knock me up. Your silver tongue is failing you, Loki. That doesn't even make logical sense."

Natasha rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "I'm not going to allow you to pigeon hole me. I'm not going to let you force this to be a black and white issue. I tried to find a way around it, but that option isn't good enough for you, and you know why I wanted to do it that way…but that doesn't matter. I don't see why an artificial insemination is so wrong. No man will even have to touch me!"

"You didn't answer my question. Do you want to be with me or not?" Loki insisted as he stood in front of her stoically. "I want an answer."

"I want to be with you! But right now, I'm hurting and it's because of you, so I'm angry and I'm confused and I don't know what to do. I just know that you're selfish. You never answered my question. Why can't I have an artificial insemination?"

"Because I don't want you to have another man's baby… I don't like it," Loki shrugged. "And we're both selfish, little spider. If you really want to be with me than come back upstairs to our room. When you stay down here it feels like you don't want to be here anymore."

Natasha glared and rolled her eyes, "Do you even apply logic when you speak or think through these situations?! You don't want me to have another man's baby. You don't want me to have your baby…did you listen to anything I said about why I really wanted to have a child of my own? Does that even matter to you?"

"I was listening, little spider, and I understand how much you want to experience that and have a happy outcome but there's no guarantee that you would. This is how it is… I am very selfish… I know that and I'm extremely possessive and jealous… quick tempered and set in my ways…why do you think I was so surprised when you… you actually wanted me." Loki contemplated as he moved closer to her, his fingers playing lightly with a curl of her hair. "You matter to me… you do, my little spider. I know it's small things and not nearly enough to even notice sometimes but I do try, pet."

"I was stupid enough to believe that, since you cared about me…you'd want to make my dreams come true…you'd want to make me happy", she sighed as she moved away from him. Natasha crossed her arms and stared out the window before speaking evenly, "I need time."

"Doesn't that go both ways? I don't want children and my reasons might not seem like anything to you but they run very deep for me just as deep as yours. I'm willing to help you adopt a baby. I think that's a compromise. It may not be the one you wanted but it is me trying to make you happy," Loki divulged as he moved toward her once more. "And as far as being away from me I'm not willing to give you any more time. You either want to be with me or you don't. If you're staying down here then you don't. That's a choice that you need to make right now."

Natasha glared at him for several moments before she angrily marched past him and up the stairs, slamming the door behind her and yelling, "HAPPY NOW?!"

The young god sighed as he used his magic to bring him upstairs. "I'll be happy when you stop yelling at me and treating me so coldly, pet," Loki remarked as he appeared in front of her. "I understand your disappointment but I don't think I've earned this attitude you're giving me."

"Of course you wouldn't. You're an infallible god who feels entitled to get what he wants no matter how it affects anyone else's happiness" she said as she plopped on the bed. Natasha sighed, "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."

"I don't understand why you are being such a bitch to me," Loki remarked solemnly as his cellphone began to ring. "What is it? I got rid of the house lines a while ago I didn't need them. Well, Coulson knows to use the cell… Whatever, what do you want? How many of them? Fine, Fury.. I'll leave now." He clicked off his phone and placed it back in his pocket as his dark green eyes observed her on the bed. "Well, it's your lucky night, my pet. I have to go. You've got the bedroom all to yourself."

Natasha pulled the covers over her as he left, drifting off into a troubled sleep.

Loki walked into the mansion the following afternoon. In a fairly foul mood and quite a bit of pain. He hadn't been in the best frame of mind during the shield assignment which had become undeniably obvious when he had been impaled by one of the alien creatures mystical spears. If he had been a human, he would have been dead. As it stood, he had to endure several hours of medical torture as they worked on dislodging it from his rib cage. The poison in the tip had affected his healing which meant that he needed to suffer through being sewn up as well.

According to Banner, it should be out of his system in a few days and his normal healing time should kick back in then. Until then he felt like crap as he made his way towards the couch before he stopped as his eyes fell on Natasha. She was sitting in the recliner chair with a notebook and pencil in her hands. He assumed she must be starting to write her story. He had no patience for her attitude today.

He imagined it would be better if he went upstairs with the cold look that she was giving him. He had asked Banner to leave a message with his butler that the mission wouldn't be completed until well into the evening. He hadn't wanted her to worry not that she would have by the look on her face. It was obvious she was still angry about the baby.

"Hello, pet. I see you're working. I'll leave you to it," He replied as he slowly turned to leave the room.

Upon seeing him practically limp into the room, Natasha set the notepad aside and furrowed her brows before quickly jumping up to walk toward him. She put a cautious hand on his back and moved his shirt out of the way to see the heavy bandaging that covered his chest and wrapped around his back.

"Oh god…Loki…what happened? Are you alright? I called Tony this morning to check on you guys cause you weren't answering your phone. Didn't he tell you?"

She was still mad at him…but that didn't erase her feelings for him. She still cared about his well-being.

Natasha wrapped an arm around him and gingerly helped him up the stairs before helping him onto their bed. She promptly disappeared and returned with water and hot soup.

"I wish I could give you more, but I doubt pain killers would work on you."

"Stark and I don't actually talk, pet," Loki drawled as he lied his head back on the pillow. "I'm not really hungry but thanks for the thought."

Natasha checked his bandages and pursed her lips, "I'm going to need to change those in a few hours. What happened? Why aren't you healing?"

She sat down on the edge of the bed and felt his head to be sure he wasn't feverish before gingerly fluffing the pillows for him and pulling off his boots.

"The spear was poisoned, its slowed my healing," Loki divulged, wincing as he attempted to get more comfortable. "Banner says it's should dissipate in a few days."

Natasha sighed and cringed as she touched his face, "I'm sorry, love…I don't want you hurt. I may be upset with you, but I would never want this for you…"

She helped him prop his feet up and sat down in the chair beside his bed, watching over him as he fell asleep.

Loki woke up in the middle of the night from an extra sharp pain in his chest, sitting up gingerly he noticed that his bandage had begun to soak through slightly. Maybe he pulled a stitch in his sleep. He should have gotten out of the way of it long before it hit him. He cringed slightly as he moved to stand up.

Natasha quickly sat up, immediately waking from her slumber as she moved toward him, "Don't move…don't move…"

She moved to the bathroom and washed her hands before returning with a first aid kit. She carefully cut away the old bandages and took a look at the wound. Natasha cleansed and meticulously dressed the wound. While she worked, she glanced up at him, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine except for the constant pain in my chest. eh heh.." Loki winced between short labored breaths. "I can't really sleep. It hurts more lying down."

Natasha helped him sit up before arranging the pillows to help set him on an incline. She sat back down and looked at him, "Is that better?"

"Yes.. A little bit… thank you, little spider," Loki stated sincerely as he gazed down at the bandages on his chest. "I appreciate all your help, pet, but you don't have to sit up with me."

Natasha sighed as she sat on the chair beside him, propping her feet up on the edge of the bed, "I know I don't have to…"

Loki sat there quietly rubbing his hands back and forth for no other reason than to give himself something to do during the awkward silence. The throbbing in his chest was near maddening. He didn't envy humans at all. "The pain is a lot better now," he lied as he continued to gaze at his fingers. "You can go to sleep, pet."

Natasha narrowed her eyes, clearly seeing through his lie. She reached over and picked up the cup of water before bringing the straw to his lips, "Drink…you need to stay hydrated."

Once he'd consumed a sufficient amount of water, she moved down to the library to retrieve one of the books he'd been reading, "Here…this might help distract you from the pain until you fall asleep. I'm going to go try to find you some pain meds. I think that nurse gave me Percocet for my head…"

She returned a few minutes later with a bottle, "I hope this works…we got lucky. It's Vicodin."

Natasha handed him a pill before giving him water to wash it down with.

Loki opened the book and began to read. The pain got a little more bearable but he still couldn't sleep. He finished reading the book all the way through and began to start again when he noticed the sunlight beginning to peak through the windows. He was suddenly very hungry, setting down the book as he moved slowly to get out of bed.

Natasha had fallen asleep in the chair, but she heard him try to move, so she quickly sat up, "Don't…don't move…you hungry?"

When he nodded, she quietly went downstairs. Thirty minutes later, she returned with orange juice, toast, eggs and sausage. She carefully set the tray down before arranging the pillows behind him so that he could sit up to eat.

Natasha yawned and rubbed her eyes, "Eat as much as you can…"

Loki ate everything on his plate he felt ravenous. He couldn't remember ever being so hungry. "Delicious, pet. Thank you." he offered as he drank his last sip of juice. His chest still ached but it was better than yesterday. He wondered if the poison was already beginning to dissipate. He couldn't wait for his healing to start kicking in. He didn't like feeling weak or needy.

Natasha was pleased that he ate well. She took meticulous care of him for two more days before she allowed him out of bed. Days passed, and once he was fully healed, they had yet to talk about the big pink elephant in their room.

Natasha climbed into bed every night and fell asleep with her back facing him on the far edge of the bed.

Loki had long since given up talking to her. The longer that she gave him the cool and silent treatment the more he began to resent it. He began going into Shield on his own accord to help with research and anything else where his expertise might be useful just so that he didn't have to be around her.

The young god walked out of the bathroom as he moved toward the bed. He saw that she was already there, facing the wall as always. If she got any closer to the edge of the bed she would have fallen off. He lied down, his dark green eyes staring up at the ceiling. His mind a jumble of thoughts. He was thinking of going away for a few days. He had already spoken to Shield. Maybe to Vanaheim, it had been awhile since he had been there. He couldn't decide if he should or not. He was restless and being in this house was depressing.

Natasha felt his weight on the bed and let out a soft sigh. She wished she could talk to him. She wished she could put it to the back of her mind…at least that's what she knew he wanted. This dream of hers…this desire and her broken heart was an inconvenience to him. He'd given her 24 hours to get over it, then expected everything to be the same as it was before.

She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, "I don't know where we go from here, Loki…"

"I'm not sure what you want me to say to that, pet," Loki replied quietly. "You are the only one who can answer that so… I'm assuming you're bringing it up because you have an idea."

"I want to have a child of my own. I understand your concerns about your lineage and I sympathize, I really do…but what I don't understand is your caveman mentality of not allowing me to have an artificial insemination because you don't want me to have another man's child…you're thinking about it the wrong way. It would be mine…and mine alone. I'm going to do that…with or without your approval."

"And how do you think you're going to manage that since it is physically impossible for you to leave the mansion, pet?" Loki drawled as he continued to stare up at the ceiling.

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it…" she murmured softly. Natasha closed her eyes, "I don't understand…it's not as though another man will touch me. I don't expect you to help me or help me raise the child…I know you wouldn't even if I adopted. Have you thought to think of how I would act toward a child we adopted after knowing how much I want a child of my own? You know what it's like to feel like you can't quite connect to your parent. You know what it's like to not really feel like you belong. The fact that you don't care about a child we adopted feeling that way tells me how truly selfish you are. I decided that I don't want a child with you. I don't think I'd want you to be a father to any child of mine…me and any child we had would always come after what you wanted regardless of how much it hurt us…I wouldn't trust you to love a child…"

"What kind of mother puts so much importance on biology that she couldn't love a baby with all of her heart just because it didn't share her genes," Loki snapped as he sat up from the bed. "I have to say that I didn't expect to hear something as cold as that come from your lips, Natalia." The subject of adoption brought up a lot of emotions for him. He knew what it was like to be loved completely by an adoptive parent and he knew what it was like to be treated as considerably less because of his lack of the correct bloodlines. He hadn't expected her to be of Odin's mindset. "There is physically no way for you to leave here. There is no way to break the magical barrier I have in place not unless I will it and believe me I'm not going to be releasing it anytime soon. This isn't some security system that you can fiddle with, pet."

Natasha closed her eyes and rolled over, "Not to say I wouldn't love it…I would just spend my life feeling cheated out of an experience I feel I deserve. You keep saying you understand that, but you obviously don't. If you insist on keeping me prisoner for the rest of my natural life, the least you can do is try to make me happy."

"Not to say that you wouldn't love it? You were talking about how you would act toward the child differently just because it wasn't physically yours and how the child would notice it. Don't try to change it now. You know exactly what you were implying. You know the point you were making," His emerald eyes beginning to glaze over as thoughts of his childhood began to flood his mind unbidden. "You would just make it feel like it wasn't good enough because it didn't have the right genes… because it didn't come from your loins… you would feel cheated so you would take it out on the child. Make them feel like they didn't belong, like they weren't good enough, Like there was something not right with them, like nothing they did could ever be enough for you and they would never understand why. You know I thought that you were like Frigga but obviously I was wrong." Loki replied his voice filled with emotion as he stormed from the room.

Natasha roared in frustration me threw the alarm clock at the recently slammed door. She hated when he did this…when he found a way to turn things around on her. That way, he never had to admit he was wrong…he never had to acknowledge his part in their unhappiness.

She sat there for a while before getting up and following after him, watching as he moved down the stairs, "Loki. This isn't working…I can't give you what you want…you can't give me what I want…I know you don't love me. You've never said it. And it's fairly obvious that there's good reason for that…"

"It's funny how you told me that you understood that it was kind of soon and you hadn't even meant to say it.. how we were both nervous and afraid of being hurt and then less than a day later you get a hard on to have a baby and I don't give you the right answer to your question," Loki mused, his voice cracking as he tried to keep a hold on his emotions. "And I don't know suddenly it wasn't too soon anymore.. Suddenly I don't love you because I didn't say the words yet. It's the same exact time frame, pet, how do you do a 180 in one day?"

"Don't be ridiculous Loki. It took you almost a week to recover from your wound…and I told you I loved you days before you told me you didn't want a kid…" she murmured softly.

Natasha closed her eyes and shook her head, "We're only going to keep hurting each other. We have moments of bliss…but most of the time, we spend arguing or avoiding each other…we need to face facts, Loki. We care about each other, but…we can't see eye to eye. You can't be what I need and I can't be what you need. Love or deep affection is not enough to keep two people together. If you truly cared for me…if we truly cared for each other, we would let each other go…"

"What do you mean don't be ridiculous, you told me you loved me the night before we went on that mission together and the night we came back is when you suddenly had to have a child this minute or else," Loki rasped as he turned toward her heatedly. "Don't tell me I'm ridiculous. That's the facts. You did a complete 180 in 24 hours' time. You have treated me like you can't stand me since the very next night after you told me that you loved me. Because I wouldn't agree to get you pregnant. Yes, you were a wonderful nurse for the week I was ill. So kind and thoughtful in your cold, cool way. So what you said the words first because a day later you turned them off. No, I don't think you do love me. I think you thought you could change me and you loved the idea of the person that you thought you would make me into and the moment that you realized that I was still the same old Loki, well you didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. I did try… since I've known you… little things I know but they weren't exactly easy for me… who knows what else I could have… I mean if you didn't have to rush everything… if it wasn't now or nothing… I can't change on a dime… I don't know why you came to my room that night… maybe it was just jealousy… you saw me with another woman and suddenly I started to look good to you and now all you see are all the bad things… If you want to go back to the way things were before that night that's up to you. But if you think I'm cancelling the deal with Shield, that's not going to happen, pet."

Natasha shook her head, "I don't know what to think anymore…I can tell you that I never said it had to be 'right now'…but I'm a mortal, Loki. My life is a little longer than the average mortal's, but that's just it…I'm still mortal. I have a short amount of time on this world. I have an even shorter amount of time to reproduce. I'm not even supposed to be able to have children…but when I joined SHIELD, they helped reverse the affects the serum had on me…and I don't have much longer before my window of opportunity is officially closed. I'd always had the option of artificial insemination on the table because I knew there was a chance that I wouldn't have a man in my life who would want the same things I did. Then…when I fell in love with you, I thought to myself 'here..here is a missing piece of the puzzle'…"

She sighed and wiped away at the tears that had fallen down her eyes. A soft, humorless laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head, "Whatever. There's nothing I can do about it. I should just get used to this emptiness I feel. Don't worry, Loki. I'll suck it up like a big girl. Be sure to let me know if my nightly whimpering ever gets to be too loud for you."

With that, she stomped up the stairs and walked into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Loki opened the door of the bedroom and closed it behind him softly. "I want to tell you something and it has nothing to do with us, Natalia. But you are putting a lot of pressure on that future baby that you want so badly. A child can't fill any emptiness in you. That's not why you have a baby. You have a baby because you want to love it. Not because you feel like you're missing something or you lost something but just because you have a whole lot of love in your heart and you want to give it away. My mother taught me that. I know you suffered an unfathomable loss and it left a void there but you can't fill it with another baby. I think your still mourning her. I think your still dealing with the pain of what happened, it doesn't matter how long ago it was." Loki turned back toward the doorway, turning the knob slowly before stopping. "I really wish you would give us a chance. If you could just stop worrying about the future for a little bit. You have issues that your still dealing with and so do I. There is a whole part of myself that I can't even stand to look at. I can't change myself that fast, pet. We could figure things out together and see what happens. But I understand if you don't want to. And I am sorry that I hurt you." He opened the door and closed it behind him as he descended down the steps to the library. Sleep was not something that he was interested in at all.


	9. Chapter 9

Despite the fact that she thought it was fairly ridiculous that she was receiving advice about how to deal with loss from a man who had attempted genocide upon learning that he was adopted, she knew that he had a point. She was still dealing with her loss. She would always still be dealing with her loss…but she wasn't trying to fill a void with a shiny new baby. That's where he was wrong.

The days passed in a fog. They lived as roommates. No sex. No dates. No lively conversation as she cooked. No more breakfast in bed.

Natasha noticed he'd leave to run missions for SHIELD often…even for minor things. Natasha didn't go as far as the basement, but she frequently slept in the guest bedroom across the hall from the master. If they ended up in a room together, conversations were polite, quick and devoid of any extra, unnecessary sentiment.

Loki walked through the hallway as he saw Natasha opening the door of the guest bedroom. "Is that your new room permanently, pet? Because I'm not really sure why you didn't just go back down into the basement. It's been quite a puzzle to me ever since you took to sleeping in this room across from me?"

Natasha shrugged, "I know you once said that if I slept in the basement I was choosing to not be with you. I feel like I'm confused right now. I guess I'm not ready to admit that anything is over…I don't know where we are. I know you own me…but I…I don't know…"

"Well, I don't see much difference in one room or the other," Loki mused as his dark green eyes observed her sadly. "I think it's pretty obvious that you've chosen not to be with me. There really isn't any question in that at all."

Natasha pursed her lips and cleared her throat, "I…um…I'm going to cook dinner. I'll leave a plate on the counter for you."

She cried often. She didn't even realize she was crying most of the time until the tears blurred her vision. Tonight was one of those times. She moved around the kitchen with tears in her red-rimmed eyes, preparing an elaborate meal that might help her forget about the ever present sadness in her heart.

"You don't have to cook me dinner. You needn't leave me a plate," Loki stated softly as he moved into the kitchen. "You made your choice so we are no longer together. Take whatever room you want. I won't bother you. Things will be like they were before. Just do your thing and I'll do mine."

Despite his words, she left a covered plate on the kitchen island before sitting down to nibble at her own food. She went to the gym, did a hard workout, then went back up to her bedroom.

Before they knew it, six months had passed. Loki disappeared for a few days at a time every now and then. Natasha kept to herself, but during Loki's long absences, she began writing letters to sperm banks and fertility clinics that might be able to come to her when Loki was gone.

Loki walked into her room with a pile of mail and threw it down on her bed. "Someone's been a busy little bee," the young god snipped. "Unfortunately, darling, those letters aren't getting delivered."

Natasha glanced up from her place on her bed and sighed, her expression blank. She looked back down at the magazine in her lap, "You said we weren't together anymore…I figured my womb was no longer your business."

"No.. You decided that you didn't want to be with me anymore.. You just didn't have the balls to say it out loud but everything about you is my business, pet," Loki smirked. "There is nothing that goes on in this place that I don't know about. No mail, no phones, no leaving, and no one coming here without my express permission. So get use to that."

Natasha didn't bother to look up as she murmured evenly, "Sure. Right. Your highness…king of the house. Close my door on your way out."

Loki stalked toward her and grabbed her by the shoulders pulling her to her feet. "I'm through with your attitude." he seethed angrily. "You think I'm so horrible to you? You don't know how lucky you are, pet. If I didn't love you I would make you a real concubine. You would be tied to a bed waiting for me to take you whenever I felt like it. And the more you screamed in protest the better." He pushed her back down on the bed as he stormed through the doorway. "You can close it yourself."

Natasha stomped over to the door and kicked it shut, yelling obscenities at him in her native tongue. The familiar burn of hatred began to rear its head again.

"Take your fucking empty ass threats and shove them!"

Loki burst back into the room in a fit of anger after hearing her words. He had enough of her attitude. With a flick of his wrist she went flying back into the mattress, invisible bonds keeping her in place as he stood at the edge of the bed. She started to yell but with little more than a thought she couldn't even do that.

"Empty ass threats? Really, pet? There are so many things that I could do to you if you didn't mean anything to me. By the nines, I wish you didn't… I wish I didn't care about you at all. But as usual you missed the point. I wasn't threatening you, little spider. I was telling you a fact. This right here is what your life would be if I hadn't have been stupid enough to let you in my heart. You only think of the negative. You won't acknowledge anything else." He paced back and forth as he brushed his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"I said I was sorry. I actually apologized for not wanting kids as crazy as that is. I told you I was sorry cause it hurt you but that wasn't good enough for you. I asked you to give me a chance.. To see if maybe I could… but that wasn't good enough for you either. You claimed to love me and you couldn't even do that. You have your blinders on and you want your kid and you want it now. I should hate you. I should hate you the way you hate me for hurting you for not giving you a baby. Because when you turned so cold on me so fast you broke my heart. And I know you don't give a shit because I'm a monster and you probably don't think I even have one. By the All-Father, I wish that were true. I wish I didn't love you. But this is one thing that you are going to realize, pet, I did make changes for you."

Loki dematerialized from the room, releasing her bonds at the same time. He brought himself back into his own room as he gazed out the window. He wasn't sure what he was doing anymore. What was the point of even keeping her here? She didn't care about him. It was obvious that she never really cared about him. Feelings don't just go away so fast. Although, he wished they did. He hated feeling this way. He didn't want to love her anymore. Loki sighed as he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the window frame.

Natasha lay on the bed in shock. It wasn't until she recounted what he'd said before he burst back into the room that she realized he had told her he loved her for the first time.

It took her an hour to build up the courage to lightly knock on his door.

Loki sat on a chair in the corner of his room with a spell book in his hands. He had taken to reading in his bedroom instead of the library these past weeks since even passing by her for a moment had become so painful. He heard the knock on the door and sighed.

"What do you want?" he inquired sharply as he kept his eyes trained on the pages in front of him.

Natasha slowly moved into the room with her hands clasped in front of her. She sat on the bed across from him and remained silent for a few seconds before she softly whispered, "I'm here because….because you said something…and it made me do a lot of thinking. I…wanted to apologize. I have to agree that some of my treatment of you was out of line and harsh…I love you. And you said it back. I was too caught up in my own anger to recognize that. I guess it's just…anger is easier for me to feel than sorrow or grief, and I know it's the coward's way, but I never said I wasn't a coward…"

Natasha looked down and sighed, "I just wanted to say, I'm sorry and…I love you too. I know we're both selfish, but I do tend to get a little more self-righteous than you…and that showed."

Loki closed the book on his lap as he raised his dark green eyes toward her. "You… you still love me?" He was afraid to believe it. Afraid that she was just going to push him away again. "I'm sorry, too."

Natasha stood up and nodded, "I do…my feelings don't get turned off because I'm mad or sad or disappointed…" She closed her eyes and sighed, "I handled this wrong. I'm still sad…but I still love you."

Loki stood up slowly, moving toward her cautiously. He was nervous. He moved his hand tentatively toward a long lush curl as he placed the edges of his fingertips along the velvety strand. "I love you very much, Natalia, I don't want to make you sad. I'd like to try and make you happy, little spider."

Natasha smiled slightly, but there was a hint of sadness to her expression as she cautiously reached to place her hand on his chest, "How?"

"However I can," Loki replied softly as he gazed at her hand resting softly against his chest. It had been so long since he had felt her touch. It almost didn't seem real.

Natasha nodded slowly, "I don't…I don't know what else you can do. I know where you stand. I have to get used to that…I think I'm just going to try to deal with it…and remember that I love you and try to live the rest of my life the best I can."

"Why do you love me?" Loki asked as he continued to twirl his fingers gently along the soft curl that he held loosely in his fingers. His emerald eyes gazing down at her earnestly. "What possible reason do you have for loving me?"

Natasha laughed a little, "If I knew why people loved each other, I'd be the most famous, richest person in the world. There's no real explanation. I love you simply because I do."

"I know why I love you, pet," Loki whispered with a half-smile. "You're strong and smart. You're not afraid of me. You don't hold back when you're with me. You make me smile… you make me feel like a man not a monster."

Natasha smiled as she gently cupped his face, then slowly pulled his lips down to hers for a kiss. She breathed him in as she wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, pressing her body against his.

"Loki…I've missed you…"

"I've missed you too, little spider," Loki whispered between kisses as he moved his hands along her body. "I've missed you so much… so much, Natalia."

Natasha broke the kiss just long enough to snatch her nightgown off over her head. As soon as she was naked, she reconnected their lips for a frenzied, heated kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him backwards toward the bed.

Loki moved his lips all over her body, reacquainting himself with every inch of her skin. He had missed her so much. He couldn't wait to be joined with her again. They slid together with ease as he tenderly entered her. It felt like a miracle having her in his arms again. He had ached for her for so long. "Natalia… I love you." he purred against her throat as they moved together in perfect harmony.

Natasha kissed him lovingly and looked up into his eyes, "Loki…I love you too…"

She moaned as she held him close, relishing each slow, delicious thrust. Natasha arched against him and wrapped her limbs around him.

"Loki….please?"

Loki groaned in ecstasy as their bodies collided in a perfect rhythm. Her body arching toward him to take him further. He had never wanted a woman more. He had never felt this way before. He had fallen in love with her. It was strange and scary and wonderful all at the same time. And very inconvenient. It was so much simpler when he didn't care about anyone but himself.

He felt her body begin to shudder around him as she cried out in unabashed abandon as she reached her peak. The sound of his name falling from her lips was Valhalla. He could barely contain himself as he felt his own body spasm while the waves of splendor overtook him. Loki collapsed on his back for a moment, gasping for breath as he turned on his side and propped his head on his elbow. His dark green eyes gazing at her lovingly as he traced a finger along her hip before moving his hand toward her belly.

"I gave you what you wanted, Natalia," Loki whispered in his silky accent. "You have your baby." He hoped he wouldn't regret it.

Natasha was still lost in a euphoric high when she heard him utter those words. Her eyes snapped open to stare into his as tears began forming. Natasha took his face in her hands as she lovingly kissed him, nuzzling her face against his as a soft sob left her throat. She continued to cry as she held him close, "Thank you…thank you…I love you no matter what…but I'm so thankful to you for this…"

She couldn't stop laying kisses over his face. She knew how hesitant he was over this…and she wanted to make sure he didn't regret it. Natasha kissed his lips again and curled into his side.

Loki held onto her tightly as she snuggled against him, his lips brushing softly against her forehead. "I missed holding you like this, my little spider." He ran his fingers along her soft red curls falling along her shoulder. "I missed having you next to me when I tried to sleep."

Natasha pressed a soft kiss to his neck, "I missed you too. I haven't been sleeping well at all without you…"

As she drifted off, she softly whispered "I love you".

The next morning, she brought him breakfast in bed, then they went out together to walk through the town and do some shopping. Natasha couldn't stop kissing him. She'd missed him so much, and she'd been so stubborn, clinging to her anger rather than clinging to him.

Weeks passed and the only way she knew that she was indeed pregnant was due to the absence of her period. Natasha figured Loki knew and didn't need any confirmation…she also knew he wasn't very interested. She hadn't been prepared for how much that stung her, but she didn't let it dampen her spirits or their relationship. Their schedule of dates, cooking and vigorous sex continued, blissfully uninterrupted after almost half a year of barely speaking.

As the weeks ticked on, she could tell he was watching her like a hawk. One of his reasons for him not wanting to have a child was the adverse effects the pregnancy might have on her body, but she felt fine. Not even an ounce of morning sickness. She was freakishly hungry and always tired, but she was elated.

When her abdomen began to swell, she didn't bother Loki to feel her belly…she was aware of his indifference toward fatherhood. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, so she waited until she was in the bathroom, alone, to admire the changes in her figure.

Loki passed by the bathroom door and stopped as his eyes fell on Natasha staring into the mirror as she gazed at her stomach. For the first time, he realized that she was actually starting to show. He moved toward her as he placed his hand gently along her belly. He was still nervous about what the pregnancy might do to her. "You're showing, pet." He continued to caress her stomach in slow circles. "You look beautiful, my little spider, how do you feel?"

Natasha smiled and closed her eyes as she leaned back against him and whispered, "I love you so much…thank you for this."

She placed her hands over his and turned her head to the side to capture his lips in a sweet kiss, "You've made me the happiest I've ever been…and the horniest…and the hungriest…"

Natasha laughed softly and kissed him with more passion, implying that they would likely need to head to the bed soon.

"I love seeing you so happy," Loki grinned against her lips as she turned in his arms. "That's all I want… you brought love into my dreary little world and I just want to make you as happy as you've made me."

Natasha smiled at him and leaned up to whisper in his ear, "You did make me happy…and you can make me even happier if you take me to bed right now."

"Eh heh heh heh, that I can definitely do, pet," Loki chuckled as he lifted her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. He couldn't get enough of her. He had a ravenous appetite for every inch of her body. As they lied there in the afterglow, the young god turned to her with a wicked grin before conjuring her a pint of rocky road ice cream to feed her sweet tooth. He had noticed that she had already begun to have cravings. He wasn't sure what normal pregnancies were like so he had no real way to gauge if things were progressing in a typical fashion or not. It worried him.

Natasha kissed him sweetly and laughed, "You are a saint. I feel like I'm always hungry. I'm just glad I didn't have morning sickness. My appetite has never been better. I've still been jogging though, so that's good."

"Do you feel different at all? You know inside there," Loki smiled as he rested his hand against the slight swell of her belly. "Are things similar to your first pregnancy? Not to bring up bad memories, my pet, I just I wonder how you're doing."

Natasha smiled a little, "To be honest, things are easier this time around. I was sick and barely able to move half of my first pregnancy. I never feel sick. I am just horny and hungry."

"That's good.. Eh heh heh heh.. I hope it stays that way especially the horny part," Loki chuckled as he continued to caress her stomach. It was strange to think that there was a baby in there. He hadn't really given the child itself much thought since the conception. It wasn't as if he had changed his mind about having one. He had only done it to please her. But now that she was showing it was hard not to think of the child itself. What would it look like? Would it take after his Jotunn heritage? Would it be like him? The prospect of that wasn't exactly pleasing. He thought to himself as he stared at her stomach wistfully.

Natasha continued to blossom. She went to her doctor's appointments religiously and brought Loki along to give him the chance to ask the doctor as many questions as he saw fit.

She was thankful that he seemed to be tolerating her pregnancy. Natasha kept in mind that he still wasn't interested in becoming a father and she respected that, not wanting to bring up too many aspects of expecting the baby. She asked him for a new iPad so that she could start ordering baby things.

Around her fifth month, they were in the kitchen preparing dinner. Natasha had put Loki to work making a salad as she stood at the stove, stirring a homemade pesto sauce when she suddenly gasped. She put one hand on her stomach as the other hand covered her open-mouthed smile.

"The baby moved…" she said with a soft laugh as a tear came to her eye.

Loki turned toward her with an upraised brow as he stepped toward her curiously. "You felt it move? What does it feel like?"

Natasha dropped her hand from her mouth and smiled dreamily at him, "Like a miracle…but, I guess a more accurate description would be…it feels like butterflies in my belly…literally."

Loki moved his hand toward her stomach as he gazed up at her quizzically. "Will it do it again? Can I feel it?"

Just as the question left his mouth, a soft flutter moved against his palm. Natasha laughed and looked up at him with a wide smile, "Did you feel that?"

"Eh heh heh heh, yes… like a little tap tap tap, how strange," Loki mused as he moved his hand along belly. After a few more seconds, he felt it again. "It's like it's working the punching bag like you, pet, eh heh heh." His grin widening as he continued to rest his hand against her stomach.

Natasha smiled as she placed her hand atop his, "That's a miracle in there. I have it thanks to you…I'm so in love with you. Thank you so much for this. I know that you don't want to be involved. I know you don't want to be a parent. I respect that whole heartedly, alright? My feelings won't be hurt if you don't want to be a part of this. I know that you did this just to make me happy…and I'm willing to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I appreciate you for this…"

"I wanted to make you happy and give you your dream," Loki revealed as he continued to caress her belly. "What I did or didn't want just didn't seem quite as important as taking that sadness out of your eyes. There is nothing in the nine realms that means more to me than you, my little spider. I love you. All I want is for you to be safe and happy."


	10. Chapter 10

Loki sat in a stool at her side as she lied on the examining table in the obstetrician's office. The doctor was performing an ultrasound and according to him, in a few moments, the child's image would appear on the screen in front of them. They rubbed some gel on her belly before they took the wand and began moving it around her tummy. The young god was a little apprehensive about seeing the child as he sat there quietly and held her hand.

Natasha smiled reassuringly at Loki before turning her eyes to the screen. She gasped softly as the image of their baby flickered to life. The doctor began pointing out certain body parts and taking measurements as the fetus squirmed around, obviously displeased with attention they were receiving.

"Everything looks great. Do you want to know the sex?"

Natasha nodded, "Yes. Absolutely."

The doctor had to do some more finessing before finally spotting the baby's genitalia, "You have a perfectly healthy baby girl in there."

Loki stared at the image in awe as he could see the outline of the small legs and arms while the baby wriggled around the screen. "You can see its little fingers… her… her fingers and eh heh heh… there's her little nose, darling." he mused as he observed the outline of her features. His dark green eyes staring at the image intently.

The doctor nodded and smiled, "And there is her head and her little button nose…haha, it looks like she just stuck her hand in her mouth. She looks great. Natasha, keep doing what you're doing, just be sure you're going easy on the high impact workouts. Limit jogging to just a few time a week and pay close attention your body."

After reminding Natasha to refill her prenatal vitamin prescription, the doctor sent them on their way with a printed out picture of the ultrasound.

They went to a restaurant for lunch after the appointment. Natasha sat on the opposite side of the booth perusing the menu, "What do you want baby girl? Chocolate shake? Cheeseburger? Fries?"

Loki sat in the booth as he continued to gaze at the printout that the doctor had given them. "A daughter… you'll have to think of a name, pet." He seemed to be mesmerized by her image although he wasn't sure why. "Does it please you that it's a girl, little spider?"

Natasha smiled as she looked up to see him staring at the picture, "I'm very happy it's a girl…but I'm ecstatic that she's healthy." She cocked her head to the side and watched him for a few seconds. He was intently examining the picture and every so often, his finger would gingerly trace the outline of the baby's profile. Was he actually forming a connection?

She could only wish for that, but she refused to get her hopes up.

"I like the name Anya."

"That's a very pretty name… Anya," Loki smiled as he traced his finger along her little nose and chin. "So did Anya decide what she wanted to eat, pet?" he jested as he finally looked up from the picture, his dark green eyes searching out her bright blue.

Natasha laughed, "I think we've come to an agreement, yes. We're going to get the cheeseburger and fries. I have to promise to get her a milkshake later though…" She pursed her lips together and waited a moment before speaking, "Do you think you'll want to be in the delivery room and hold her and stuff? I mean, you don't have to. I totally understand if you'd rather not."

"I would like to be there with you, little spider," Loki answered thoughtfully as he reached over the table and held her hand. "I think I would go crazy if I weren't, my pet. I wouldn't know what was happening. If the two of you were alright."

Natasha looked up as an expression of hope flashed across her face, "The two of us? I…thank you for saying the two of us…"

She leaned over and kissed him.

As her pregnancy progressed, Natasha continued to feel fine, but the normal aches and pains of bearing a child began to rear their head. First, was the back aches, which she hid from Loki. She didn't want him to feel obligated to give her back rubs. This pregnancy was something she wanted. She would have to suck it up and deal with the affects.

Natasha was in bed, trying to get comfortable enough to go to sleep, but her back was bothering her. When she whimpered softly and turned over yet again, she was met with his intense green gaze.

"Hey baby…thought you were sleep…"

"Are you alright, darling?" Loki inquired, his dark green eyes gazing at her intently. He had heard the light whimper noise that she had made and he was worried that there was something wrong. "You sounded like you were in pain?"

Natasha shook her head, "I'm fine. It's normal. Just some back pain. I'll be fine. You should go back to sleep. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Don't be silly, little spider," Loki admonished. "Here let me put my hands to work, eh heh heh heh." He grinned as he moved to the other side of the bed and began gently massaging her sore muscles as she laid on her side.

Natasha moaned in relief and let out a soft breath, "God…that feels good. Thank you so much…"

At seven months pregnant, her little one was growing quickly and moving a lot more regularly. She enjoyed watching her belly shift and move as the baby roamed within her. For whatever reason, despite his supposed indifference toward the child she carried, she couldn't help but feel closer to Loki now.

Finally, she was comfortable enough to fall asleep, thanking him profusely before she did so.

Loki sat up in bed watching her sleep as the morning sun shone through the window. He moved his fingers gently along her belly, moving her shirt slightly as he gazed at her exposed skin. He could actually see the movement of the little girl as she tumbled within. He was surprised that Natasha had not woken up. The baby seemed to be raring to go this morning. "You're going to wake your mother," he whispered softly as he leaned forward slightly pressing his lips against her stomach.

Natasha didn't wake until almost ten that morning. She wandered downstairs after washing up and getting dressed to find Loki in his library, "Good morning, hon. did you eat breakfast already? I can fix you something."

She kissed him sweetly on the lips and moved to the window to take a look at the sky.

"No, I've already eaten. Besides, my pet, I should be the one to fix you something," Loki smiled as he closed his book and strutted toward where she stood. He put his arms around her, placing his chin in the crook of her neck and his hands resting gently along her belly. "Eating for two and all that..Eh heh heh heh. Tell me what do you lovely ladies want for breakfast?"

Natasha smiled and turned her head to press a kiss to his cheek. She pleaded her hands atop his, "Mmmm…we could go for some French toast and sausage…"

Loki conjured her meal as he sat next to her at the kitchen table. "You know I think you grow more beautiful every day, pet." He smiled softly as he watched her cutting a piece of French toast. "I'm glad you got to sleep in a bit this morning. You let me know if your back is bothering you or anything else, alright little spider. I want to help when I can."

Natasha smiled pleasantly, "Thank you, love…that means a lot to me."

She finished her food and stood up before walking to him an placing a sweet kiss on his lips, "Would you like to go for a walk on the beach?"

Loki walked along the beach as he held her hand. The time for the baby to be born was fast approaching. And his anxieties about her safety increased with each passing week. Everything had been going smoothly but that was no guarantee that no problems would arise. He was worried and he had begun to realize that he was concerned with the child's well-being as well. He was fearful of the delivery and that something might go wrong.

"Will you be able to tell when the time comes, pet," he mused as his dark emerald eyes gazed at her swollen belly. "I noticed there was an alleyway next to the hospital that I can bring us to without notice. I don't want to waste time trying to drive you there."

Natasha smiled and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, "You'll be the first person who knows, my love."

She smiled and kissed his lips before gazing out over the ocean. She knew he was worried about her safety. One of his main reasons for not wanting to have a baby was his concerns about her safety, but she had no worries. Everything had been better than she imagined during this pregnancy, and she made sure that her doctor was on top of everything.

Natasha turned back to Loki and took both of his hands in hers as she stared into his eyes, "Loki…we have gone through a lot. I never thought I'd be standing here with you…and I'd have a man who loves me and a baby…you've made me the happiest I've ever been…and I want to ask you…to marry me." She chuckled softly and looked down, "I would get on one knee, but my center of gravity isn't what it used to be."

"You want to be my wife?" Loki asked in surprise. It had never crossed his mind that she would ever want such a thing. That she would want to make such a commitment to him of her own choosing touched him deeply. "The thought of being your husband pleases me very much, Natalia." He leaned forward as he kissed her softly. "I would love to marry you, my little spider."

Natasha laughed and kissed him softly, wrapping her arms around his neck, "Really? I've got a temper and I'm kind of high maintenance. I'm gonna need a big house on the beach and a baby girl…."

"I think we are both high maintenance, eh heh heh heh, but we fit perfectly together, little spider. You are the only woman that I have ever loved, Natalia." Loki grinned as he moved his hand to caress her stomach. "Do you want to get married before or after Anya makes her appearance?"

Natasha shrugged slightly, "If you like…I don't mind it looking like a shot gun wedding."

She laughed softly and gently favored his lips with a kiss, "I love you so much, Loki…we can get married as soon as next week at the courthouse. Or right here in the house…or on the beach. Which do you prefer?"

"I think here would be nice," Loki mused as he continued to caress her belly tenderly. He grinned widely as he felt the kick from the baby within. "Yes, here on the beach would be perfect."

Natasha laughed as she looked down at his hand on her belly, "I think she likes it too."

About a week later, Natasha was walking out onto the beach to meet her groom. She held a small bouquet of lilies and wore a green and off-white lace umpire waist spaghetti strapped sun dress.

Her hair was worn in loose curls and a single white flower was worn over her left ear.

Loki grinned brightly as he watched her approach. She looked beautiful and he was still amazed at the idea that she actually willingly wanted to be his bride. She was here because she loved him and the knowledge of that made him happier than he ever thought possible. He ran his fingers along her soft curls as she stood before him while the minister began the ceremony.

"Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, forsaking all others for as long as you both shall live?" the man inquired as he gazed at Loki whose smile had yet to dim.

"Yes… I do," Loki vowed as his dark green eyes sparkled, his heartbeat quickening with excitement. Now she would truly be his. They would belong to each other.

Natasha smiled up at him as she squeezed his hands. The minister turned to her and repeated the vows for her.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish forsaking all others for as long as you both shall live?"

She nodded as she grinned up at him, staring into his eyes, "I do."

"By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Loki wrapped his arms around her, kissing her softly as he smiled against her lips. "My beautiful wife, I love you, Natalia." The young god couldn't stop smiling. He captured a strawberry ringlet between his fingers as he gazed down at her blissfully. "You've made me very happy, my little spider."

Natasha smiled as they stood there, watching as the sun set over the ocean. The day had been perfect. Everything she wanted for them and more. After staying on the beach for a little while, they went back into the house. The seldom-used private chef had prepared a five course dinner for them by candlelight for their special wedding night meal.

Natasha stuck to sparkling cider while Loki sipped on champagne. They made love that night for the first time as husband and wife.

Time continued to tick on, and her pregnancy progressed beautifully.

She went into labor at 39 weeks…but she wasn't even sure she was actually in labor. Her day started normally enough. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, but she rose early enough to get breakfast started. Natasha felt a little achy, but it didn't bother her too much.

She set an omelet on the table in front of him and gently kissed his lips, "Morning love."

"Good morning, darling," Loki smiled softly as he observed her carefully. Her due date was only a week away and his anxiety over the impending birth was at an all-time high. "How are you feeling, pet? Perhaps you should sit down. You didn't sleep very well last night."

Natasha nodded as she carefully lowered herself into a chair. She felt exhausted, and the aching in her back and belly persisted. She ran a hand down her belly and sighed, "I think I'm fine. Just a bit achy, that's all."

"Does your belly hurt?" Loki inquired worriedly as he watched her run her hand along her stomach. "Maybe you should lie down, my darling. Is your back bothering you? Would you like a massage? Here, my little spider, why don't I help you to the couch." He stood up from the table as he moved next to her, running his fingers through her loose curls. "It's more comfortable than these hard chairs."

Natasha laughed softly as he gingerly helped her over to the couch, "I'm fine, love…a massage sounds lovely."

She smiled as he began expertly moving his slender fingers along her back. Now that she was relaxing, she began to notice that the "aches" were consistently coming every four minutes and lasting as long as a minute.

When his massage was over, she smiled and held her hands out to him, "Would you mind helping me up?"

Of course, he did. She kissed his lips softly and looked into his eyes before whispering, "I think we're going to have a baby today."

"Why would you say that, pet?" Loki inquired as a bewildered look descended over her features. His dark green eyes scrutinizing her even more closely. She didn't look like a woman in labor. She looked a little uncomfortable. He was confused. "Are you in that much pain? You're not due until next Thursday. I'll take you to the hospital right now."

Natasha pointed up the stairs as he took her hand, "But, I need my bag. I'm fine, love. It doesn't hurt that bad, I promise. Look at me. Don't I look fine?"

"You look fine, pet… but you just said you were having the baby today," Loki puzzled as he let go of her hand. "So we need to go to the hospital… don't we? I'll get your bag." He darted up the stairs, grabbing her things before flying back down to her as fast as his legs could carry him. He needed to get her to a doctor. He was a bundle of nerves and could think of little else as he grabbed her hand and prepared to take her to the hospital.

Natasha nodded, "Yes, that's right. I'm in labor..,but it's not very painful. I'm fine. Let's just stay calm, alright?"

She kissed his lips and smiled as he led her out to the car.

Loki drove her to the hospital. His fingers tapping nervously against the desk as the nurse began the slow and tedious admissions process before finally bringing her into a labor and delivery room. It looked like a hotel room. There was a bed and dressers, a TV on a large wooden entertainment unit. "Where is all the medical equipment? She is here to have a baby not to take a vacation?" he snipped as he looked around the large space.

"Don't worry. It's all here," the nurse smiled as she opened one of the wooden cabinets to reveal a myriad of instruments and supplies. "We just try to make it look homey for our new mothers."

The nurse instructed her to get undressed and put on her hospital gown before leaving. Natasha got undressed and put on the flimsy gown before sitting on the bed, "Loki. You have to relax, hon. I'm fine. I feel fine."

When the nurse returned, she checked Natasha's cervix and was surprised to find that she was almost 7 centimeters dilated.

"How long did you say you've been in labor?" she inquired.

Natasha shrugged, "When I woke up, I felt achy, but it wasn't bad."

The nurse laughed, "Well, you might have gone into labor in your sleep. Let's get you walking around so we can try to break that water. After that happens, I'm sure we'll be meeting that little one in no time. Dad, you'll need to stick with her just in case the pain gets to be too much. I'll show you where you can walk her."

Loki tensed at the word 'Dad' being applied to him. He didn't feel like a father nor was that something that he had ever aspired to be. The truth was that he was rather confused about his feelings for the tiny being inside of her. He couldn't deny that he had come to care about the little girl and her safety. But he had no idea how to be a parent.

They began walking around the corridors of the maternity ward. The young god's eyes were trained on her every movement as he watched her like a Hawk. She paused for a moment in her steps and Loki immediately put his hand gently on her arm for support. "Do you need to go back to the room, darling? Is the pain getting worse?"

Natasha breathed out and nodded. The pain had gotten a bit worse and almost as soon as they rendered her hospital room, her water broke. From there, the contractions were far worse. She stood on the side of the bed, leaning over it as she breathed in and out.

She glanced over at Loki and gave him a reassuring smile before lowering her head once more.

Soon, the room was abuzz with her doctor and nurse. It was like a whirlwind. Thanks to the baby's progressed state and Natasha's high pain tolerance, labor had been a breeze.

Natasha was positioned to birth and began pushing. The room was quiet except for the doctor, who notified her when to push.

"Very good. Very good…now rest."

Natasha leaned back and panted softly, glancing up at Loki with a soft, pain-ridden smile on her face, "This is pretty hard."

Loki brushed his fingers along her soft curls, tucking a stray lock behind her ear. "You are very brave, my little spider. I hate seeing you in pain." He exhaled slowly as he held her hand. It seemed like an eternity since they had arrived at the hospital. How long did it take for a child to be born? The doctor instructed her to push again as she tightened her grip on his hand. The young god's eyes widened as the doctor announced that the child's head was beginning to crown.

With two more pushes and one soft cry from Natasha, the baby girl was born. Pink-skinned, healthy and beautiful. The little one cried as the nurses cleaned her off and placed her on Natasha's chest.

Natasha cried as she finally got her first look at the baby, who had a slick cap of red hair covering her tiny head.

Loki stared in wonderment at the little girl in her arms. "She's beautiful, Natalia, she looks like you," he murmured softly as he stared down at the two of them. He smiled softly as he watched them. She had her dream and they were both healthy and safe. For the first time in months, he felt a great sense of peace.

Hours later, after the baby had her first bath and she'd nursed, she just sat holding the tiny bundle in her arms, staring down at her. It suddenly dawned on her that Loki never got the chance to hold the baby…it then immediately dawned on her that she wasn't sure he wanted to hold her…

She looked up at him with a soft, tired smile, "Would you like to hold her?"

Loki sat along the edge of the mattress as he gazed down at the little girl in her arms. She was such a sweet little thing, fast asleep in her mother's arms. "I've never held a baby," he whispered as he ran a finger along her soft sheen of strawberry locks.

Natasha smiled and laughed softly, "…and who do I look like? Mary Poppins? Hold out your arms, my love."

Once he did as instructed, she gingerly lay the baby in his embrace.

Loki smiled as he held the tiny bundle in his arms. "She's all you, pet," the young god mused as he stared at her sleeping form. "She has your nose and your little pout… she's very sweet," he mused as he gazed at her warmly. "Such tiny little fingers… she's perfect, little spider."

"You gave her to me…thank you so much" she said softly as she smiled at the sight of him holding the baby. Natasha stared at him for a few moments, "I know you never wanted to be a father, and I completely understand that. You are under no obligation to help me with her."

"I don't mind helping. You're my wife and she's…," Loki paused as he stared at her tenderly. "I wonder if she has inherited anything from me in her." He ran his fingers lovingly along her wispy curls as he held her snuggled against his chest. It was hard to believe that he could help to create something so precious.

Natasha was a bit let down that he couldn't seem to form the word 'daughter', but she did appreciate how sweetly he stared at her. She sighed and shrugged, "Well, she's beautiful…and if you haven't noticed, her eyes are green…perhaps she's got that penchant for mischief and is devilishly smart. You thought my pregnancy would be hard on my body, but it was the easiest one my doctor had ever seen…the birth was easy too…maybe you can let your guard down and let her into your heart…"

"Does she? I haven't had a chance to see them. It seems every time I look at her, her eyes are closed," Loki divulged as he continued to gaze at her thoughtfully. "We made something very beautiful, little spider. She is very precious… I'm glad that I did… I'm glad that she is here."

Natasha smiled as tears formed in her eyes, "Really? I am so happy to hear you say that, Loki…I hoped you'd see how beautiful our baby would be."

"She is… ours, little spider… I… I'm not sure how good I will be," Loki murmured softly, his emerald gaze staring intently at the small baby in his arms. "I've always thought that I would make a really horrible father. But when I look at her… I don't know, I feel like maybe… maybe I was wrong."

Natasha sat up slightly before placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, "There is no such thing as a perfect parent. If there is genuine love for her in your heart, you will be a good father. The fact that you care for her…the very fact that you're afraid you won't be good enough for her is the reason why I know you'll be a wonderful father if that's what you choose."

"I do… I do… Natalia," Loki admitted as he brushed his lips along the baby's soft curls. "I started to realize it when I saw her picture… she was suddenly this little person and I started worrying about her just like I worried about you. She's a part of us both… she's our daughter… I really want to be a good father to her."

Natasha smiled as tears began to fall down her face, "I'm so happy you want to be a father to her…you have no idea…"

She kissed him softly, "I love you so much."

Two days later, they brought Anya home. The new parents stood over the infant as she lay in her bassinet, sleeping soundly. She jerked slightly in her sleep and started sucking on her own tongue slightly before she settled down and fell back to sleep, "Dear god…she's the most beautiful thing ever…"

"She truly is… like a little angel," Loki mused as he wrapped his arms around his wife, resting his chin against her shoulder as he continued to stare into the bassinet. "Now I have my two girls, eh heh heh heh… you've changed my life so much, Natalia, so much for the better."

She laughed softly and nodded before softly whispering as they stared down at their baby, "Who would have thought this is where we would end up…"

The weeks that followed were exhausting, but very happy. Natasha breastfed, so she had to get up every time the infant cried, but she never complained. She loved being a mother.

Loki's world had changed considerably over the last nine months but something's remained the same. He still had to fulfill his bargain with Shield but obviously he no longer considered his wife part of that equation. He had long since rid the house of his mystical locks that prevented her from leaving. The phone had been returned to normal service and he had replaced her ipad which he had so stubbornly crushed in her first few months living under his roof. She was free to do as she pleased. She was his wife not his property.

The Avengers and Shield had been more than a little surprised to hear of their child and subsequent marriage. He was certain that most of them believed that he had used some sort of magic on her to get her to agree. Not that he cared what they thought. She was happy and so was he. He had been called away that morning to see if he could help interpret some strange scrolls that were discovered from some excavation site.

Loki was just finishing up writing down the translation as he moved to bring his findings to Coulson. His dark green eyes falling on a note that was lying on top of the agent's desk. 'Barton 2:45 JFK'

"Why isn't he in LA?" the young god snapped.

"He is still with the West Coast office," Coulson replied evenly. "It's just a quick assignment. He'll be here and gone in a few hours at most."

Loki gazed at the clock. It was 4 pm. Why wasn't he at Shield yet if that was why he had been flown in? "Here hurry up and take a look at this." He ordered, suddenly filled with a desperate need to be at home.

Anya had been a little fussy that morning, so Natasha took her out for a walk to get some fresh air. Upon returning him, she spotted a familiar looking figure standing at her front door step with his back facing her. Clint must have sensed Natasha nearby because he suddenly turned to look at her.

Her heart dropped to her knees as she slowly approached the house, "Clint…"

The archer smirked and opened his arms, "What? No hug?"

Natasha was frozen in her spot as she stared at him, "I'm sorry…I'm just…I'm glad to see you…but you shouldn't be here."

"Right…cause of your husband." Clint paused as his eyes drifted down to the stroller where Anya slumbered peacefully, "…I had to see it with my own eyes…I can't believe he got you to actually…"

As Clint let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head in disgust Natasha furrowed her brows, "Watch it, Barton. For your information, I didn't agree to anything. I asked Loki to get me pregnant. I asked him to marry me. As far as I'm concerned, my daughter is the best thing that's ever happened to me…"

"Is that all you needed? Are we through here?" Loki exasperated as he watched Coulson peruse his notes.

"You translated the whole scroll?" the agent remarked as he gazed over the papers. "Very impressive."

"Not very hard when you know the languages," Loki snipped impatiently. "These came from the realm of Alfheim… peaceful creatures… you needn't worry about them. Are we done?"

Coulson nodded absently as he continued to read the papers in front of him. The young god wasted no time as he rushed out of the office and headed for home.

Natasha took a step away from Clint and shook her head, "You should go. Loki would flip if he knew you were here."

He rolled his eyes and sighed, "So he is using intimidation or something."

"No! As crazy as it is, I'm here with my husband and child on my own volition. Barton, I will always appreciate you, but I love my husband. I love our daughter—"

Just then, Anya began to cry. Natasha quickly leaned down to pluck her daughter out of the stroller. She softly bounced and shushed the baby, "Please. You have to go."

The sound of car wheels crunching over the gravel told Natasha that it was too late. Daddy was home…

Loki's entire body was overcome with a possessive fervor as he caught sight of Barton standing along his front steps.. He didn't want him anywhere near them. The image of her rushing to his side flashing through his mind as his old insecurities bubbled to the surface. He stormed from the car as he strutted toward them. His dark emerald eyes filled with irritation as he gazed at the archer.

"I thought I made it clear last time, little birdman," he bit off angrily. "You are not welcome here."

"What are you going to do hit me again?" Clint goaded as he stood his ground.

"This time I won't be nearly as gentle," Loki smirked wickedly as he loomed over the smaller man.

"You gonna knock me around in front of your daughter? That's some A plus parenting," Clint retorted. "I can see what you see in him, Tasha."

"I've had enough of you," Loki rasped as he reached out and grabbed him by the collar.

Natasha took a quick step backwards as she protectively cradled her daughter against her chest. Upon hearing the raised voices, Anya stirred and immediately broke out into a full blown wail.

"Loki! No! Stop! Clint! Go! Now! I am not having fighting around my daughter!"

Loki let go of the archer the moment that he heard his daughter's cry. His limbs were near shaking in anger as he stared at him evilly before Barton took a step away and began to leave.

"Stay safe, Tasha," Clint remarked as he moved passed her. "You know where I am if the two of you ever need anything."

Loki clenched his fists at his sides at the sound of his words. He stared after him coldly as he watched him get in his car and drive away. He stormed into the house, leaving the front door wide open as he descended into the basement to release some of his frustration with a little target practice.

Natasha closed her eyes and let out a slow breath as she moved into the house to change and feed her daughter. After placing the infant down for a nap, she moved to the basement with the mobile video monitor attached to her hip.

"Loki…I'm yours and no one else's. I'm your wife. I had your child. We are YOUR family."

"I know that," Loki replied coolly as he threw another dagger into the target along the wall. "I don't like him… I don't like having him here. He would like nothing more than to convince you to leave me. What did he say to you? He probably thinks your under some kind of spell… why else would you be here? That is what they all think."

"Fuck what they think. I'm still here. I'm right here and I'm not leaving. That's what matters, doesn't it? That we're happy and healthy together…"

Natasha sighed, "People being opposed to a marriage or relationship is nothing new here on Midgard, Loki. If it's not a disgruntled ex, it's a father who thinks no one is good enough for his little girl…or a mother who thinks every woman who comes near her son is a slut. I think the whole 'us against the world' element adds a bit of romance."

She smiled hopefully at him and stood, cautiously moving toward him, "You're my life. You and Anya. I'm happy. Aren't you?"

"I'm very happy, my little spider," Loki whispered as he let the dagger in his hand dissipate. "I've never been happier. I'm not used to it I, I guess. I'm more accustomed to pain and disappointment. When I saw him standing there it just… I don't want to lose you… nothing would hurt more than that."

Natasha held out her hand to him, "I'm not going anywhere. Come here…haven't you learned by now to stay out of your own head? You swore I could never love you…I did. You swore having your child would be this horrible, life-threatening experience and it was the best experience of my life…you thought your child would look part Jotunn…but she's a precious little red head who obviously has your penchant for mischief…stay outta your mind and stay in my arms."

"You're right, my little spider," Loki smiled as he leaned in for a tender kiss while he wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I always get in trouble when I think too much. I have you and Anya and nothing else matters. Nothing can take the two of you away from me. I love you, Natalia."

Loki did his best not to worry about the future. He spent his time enjoying life with his wife and daughter. He was happy and with each passing day he felt more and more secure in their life together. He had a feeling of peace. Something he never knew in his entire life not even in his days before discovering his true parentage. Loki had always felt out of place but now he felt at home. His good mood was scarcely interrupted except for his assignments for Shield. He didn't enjoy working with the Avengers any more than they wanted him around. He did his job and then came home. It was during one of these missions that an explosion broke out in the building they were in. Loki was located by Shield operatives under a large pile of rubble, unconscious and unresponsive.


	11. Chapter 11

Natasha burst through the infirmary doors, pushing past medical personnel and SHIELD agents with little more than a powerful shove. She had to leave Anya with the nanny when she'd received the phone call no wife wants to hear.

"He's hurt…and he's not waking up."

No. No. No.

Loki was a god. He wasn't supposed to get hurt…not seriously, at least. Her determined steps were halted in front of Fury and Steve. They stood in front of a door which she knew Loki was behind.

"Is he awake yet?" she asked quickly as she made a move to walk past them.

"Not yet. That's why the docs are worried. He's supposed to have rapid healing…and the fact that he's still unconscious makes them believe that the injury to his head was severely traumatic" said Fury evenly.

Steve stepped forward timidly, "They said there's no way to know for sure how he'll come out of this…if he comes out of this."

Natasha looked up at Steve and shook her head, refusing to believe there was a chance that her husband wouldn't make it. She walked into the room and sat at his bedside, staring at his frighteningly still frame. He was so quiet…

Slowly, she reached to take his hand, "You're going to make it through, Loki…my love…I know you will. Come back to me…"

Loki remained unconscious for four weeks without the slightest change in his condition. To the outside world it was almost as if he was sleeping. To the young god it was like a black hole. There were no dreams or thoughts just a dark empty space as if he were lost in a fog. Then suddenly his body began to awaken. His eyes fluttering and squinting against the sudden sensation of light. He heard a woman's voice. It was soothing but he didn't recognize it as his eyes began to focus. She was very pretty, was his first thought as she called his name. She seemed very happy that he was awake.

Loki moved his head gingerly to look around the room. This place was strange. He didn't recognize it at all. It looked like he was in the infirmary but this wasn't the rooms of the Royal healers. Where in the name of Hell was he? He began to panic as he tried to sit up.

"Where am I?" he asked the woman sitting at his side.

Natasha has tears in her eyes. Finally…after one long month of hell, her love was back. He was awake. Everyone has warned her to give up hope, but she refused and split her time between the facility and home, often bringing Anya up for visits.

She gingerly put a hand on his shoulder, "Loki…shhh…it's alright, my love. You're safe. You're in the infirmary."

Natasha was so overwhelmed with happiness, she leaned forward to kiss his lips, "I missed you so…"

Loki backed away from her as she leaned closer to him like she was going to kiss him. She was quite beautiful and normally he wouldn't pass up a kiss from a pretty woman but he was confused. What did she mean she missed him? He had never seen her before.

"Where's my mother?" Loki inquired as he tried to get out of the bed. "And Thor? Why aren't either of them here?"

Natasha blinked rapidly and furrowed her brows when he moved away from her. When he began asking about his mother and Thor, she realized he must be slightly disoriented.

"Thor is probably eating…or sleeping. He's visited you every day. Your mother is still in Asgard. I can call the nanny and have her bring Anya up. She's gotten so big…but I took plenty of pictures so it'll be like you didn't miss a day."

"My mother is in Asgard? Well, where in the name of Hel am I? And how did I get here?" Loki gaped as he looked around the room once more. He didn't like this. Something felt very wrong. He rested his head in his hands as he tried to think of the last thing he remembered doing before he woke up but his mind was blank. He looked toward the woman at his side, running his hand through his long, black locks in frustration. "Who is Anya? And who are you? I need my brother. You said he was here somewhere. Well, go get him. I want Thor."

Natasha's world cracked in two. He didn't remember her. He didn't remember their daughter. Tears formed in her eyes as her heart began beating painfully in her chest. She didn't know what to say or do, so she slowly got up and moved out of the room, "I'll…I'll go get him."

As soon as she was outside of the door, she fell to her knees in tears. She had Loki back…but this wasn't her Loki. What if he wanted to go back to Asgard? What if he didn't want her and Anya?

She explained the situation to Thor and brought him back into the room with her.

"Brother. I am very happy to see you awake…so is Natasha. Are you certain you do not remember her? Look closely."

Loki gazed at the woman at Thor's side for a moment. Her long red curls and deep blue eyes, she looked sad. He didn't know her. Why would his brother think that he should? "Natasha? That doesn't sound familiar to me at all. Should it? What are we doing here, brother? And where is this exactly? Why am I in this bed? What is going on?"

"We are in Midgard, Loki," Thor responded but he could tell that he was hesitant to say more. "You.. You were in an explosion… you were injured."

"Why are we in Midgard? Does father know we are here? Why don't I remember coming?" Loki puzzled as he tried once more to remember. "The last thing I can think of… you were talking about taking a trip to Vanaheim… to see our cousins. How did we end up here?"

"You've been in Midgard for a while now, brother," Thor replied softly. He could tell that he was hiding something. "Are you sure you don't remember anything else. Natasha doesn't seem familiar to you at all?"

"Why do you keep bringing her up?" Loki turned his gaze back to the young woman. "How do you know me?"

Thor glanced at Natasha and gave her a slow, sad nod. She shook her head and fled from the room. Thor would later find her, the mighty Black Widow cowering inside of a bathroom, bawling her eyes out.

Thor joined her and leaned against the opposite wall, "It appears he doesn't remember anything. Not the revelation of his true parentage. Nothing about my father's Odinsleep…nothing about the Chitauri…he is the Loki I once knew…and I am deeply sorry for that now, seeing how it affects you and how it will, most undoubtedly, affect my dear niece."

Natasha sniffled, "I don't know what to do…what if he doesn't want me? What if he doesn't want our daughter?"

"Let us tell him together. Come."

A couple of minutes later, they returned to Loki's room.

Loki watched as they returned to the room. It was obvious that the woman that his brother had referred to as Natasha had been crying. He wasn't sure what he had done to upset her but he felt bad even though he didn't know why. It wasn't his fault if she thought he was supposed to know her.

"Are you ready to answer my questions now, brother?" the young god inquired hopefully.

"You've been living on Midgard for a few years now, Loki," Thor began slowly. "You work for an organization named SHIELD. Does that name mean anything to you?"

"SHIELD?" Loki shook his head. He had never heard the name before. "Work? Eh heh heh heh heh, I work for this SHIELD. Whatever for? Eh heh heh heh, please brother, is this some sort of joke? Pray tell what work does a Prince of Asgard do for these Midgardians?"

Thor turned toward Natasha with a solemn look on his face. "I don't know how to do this," he murmured before turning back to his brother. "Loki, you help them defend their world… with any issues they have regarding any beings from other realms."

"Is that how you know me?" Loki probed as he focused his emerald gaze to the red-headed woman standing so quietly at Thor's side. "Do you work for this SHIELD, too?"

"I do…not much anymore, but I used to be one of their main operatives. That was how you and I originally met…actually. After a series of very complicated events…I became your wife. And we have a daughter. She's five months old…her name is Anya. You've been in Midgard for close to three years, Loki…the accident you were in stole your memories of the last 5 years…at least. I wish there was an easier way to tell you, but there's not. I'm sorry…" she said softly.

"My wife? This is… this isn't funny, Thor," Loki remarked as he turned back to his brother. Married! There was no way that he would get married, least of all to a Midgardian. "Whose idea was this elaborate farce anyway.. Fandral?"

"It's not a trick, Loki," Thor insisted as he took a step closer and placed a hand gently along his shoulder. "Everything we've said is true. Loki, you don't remember the last five years but a lot happened during that time. She is your wife and you love her and your daughter very much."

"Why would father even allow it? You know how he feels about Midgardians," Loki insisted. He rubbed his fingers against his temples. How could he have a wife and not know it? A wife and children, he never wanted either of those things. He enjoyed his freedom.

"You and Father have not spoken much in the last five years," Thor admitted cautiously. "Brother, there are things that happened that may be difficult for you to hear."

"Because I came to Midgard?" Loki questioned in bewilderment. "I don't understand. Was I banished here or something? Is he angry with me? Why am I not in Asgard? What haven't you told me?" Thor bowed his head slightly as he seemed to be trying to find the right words to answer his question but the young god was becoming impatient. He turned toward Natasha. "You're supposedly my wife so you must know. Why am I here? Why aren't I home?"

Natasha sat down in the chair beside his bed and clasped her hands together as she let out a deep breath. She knew he didn't want to be lied to anymore, so she decided to speak the truth. That was what he deserved at this point.

"Loki…you told me once that, in your family, you always felt like you didn't belong. There is a reason for that. Loki…you're adopted." She was careful not to reveal his true parentage as she explained the story of what happened when he found out about his adoption. She then explained his connection to Thanos and the Chitauri…the deal he made with SHIELD, and how they fell in love, got married and had Anya.

"So I found out I was adopted and then I joined up with some creature to take over your realm but ended up making a deal to guard it instead? Does that about some it up? My reaction to the news seems a little extreme," Loki replied flippantly as he shook his head in disbelief. The young god stared into his brother's eyes. He could tell by the look on his face that every word was true. "I sound like a crazy person. There's more to it, isn't there, brother? I'm not Odin's son? Well, whose son am I, Thor?"

"It doesn't matter, brother, I'll tell you but first I want you to know that it doesn't matter who your biological parents were," Thor entreated as he stared down at him solemnly. "Mother and Father and I love you dearly. We are your family."

"Why do I get the feeling that I don't want to know who they are?" Loki replied nervously. He thought about what she had said about the things that he had done after finding out that he was adopted. The truth must be something truly awful.

"You were upset that Father kept the truth from you but he only did that to protect you. You found out by accident and it was difficult for you to accept." Thor continued. "But we are your family, brother. Nothing will ever change that."

"Well something must have changed it because you just finished telling me that I haven't spoken to him in five years?" Loki snapped angrily. "Just tell me. Go ahead, Thor, just get it over with."

"Your biological parents are Jotunn," Thor divulged quietly.

Loki stared in shock for a moment as he tried to process what he had just been told. "Can you both please leave me alone? I just… I want to be alone."

Natasha slowly stood before filing out of the room with Thor. As soon as the door was closed behind the thunder god, Natasha collapsed against his chest, sobbing. She usually wasn't one for hugs, but right now, she needed someone's support. This was awful. Loki was there…but he wasn't there. That wasn't her husband.

Thor patted her back, "We must never give up hope, Lady Natasha. He may yet begin to remember his life with you…with his daughter. I am truly sorry. I am. I will help him through this as best I can. I promise."

Natasha sniffled and wiped at her eyes as she nodded her head and straightened, "I'm sure he'd rather have you around than me…I remember how adamantly against marriage and family Loki was before…there's a chance he might not want us."

Thor shook his head, "You mustn't think that way. Stay positive. Stay hopeful. I will stay with him…you go home to Anya. I will contact you on your mobile device should he require your return."

An hour later, Natasha held her daughter in her arms, gently bouncing her as she paced back and forth in the nursery. She smiled down at her daughter through her tears, admiring the infant's dark green eyes.

Loki lied on the bed staring up at the ceiling as he tried to comprehend everything he had learned. The woman was right. He had always felt out of place. His interests never aligned with the rest of his peers. And the Fates knew that he always felt second place to Thor in his father's eyes no matter what he did. He heard the click of the door as his brother returned to the room.

"Didn't I say I wanted to be alone," the young god snipped as he turned to face in the opposite direction so that his back was facing the thunder god.

"Well, I've learned from last time that you might say it but you don't really mean it, brother," Thor admonished as he sat down in a chair at his side.

"I'm a frost giant? How can that be?" Loki bemoaned as he stared out toward the window.

"It is just a name. You are still you, brother. Aesir, Vanir, Jotunn. It doesn't matter, Loki," the thunder god insisted. "You should try speaking to your wife. I have never seen you happier than when you were with her and your daughter. Perhaps, if you were to see her it might spark a memory for you."

"No… I definitely don't want to do that. I'm not the fathering type," Loki stated coldly, his dark green eyes unmoving as he continued to stare ahead.

"You are a father and a good one, Loki," Thor reiterated. "You have made a nice life for yourself here. At least speak to Lady Natasha for a little bit. Maybe it will help you remember." The young god gave him a shrug which his brother obviously took for acquiescence. "I will have her stop by in the morning."

Thor called her and told her to come by in the morning. She hardly got a wink of sleep that night, alternating between staring at her daughter in her crib and holding Loki's pillow tight against her chest, weeping for him.

The next morning, she brought the nanny and her daughter up to the facility. She nervously took Anya from the woman and softly knocked on the door before waiting to be granted permission to enter.

She heard him stoically say "enter", prompting her to open the door and walk in. Natasha tried to remain strong as he regarded her and their daughter with a hard, cold stare. She looked down at Anya in an effort to keep from crying, "Thor told me I could come up today…and bring Anya…"

The infant cooed softly and chewed on her fingers before idly reaching an uncoordinated hand in her father's direction. She smiled a toothless grin and babbled softly before turning her attention toward a ringlet of her mother's hair.

Loki had specifically told Thor that he did not want to see the baby; the oaf couldn't get anything right. His dark green eyes took in the two people before him. His wife and daughter, apparently and yet they were total strangers. It made him uncomfortable.

"Your name is Natasha? Is that right?" Loki inquired stoically. "I'm sorry but it doesn't sound familiar to me. Your daughter is very cute. She looks like you."

Natasha sucked in a shuddering breath and held it as she attempted to suppress the pain in her chest. That hurt a lot more than she expected. He was so cold…

Before she could stop it, a tear drifted down her cheek as she softly released the breath and nodded, gently bouncing the baby on her hip, "Thank you. She has your eyes, actually…."

"I'm sorry, Natasha. It's just… I don't remember. It's not personal or anything." Loki revealed as he noted the tear that ran down her cheek. "A nurse left me that this morning," he advised as he pointed to a gold band that rested on the small dresser beside the bed. "Apparently I was wearing it when I arrived and they take off your jewelry when you're… well, she gave it back to me. Thor thought that maybe talking to you might spark something. So what did we use to talk about, pet. Eh heh heh heh. This is just so weird."

Natasha slowly sat down in the chair across from his bed before reaching out to pick up his wedding ring. She stared down at it for a few minutes before forcing herself to meet his eyes. Natasha gathered enough strength to put on a brave smile as she slid his ring onto her thumb.

"Um…we talked about everything…you always called me pet…" she said with a soft sigh. "We played cards. I'd practice kick boxing while you practiced throwing daggers. You used your magic to make our clothes disappear when we made love…" her voice trailed off as she got lost within the pleasant memories, but her daughter's firm yank on her hair brought her back to reality.

"You are very beautiful. I have no problem believing that I would have set my sights on you, pet. But to be honest I've never been a one woman man," Loki advised as he leaned back against the headboard of the bed. "The idea of being married was never very appealing. Obviously, I changed my mind. Except at the moment my mind is still unchanged. This must be as awkward for you as it is for me." The young god exhaled softly. "How long were we together before I asked you to marry me?"

"It's not so much awkward for me…it's actually really heartbreaking. I loved you more deeply than I ever thought I could love another. This is very hard for me…and I know it's nothing personal. Sadly, that doesn't make this hurt any less", she whispered as she lowered her head to kiss the top of her daughter's red curls.

Natasha bit her lip and looked up at him, "I'd lived with you for almost a year and a half. I was pregnant with Anya…when I asked you."

"You asked me? Eh heh heh heh, well I guess that makes sense. And did I say yes right away?" Loki smiled softly before sitting back up on the bed. It was weird to have to talk about himself in the third person.

Natasha nodded as she smiled at the memory, "Yes. You were surprised that I asked you…you see, our origins aren't very traditional. When you made your agreement with SHIELD to work with them, they gave you a mansion, servants, cars, immunity and a load of cash. They also gave you me…"

"What do you mean by 'they gave me you'?" Loki puzzled as his dark green eyes narrowed in confusion. He wasn't sure he liked the way that sounded.

Natasha sighed and shifted Anya's weight on her lap, "You requested me. You said the deal wouldn't be made unless you had me. You wanted me to give myself to you. I guess you saw something in me that you liked…so when I first moved into your house, I hated you and I think you hated me. You reminded me that you owned me and took my body whether I was willing or not…you often attempted to humiliate me if I acted in a way you disapproved of…you slept with other women, sometimes flaunting it in my face…I hit you, spat at you, defied you every step of the way."

Natasha lowered her eyes, "…and then, after revelations on both of our parts, we stopped fighting each other…you showed me kindness and began to very slowly open yourself up to what we felt for each other. You took care of me when I got ill…I would sometimes wake up to find you stroking my hair and holding me close. We fell in love, Loki."

"What a prince… no wonder you asked me to marry you," Loki bit off sarcastically. That didn't sound like him. Not a him that he ever cared to know. "I don't understand that… why would I do that? I've never needed to force a woman to be with me."

"You did it because you recognized yourself in me. You saw me as a challenge. I wasn't some passive woman who you could entertain with a few magic tricks and charm with your smile. I'm the Black Widow, Loki. When I interrogated you, I beat you at your own game. I was able to match your wit and intellect…and I don't think any woman had ever done that before…I also resisted you. Which I suppose made me all the more alluring…"

Natasha sighed and reached into the diaper bag she had flung across her body, grabbing the never-used cover-up and draping it over her daughter and her chest before discreetly opening her shirt to allow the infant access to her breast.

"It was a while before we fell in love…but when we did…we fell hard…and I've never looked back…"

"I can't imagine how you could love someone who could do that to you," Loki replied as he turned his gaze toward the open window. "I can't imagine being so obsessed that I would turn a free woman into a slave. It just doesn't sound like me. Tell me, Natasha. The baby was that your idea or mine. I know it wasn't an accident. Was it some new way for me to control you in my obviously warped reasoning?"

Natasha kissed her daughter's temple, "Actually, no. She was my idea. I begged you to get me pregnant. It took six months for us to finally end our stalemate and for you to give me her…I always wanted to be a mother. You gave that to me."

"Well, I suppose it was the least I could do after everything else," Loki remarked dryly as he turned his gaze back to her and her baby. "It seems to me the majority of these last five years I should be grateful that I don't remember. Thor tells me that I was the happiest that he'd ever seen me when I was with you. I wouldn't mind remembering that but I'm sorry, Natasha, I don't."

Natasha nodded slowly as she finished nursing her daughter and covered herself. She didn't know what she hoped happened from their meeting…but it certainly didn't include this ache in her chest.

"I know you don't remember. I was just hoping that something…anything…would possibly trigger your memory", she said softly. "It was a fool's hope, I guess."

After a few moments of silence, she spoke to him without looking up from her daughter's bright face, "I suppose you don't want us anymore?"

"I know it must feel like that to you," Loki replied softly, his lips pursed in contemplation. He felt bad for her. But it wasn't his fault that he couldn't remember. "It's not that I don't want you… I don't know you. I just met you yesterday. I mean you seem very nice and you're incredibly beautiful. It's obvious that you care about me."

Natasha nodded again and slowly stood, "I understand…thank you for your time."

She was able to make it home before completely breaking into sobs. She couldn't believe what was happening. Just when they'd truly been happy. It wasn't fair….

Natasha didn't go back up to the facility for days. She concentrated on taking care of her daughter by herself since she knew that's how it might be forever…

Loki was standing by the window of his room as he gazed outside. He had been informed by the nurse that he was going to be released today. He wasn't exactly sure what that meant for him. If his father hadn't spoken to him in five years, he somehow doubted that he would be welcomed back in Asgard. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to be there. He wasn't sure about much of anything. He was afraid of how the Aesir would treat him knowing that he was Jotunn. But he had no idea where else he could go. And at least he could be with people he knew instead of surrounded by strangers.

Thor entered the room in his usual good humor, wishing him a good morning in his booming voice. "I was told you are well enough to go home, brother."

"Do you think Father will allow it?" Loki inquired as he turned away from the window, his dark green eyes focusing on his brother hopefully.

"You wish to return to Asgard?" Thor asked with surprise in his voice.

"What did you mean by home?" the young god puzzled.

"I meant your home here, of course, brother." The thunder god divulged. "You have responsibilities here. You can't just leave."

"You mean the house that I have never seen with the woman that I don't know and the child that I didn't want," Loki snipped as he plopped down on the chair dejectedly. "I had hoped perhaps I could see Mother. You said that my being… you know… you said it didn't matter, that you were still my family. If that's true then why can't I go back?"

"Loki, you committed crimes and part of your deal, your amnesty was to work for Shield." Thor advised as he sat down at the edge of the bed. "You can't just leave."

"Why? What are they going to do follow me to another realm so they can drag me back?" Loki bit off irritably. "What do I care about Midgardian justice."

"It was part of your amnesty for Asgard, too, brother," Thor sighed. "Loki, I will talk to the All-Father. Perhaps, he will agree that you have paid your debt and bring you home if that's truly what you want. But in the meantime, let me bring you to the mansion. Maybe being there will help you remember?"


	12. Chapter 12

Anya was just a few weeks away from starting solids, so Natasha had stopped by the farmer's market in an effort to load up on all sorts of fruits and veggies that she could steam, puree and freeze for later. She needed to keep herself busy.

The servants around the house had become go-to tasters for food that normally she and Loki would have eaten together, but instead, she would call the nanny, butler or maid in to come fix themselves a plate. Once, Natasha accidentally fixed two plates and even set them on the table. When she realized her mistake, she cried for nearly two hours and threw the food away.

It hurt too badly.

She was in the middle of pureeing carrots when she heard the doorbell ring. Natasha glanced over at the nanny, then smiled a bit at Anya in her high chair and raised her eyebrows, "Must be a delivery…"

She allowed the butler to get it as she continued adding carrots to the blender. Suddenly, Thor's booming voice echoed through the house. She let the nanny keep watch over her daughter as she stepped out into the hall and walked to the main door. She was surprised to see Loki with Thor, but by the look on his face, she could tell that the young god was not there on his own volition.

"Hi…I…I wasn't expecting you."

"Good afternoon, Lady Natasha," Thor smiled. Loki nodded to her casually as his dark green eyes surveyed his surroundings. It was quite massive. A far cry from the tiny hospital room that he had been in since he woke up. "Loki was released from the infirmary today. He has not yet been given clearance to return to active duty but they said that he could come home." The thunder god patted him on the back thoughtfully. "I shall check on you in a few days, brother."

"Days? Why days?" Loki probed. He was not looking forward to staying here. He felt awkward around her.

Thor pulled him a few feet away as he whispered softly so that only he could hear. "You know our father; it will take a little preparation before I can ask him." He smiled thoughtfully as he prepared to leave. "Try and relax, brother, this is your home."

Loki watched his brother exit before finally turning back to the red haired beauty at his side. "So… I guess you're stuck with me for a bit, pet."

Natasha nodded slowly and cleared her throat, "There's…um…through this door is a basement. There's a bedroom, bathroom…and the kitchen is back here. I know you didn't want to be bothered by us, so…if you need anything, there's a butler…"

She lowered her head and slowly walked back to the kitchen. She forced a brave smile on her face for Anya, who was sitting in her high chair clapping and smiling.

Natasha hoped that the baby girl didn't realize the turmoil that surrounded her. She was doing her best to remain positive through this. She only hoped that things would get easier as time passed. She hoped it would hut less…

"What is it you're doing there, pet?" Loki inquired as he followed her into the kitchen. She was placing pieces of carrot in some strange machine. He didn't really have much interest in the answer but the prospect of going into the basement to sit in yet another bedroom did not appeal to him at all.

"I'm making food for Anya. I am steaming and pureeing the vegetables so that I can freeze them for later" she said softly as she blended the carrots. After storing the mixture in the freezer, she walked back to Anya and picked her up, "We're right off of the beach if you want to go for a walk. We have a gym downstairs and there's a library two doors down to your left. Did you want to see upstairs?"

Loki nodded as he followed her up the stairs. The tiny little girl smiling at him over her shoulder. She was quite cute and he couldn't help but grin back at her. "There are a lot of rooms. Did I have many guests?" He asked as he gazed into the nursery while she laid her down, he assumed for a nap.

Natasha led him out of the room and to the master bedroom, "No, actually…well…aside from one. Lorelei…who I'm sure you remember. She slept in your bed."

"Yes, I remember Lorelei," Loki mused as he gazed around the large master suite. "She stayed here with me? Eh heh heh heh, obviously before we were married. She must have thought I went bonkers when she heard the news." He walked around the room, trailing his finger along the dresser before moving toward the large windows along the far wall. "And this is where we slept? This is my bed?"

Natasha nodded and crossed her arms as she sat down on the edge of the bed, "Our bed…"

"It kind of reminds me of my bed at home," Loki mused as he strutted forward so that he was standing in front of her. "And the dresser, too. I suppose that's why I picked it. Did I ever talk about Asgard with you? Did I miss it?"

Natasha stared up at him, suddenly nervous. This wasn't her Loki…she felt confused…

She shifted slightly on the bed, "You didn't talk about it a lot…but I could tell that you did miss it. I remember you once telling Anya you wanted to take her back to meet her grandmother…"

"Did I visit my mother often? At all?" Loki inquired. He missed his mother very much. She was the only person that never made him feel different or second place. He still could not completely wrap his head around the idea that she didn't give birth to him. "I would really like to see her. I know Thor said that I hadn't spoken to my father but he never really mentioned Mother."

"There was a time when you and I weren't getting along very well…and you disappeared for a few days at a time. It's possible you did during those times, but other than that, I don't think you could return to Asgard for long periods of time."

Natasha ran a hand through her red curls and looked around, "So…this place doesn't trigger any memories, huh?"

"No, I don't recall ever being in this room before," Loki advised as he moved to sit down on the mattress. "The entire house is new to me. And yet, I guess I slept in this bed every night, huh? I wish I could remember something. It's just so odd. It's like one minute I was in Asgard and then the next I woke up here. There's nothing in between. I know it's disappointing for you, pet, and I'm sorry."

Natasha looked down at her hands as they rested on her lap. She sighed softly and shook her head, "It's more than disappointing, Loki…it's heartbreaking." She shifted to look him square in the eyes as she allowed the memories to play before her eyes, "There was so much in between…there was laughter…fighting…crying…" She paused and reverently stroked the surface of the mattress they sat upon, "There was love…intense, world-changing, transforming love…"

"To be honest I don't think I've ever loved any woman especially not the way you are describing," Loki divulged as he gazed into her dark blue eyes. "I guess that's why I married you. I never really thought that I would do that but I obviously must have felt the way you do. I'm sorry that I don't remember, Natasha."

"I'm sorry too…" she said, looking down. Natasha looked back up and sighed, "I know there's a good chance that you'll go back to Asgard…I just…if you do leave, I want you to know that I'll always love you. No matter what. Forever."

"There's a lot of love in your eyes for me," Loki mused as he twisted his finger around a loose curl of her hair. "I don't think I've ever seen a woman look at me that way. But it's not really for me though? I mean… I'm not really the same, am I?"

Natasha stared into his eyes as he twirled her hair. It was something he'd done a million times before. A sweet, simple gesture of affection that reminded her that he truly did care for her.

She smiled sadly at him, "No…it's not the same. There's no love in your eyes for me."

"How can there be, pet, I don't know you," Loki admitted solemnly. "And now I've probably hurt you again and I truly don't want to. It's frustrating not remembering. I honestly wish I could."

Natasha forced herself to smile, "I know. The very fact that you wish you could remember us makes me feel like you kind of still care."

"I feel bad that you are hurting so I suppose I do care in some way," Loki revealed, feeling suddenly awkward as he gazed into her eyes. He scooted further along the bed, putting distance between them as he lay down on the mattress completely. His eyes trained on the ceiling above him.

"This is how I spent my evenings in my old bed in Asgard. Well when I wasn't with a woman, eh heh heh heh. I spent a lot of time staring at the ceiling and thinking. And when my thoughts became too much for me I did this." With a slight flick of his wrist, a book appeared in his hands as he settled back against the headboard and crossed his legs as if he were about to read. "'Was I very different when I shared this bed with you?" His emerald eyes sparkling up at her mischievously and a sideways smile playing against his lips.

Natasha chuckled softly and shook her head, "Well, after…yes. You didn't leave much time for reading in bed. You were insatiable."

"Insatiable?" Loki grinned widely, his tongue playing lightly against his teeth as his dimples deepened. "Eh heh heh heh, yes… that sounds like me. Especially for a woman as beautiful as you." He closed the book and set it on the dresser as he continued to gaze at her. His dark green eyes observing her closely. She truly was exquisite. "I doubt there was a room in the house where you were safe from my advances, pet," he winked playfully.

Natasha smiled and laughed softly as she ran a hand through her red curls and nodded, "You are actually right about that. I'm fairly certain we christened every surface of this place. I'd be in the kitchen cooking…and the next thing I know, your arms would snake around my waist and I'd end up dropping what I was doing…."

Loki licked his lips expectantly as he sat up more fully. "If I'd met you under different circumstances seducing you would be my utmost top priority, pet." The young god mused with a devilish glint in his eyes. "Although from what you've told me of our beginnings, it seems you are very much immune to my charms so I suppose its best that I refrain before I end up with a wounded ego. Eh heh heh heh but the thought does cross my mind."

A soft chuckle escaped her lips as she shook her head, "I always found you attractive, Loki. Even when I supposedly hated you. You always made me weak in the knees."

Loki slowly stood up from the bed, his dark green eyes gazing at her wantonly as he walked around the mattress until he was standing in front of her again. "Weak in the knees… that sounds promising, darling," he mused in his sultry accent. "If things weren't so complicated, I'd love to see just how true that is, pet." He knew that he couldn't really make a move on her. It would be cruel to give her false hope that he might remember. Still his eyes couldn't help but linger on her soft pink lips that seemed to be aching to be kissed.

Natasha stood up, her face mere inches from his as she leaned up to bury her face in the crook of his neck. She cautiously moved her hands upwards to gently hold his face to hers as she nuzzled him, drinking in his smell and the feel of his face.

She had missed him so desperately.

Natasha's body trembled in need against his as she closed her eyes and breathed his name. She just needed to feel him close by again…if only for a little while.

Loki cautiously placed his arms around her. He could feel her body trembling against him, his own breath quickening at her nearness. He knew that he should probably step away from her. But he didn't want to and he had never been very good at doing things that he didn't want to do. No matter how wrong his needs were. He tilted his head slightly, brushing his mouth against her cheek, moving slowly toward her ear as his lips grazed along her soft flesh. She was incredibly beautiful. He had thought so the moment that he had opened his eyes in the hospital room. He couldn't deny that he desired her.

Natasha turned her head, capturing his lips in a searing kiss as she sensually pressed herself against him. She knew this wasn't her Loki. This wasn't the man who loved her…but this was all she had.

The moment her lips touched his, he became lost in the delectable flavor of her mouth, the sensation of her luscious body pressed so close to him. He wasn't prepared for the intensity and desperation that he felt. He could feel the pulse of the blood in his veins and the hammering of his heart against his chest. He couldn't stop touching her as his hands moved up and down her torso. The more he kissed her, the more he hungered for her. "You have the sweetest lips, Natalia," he breathed in between kisses as he lowered her onto the mattress. He wanted her. He couldn't remember ever wanting a woman more.

Natasha broke the kiss and stared up into his eyes before whispering, "You called me Natalia…how did you know to call me Natalia?"

"What? I.. I… I'm not sure… I just… I wasn't thinking," Loki gasped between ragged breaths. His entire body seemed to ache from the loss of her lips. "You just felt so good and… I don't know I just said it… it just felt right… I'm confused." He fell back against the bed as his eyes gazed up at the ceiling. "Did I use to call you that? Why would I call you Natalia if your name is Natasha?"

Natasha stared off in the distance as she spoke, "It was my name before I was unmade…it is the name you say actually suits me. You typically say it while we're making love."

She ran a hand through her hair, "I know you say you don't remember anything, but it's obvious you have something in your head…first you immediately call me pet, then you call me Natalia…and the kiss…tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed."

"I felt like I could never get enough of you, pet," Loki divulged as he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. He wasn't sure where that name came from. He had no memory of calling her that. He had no memory of her at all. "Like everything faded away and there was just you and this desperate need to have you. That's what I felt when we kissed."

Natasha nodded and looked down as she stood up from the bed and moved toward the window.

"That's how it was between us when we were together. Nothing else in the world mattered. Everything else ceased to exist and we were all there was."

"I'm sorry I ruined the moment," Loki exhaled as he stood from the bed. He was disappointed that she had moved away from him but he realized it was for the best. "I think I'm going to go check out my room and… eh heh heh heh take a nice cold shower. Maybe take a walk on the beach or something. Thank you for showing me around, pet."

Natasha nodded and watched as he walked out of the room. That night, Anya had a tough time falling asleep, so Natasha put the same song she and Loki had danced to all that time ago and slowly moved around the dimly lit library, swaying to the music as her daughters cries slowly died down.

Loki was restless, tossing and turning as he attempted to sleep. It was no use. Not that he was surprised. He had barely slept since he had woken up in the infirmary and learned the truth of his parentage. He got up from bed and moved quietly upstairs in the pair of loose fitting pants that he wore for sleeping. He thought he might pass the late hour checking out the library.

The young god froze in the doorway of the dimly lit room as his dark green eyes fell on her while she held her daughter tenderly in her arms. Her soft red curls falling about her shoulders. Thoughts of their earlier kiss quickly overtaking his mind. He took a deep breath before he turned to leave.

Natasha looked up, "Loki…hey…she um…she likes to dance every now and then. This was the first song you and I danced to."

She idly pressed a kiss to the baby's red curls and nuzzled her head, "I wish you could remember how wonderful a father you were to her…you don't really need to sleep, so on nights when she was really fussy, you'd bring her down here and read to her…sing to her…dance with her…"

"It's hard to picture myself doing any of those things," Loki mused as he took a tentative step into the room. "She seems quite content in your arms. You are obviously a wonderful mother. I didn't mean to disturb you, pet. I was just wandering around… my mind was getting a little crowded… I thought maybe I'd peruse the books."

Natasha smiled a little and nodded, "Yeah…well, you did all of it. Happily, I might add." She stroked Anya's head and closed her eyes, "You always get too far into your head. You think too much and let all of that noise overtake you…"

She moved toward him, "Would you like to hold her?"

"I don't think that would be a very good idea," Loki replied nervously as he watched her move closer to him. He had never held a baby. At least not that he remembered. "She'd probably sense that I'm… you know… not the same."

"Nonsense. Whether you remember or not, she's yours…look at her eyes, Loki."

She handed the baby off as Anya looked up at her father with wide, green eyes, then favored him with a toothless, sleepy grin before laying her head against his chest and rubbing her eyes.

Loki put his arms around the little girl as she rested her head against his bare chest. After a moment his nervousness began to dissipate as he realized that he wasn't going to drop her and she had made no move to wail in protest at being held by him. Unlike her mother, she didn't seem to notice the difference. He moved his fingers gently along her soft red curls as he began to rock carefully back and forth. Her dark green eyes gazing up at him as she continued to rest her head against him. She did have his eyes, he mused to himself as he placed a light kiss along the top of her head.

Loki began to hum a song that his mother used to sing to him when he was a boy. He watched the little girls eyes growing heavier and heavier until she fell into a deep slumber. The young god smiled as he continued to hold her tenderly. He suddenly realized that this little baby didn't care what he remembered or what he didn't. It was a thought that pleased him very much. "She fell asleep," he grinned widely, his dimples deepening as he gazed up at Natasha. "Should I put her in her bed?"

Natasha had quickly wiped away at the tears that had fallen down her face as she nodded. He looked like the man she knew and loved…holding their daughter, he looked like her Loki. As they walked up the stairs, she stood by the door as he lay the infant down in her crib.

When he rejoined her in the hall, she closed the door to the nursery and yanked him to her for a hungry kiss.

"I know you don't remember me…you don't remember what we had…but please…please make love to me" she breathed against his lips as she eagerly pressed her body against his.

Loki kissed her back greedily, that desperate sensation to have her flooding him the moment her mouth touched his. He lifted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist as soft moans escaped her lips, feeding his desires. He swallowed the sound with long, slow kisses as he carried her into the bedroom, collapsing on the mattress.

He slowly began to undo her silk robe, carefully divesting her of her clothing as his lips explored her body, the more he discovered, the more he sought. He hungered for her in a way that he didn't realize was possible. He moved his mouth to the slick, wet heat of her. His eagerness to have her growing to epic proportions as he felt her body erupting in dazzling undulations beneath his lips. He wanted to make her forget about the past, to give her such pleasure that she could focus on nothing but the here and now. So that she wanted nothing else more than the joining of their bodies.

Natasha was delirious with desire by the time he entered her. He felt exquisite…even better than she remembered. She cried his name as their body established a heady, delicious rhythm.

"Loki…yes…oh god…"

The physical connection between them was like nothing he'd ever experienced. She felt incredible, like she was made for him as their bodies moved together in perfect harmony. "Natalia… you feel so good… by the nines," he gasped as they moved together toward the pinnacle of pleasure. "Natalia.. so perfect… Valhalla." He could barely breathe as their bodies shuddered in a frenzy of simultaneous explosions.

Loki collapsed on his back as he fought for his breath. His dark green eyes searching out hers as he captured a lock of her hair between his fingers and smiled.

Natasha curled in close to him, repeatedly pressing kisses to his neck and chest before laying her head against him and closing her eyes. She breathed him in as she idly stroked his skin, "No other man has touched me the way you have…made me feel as desperately attached…when I'm not with you, I ache for you. When we were together, you used to tell me that my body felt like it was made especially for you. I was your gift from Valhalla…your Natalia."

"I felt that… when we were together… like you were made for me, the perfect fit… nothing has ever felt so good. I don't remember before but I did feel it… Natalia," Loki murmured softly as he ran his fingers through her soft, velvety curls. "I can honestly say that I've never wanted a woman to be mine. I can be a very jealous person for things that I feel belong to me, things that I covet.. That I feel I deserve but a woman has never fallen in that category. I enjoyed my freedom and when a lady wasn't in my bed, I didn't really care what she did. That was a problem that came up often with Lorelei. She would try to make me jealous and get angry when I didn't react. When it didn't matter to me. She could only last so long herself before she got possessive and clinging. Either way some time off was always required." He trailed his long, slender fingers in a circular motion along her hip, breathing in her scent as he brushed his lips against the top of her head. "I can see why it was different with you. Why I would have wanted to make you mine. I mean just having you here like this… feels amazing… I like holding you, pet. I like being near you."

Natasha looked up at him with hopeful, pleading eyes. She kissed his lips, "Maybe if you stay…you can understand why you fell in love with me…why you wanted to raise a child with me…maybe you can fall in love with me again? Please don't leave me. I…I don't think I can face losing you…"

"Thor is supposed to be asking my father… well, the All-Father if I can come home," Loki divulged as he gazed into her dark blue eyes. "Part of me is afraid to go back, to be honest. But then part of me can't stand to be here. Such a tiny little realm and in some ways it feels like a prison sentence. I don't know what this SHIELD thing is but I have a feeling I won't like working for them if the time comes. You, on the other hand, pet, are definitely a great incentive for wanting to stay put." An impish smile falling over his lips as his fingers continued to move idly along her body. "I enjoy being with you very much and I wouldn't mind making more memories like tonight but I know you want more. What if I can never give you what you want? What if this is it?"

Natasha kissed him sensually before rolling atop him and desperately pressing herself against him, "I won't lose you again. I don't care. I'd rather have a small part of you than none of you at all…"

She rubbed her body against him provocatively, "I need you…I want you with me…I'll make you never want to leave. I'll make your cock ache for me the way my body aches for you…"

Loki groaned audibly at the feel of her body brushing against his already hardening member. "By the nines, Natalia," he breathed huskily. "My body already aches for you, pet. I've never wanted a woman this badly. I need to be inside of you." He moved his hand between them, his thumb gently stroking her clit. "I want to make you scream," he purred as he claimed her mouth in an erotic kiss.

Natasha wasted no time in sinking down on his hard member. She began rolling her hips in slow, torturous circles as she leaned down and pressed her mouth to his for a fiery, hungry kiss.

"Tell me I'm yours…you know I am…just think about another man touching me…it would drive you crazy, wouldn't it? You don't want to leave me, baby…" she whispered breathlessly against his lips.

"Oh, Natalia," Loki gasped. He watched her move on top of him, riding him with delicious fervor as he thrust up to meet her. "You're so beautiful, darling… you feel so good." His hands moving to cup her voluptuous breasts, his thumbs rolling her nipples gently. He felt an odd feeling bubble up in him at the sound of her words, a possessiveness that he wasn't use to. Another man. It shouldn't bother him. He barely knew her. And yet the feeling simmered beneath the surface as his thrusts became more domineering, his hands moving to her hips. Her body clenching around him, it was almost too much. Nothing had ever felt so good.

Natasha collapsed onto the mattress beside him, panting as she stared up at the ceiling. That night, she fell asleep curled into his side, her arms protectively wrapped around his middle.

Loki awoke the following morning to find himself alone in the bed. He lied there for a moment as he gazed around the room, looking for any feeling of familiarity but nothing came. He dressed himself magically as he sauntered downstairs. Anya was sitting in her highchair as her mother fed her spoonfuls of some cream colored mush which he assumed was once banana's.

"Good morning, pet," he smiled softly as he moved toward them. The little girl smiled at him as she babbled and reached out her hands in his direction. His grin widening as he brushed his fingers along her soft strawberry curls. She was very cute except for her eyes she looked just like her mother. Just a shorter version, he mused to himself. "Hello, shorty," he winked as he tweaked her nose playfully. A slight flash of light caught his eye as he turned toward the living room to see Lorelei appear in its center.


	13. Chapter 13

"No. Fucking. Way."

Those were the only words Natasha could manage when she saw Lorelei appear in her home. She immediately put the bowl of oatmeal down and picked up her daughter, protectively cradling her against her chest.

Panic began to overwhelm her. What if Loki left with her? What if Lorelei convinced Loki that Natasha wasn't good enough for him?

"What are you doing here?!" she spat.

"I came to see Loki," Lorelei said with an extra sweet lilt to her voice which the young god knew meant that she despised Natasha with a vengeance and was attempting to give her the impression that she wasn't jealous of her. It was obvious from Natasha's reaction that the feelings were returned tenfold. "I heard about your accident, love. How are you doing?"

"You came by the BiFrost, did you forget the trick I taught you, pet?" Loki inquired as he moved into the living room. "Or are you afraid of the gatekeeper?"

"Heimdall has been watching Midgard extra closely," She mused. "I didn't want to incur the anger of the All-Father for visiting this realm without permission. But when Thor told us of what happened. I had to come see you for myself, love."

"And how long has it been since we've seen each other exactly, my dear?" Loki inquired curiously. "For me it feels like a few weeks ago."

"So it's true. You lost your memory?" Lorelei contemplated as she brushed her strawberry blonde hair behind her shoulder.

Natasha felt vulnerable and insecure. Two feelings she hated with a passion. She glared at Lorelei, but glanced down at her daughter when she started fussing, "Loki, can I talk to you? In private? Please?"

Loki glanced back at Natasha and nodded. "Certainly, darling," he advised simply before turning his attention back to the sorceress. "Excuse me for a moment, Lorelei."

"Of course, love," She smiled sweetly as she took a seat along the couch. He followed Natasha as she moved up the stairs swiftly toward the nursery.

"I understand that you don't like her, pet," Loki began as they walked through the doorway.

"You don't understand. I came to physical blows with that woman, Loki. She's petty, she's manipulative and she hates me. She's going to try to convince you to leave with her. She's going to try to make you believe what we had wasn't real…"

"I'm quite aware of what Lorelei is capable of. You needn't warn me about her. I've known her for nearly half my life, pet," Loki advised as he gazed at her curiously. They came to physical blows. She must be stronger than the average midgardian or just extremely brave to go up against a sorceress, he contemplated. "It is you that I don't know much about. But I'd like to learn, pet. You needn't worry about her. She is going to be on her best behavior."

"Loki…after what I've dealt with when it comes to her, I do not trust her under the same roof as our innocent daughter. If she stays…I have to go. I refuse to trust her around my baby."

"This is your home and I wouldn't want anyone to chase you out of it, pet," Loki advised. He wondered exactly what LoreLei did that she would think she would do something to her baby. "But I do want to speak with her. We will talk elsewhere and I will see you and Anya in a little bit."

Natasha pulled him to her for a loving kiss before pressing her forehead to his, "Please…Loki…what we had was real…so is what we could have. Don't let her take you away."

"I just want to ask her about my mother. I want to know how she is and well, Thor never really told me. I'd like to know if our relationship is as strained as it is with my father," Loki revealed as he wrapped his fingers around a strawberry ringlet. "I'd like to know about Asgard and I've heard about all these things I've done. I'd like to know her take on it. I know you don't like her but we aren't just ex-lovers… we're friends. I'm not going anywhere, Natalia. I want to get to know you better. And I very much want a repeat of last night, pet." He grinned with a sideways smile.

Natasha smiled, but there was uncertainty behind it. She kissed his lips once more before he left. After putting Anya to bed for the night, she worked out, showered, then paced the house, waiting for his return. It had been too long…"

Loki materialized inside the living room, his dark green eyes immediately falling on Natasha who seemed to be circling the large space. "I'm sorry I was so long, pet. But you'll be happy to know that she has returned to Asgard straightway via the BiFrost. You look very unhappy."

Natasha stared at him, "I…I was worried you wouldn't come back. You took a while and I thought maybe you two were…were…you know…"

Loki enclosed her face in his hands as he leaned down and kissed her softly before gazing into her eyes. "I said I was coming back. Did I lie to you often before that you don't trust my word now?"

Natasha wrapped her arms around him and softly kissed his lips, "You didn't lie…I just…we had a few rough times. And now…you're not in love with me anymore…there's less holding you here."

"Well, I have no desire to go anywhere at the moment." Loki revealed as he held her closely. "I want to be here. I want to get to know you better. I like spending time with you very much, pet."

Natasha kissed him passionately. She smirked against his lips and playfully yanked away as she turned around and pulled off her top, covering her breasts as she took off running.

"If you want me…you're gonna have to come get me…"

Loki grinned widely as he watched her run up the stairs before he used his magic to bring himself into the hallway as she practically ran into him. He lifted her into his arms with a devilish glint in his eyes. "Eh heh heh heh… I like to cheat," He chuckled as he crushed his lips to hers and carried her toward the bedroom.

Natasha giggled against his lips before he tossed her against the mattress. She playfully wrestled against him as she scrambled off of the bed, "Cheater!"

"Eh heh heh heh, yes," He chuckled as he grabbed her hands and pulled her into his lap. "The god of mischief can't be playing by the rules, pet, that would defy the laws of nature, eh heh heh heh." His hand cupping her soft flesh as his lips moved against the soft spot behind her ear. "You taste divine," he breathed against her neck. "I could get addicted to you, pet."

Natasha smiled as she kissed him sweetly on the lips, "I'm already addicted…I love having you inside of me…"

A half hour and one wild round of sex later, they lay on the floor beside the bed, panting. Natasha laughed breathlessly before kissing his neck, "you're amazing."

"I think you're amazing," Loki beamed as he gazed down at her. "The most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He leaned in and kissed her softly, his hand resting against the small of her back. "Tell me more about you, pet. You said something about being unmade. What did you mean by that?"

Natasha stared into his eyes, "I was turned into a machine back in Russia…a spy and assassin. I seduced prominent men, then killed them for assignments. I was brainwashed…then I defected and joined SHIELD…cause they were the good guys…"

She sighed, "A lot of horrible things happened to me in Russia…I got married…got pregnant, but my husband died…and the baby was still born. That's what led to me wanting to have a child of my own so desperately. It took me so long to convince you…"

"I didn't want to have a baby," Loki probed as he played with a strand of her hair between his thumb and forefinger. "What finally made me change my mind?"

Natasha shrugged, "Honestly? I don't know. You just…one day relented as we were making love and gave her to me. It was a beautiful moment….the whole pregnancy was amazing…even the birth. I would have a houseful of your children if I could. I didn't bother you during the pregnancy because I knew you still didn't want a child, but you slowly came around. Feeling her inside of me…the movements, the little hiccups…I never felt closer to you than I did when I was carrying her because I had a part of you inside of me."

"I'm sorry you lost your first child," Loki whispered solemnly as he brushed his lips against her forehead. "And I'm glad I gave you Anya, whatever my reasons were. She is very sweet and you are a wonderful mother. I never intended to have any. I'm not even sure why really. I just… I guess maybe I was always struggling so hard to get my father's attention, to feel like I measured up to him. I figured I would end up doing the same to a child of my own. And now with everything I've learned about myself… well, your daughter is gorgeous and her smile makes me smile. Eh heh heh heh. I'm glad Thor made me come here. I like being here, pet."

"You know, you can call her 'yours'…because she is. She's ours. Yours and mine…and she's the greatest gift anyone has ever given me."

Loki smiled softly. He wasn't ready to say that although he did enjoy spending time with the little girl and he hoped to do more of it. "I didn't get a chance to tell you. You were right; Lorelei did have quite a lot to say about you. She told me in a fit of jealousy that you attacked her with knives… She said I was obsessed with you for some reason that she could not fathom. She said you were manipulative and bossy and treated me horribly. She implored me not to let you pull me back into your web. I have a feeling the knife thing is true." He smirked with a devilish grin. "I'm not sure about the rest… maybe there's a little bit of truth mixed in somewhere probably a lot of embellishment on her part. I only tell you, pet, because I'm sure you're curious and I want you to know that I have no interest in resuming my old liaison with her at the moment and she is aware of that. And she knows not to come into your house uninvited again."

Natasha laughed, "The knife thing is most definitely true…and I can be bossy…but we treated each other horribly for a while. I told you that. It wasn't always easy…but I think that's why our love ran so deep…that's why we were so desperate for each other…"

"Desperate for each other, yes. That I already feel," Loki mused as he began placing a series of kisses along her neck. "Tomorrow, I'd like you to take me someplace, pet. You know somewhere that the three of us enjoyed going together. I'm curious and perhaps it would spark something."

Natasha smiled and nodded, "I know just the place…"

The next day, Natasha took Loki to the diner where they went out for their first date. She ordered all the same food and smiled at him across the table, "After we ate here, we made out in the car…it was fun."

Loki smiled as she recounted the memory of their evening together. He couldn't remember anything though and it frustrated him. Nothing about the place seemed familiar. "I wonder why I never took the two of you to see my mother?" the young god mused as he took a bite of his meal. "I know you said I mentioned taking Anya. But I didn't actually do it. That puzzles me. Lorelei told me that my mother and I are still very close. I didn't go to Asgard very often because of my work with SHIELD and my apparent dislike for my father. But I frequently made arrangements to visit her in Vanaheim even if it was just for an afternoon."

Natasha shrugged slightly, "I'm not sure. I think, initially, you felt betrayed by everyone except Thor, since he didn't know you were adopted either…you had to forgive them for lying to you. It took time to heal, I think. But you love your mother, and she loves you. I'm glad you remember that no matter what."

"I definitely want to see her," Loki advised as he stared at his plate. "When Thor returns I want to make arrangements to do so no matter what my father's decision is. Lorelei said that our relationship is unchanged which pleases me to hear but I'd like to see it for myself. She told me some things that Thor failed to mention like the fact that I can change my appearance at will. I haven't actually tried it. I'm not sure if I would ever want to see it. And the names of my birth parents." He lifted his gaze back to her as he set down his fork. "It seems I was a prince, after all. The prince of monsters. Eh heh heh heh. She also told me that he died at my hands."

Natasha clasped her hands together and leaned forward, "Loki…you are not a monster. A monster is something we all have the capacity to choose to be. I chose to be one for a while…just because I didn't have the blue skin and red eyes doesn't mean that I was any less of one…from what I hear, Laufey was a monster."

"Laufey was a name I feared since I was a little boy," Loki revealed as he leaned back against his seat. "She told me that he left me to die in a temple. So I suppose it is fitting that I killed him. She said that I believed that my father only rescued me for some political maneuver. That he never really cared for me. She said that is why we don't speak."

Natasha nodded a bit, "Well, what do you feel now? Do you think that's true?"

She reached over and laid a hand on top of his, "I've never met Odin…or Frigga. I would like it if she could meet Anya."

"I don't know… maybe it had something to do with how I found out originally that I believed that so strongly. I mean… I always felt second place in his eyes… like he was disappointed that I wasn't more like Thor but I never thought he didn't love me at all. I wanted his approval more than anything… to somehow make him proud of me," Loki divulged as he stared down at her hand over his. "But maybe that was the problem all along… maybe he couldn't forget what I was."

Natasha frowned slightly and stroked his hand with her thumb, "It's totally up to you how you want to proceed with your father. No one would fault you for wanting to keep your distance, and I would completely understand if you wanted to try to rekindle a relationship with him."

"Enough serious talk," Loki advised with a half-smile as he lifted her hand and brushed his lips across her fingers. "We are here to have fun. So what do you want to do now, pet?"

Moments later, they went to the fair and rode a few rides before visiting the game where Natasha had won the green teddy bear for Loki. She smiled, "I beat you in this game…and I won a teddy bear for you. It's in Anya's room now. The green one. Care for a rematch?"

"You beat me, did you?" Loki smirked as he gazed at the people currently playing the game. It didn't look very hard. Just aim the water gun at the target. "I must have had an off night," he winked. "I accept your challenge, pet."

Natasha laughed as they began the game. It was close, but she ended up losing. She threw her hands up in the air, "Oh man! Seriously?! You cheated!"

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't, pet." Loki winked playfully as he perused the prizes along the back wall. "What do you think Anya would like?"

Natasha smiled and pointed at the purple unicorn, "That. Definitely."

Loki stepped out of the car with the purple unicorn tucked under his arm. He hoped that Anya would like it. His dark green eyes fell on a light haired man standing on the front step. He furrowed his brow as he turned to Natasha. "Should I know him? Is he from SHIELD?"

Natasha tensed noticeably as Clint turned to face them. She looked at Loki and cleared her throat, "You know him…but you hate him."

Clint moved down the stairs to face them, his eyes scrutinizing the young god before him. Natasha stepped between the two, "Hey Clint. What are you doing here?"

"I heard he lost his memory…so I was coming to see if you needed help packing…I want you to come with me. I can be there for you and your daughter. This memory loss is a blessing. You can finally cut him out of your life once and for all. We can have a life together, Tasha. I'll give you more children…a real home…a real family."

Loki gazed at the man in front of him in confusion. If they were so happy together as she and Thor claimed why would this man assume that she wanted to leave him? What would his memory loss have to do with anything? He turned toward Natasha with a furrowed brow. "Why does this man think that you would want to leave with him?"

Natasha glared at Clint as she spoke to Loki, "Because he has refused to listen to me…and he thinks the only reason why I fell in love with you is because I was under some sort of spell. Clint is an…old friend of mine."

"Oh, I was more than that, Tasha. A lot more."

She tensed and looked to Loki, "it's a very long story."

"So you were lovers," Loki stated matter-of-factly as he scrutinized the man in front of him more closely. "I take it you are not here to speak to me so I'll leave the two of you alone." He moved between them and headed into the house. The nanny was sitting along the couch watching television while Anya played in the small play yard set up in the middle of the room.

"You may retire if you like," Loki advised as he squatted in front of the small pen. "Here, shorty, this is for you." His grin widening as Anya smiled up at him and grabbed the purple unicorn happily.

A few minutes later, Natasha walked into the living room to find Loki with Anya. She smiled widely at the sight before her, then sat down on the couch, "Sorry about that. Seems our exes keep popping up just when we feel happy and content…"

"You can speak with whoever you like, pet. I'm surprised that he left so quickly, though," Loki mused as he stood up from the ground. "He made a very valiant offer and he seemed quite determined to persuade you."

Natasha smiled a little, "There was a time when me merely mentioning Clint's name would send you into a jealous rage. You once punched him so hard, he was sent flying into a foyer table and broke the table. He broke some ribs…"

She sighed and shook her head, "You didn't want him anywhere near me."

"Well, that explains why he looked at me so evilly, Eh heh heh heh," Loki chuckled as he sat down next to her on the couch. "You seem a little sad, all of the sudden, pet. Is something bothering you?"

Natasha shrugged slightly as she looked up at him, "Something he said…he reminded me that…you don't love me anymore. I mean, I know it. I guess I am able to conveniently forget that fact cause we're so happy together…but it's true. You don't have our memories…you don't remember Anya's birth or the first time I told you I loved you…it's just tough, ya know?"

"You wish I had my memories… so do I, darling," Loki soothed as he placed his arm around her and pulled her snug against him. "I care for you an awful lot for someone I met a little more than a week ago. I hope you know that, pet."

Natasha nodded and forced a brave smile, "I am thankful for that. I guess that serves as further proof that what we have is powerful."

"I wish there was something that I could do to raise your spirits," Loki murmured softly as he kissed her temple. He could tell that she was still sad. She wanted him to remember but it was becoming more and more obvious to him that he never would. "I know you said that it didn't matter if this was it but I don't think that's really true. There are a lot of things that you want that I may never be able to give you."

"Like what?" she asked as she kissed him and snuggled into his side.

"Like all the things that man offered you," Loki murmured softly as he twirled a loose ringlet between his fingers. "Or having your life back to the way it used to be."

"Clint and I are just friends. We were never a real couple. Friends and partners who frequently had sex…yes. But you're the one I fell in love with. I can't just turn that off and transfer those feelings to someone else. I love you…only you."

"But you're still sad and I'm the cause, pet," Loki replied thoughtfully as he gazed into her dark blue eyes. "You want things the way they use to be but I'm just me as I am right now. I don't want to make you sad. I'd like to try and make you happy."

Natasha kissed him softly and smiled, "I will be happy as long as I have you and Anya. You both are all that matter to me. Yes, I'm disheartened that you don't remember our life together, but you know what? There are parts of our past that I'm happy to forget…"

"You mean when I forced you to be with me?" Loki replied solemnly. "Or did I do worse things than that?"

"We had our fair share of ups and downs. Let's just leave it at that", she replied quickly.

"I suppose if you would be happy to forget than I should be glad I don't remember," Loki replied wryly as he gazed down at Anya who had fallen asleep in her pen. Her arms wrapped around her new purple unicorn as she slept soundly. "Your daughter fell asleep," the young god mused with a slight smile as he moved to stand up. She looked so peaceful. "May I carry her to her bed, pet?"

Natasha looked at him thoughtfully, "Would you do me a favor? Would you please call her 'our' daughter? It sounds like you're trying to distance yourself from her a little…and whether you remember her or not…she's yours, Loki. And of course…please, carry her upstairs."

Loki furrowed his brow for a moment as he listened to her words before turning back to the baby and picking her up carefully. Her new toy still held tightly in her arms as he carried her up to the nursery. He laid her down in her crib, covering her with a blanket as his gaze fell to the green teddy bear that was already in her bed. He heard Natasha's footsteps as she entered the room behind him.

"I'm glad she likes it so much," Loki mused as he ran his fingers along her hair before moving to leave the room.

Natasha leaned against the wall in the hallway, waiting for him with a soft smile on her face, "I know you say she looks like me…but she has your spirit. You can see it in her eyes…in how smart she is and how mischievous she is…"

"I was quite a handful as a child," Loki replied wistfully as he shut the door of the nursery. "You better forewarn the Nanny, eh heh heh heh. My mother went through quite a few of those."

Natasha smiled a little and nodded, "I will be sure to do that…or you can be here to do that yourself…"

"Are you annoyed with me?" Loki probed as his gaze narrowed. He wasn't quite sure what he had done but he could tell by her voice that something was bothering her. He didn't like feeling pressured to be a father.

"No. No. It's not you" she said softly, averting her gaze from his. Natasha casually swiped the tear from her cheek and lifted her head back up to give him a faltering, but brave smile, "It's me, actually. I'm annoyed with myself. You warned me…told me you wouldn't be able to give more than…this. And I'm an idiot for thinking that if I told you all of our old stories…showed you our old life…you'd come back to me. But you aren't…and you won't. And I think a big part of the Loki you are today doesn't want to. Yeah…you think Anya is a cute kid and all, but you don't want her to be yours. You don't want to be a father. And you don't want to be my husband. I think it's started to sink in, Loki. Having you…the guarded you…might be ok for me, but I know it's not enough for that little girl. She needs her father. The man who walked the floor with her for six straight hours when she got her first ear infection. I need my husband…the man who read me poetry and danced with me…and I know you don't want to be that guy."

Natasha rubbed her temples and sniffled softly, "Maybe you should go…I don't want you to feel pressured or stuck and I know you do…"

"She seems quite content with me," Loki contemplated as he turned his gaze back to the closed door of the nursery. "In fact that is one of the things that is so nice about being around her. She doesn't seem to notice the difference you're talking about. I can just be me. I can make her smile and hold her and there's no expectation for me to be someone else. She's happy with me." The young god exhaled slowly as he turned back to face her. He didn't really like the idea of leaving. He liked being with them. But that obviously wasn't enough for her. "It's only been two days. I'm just getting to know you both. I know you want your husband back and I'm sorry. It's not like there's this little switch inside of me that I can just flip on for you, pet. I think I'd like to take a little walk on the beach, if you'll excuse me."

Natasha nodded slowly before going to the bedroom and lying down. She stared out the window before drifting to sleep, waiting for his return.

Loki returned to the house. It was quiet and dark as he moved through the rooms. He took a few steps up the stairs before he thought better of it as he traveled back down stairs to the guest room in the basement. He was disheartened by the prospect of leaving which was something that he hadn't expected. He settled himself against the pillows as he gazed up at the ceiling despondently.

The next morning, Natasha got up with Anya and fed her breakfast before strapping her into her jogging stroller and going for a run. When they returned, she lay her down for a nap while she showered. She walked downstairs to grab herself a snack and almost ran smack dab into Loki's chest.

"Oh! Hey…"

"Hello… "Loki smiled softly. "Is Anya napping? You were both up so early this morning. I was surprised to see the place so empty when I came up."

Natasha nodded a little, "We go for morning jogs a few times a week. Do you want something to eat or…drink or something?"

"No, thank you, pet. I've already eaten," Loki sighed as he gazed at her thoughtfully. He had missed holding her last night which was strange for him. He wasn't use to feeling so needy where women were concerned. He heard the doorbell ring followed by the booming sound of his brother's voice as the butler let him in. The young god quickly moved into the other room to greet him. He was nervous to hear what his father's answer was.

"How is everything, brother?" Thor smiled as he patted him on the shoulder affectionately.

"We can save the small talk for after, Thor, what did he say?" Loki stated coolly.

"They are very happy to know that you are well, Loki, and they want nothing more than to see you but Father feels it's best if you stay on here a little longer." The thunder god advised carefully.

Natasha listened intently, but as soon as the last sentence left Thor's mouth, Anya began to fuss. She took her leave and moved up to the nursery, curious as to what this meant for Loki. Technically, this mansion was his. What if he wanted her to leave?

She finished changing and nursing her daughter before bringing her back downstairs. Thor and Loki had moved to the library, so Natasha and Anya went to the living room.

"It is not meant to be forever, Loki," Thor entreated as the young god slumped in a chair by the fireplace. "And as long as you have permission from Shield you may visit. Father very much wants to see you."

"If that's true then why does he insist I stay on Midgard?" Loki inquired dejectedly. "I have no desire to work for these people. I'm being punished for things that I don't even remember doing."

"It's not meant to be a punishment, brother. He wants to give you time to remember… to be with your family," the thunder god admitted.

"She doesn't even want me… you can ask her… she thinks I should leave," Loki stated irritably. He did not want to have to take orders from these Midgardians.

"I'm certain you're mistaken, brother," Thor protested.

"She wants the man she knew before not me," Loki insisted. He didn't really want to leave but she had made it clear that without his memory he wasn't much use to them. What was the point in him staying? "I want to see Mother. I don't see why I need to request permission from these Midgardians to do that."

"I'll make arrangements with them for you, Loki." Thor soothed.

"Make arrangements? It's like I'm in prison and these Midgardians are my wardens," Loki snapped as he stood from the chair and stormed from the room. He strutted into the living room as his brother trailed behind.

"It's not like that, Loki. You'll feel better once you've talked to Mother," Thor replied hopefully.

"You mean if they allow it," Loki snipped, his dark green eyes falling upon Natasha sitting on the couch as Anya played inside of her play yard. A soft smile grazed his lips as he noticed she was still holding her new purple unicorn. He moved forward as she reached her hand up to him, babbling softly. "Hi, shorty. I haven't seen you all morning," he grinned. "May I pick you up?" He took her tiny smile as acquiescence as he lifted her into his arms.

Natasha smiled as she watched him pick up the baby girl. Anya cooed softly and reached for his face as he bounced her in his arms. She brushed her hair out of her face and stood, "I'm sorry about the news from Odin, Loki. I know how much you wanted to go home…"

She didn't quite know what else to say in this situation. She knew that he'd rather be somewhere else than with her, and that hurt her more than she could describe.

"And how much you wanted me to leave," Loki mumbled under his breath. He was beyond frustrated. Everybody seemed obsessed with him remembering even his father. He was tired of it. "If it is alright with you," he inquired as he turned toward her. "I would like to take a walk with Anya."

"Hello, little princess," Thor beamed as he moved to stand next to them. "How's my niece?" He gave her a quick kiss and a pat on the head as the little girl giggled. "I will contact Shield immediately, brother, and I will let you know as soon as everything is settled. Enjoy your walk. Good day, Lady Natasha. I'll show myself out."

Natasha stared at him for a few moments and nodded, "Um…sure. Yeah. She loves being outside. She'll have a great time."

Just before he left, she spoke up, "Loki…it's not that I want you to leave…I just don't want to get hurt…"

Loki didn't respond as he left out the backdoor and took a stroll along the beach with Anya snug in his arms. "If you like the beach here, shorty, you will love the shoreline of Asgard. It is truly beautiful especially at night and the water is pure blue." He talked to her aimlessly, sitting down for a little while along the sand and entertaining her with some magic tricks. She gazed up at him with a sweet smile as she tugged playfully on his long black hair.

Twenty minutes later they returned. Natasha was fixing something in the kitchen. He placed Anya in her highchair, tweaking her nose playfully as she giggled. "Is it time for her lunch? Is it alright if I feed her?"

Natasha nodded and handed him a bowlful of pureed mixed vegetables before walking over to put a bib on Anya. "Things get a little messy during her meal times", she said with a small smile.

"It looks like you had a great time on your walk."

"Yes, I did. Well, we did… didn't we, shorty," Loki grinned as he scooped up a spoonful of the mush contained in the bowl to feed her. "I enjoy her company."

Natasha smiled and nodded, "She's a real charmer. A great baby…"

She watched them for a few minutes before running a hand through her hair and leaning over to kiss him, "Thank you for making an effort with her."

Loki was surprised at the feel of her lips against his cheek. He looked up at her quizzically as he scooped up another spoonful of food. "There is no effort, pet. I just like being around her."

Natasha moved back toward the refrigerator, "I was going to cook us dinner tonight. Did you have a taste for anything in particular?"

"No, not really," Loki advised as he scooped up the last of the vegetables that remained in the bowl. "Thor is supposed to arrange it that I can visit with my mother. I would like it if she met Anya."


	14. Chapter 14

Natasha stuttered slightly, "Um…ok. Well, Anya's still nursing…I wouldn't be comfortable with letting her go without me…"

"Naturally, I meant for the both of you to come," Loki advised thoughtfully. "It won't be for very long. I'm not sure if this SHIELD will even agree." He placed the bowl on the table and sighed. He wanted his freedom. How long would his father force him to work for this organization?

Natasha smiled, "I'd like to meet Frigga. You always spoke very highly of her." She moved toward her daughter and cleaned her off before lifting her out of her chair and kissing her head, "Bath time, my princess. Would you like to join us?"

Loki nodded as he followed her to the bathroom. She handed Anya to him as she began getting the bath ready. His dark green eyes gazing at the myriad of little duck toys that lined the tub. The little girl clapped her hands happily. "Eh heh heh heh, she is very excited." he grinned widely.

Natasha smiled as she ran the bath, testing the water temperature with the back of her hand frequently.

"Baby girl loves bath time", she said as she helped undress the infant and placed her in her bath seat.

Loki grinned as she splashed her hands in the water by the time the bath was done there was more water on the outside of the tub then in. "Eh heh heh heh, I feel like I've taken a bath, too." he chuckled.

Natasha laughed and nodded, "Yes, so true!"

She smiled and kissed the top of her daughter head as she wrapped her in a fluffy towel and dried her off. She dressed her in her pajamas before sitting down in the dimly lit nursery and opening her shirt to put the baby to her breast.

Natasha hummed a soft lullaby as she slowly rocked back and forth, nursing her daughter.

Loki leaned against the doorway as he watched her nurse her daughter. "My mother always used to sing to me. There was no place I felt safer than in her arms as a child. Anya is lucky to have you."

Natasha glanced up at him and smiled as Anya fell asleep against her chest. She softly stroked her tiny hand and whispered, "I appreciate that compliment…but I feel like I'm the lucky one here. She's so beautiful and she's made me a better, stronger woman. I love being a mother…"

"Yes, she is very beautiful like her mother," Loki smiled softly as he watched her lay Anya in her crib. His dark green eyes gazing at her peaceful form.

Natasha walked out of the nursery with him and closed the door behind her before leaning back against the wall and sighing, "Knowing what you know about the Loki I loved…and what I went through with him, what do you think you would want to do differently? Rewrite history a little for me…"

"I don't really know enough of your history to rewrite it, pet," Loki stated thoughtfully. "I don't like the deal I made for you… but I don't know what I was thinking at the time. Why would I want to force a woman to be with me who clearly didn't want me? Lorelei told me that I was obsessed with you. I've been obsessed with many things but never a woman." He shrugged his shoulders slightly. He hated that there were years of his life that he had to depend on others to tell him about. "Slavery deals are not my usual forte. I would have tried to charm you… woo you into my bed. I would have tried to get you to overlook my obvious wrong doings."

Natasha smiled as she slowly pulled him to her. She gently fiddled with the belt loops of his pants and whispered as she shyly looked up into his eyes, "I like the sound of that…being wooed."

She leaned up, but kept her lips barely a millimeter from his as she whispered huskily, "I want you to show me how you'd seduce me."

Loki tucked a loose curl behind her ear as he stared into her dark blue eyes, licking his lips expectantly as he felt that familiar longing rush through his veins at her nearness. "I crave you," he breathed as his lips hovered over hers, his hand resting against the nape of her neck as his other hand glided to the small of her back, pressing her body closer to his. "I hunger for every inch of your body… when you're this close to me… you consume me." He moved his lips over hers in a sensuous kiss. All rational thought falling away from his mind as he lost himself in the feel of her.

Natasha kissed him back hungrily as she gripped the collar of his shirt and ripped it open. She greedily ran her hands over his chest and torso before pushing him up against the opposite wall while keeping her lips firmly pressed to kiss. Her hands immediately moved between them to unbuckle his pants as they stumbled into the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes in their wake.

They collapsed against the bed, his hands caressing her silky nakedness, his lips devouring every inch of skin that he could reach. She was warm as honey and smoother than silk. He couldn't get enough of her. They came together explosively as she arched into him, tipping her hips, her nails raking down his back. "Valhalla," he gasped with a deep shuddering breath. It had been little more than a day since he had her this way and yet it felt like it had been an eternity. He had never felt such desperate yearning for anyone before.

Natasha panted as he rested his forehead against hers, their warm breath intermingling. He started to pull out of her, but she grabbed his hips and pulled him back to her, not ready to lose the feeling of closeness with him. When they made love, she was able to briefly forget that he didn't remember that he loved her…

"Don't move…just…lay like this for a while. Please…let me feel you inside of me…" she whispered before kissing him lovingly, pouring every bit of emotion she could into him through her lips.

Loki flipped their bodies, so that she laid on top of him, still connected as he rested his hand against the small of her back, his fingers tangling in her long red curls. His breathing still unsteady as he brushed his lips against her forehead. He wasn't use to this. This closeness, the depth of his desire for her. It made him slightly uncomfortable and more than a little nervous. He had no aspirations to tie himself to one woman.

Natasha lay on top of him and moved to lean up and kiss his lips, causing her hips to move against him. They were still connected, and she was extremely sensitive thanks to her recent orgasm, so she couldn't help but moan against his lips. Soon, she began moving purposefully above him, gently rolling her hips as she felt him come to life once again inside of her. Before they knew it, a second, mutual climax washed over them as she collapsed against his chest, their bodies covered in a soft sheen of sweat as she panted heavily atop him.

Loki smiled as he held her closely, his long slender fingers tracing patterns along her back. "You really do feel like you were made for me, Natalia," he whispered softly. His dark emerald eyes gazing up at the ceiling as a myriad of thoughts began to swirl around his head. "I've never felt anything quite like it, pet."

Natasha smiled as her breathing slowly returned to normal. With great reluctance, she separated from his body and plopped down beside him, her head resting on his chest.

"I've heard you say those words to me before…I love hearing that. I can never get enough of making love to you. Once, we literally stayed in bed for seven hours straight…well, we got up to shower once, but you conjured me ice cream so that I could keep my strength up." She laughed softly at the fond memory as her hand idly stroked down his stomach, "I was still eating the ice cream when I felt you start to kiss my neck…the next thing I knew, we were at it again…"

"Eh heh heh heh, if not for Anya I would suggest that we try and break that record, pet," Loki chuckled as he twisted his fingers along a soft red ringlet. "And what is your favorite ice cream?"

"Caramel cone crunch. It's delicious" she said with a sweet smile as she kissed his lips. "But not as delicious as you" she murmured as she trailed kisses down his jawline to nibble on his ear.

"Well, you let me know if you get hungry, darling," Loki grinned as he flipped her beneath him. His mouth suckling along her throat in a downward trail to her honey soft breasts, His tongue wetting one lush rosy nipple as he captured it between his lips. "You're a goddess… more delicious than an apple of Idunn," he breathed against her skin.

Natasha's soft giggles soon transformed into sensuous moans as his lips began fervently exploring her body. She wanted him like this as much as she could get him.

As he lavished her breasts with attention, her body shivered and undulated beneath his. Her eyes rolled closed as she threaded her fingers into his dark locks, moaning his name, "Oh god…Loki…I want you like this…always. If I could, I would live my existence firmly impaled on your cock. God…my body is yours. I need you…I need you more than I've needed anything in my entire life."

"Mine," Loki murmured against her skin, his voice barely above a whisper. His mind lost in a fog of unadulterated lust as he sank himself into her, again and again. "By the nines…Natalia…"

The sun was starting to peek over the horizon, and they were still making love. His lips were firmly attached to her neck as she lay on her stomach. He lay on top of her, pumping into her from behind as she gripped onto the sheets in front of her, whimpering his name.

She'd lost count of how many times they'd had sex that night. They were actually on hour 8. They'd broken the 7 hour record, but it didn't seem like that was their intent. They were lost within each other and the intense pleasure they shared. Nothing else mattered.

"Harder…fuck me…harder…please", she whined as she felt another orgasm approach. Natasha could hardly believe that she could experience so many climaxes in one night. Her body felt weak and boneless, but she still wanted him…wanted every last bit of strength he could muster as he pleasured her.

His strokes increased at the sound of her words and the feel of her body approaching its climax. His own body shaking violently as they came together. Loki collapsed on his back as he breathed in a desperate rhythm. "By the roots of Yggdrasil," he gasped huskily. "I can't get enough of you."

The sound of Anya's soft babbles through the monitor that rested on nightstand signaled the official start of the new day. He smiled as she brushed her lips to his before slipping on her robe and moving towards the nursery. Loki laid there for a moment, gazing up at the ceiling before rising and getting dressed.

Natasha changed Anya and combed her hair before taking her downstairs. The nanny was already in the kitchen with a bowl of oatmeal, so she handed her off and returned upstairs to the bedroom to shower. She smiled at Loki tiredly and stripped out of her robe, "You must be dehydrated or something after last night."

Natasha moved to the bathroom and removed her jewelry before climbing into the shower. She'd taken to wearing his wedding ring on a chain around her neck and had laid it on the counter beside her own rings.

She called to him over the roaring water of the shower, "Would you like to join me?"

Loki discarded his clothes as he stepped inside the shower, his dark green eyes gazing over her wet, naked body lustfully. "You're going to be the death of me, pet." He grinned wickedly as he pulled her body flush against him.

Natasha laughed softly as she kissed him, backing them up until they were directly under the spray of the water. They made love in the shower, and after washing, they got out and finally got dressed before heading downstairs. Natasha cleaned her daughter's face of the remnants of her breakfast as the nanny cleaned off the high chair and dishes.

She rubbed noses with the infant and smiled, "Hello princess…Loki, did you want to take her for a walk?"

"Yes, I would like that very much," Loki grinned as he ran his fingers along the girl's strawberry curls. The sound of the doorbell filled the room and was immediately followed by Thor's voice as wandered into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Lady Natasha… brother… and you, too, Eira." Thor smiled as he gazed at the three of them. "I bring good news, Loki. I have made the arrangements that you wanted with SHIELD and with Father for your visit. Heimdall will be ready to take us as soon as I call for him. If you still wish to go."

"Yes, of course, I do, brother," he answered quickly. He was excited by the prospect of seeing his mother although nervous about coming into contact with anyone else. "I intend to bring Natasha and Anya." He turned his gaze toward her with a questioning look. "If it is still alright with you, pet."

Natasha nodded, suddenly nervous about meeting Frigga. Technically, she was Loki's wife…but not-technically, he had yet to even tell her that he loved her…again, yet. The entire situation was surreal. How would he introduce her? Who was she to him now that they shared a daughter and mind-blowing sex?

A part of Natasha hoped he was falling back in love with her, but the practical part of her was reminding her not to hold out for that. There was a chance he may never be ready to commit to her in that way. This new/old Loki didn't want to be tied to a woman…

"Yes. That's fine. I just need to pack some things for Anya" she said, heading toward the stairs.

"I'm glad that you are bringing your wife and daughter with you," Thor beamed as he patted his brother affectionately on the shoulder. "Our parents will be very excited to finally meet their granddaughter especially Mother."

"I'm not married," Loki stated coolly. His feelings for Natasha were confusing for him. He could not deny that he cared for her and he was intensely attracted to her. But he had never desired to be married. He always enjoyed being free to do as he pleased. "I'm not going to be bound by things that I don't even remember doing."

"I'm glad that you are bringing them just the same," the thunder god remarked with a soft smile. "It's obvious that you care for them even without your memory."

"Do you think father may relent on this SHIELD business?" the young god pondered. He truly despised the idea of working for these lowlier beings.

"I know you don't like the idea but you know how stubborn father is," Thor reiterated as Natasha and Anya returned to the kitchen with a small bag in her hand and the baby's teddy bear and unicorn firmly in her little arms.

"I can hardly see you behind that big bear," Loki smiled as he lifted her from her mother's arms. "Are you ready for a little adventure, shorty? I think you are." He kissed her softly along her strawberry curls before turning his emerald gaze toward Natasha. "Do you have everything you need, pet?"

Natasha nodded as she searched the pockets of the bag, double checking to make sure she had her daughter's pacifier. She had heard part of his conversation with Thor, and was slightly saddened. She knew that one night…one amazing night wouldn't be enough for him to love her back, but she thought it had meant something…anything to him.

It had meant everything to her.

When they arrived in Asgard, Anya began to whimper softly. Natasha took the baby from Loki's arms and gently shushed her. She was likely scared and disoriented after the trip through the BiFrost.

The carriage ride to the palace was silent, and when they arrived, Natasha could see a beautiful older woman, standing out front with her hands clasped in front of her. She suddenly felt nervous and very under dressed…

Loki's eyes quickly caught sight of his mother. A sudden fear coming over him. Had their relationship truly remained unchanged? He took a tentative step toward her. "Mother?"

Frigga rushed forward and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh, my son, I am so glad to see you. I was so frightened when I heard of your accident. Thor told me that you were alright but it is not the same as seeing you with my own eyes." Loki hugged her back tightly before finally releasing her as he did his best to hold back the tears that threatened his eyes. "And who have we here?" she beamed with a sweet smile as she gazed at Natasha and Anya who were standing at his side.

"This is Natasha," Loki advised as he placed his hand gently against her shoulder. "And this beautiful little girl, of course, is Anya."

"Yes," Frigga grinned. "It is delight to finally meet you both. May I possibly hold my granddaughter?"

Natasha nodded slowly before handing Anya over to the older woman. Anya examined the new person with great curiosity as Frigga spoke to her in a soft, high-pitched voice, telling her how beautiful she was. Anya finally favored her grandmother with a toothless grin as she grabbed a hold of her long, blond hair and began cooing.

Frigga laughed softly and gently bounced her as she stared at the baby, "Lovely…and so friendly. She is just beautiful…just beautiful." She finally turned her eyes up to meet Natasha's nervous gaze and laughed a bit, "Oh, my dear. I am sorry. Natasha…it is wonderful to finally meet you. You are as lovely as my son described. That's clear to see though…save for her eyes, this precious little one looks just like you."

"Your father would be here with me to greet you, my son," Frigga advised as she continued to bounce the little girl in her arms. "But there was an urgent matter that required his attention. Come let me show you to your rooms so that you can put away your things. I have planned a quiet dinner for us." She beamed as she led the way down the corridors.

Loki followed behind her as servants passed and curtsied. The young god scrutinized each person that crossed his path. He couldn't help but wonder what the Aesir thought of him knowing that he was a Jotunn. He tried to push the thought from his mind as they neared his old rooms.

"I had your old crib placed in your room, my son," Frigga beamed. "Just gazing at it brought back such memories." She handed Anya back to Natasha as she gave the little girl a soft kiss along her forehead. "She is so precious."

"Yes, she is a very sweet little girl," Loki agreed.

"I will leave you three to get settled," Frigga advised warmly. "When you are ready, Loki, come to the veranda. I have had all your favorites prepared. I have missed our talks, my son." She leaned up and kissed his cheek before leaving down the hall. The young god opened the door and walked inside his old chambers. Accept for the ornate crib in the sitting room, there was nothing about the quarters that had been changed.

"So what is your impression of Asgard so far, pet?" Loki inquired as he ran his fingers along the top of his dresser.

Natasha smiled a bit as she looked around the large space. She nodded as she adjusted Anya on her hip, "It's beautiful…big. Very grand."

She didn't say much after that…and stayed mostly quiet during dinner save for polite conversation. The words she heard him say to Thor kept replaying in her mind over and over again.

How long until he got bored with playing house with her? How long until he realized he really didn't want to be a father to Anya and walked away from her? The unanswered questions plagued her.

Loki opened the door to his chamber, Anya's head resting against his shoulder as she slept soundly against him. She had fallen asleep on the walk back from his mother's rooms. It had been an enjoyable evening. He had missed her very much. His father would not be returning from his business in Vanaheim until tomorrow afternoon. The young god was more than a little nervous about seeing him for the first time. Knowing that they hadn't spoken in five years made the prospect of their reunion more than a little daunting.

He laid Anya down gently in the crib being sure to place her teddy bear and unicorn safely alongside her as he covered her with her favorite blanket. His dark green eyes gazing at Natasha as she shut the door behind them.

"You were very quiet this evening," Loki mused as he strutted toward her. He took her hands in his as he led her into the bedroom. "I can tell that my mother likes you very much, pet."

Natasha smiled uneasily and nodded, "She's really nice…seems really easy to get along with. She really took to Anya…that's nice."

She rubbed her arm and looked down at the ring she wore around her neck as she sighed softly.

"You're unhappy," Loki stated as he gazed at her thoughtfully. His dark green eyes following her own as she glanced at the chain that she was wearing around her neck. He placed his fingers around the gold band that hung from the necklace that she wore. "It's obvious what you are thinking about, pet."

Natasha smirked, "It is obvious…isn't it?" She slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze, "I heard you and Thor talking…I guess I feel stupid. It's not your fault. It's mine. I'm…I was stupidly optimistic…I thought you'd actually want to love me…"

Natasha smiled bravely and wiped at the tear that slid down her cheek, "I'm sorry. I'm tired. I think I'm just gonna lay down…"

"Natalia, I care about you a great deal," Loki revealed as he watched her move toward the bed. "Being married has nothing to do with that. I know it's different for you but, pet, I've only known you for a week. Did my outlook on marriage change so speedily when we first met?"

Natasha shook her head, "No. You're right. I guess…you made it sound like you have no desire to be tied to us…to me and Anya. I know she's a cute kid and all, but I worry about the day when you decide you don't want to be there for her…or for me anymore. I know you care about me, but I'm worried you…I'm scared that you don't care enough."

"I'm not sure what I can say, pet," Loki advised as he captured a loose strawberry ringlet between his thumb and forefinger. "I don't want to be married. But I do want to be here with you. And I do care for you. That night I spent in the guest room… I missed you terribly… I have no desire to leave either of you."

Natasha sat down on the bed and smiled sadly, "I kind of wish I could go back to the days when you were obsessed with me. You'd walk into a room and see me…and you'd need me. Just like that, you'd bend me over a counter, flip my skirt up and take me…you needed to mark me. Heh…come to think of it, I don't know why it took me so long to convince you that we should have a baby. In the wild, a female doesn't truly belong to a male until he's impregnated her…given him cubs." She shrugged slightly, "I guess we humans are more primitive…driven by instinct and desire…not like you…"

"Not like me? You think I don't desire you?" Loki gaped as he stared at her in confusion. "I'm not sure how you can say that after the last few days together. But I have no problem reminding you of just how badly I want you." He leaned over her, crushing his lips to hers as he pushed her back onto the bed.

Natasha started to speak, but his lips were sensually moving against hers in a greedy kiss. She moaned softly as she forgot what she was saying. When his lips moved to her ear, she gasped softly, "Oh…no…I know you desire me…I…was simply…speaking from the…from the primitive…reproductive aspect…" She moaned loudly as his hand slid beneath her panties, "Human males…are driven by the primitive desire to procreate…to mark a female in the most possessive way imaginable…"

"Eh heh heh heh, is that so, darling," Loki chuckled as he suckled along her neck, guiding his fingers into her delicate softness. "I'm driven by the desire to see you come undone, pet, to bury myself inside of you over and over while you scream my name."

Natasha's eyes rolled closed as she obscenely bucked against his hand. She nodded slowly, "Yes…yes…I…I like that desire…that..that is good…"

Loki grinned wickedly as she arched beneath him, replacing his hard fingers with his even harder arousal. "You're so warm… so tight… Valhalla, Natalia… it's almost too much… it's just so good… it's never been like this… only you."

Natasha panted softly against his mouth as her body rolled beneath his, eagerly meeting his thrusts.

She kissed him hungrily, "Yes…yes…harder…I need all of you, Loki. Please…give it all to me…"

He abandoned himself to the pleasure as their passion crested. "Natalia… Natalia, I…" His dark green eyes staring into hers affectionately, the word 'love' almost reaching his lips before he stopped himself. Loki lied back against the pillows as he tried to collect his thoughts and his breath.

Natasha could have sworn he was about to say it, but it was obvious his logic got in the way. She lay beside him, panting for several moments before pulling the blankets over their naked forms and curling into his side to go to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

The following morning they had breakfast with his mother and Thor in the gazebo of the palace gardens. Frigga informed them that she was planning a banquet dinner this evening in honor of their visit. She sweetly advised him that she would be stealing Natasha for a little while so that she could find her the perfect ballgown for the evening's festivities.

Loki took Anya for a walk through the gardens and the palace grounds. She especially enjoyed petting the horses that were grazing in the pastures.

"I think she is a little young to be taught to ride, love," LoreLei mused as she walked up to stand next to them along the fence.

"I'm quite aware of that, pet," the young god replied with a sideways smile. "What are you doing down this way? I can count on one hand the amount of times I've seen you on a horse."

"I heard through the grapevine that you had returned. I was hoping I might find you here. I know how you love horses, love." The sorceress advised in her lilting tone.

"You want to stir up trouble, Lorelei," Loki smirked. "It is written all over your face, my dear."

Natasha had spent an exhausting day getting measured and fitted in various, elaborate ball gowns. Frigga claimed that it would have to be befitting of a princess, but she didn't feel comfortable being considered royalty.

After the queen helped her pick her dress, they had lunch together.

Frigga smiled and sat back, "I'm very happy to have a bit of time alone with you. I was hoping to speak with you…one on one. How are you faring, my dear? I know Loki's accident must have been hard on you.."

Natasha nodded, "It…it's been difficult, to say the least." The typically guarded Black Widow lowered her head and sighed, closing her eyes as she let out a sigh, "It seemed like fate waited until we were perfectly happy, then ruined everything. We were in love and we were both so in love with Anya…I thought I might even be able to convince him to have another baby…one day…but now that hope is gone. I don't know if he'll ever love me again…or want to be married to me again." Natasha reached into her collar and pulled out the chain that held his wedding ring, "I keep wearing it…hoping that one day, he'll want to put it back on."

Frigga smiled and reached over the table to lay a comforting hand on hers, "I'm certain he'll come around soon. I see the way you look at each other…that is true love. Nothing can stop that."

After lunch, Natasha had to ask around in an effort to find Loki and Anya. Soon, she was directed to the stables.

"Isn't that why we've always been drawn together, love, our fondness for stirring up trouble," Lorelei smiled as she brushed her strawberry blonde hair back over her shoulder. "And causing mischief."

"Yes, you were a very good partner in crime, my dear," Loki stated matter-of-factly as Anya reached out to the brown mare that wandered toward them to eat the carrot that the young god had conjured in his hand.

"We could be again," She breathed seductively. "When you're through babysitting you should come to our old haunt, love. It has been far too long."

By the time Natasha found Loki and Anya, Lorelei was out of sight. It was a good thing too. If she saw that woman around her daughter, it would have been hell to pay.

She smiled, "Hey you two. Having fun?"

"Very much, I think she is definitely going to want a pony one day," Loki grinned as he moved towards her. "And how about you? Did you find your dress? Eh heh heh heh, how many did my mother force you to try on?"

Natasha laughed softly and kissed him before plucking her daughter from his arms and kissing her nose, "I only tried on about twelve…I know. I said 'only'. It was exhausting. What have you been up to?"

"Walking… around the gardens and things… the highlight was definitely the horses. Right, shorty?" Loki mused as he ran his fingers through Anya's soft curls. "I can't wait to see you in your gown, pet."

Natasha smiled, "I think you're going to like it. It shows plenty of cleavage, so that's a bonus…"

She kissed Anya's cheek and took his hand before pulling him back to their room, "It's her nap time…and I think I could use some special attention after such a long morning…"

Loki grinned impishly as he followed her into his chambers. "Perhaps, once Anya has fallen asleep you can model it for me, pet. I have a feeling you're going to look quite delicious."

Natasha shook her head, "You'll have to wait for that, baby."

After laying Anya down, she plopped down on the bed and stretched languidly, "So…say you don't want to be tied down to me. Does that mean I'm free to let other men have me? Would you be alright with another man exploring my body with his lips…driving himself deep inside of me…making me moan his name instead of yours?"

"Is that what you want?" His jovial mood fading as his eyes narrowed. Normally, he wouldn't care but something deep inside of him seemed to erupt at the sound of her words. A feeling that he didn't like attempting to reach the surface as he tried to push the sensation away. It wasn't supposed to matter to him. "I don't own you or anything. You are free to do what you want." He turned away from her as he brushed his fingers through his hair.

Natasha smirked darkly. This was a new tactic. Maybe he would remember if she brought out his obsessive side. She approached him, leaning in to whisper in his ear, "You're sure it wouldn't bother you? Imagining another man on top of me…thrusting deep…spilling himself inside of me." Natasha leaned in closer, "I would love for Anya to have a little brother or sister…maybe I'll find a man who's willing to give me another child."

Loki stepped away from her as he moved toward the window and took a deep breath. "You don't have to be so graphic about it. I get the general idea," he snapped. He could feel his temperature rising as the possessive feeling grew stronger. He placed his face in his hands for a moment before moving the curtain aside and gazing out the window. "You already know how I feel about it. You can do what you like and so can I."

Natasha smiled as she watched him move away from her, "Is that so? Truly? So, if I were to return to earth and seek out Clint Barton…it would not affect you knowing that he'd taken my body for himself…that he'd brought me pleasure…that I screamed his name? Well. I guess that's settled then. When the time is right, I'll start hooking up with Clint and maybe have a little sibling for Anya in the works."

"Barton," Loki spat out the name irritably. That was the man that came to the mansion. "I thought you said you didn't want him?" He took another deep breath as he tried to remain calm but it wasn't very easy and he didn't know why. He turned back toward her. His dark emerald eyes filled with irritation. "We are both free to do whatever or whoever we want. Let's keep the details to ourselves though shall we? I apologize for my ill humor. Perhaps, we've been spending too much time together. Excuse me." He moved swiftly towards the sitting room as he made his way toward the exit to his chambers. He couldn't listen to another word about her and this man.

Natasha realized her plan had tipped him too far over the wrong edge and rushed after him, swiftly apologizing, "Loki…wait. I'm sorry, love. I was…I wanted you to be jealous. I want you to be possessive…I was trying to needle those old feelings out of you, but I guess….I guess you don't have them anymore."

She hung her head in shame and sighed, "I just want you to want me as much as I want you."

"I do want you! You know I want you. My head hurts," Loki exasperated as he rubbed his fingers against his temples. "You mean you really don't want another man? I don't like this feeling. I don't like it at all. It doesn't belong to me. It's not how I am."

"Loki! Yes it is! It's real, and it's what you feel for me. We're in love. You can feel it! Please, stop fighting it. It's why the thought of another man touching me makes you physically ill. It's why making love with me is more amazing and passionate than you've ever felt. It's why you feel like I'm made for you. Loki…that's love. I see it in your eyes. I feel it in your touch."

"I feel like I want to smash something preferably that blonde man's face," he snipped as he brushed his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Is that what you want to hear? Fine, I don't like the idea of you with another man. There I said it. I don't want anyone else to touch you ever. No one but me."

Natasha smiled a little before wrapping her arms around him, "Now, you're starting to sound like the man I love…"

She kissed him and pouted softly against his lips, "You're not mad at me…are you, love?" She trailed soft, teasing kisses up to his ear as she unbuckled his pants and slipped her hand inside while continuing to nibble on his ear, "I'm sorry, baby…please don't be mad at me…I know this is new to you but…" Natasha paused as she suddenly bit down on his ear and wrapped her fingers firmly around his shaft, "…doesn't it feel good to give into your possessive nature?"

Natasha trailed biting kisses down his neck as she pumped his member and whispered against his skin, "You don't want me doing this to any other man…do you?"

Loki moaned with bated breath as her hand moved skillfully against his growing arousal. The feel of her teeth along his skin made him tremble with need. His desire for her flooding through his veins which only heightened the possessive sensation that was thundering through him. He didn't want her touching another man. The thought made him crazed with jealousy. He fisted his hand in her strawberry mane and tugged her head back forcefully so that he could look into her sapphire eyes. "No one but me," he growled heatedly before he claimed her mouth in a searing kiss.

Natasha moaned against his mouth as she hungrily returned the kiss, snatching open his shirt as they stumbled back toward the bed. She wasn't quite sure how many of their clothes they actually ripped off versus the ones he made disappear with his magic, but before she knew it, they were naked.

"Claim me…make me yours, Loki" she moaned as she spread her legs wide around him.

"Mine," Loki growled possessively. His mind a flood of lust and an instinctive need to make her his. There was no room for thought just desire. "Mine and nobody else's." His hot flesh slid into her with one driving thrust, burying himself all the way as he took her. Her moans of pleasure egging him on as he pounded into her with a desperate need.

Natasha nearly blacked out from the force of her orgasm when they finally climaxed. She panted as she wrapped her limbs around him, pressing tender kisses to his lips, cheek and neck as she nuzzled her face with his, "Oh god..Loki…I love you."

Loki lied there with his arms around her, his fingers tangled in her soft curls as his breathing slowly returned to normal. His mind becoming clearer as thoughts slowly began to crowd it. Where had that come from? He wasn't used to being so desperate for another person, so possessive and needy. It gave her power over him. Something no woman had ever had where he was concerned and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

Natasha felt him tense above her and furrowed her eyebrows as she enclosed his face in her hands and looked into his eyes, "What's wrong?"

"I can't shake it… this feeling, I can't get rid of it." Loki advised as he moved to sit up. His dark green eyes gazing at the marks that he had left on her neck and shoulders. He had been desperate to leave a visible sign that she belonged to him. "I feel like it tumbled out of me from only the Fates know where and it won't go back."

Natasha slowly sat up with him, her red curls falling wildly around her shoulders as she leaned in to press a soft, cautious kiss against his shoulder. She took his hand and kissed his palm, "That's love, Loki…and I know it's frightening at first. It feels like you're vulnerable…weak…that someone else has control over you…but it doesn't make you weak. It's makes us both stronger. It means you have something to fight for…you'd protect what you love more fiercely than anything else in this world…that's what makes you even more dangerous now…because if anyone were to try to take me or Anya away from you…you'd stop at nothing to get us back."

"I've been a notorious Lothario since I discovered the pleasures of women when I was fifteen." Loki revealed as he gazed blankly at the middle of the room. "I've only known you for a couple of days, pet, and yet the thought of another woman hasn't even crossed my mind. Not even when it's offered to me on a silver platter. I just want you… which is new for me but it makes sense. You feel so good. It's no wonder I want you so badly. But all of a sudden it's like I don't just want you… I need you… I feel like I could kill a man just for implying that he might touch you. You're right, I do feel weak. Look how easily you affected me. You knew exactly what to say. I don't want to give anyone that kind of control over me."

"I don't control you, my love…and regardless of what your mind thinks, you…your heart…your soul…your body knows every part of me. Every inch of my skin…every roll of my hips…every mood. You keep talking as if we never shared a life together, but whether you remember it or not in your conscious mind, it happened. We did. I know you better than anyone, Loki. What we had was real. Stop trying to pretend it didn't happen just because you don't remember it."

Natasha was frustrated now. He kept implying that she was a stranger. She was anything but, whether he remembered that or not.

"It's like you're trying to erase my life with you…every time you open your mouth, you try to discount or ignore what happened before your accident. I'm sick of it! It was real! I'm tired of being the only one who gives a shit!"

Natasha angrily got out of bed and began getting dressed, "You can come and find us when you're ready to stop pushing me away. If that never happens, then I guess this is goodbye."

She grabbed up Anya's things and gingerly lifted the sleeping infant before laying her on her chest and walking from the room.

Loki pulled on his pants as he moved swiftly after her. With a flick of his wrist the door to his room that she had just opened slammed back shut, keeping them stuck inside. "You are not taking my daughter anywhere." he snapped angrily.

Natasha stared at him with wide eyes. That was the first time he'd ever called Anya his daughter.

"I…I thought you'd only known me a few days? I thought you didn't want to be tied down. I thought loving someone made you weak…now she's your daughter?"

"I… I…," Loki stuttered for a moment. He hadn't even realized what he had said at first. It had just stumbled out. But he knew that he didn't want her to leave. "Yes… my daughter. That's what she is and you are not taking her out of this room."

Natasha stared up at him with genuine tears in her eyes, "I've wanted to hear you say that for so long…I just…I wish you would stop saying you don't know me. You do know me. You just don't remember. I wish you'd stop pretending like our life together never existed."

"I'm sorry if my choice of words upsets you. I know it existed but I don't remember it, pet," Loki murmured softly as he slumped into a chair in the corner of the sitting room. "And I'm not used to feeling these things. When you give someone the ability to hurt you, they usually do."

Natasha shook her head and slowly put her sleeping daughter back down before moving to kneel beside him.

"Loki, I would never hurt you. I'm your wife. I know you don't remember, but it's true. When I said those vows, that means I would be by your side no matter what…and I have been. Even when you were lying lifeless in that damn bed for a month, I only left your side to take care of our daughter."

"You make it sound like you would never leave me," Loki contended as he leaned back in the the chair dejectedly. "But if I was a few seconds slower you would have been on the other side of that door headed who knows where, pet."

Natasha sighed, "I would have gone back to our home. The place we shared and became a family. I wouldn't have taken her out of your reach. I'd be there, stupidly holding out hope that you would one day remember how much you love us."

"But I haven't remembered anything… I just feel… feelings that's all there is. I feel a lot when we are together but it goes against everything that I do know about who I am and what I want. It's confusing," Loki revealed as he gazed up at her with sad eyes. "My mind doesn't remember but my heart feels it."

Natasha lowered her eyes, "You don't want us. You don't want a wife. You don't want a daughter. You don't want a family. Now do you see how difficult it is to stay when I know you actually don't want us?"

"I never said I didn't want you… I wan't you both…," Loki insisted, his dark green eyes gazing at his daughter still fast asleep in the crib. "And you're not going anywhere. I won't let you."

Natasha briefly furrowed her brows, "I thought you didn't want to be tied down…why do you want us? Cause you've grown attached?"

"I care for you very much… I care for you both. I never said that I didn't want you. From that first night that we were together I've never wanted to be anywhere else," Loki divulged as he rubbed his hands back and forth along his lap. "And Anya is my daughter… she's part of me… I feel it when I'm with her. What other reason do I need."

Natasha crossed her arms, "I'd never take your daughter from you, Loki. Taking her back to the mansion wouldn't be taking her from you…but I don't think you realize how difficult it is to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back. I know you care about me and all but…I'd give you the world, Loki. I'd lay down my life for you…to know that you can't even…" Her voice trailed off as she shook her head, "I'm coming to grips with the fact that you don't love me. Now, I'm just trying to survive with this hole in my chest."

"To know that I can't even what?" Loki gaped. "Have you even been listening to me?"

"To know that you can't even say the words" she whispered. "It hurts to know you don't love me. You don't understand how hard it is to be in an all-consuming, can't-breathe-without-you love to…just caring."

"It's not so simple for me as it is for you. I feel it but I don't know where it came from. It's like I kissed you and suddenly… these feelings just shot up out of nowhere," Loki revealed as he brushed his fingers through his hair. He leaned back in the chair once more in exasperation. "You want me to say the words for what is in my heart. Was I so quick to say them the first time? I'm curious."

"No. I told you you weren't…but you weren't that far behind me…" she whispered. "When you couldn't say it…you showed me…you made me feel it…and when you finally did say it…you gave me her."

"And how did I show you?" Loki probed as he reached out and tucked a loose curl behind her ear. "How did I make you feel it?"

"You made me feel as though you needed me or else….or else your world would come tumbling down. You looked into my eyes when you were inside of me…stared directly into my soul as you claimed by body…you gave me all of you…"

"I need you very much in my heart, Natalia. In my mind, I don't like it. I start listing all the reason that I shouldn't. Then my head starts to implode." Loki shook his head slightly as he stood up from the chair and walked back into the bedroom, running his fingers along the dresser.

Natasha followed him to the bedroom and plopped down on the bed, "I once told you to stay out of your head…and stay in my arms."

Loki stared at her thoughtfully for a moment before moving to the bed and sitting down at her side. "That sounds like good advice," he smiled softly as he caressed her cheek, inclining his head as he kissed her passionately. The aching need for her filling him instantly as he pulled her into his arms.

Natasha melted against him as she passionately returns the kiss, moaning as they lay back against the mattress. She moved on top of him and broke the kiss just long enough to yank her shirt off and toss it away before returning her lips to his as she rubbed her body against his in an effort to gain friction against her core.

Loki gazed up at her wantonly, his hands moving to cup her voluptuous breasts as he used his magic to rid them of the rest of their clothes. "You're so beautiful, Natalia," he breathed in between kisses.

Natasha moaned against his lips as she trailed kisses down his neck, chest and stomach before she reached his erect shaft. Slowly, she took him into her mouth, sinking him into her throat inch by inch.

"Valhalla," Loki gasped in a desperate moan as he felt her mouth surround his aching member, his body arching in need. "By the nines… Natalia."

Natasha established a slow, sensuous rhythm as she sucked him in and out of her mouth. She smirked slightly as she felt him buck upwards, pleased that she could give him so much pleasure.

"No more," he panted as he tried to forestall the climax that he knew would be rapidly approaching if she continued her seductive rhythm. "I need you, Natalia… please… I want to be in you."

Natasha crawled back up his body and slowly wrapped her fingers around him as she guided herself onto his shaft, eagerly obliging to his request. She let her head drop back as she moaned and began rolling her hips forward, "Better?"

"Yes.. yes.. you feel so good," Loki moaned as he felt her wetness and heat surround him. He had never experienced anything more pleasurable than the feel of her body. His dark green eyes gazing in ecstasy as he watched her move on top of him, his hands tightening against her hips. "My Natalia… mine… my beautiful Natalia."

Natasha panted as her eyes rolled closed. She was getting dangerously close to the razor's edge of her orgasm and she was desperate to fall over the edge with him. She moved harder…faster, her hands placed upon his pecs to balance her as her movements build up to a sensual frenzy. Finally, they came together as a symphony of delicious moans, gasps and sweet whispers spilled from their lips.

Natasha collapsed against his chest as she panted softly, her body shuddering softly atop his as they both worked to calm their breathing and float down off of their orgasmic high.

Loki wrapped his arms around her tightly, breathing in her scent as he tried to keep the noise in his head at bay. "I never want to move, pet."

Natasha moaned softly and kissed his chest, "Me either…I love feeling your body against mine…"

She eventually fell asleep curled into his side, but Anya began fussing in her sleep. Natasha was completely knocked out and didn't hear her.

Loki got up from the bed at the sound of Anya whimpering in the other room. He moved to her swiftly as he gently cradled her in his arms, swaying back and forth as she slowly fell back to sleep. "My daughter," he whispered as he kissed her soft curls. "My sweet little girl."

Natasha moved in the bed and felt his absence immediately. She quickly sat up and looked around before noticing the sliding door to their daughter's room was slightly ajar. She put on her robe and slowly opened it to find Loki asleep in a chair with Anya asleep against his chest. She smiled and leaned against the door frame as she stared at the sweet sight before her.

He finally looked like the man she loved…


	16. Chapter 16

Loki stood in front of the full length mirror in the corner of his bedroom. His dark green eyes taking in the sight of his princely attire. The long green cape falling down over his shoulders. He knew that his father would be at the royal banquet. He had been scheduled to return from Vanaheim a little while ago. He was nervous. He wasn't sure what to expect. In his own memory, it had been barely a week since he had seen his father. In reality he hadn't spoken to him in five years. In reality, he wasn't really his father at all. But he still thought of him that way. But did his father?

Natasha stepped up behind him and slowly placed her hands on his forearms. She knew he was nervous about seeing Odin, and wanted to do her best to comfort him. Natasha gently turned him around and kissed his lips, "You look wonderful…is there anything I can do for you?"

"I'm alright especially since I will have you with me," Loki smiled softly as he hooked his arm through hers. "This will be your first royal banquet, pet. Are you excited?"

Natasha looked down at her elaborate formal wear, "I'm actually more nervous than anything, but I'm sure I'll be fine."

She kissed him again, "I'll be by your side the whole night. Unless our little princess pitches a fit with the governess your mother employed, I won't be more than a step away from you."

A knock on the door informed them that it was time for them to head out.

"His Royal Highness, Loki Odison and the Lady Natasha of Midgard," the guard announced formally as they entered the hall. Loki knew that his parents would not yet be here. The King and Queen would not be announced until all of the guests had arrived. He glanced around the expansive chamber and noted Thor in the far corner talking with the warriors three. He decided quickly against joining in that conversation as he led Natasha toward the banquet table where the hors d'oevre's were laid out.

"Mother spends days planning the menu for these things," he mused as he gazed at the wide variety displayed along the long table.

"Good evening, love," Lorelei crooned as she came to stand at his other side.

"Eh heh heh heh, hello, my dear," Loki shook his head slightly as he looked up from the table. She was nothing if not persistent. "I hope for my brother's sake that your sister forgoes coming this evening."

"Amora is in Alfhiem so Thor is safe from her advances this evening," she smiled. "Did you purchase your pony yet, love?"

"Hardly, there will be plenty of time for that," Loki advised. "If you'll excuse us, I need to greet my brother…"

"It's obvious she is going to have an infinity for horses just like you, love." Lorelei interrupted. "I've never seen one so small take such a liking to them."

Natasha's eyes narrowed as soon as she mentioned a pony…didn't Loki mention he might want to purchase a pony for their daughter the day he took her for a walk when she was trying on those god forsaken evening gowns? As Lorelei continued speaking, Natasha realized that the goddess had come into contact with Anya.

"Excuse me. When was she around my daughter, Loki?" interrupted Natasha, completely ignoring Lorelei, just as she'd done her.

"Pardon?" Loki puzzled as he gazed down at the stern look on her face. "Anya and I ran into Lorelei at the stables the other day, pet."

"Yes, and she was so enthralled by the steeds especially the chestnut," Lorelei added cheerily. "She didn't want to stop petting that mare. Remember, love?"

Natasha's grip painfully tightened on his hand, but she kept the sugary sweet smile on her face as she regarded Lorelei carefully. It always irked her nerves when she called him "love". He'd purposely left out the fact that he'd come into contact with Lorelei while with their daughter.

She'd made it very clear she didn't want that bitch near Anya, and Loki had directly violated that.

"Lorelei. Would you please excuse us?" asked Natasha tightly as she squeezed his hand even harder.

Loki's dark green eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened as he felt the painful squeeze of her fingernails pressing into his hand. What in the nine realms was her problem? "Pardon me, my dear. I'm sure we will cross paths again before the evening is through." He bowed slightly toward LoreLei as a gentlemen would when leaving the presence of a lady before he let Natasha lead him towards the other side of the room as he pulled his hand away from hers. "What has gotten into you, pet? That hurt."

"Oh? It did? You know what hurts even more? Knowing that you let that bitch near my kid! And what is with that nauseatingly sweet 'love' nickname you jerks call each other?! You still call me pet and I've had your kid. You know what really sucks? You remember her. You obviously care about her. I fucking hate her and I told you I didn't want her anywhere near Anya. I don't trust her at all," she whispered angrily.

Natasha closed her eyes and took a few breaths in an effort to calm herself. When she spoke again, her voice was still low, "Where is the goddamn alcohol in this party?!"

"Are you serious?" Loki exasperated. "You are upset because she was at the stables while I was there? What did you expect me to do stop Anya from enjoying the horses because she showed up? 'Love' is just a term of endearment and it's hers not mine, I've never called her that… ask her why she uses it. I've known her since I was fifteen… we're friends now that's all."

Natasha's heated gaze flicked to Lorelei's before returning to Loki. She sighed, "During our time together, we hit a rough patch…and I moved into the basement while you…and Lorelei shared the master bedroom. She was constantly reminding you that you owned me…I was beneath you…so she convinced you to fire your maid and attempt to force me to clean the house." Natasha lowered her head and sighed, "You forced me to wear an apron…and I could just imagine her laughing at me…so, I refused. I went on hunger strike…got pretty sick…it took me passing out and getting a gash on my forehead for you to snap out of it and stop treating me that way…but I'll never forget how she influenced you to treat me that way. She hates me. I hate her…but you know her better than you know me…and for whatever reason, you fall victim to her manipulations. I don't trust her around my child."

"I'm sorry that I did that to you, darling, and I understand why you don't like her," Loki soothed. The more he heard about himself, the more he never wanted to remember the past five years. "But she would never hurt my daughter. And more importantly, I would never let anyone hurt her. Like I said, I've known her since I was fifteen. We are very good friends, on and off lovers yes but most importantly friends. We were just talking. There is nothing for you to worry about and there is nothing for you to be jealous about, pet. Alright?"

Natasha lowered her head and nodded weakly, obviously not fully convinced. She had little faith in him where the goddess was concerned.

Finally, all the guests had arrived and, as the king and queen were announced, the crowd parted like the Red Sea to allow them passage down the middle of the room toward the dais.

Loki took Natasha's hand as he walked toward the bottom of the dais to stand next to his brother. He watched with bated breath as his father announced that the banquet was in honor of his son's long awaited return home. After the applause died down, the King ordered the music to play and the party to commence as he walked down the dais to his children.

"Loki, my son," Odin replied tentatively as he came to stand in front of him. "I'm very glad to see you."

"As am I, father," the young god replied softly before he felt his father's arms wrap around him in a tender hug.

"I have longed for you to be here, Loki," the All-Father entreated. "May we talk in private for a little while? We never really got a chance to really talk and I know you have questions and perhaps I can do better this time at answering them."

Loki nodded before turning toward Natasha. "I'll be back in a bit, pet," He advised, leaning in to kiss her cheek as he whispered. "Thank you for being with me." He proceeded to follow the All-Father out a side door of the great hall into a private room.

Lorelei maneuvered her way toward Natasha. "Don't have quite as good a grip on him as you use to, do you?" She gibed with a wicked grin.

Natasha, who'd been holding a glass of red wine, fake-tripped toward the goddess, spilling the glass down the front of her silvery white gown. Natasha gasped, "Oh no! Oh dear. I'm so sorry…that will definitely stain."

Lorelei hissed in anger and embarrassment as she desperately attempted to shake the liquid off of her. Natasha handed her a napkin and walked away, smirking.

Lorelei stared at her ruined dress evilly. It had been a favorite. She called upon her magic to switch herself into a light blue satin gown that was equally beautiful if not her first choice. She followed after Natasha determined to annoy her as much as possible during Loki's absence.

"You, poor thing. I can forgive your lack of manners... what else can be expected of a lowly Midgardian but also I must make allowances for how distressed you must be over Loki's loss of memory," the sorceress mused vindictively. "I see he still doesn't wear his ring. I'm quite certain he never will."

Natasha laughed softly, "Lorelei…were you born a bitch, or did you have some sort of special training? I'm curious. Cause your perfect mixture of snobbishness, skankiness and sheer opportunistic bitchiness is seriously impressive. Obviously, you had to learn that from somewhere, right?"

"I'm sorry, did that come off as bitchy?" Lorelei grinned evilly. "I was just trying to be helpful. It is always good to be prepared for the future. And that would be when Loki finally grows tired of you which is inevitable. But he never grows tired of me. And he didn't forget me either."

Natasha smirked, "Of course he didn't. One must never forget exactly what they should be avoiding."

Frigga suddenly walked over and looped her arm into Natasha's, "I hope you're not being forced to absorb too much profanity, my dear." With those words, Frigga narrowed her eyes at Lorelei.

Lorelei smiled sweetly at Frigga. "Your majesty, we were just talking about the common ground we share in Loki. Despite our differences we can agree that his happiness is most important." Her green eyes shifted back toward Natasha as she brushed her strawberry blonde hair behind her shoulder. She had hoped to get to needle her for a little longer. She had so much more ammunition up her sleeve. She was fairly certain there were quite a few things that she could tell her that he had never bothered to mention. She turned her attention back to the Queen. "It is lovely to see you, Your Majesty. It has been far too long. I think it was nearly two months ago, wasn't it? I always enjoyed seeing you in Vanaheim when Loki visited."

"Yes, his visits were always pleasant," Frigga remarked coolly. "If you'll excuse us, dear. I need to take my daughter-in-law to meet a few people." The Queen led her away as she whispered to her side. "Please don't let Lorelei get to you. The afternoons that he came to Vanaheim were to visit with me not her. He wanted to bring you and Anya to see me but he was nervous about using his teleporting spell with the baby and he didn't want to ask Heimdall. You should see the way he lit up whenever he talked about the two of you. He loved you dearly. He still does."

Loki re-entered the banquet with his father, a great sense of relief filled him. He had been afraid that perhaps he would come to believe as he had been told that he used to. That his father didn't care for him at all. That he only rescued him for political reasons. But after speaking with his father, he knew for certain that didn't feel that way. He felt closer to him than he had since he was a small boy.

The young god caught sight of his mother and Natasha a few feet away. He smiled as he moved toward them swiftly. He was in quite a jovial mood. "So which one of you beautiful ladies will I get to dance with first?" he grinned impishly.

"Don't be silly, my son," Frigga smiled as she kissed his cheek. "Now go dance with your wife."

Loki's eyes narrowed for a moment at her words. He didn't like that she had referred to her as his wife. He had never married anyone. He closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled softly. He was thinking too much, he mused. He didn't want to spoil his happy mood. He bowed to the Queen as she moved back towards the dais before turning his attention back to Natasha.

"May I have this dance, Natalia," the young god inquired with a sweet smile.

Natasha was happy to see that Loki looked even happier now than he was when he first went into the meeting with his father. That mean everything went well and he could rest assured that he had his family's love and support. She knew how much that meant to him. Even during his days of exile on earth with her, she could tell there was something missing, and she knew it had plenty to do with missing his family as it once was.

He never would have been able to make up with his father like this had it not been for the accident and his memory loss…maybe it was a blessing after all. Maybe this was where he truly belonged…not with her and Anya. Loki did seem happier and more relaxed here. He was a prince. Raised in the royal grand halls of the palace…

When he approached, Natasha forced a polite smile to her face before curtsying and delicately placing her hand in his. She stepped forward as the music began to play and slowly began to move with him. Her thoughts were preoccupied.

Natasha looked up at him as they danced, "I'm really happy for you. I know how important your family is to you. I guess the memory loss was worth it because it gave them back to you…this is where you belong. We all have to find our place in life…"

"Well, Father is still very adamant that I return to work for SHIELD," Loki revealed as they swayed along the dance floor. He pressed his lips against her temple, closing his eyes for a moment as he breathed in her scent. He enjoyed being near her. He could get lost in her so easily, he mused to himself. "At least for a little while. I don't like it at all and I'm not looking forward to it. But he explained his reasons and I very begrudgingly understand his motives." He gazed down at her with a devilish grin. "But we can visit in the interim and it will give you a chance to get used to it before it becomes a more permanent home for the two of you."

Natasha blinked as she looked up at him, "Permanent home? Here? I…I hadn't thought of moving here. I didn't think you'd want to arrange something so…permanent involving me." She realized how dumb she must have sounded and softly shook her head, "I guess I wasn't prepared for life in a royal Asgardian court. I never thought I'd have to raise Anya as a princess."

"Well, she is a princess, pet," Loki smiled as he twirled her in his arms, bringing her back snuggling against him as his hand rested on the small of her back. "A tiny goddess.. eh heh heh heh… and I look forward to raising her as such."

Natasha laughed softly, but she was preoccupied. What was she if her daughter was a princess? Loki refused to acknowledge their marriage…did that make Anya illegitimate in his eyes? Too many questions swirled around her head.

"Are you still upset about the stables?" Loki inquired as he noticed her quiet mood. "If nothing else, my pet, please believe that I will never let any harm come to my daughter. You really don't need to worry about Lorelei."

Natasha sighed a bit, "I know that. She just has a way of trying to be as hurtful to me as possible….and sometimes it works."

Loki gazed at her thoughtfully as the dance came to an end. He looped his arm through hers as he guided her toward a more secluded corner of the hall. "Did she do something to upset you while I was with my father?" he inquired curiously. He could tell that something was definitely bothering her.

Natasha sighed and tried to shake off the tension in her frame, "She always has a way of needling me. I'm sorry. I'll be fine. This night isn't about me. It's about you and your family. I want you to know that I'm really happy for you…I'm alright. I promise."

"Well, technically you are a big part of this evening, my pet," Loki smiled softly as he captured a long, lush curl of her hair between his fingers. "Since you are the one I wish to spend it with. Tell me what is bothering you, darling."

Natasha smiled as she placed a gentle hand on his chest, "I'm pleased that you want to raise your daughter as a royal…I just get caught up with the logistics of things. Do you consider her to be illegitimate since you don't recognize our marriage? Am I demoted to concubine once we move here? I just…it's just a lot of technical questions that I know can wait until later."

"I see… for your technical question, pet," Loki advised soberly. "Asgard has a very patriarchal system directly stemming to one's father. There are no marital names as in your Midgardian ways. I am the son of Odin and even though biologically I'm not. The fact that he acknowledges me as his is all that is needed for me to be titled as Odinson. And Anya is Lokidottir, the daughter of Loki. That is how it is done in Asgard."

The young god pursed his lips in thought. He understood now what it was that was truly bothering her. The subject of marriage brought his mind instantly to a more moody place. "Demoted? It sounds like a business arrangement, pet. Just so you know… a concubine is one that is taken on when you already have a wife. So to answer your question, no you are not my concubine."

Natasha took his hand, "This is why I didn't want to talk about this with you. You hate the thought of being married to me, and it always makes you so tense and moody. It's fine. I'm learning to live with that. I didn't mean to make it sound like a business arrangement or anything. I was just trying to make a point of letting you know what it feels like. I'm technically nothing to you now. Not even a concubine. I'm just the woman who, according to you, managed to bear your illegitimate child despite the fact that you never wanted children."

She rubbed her temples and sighed before favoring him with a slight smile, "We both have a lot of noise in our heads…and that's what mine sounds like. I can't help but continuously believe that I mean little to you now…I can almost see you physically tense at the idea of being tied to me…it hurts. I can't lie about that. I'm just…I'm trying to live with that now. That's all."

"Anya is not illegitimate as I told you two seconds ago, she is my daughter, Lokidottir, that is her title," Loki reiterated as his dark green eyes gazed into her bright blue. "You aren't nothing to me, pet. I'm crazy for you. There is nowhere I would rather be than with you. You mean the world to me, truly. I only have eyes for you, darling. I want you with me. You and Anya. I don't see what my lack of interest in marriage has to do with how I feel about you."

Natasha smiled a little and nodded as she looked into his eyes. He was telling the truth; at least…he only had eyes for her and their daughter. That made her feel better. She threaded her fingers into his and leaned in, "I would love it if you could show me just how crazy you are for me…"

She smirked as her thumb sweetly stroked his palm and she leaned in even closer, "I grow wet every time I imagine you inside of me. Claiming me the way no other man can. Thrusting in so deep…as if you're trying to touch my soul…tell me, love…do you think we could beat our newest record of 8 hours? I want you to fill me with so much of your seed that I feel it leaking from me for hours later…reminding me exactly who I belong to."

With that, Natasha casually smirked and looked around the party, taking a glass of champagne from a tray as it passed by them.

"It would be in bad taste to leave a party in my honor before the last guest had departed," Loki mused as he took the flute from her hands and took a sip. His emerald eyes sparkling with mischief as he handed her back the glass "But I think I need to get a breath of fresh air on the veranda for a moment perhaps you'd care to join me." He leaned forward as he whispered against her ear. "It can be very secluded and I know ways of making it even more so."

A shiver crept up her skin as she set the glass down and took his hand before following him out of the room. When they reached the veranda, Natasha smirked, "So…did you want me to take a look at the view? Have a little chat? Or did you have something more…interesting in mind?"

Loki smiled wickedly as he pulled her into the darkened corner of the veranda, pressing her body against the wall as he gave her a passionate kiss. His lips moving along her jaw, down her throat to the swell of her breasts rising and falling so deliciously beneath her low cut top. "You are so beautiful, Natalia. So sexy… and all mine."

Natasha moaned as she reached between them and quickly unlaced his pants. They would have to make this quick…which meant it would be deliciously rough and fast. She didn't mind. She loved it rough…

Loki lifted her up as he pressed her harder against the wall, pushing up her gown, the material billowing around them as he positioned himself between her legs. impaling her on his straining shaft as he began a maddening pace. "Valhalla,.. Natalia," he purred as he nipped at her bare shoulder. "You're my Valhalla."

"Oh my god…Loki…yes…fuck me…harder", she whimpered quietly as he slammed into her writhing body at a deliciously brutal pace. Natasha panted against his ear, but she gasped and quickly covered his mouth as a drunken party-goer stumbled out onto the balcony with their drink. They were shrouded by darkness, but she knew that a look in their direction would give them away. The reveler was soon joined by another drunk, who stumbled out toward their equally intoxicated friend.

She wanted to finish…she needed to finish. She was so close.

Loki's grin deepened as he used his magic to darken the natural shadows surrounding them. He moved his hand between them, rubbing his thumb in circles along her most sensitive spot. His other hand tightening against her hip as he moved hard against her surging upward in a punishing rhythm as he bit his lip to stifle his moans.

Natasha's breath hitched in her throat as he began thrusting harder into her body while toying with her clit. It took every ounce of willpower she had to keep from crying out in pleasure as her body was overcome with pleasure. She came hard, panting heavily and whimpering softly as her body shuddered against his.

"Eh heh heh heh, you are so delicious, darling," Loki whispered against her ear as he gently rested her legs back down on the wooden planks of the veranda. The two drunken nobles talking loudly a few feet away while he rebuckled his pants and placed a soft kiss along her lips. "My favorite treat, pet, eh heh heh heh," he winked playfully. "I'm already hungry for more."

Natasha smiled as she softly kissed his lips and fixed her dress. She would have to calm herself quickly since she knew her face, neck and chest were flushed.

Loki returned to the party with an impish grin as he enclosed his hand in hers bringing her towards his brother who was standing along the wall with a large plate of food.

"Good evening, brother," Loki greeted as he stood at his side. "Is Volstagg finishing off the rest of the buffet table?" he jested before focusing his gaze back to Natasha. "You could probably use some sustenance, pet." he winked. "Here you stay with Thor. I want to see if I can guess what you would like."

Thor glanced at Natasha and furrowed his brows, "Are you alright, Lady Natasha? You look a bit…flushed."

She had to fight the blush that fought to add even more redness to her already rosy cheeks. "Hm? I'm fine. Thank you for asking, I'm just—I'm fine."

Thor didn't seem convinced because he continued prodding, "Perhaps you should sit. You seem a bit jittery."

Loki held the plate in his hand as he stared across the myriad of foods spread out along the table, trying to decide what would be most to her liking. He began to place his choices on top of the dish as he made his way down the table.

"I'm so glad that you and your father have reconciled, love," Lorelei crooned as she came to stand at his side. "I know what a heavy weight it was on you no matter how you tried to act like it didn't matter."

"Thank you," he replied absently as he continued to scrutinize the fare in front of him.

"Does this mean that you will be staying on in Asgard?" She probed curiously.

"Eventually," Loki divulged as he turned his gaze upon her more fully. "I will be staying here a few weeks, my dear, and then I have to return to Midgard per the All-Father's mandate. But only for a few months and then we will be back for good." He picked up one last item to add to the plate. "By the way, pet. I don't want to hear that you've upset Natasha again. Do we understand each other?"

"We always do, love," Lorelei replied with a half-smile. "Do you really think that she is going to agree to live here permanently?"

"It has already been decided," Loki advised as he took a step away from the table.

"That's because she's already here, love," Lorelei forewarned. "Wait until she is back in her own realm. I guarantee her attitude will be much different then. Don't be surprised when she puts a price on their return to Asgard, namely a ring around your finger." The strawberry blonde brushed her hair back along her shoulder before placing a tentative hand against his forearm. "I know you always hated it when I would have my little bouts of jealousy and clinginess, as you use to say, but believe me she far surpasses me on my very worst day. She will manipulate you however she has to in order to get that ring on your finger."

"Thanks for the warning, pet," Loki smirked. "But I'm not so easily manipulated. You would do well to remember that, my dear. Enjoy the rest of your evening."


	17. Chapter 17

Natasha spotted Lorelei talking to Loki across the room and immediately tensed. Thor continued to devour the food from his plate as Natasha stood beside him, glaring at the goddess beside her husband…well, he wasn't her husband as far as he as concerned. She had to remember that.

When Loki finally did return to them, she was relieved. She thanked him for the food and began eating a few pieces here and there. As the night wound down, Natasha decided she should go check on Anya, so she left the hall to return to their chambers. She found out that Anya had a bit of a rough start to her night, but eventually fell asleep and stayed that way.

Natasha smiled down at her sleeping daughter before gently reaching over the side of the crib to stroke her head, "My beautiful little girl…did you know that you're a princess?"

Loki closed the door gently behind him as he moved towards Natasha standing beside the crib. It had been a long evening but the last of the nobles had finally departed the hall. He was very glad to be back in his chambers. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he rested his chin against her shoulder. "How did our little princess fair this evening?"

Natasha smiled at the sensation of his body pressed to hers before whispering, "The nanny said she had a bit of a rough start, but she's alright now."

She adjusted the blanket on top of her daughter before guiding him out of the room and closing the sliding doors that separated her daughter's nursery from their room.

"Are you tired?"

"Exhausted, pet," Loki replied with a sideways smile as his dark green eyes roamed up and down her body greedily. "I should really get to bed." He enclosed her face in his hands as he leaned in for a greedy kiss, wrapping her up in his arms as he walked her backward towards the bed. "I love this dress," he whispered against her lips. "There was not a woman in that hall that could hold a candle to you, my pet. You are so beautiful, Natalia."

Natasha giggled and moaned against his lips as her body eagerly pressed against his, "Well, thank you so much for that compliment, my dear…you looked devastatingly handsome as well. I'm so sorry though. You said you loved this dress, but I really can't stand to have it on me anymore…I'd much prefer to be naked."

"Eh heh heh heh, let me help you with that, pet," Loki grinned as he turned her around and began undoing the laces of her gown. His lips suckling along her shoulder as his fingers worked the strings tortuously slow before his fingertips finally reached her skin as he splayed his hands across her back, moving the materially languidly off her shoulders, his lips moving teasingly along her flesh. "I adore your body… you are a work of art, my darling."

Natasha moaned in delight as she felt his lips pepper her skin with deliciously soft kisses. She smiled at him over her shoulder and bit her lip as her body shuddered beneath his mouth, "I love it when you kiss me like this…you touch me as if you're worshiping me…it's almost reverent."

"I do… I adore every inch of your body… I yearn for you like no other, Natalia," Loki whispered against her skin as he let her gown pool at her feet.

Natasha blushed and smiled at him before moving toward the bed and laying back against the mattress. She slowly ran a hand down her chest and stomach as he watched her, "I love the way you look at me…it makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world…I want you so badly, Loki. No man has ever made me feel this way. I need you…"

Loki lied down next to her on the bed, his hands exploring her body as he kissed her softly. "I need you, too… so desperately… the more I'm with you the more desperately I need you. I can't get enough of you, pet. I'll never get enough of you."

Natasha moved to straddle his hips, "I'll never get enough of you either, Loki. I'm yours…do whatever you want to me, baby." She stroked his chest and began grinding down on him, "Tell me what you want from me…"

"What do I want from you? I want you take me inside of you… I want you to scream my name… tell me your mine over and over…" He whispered huskily as he gripped his hands along her hips. "I can never hear it enough, Natalia."

Natasha gasped as she slowly lowered herself onto his throbbing member, moaning as she fully impaled herself. She smiled as her head dropped backwards. She just wanted to relish the sensation of him inside of her…

Loki groaned at the feel of her warmth enveloping him. "Valhalla… truly, darling… you are… made for me… you're all I want… all I'll ever want."

Natasha slowly began rolling her hips against him as she cupped her breasts in her hands, gently squeezing as she tweaked her nipples.

"Oh god, baby…I love you…"

Loki thrust up to meet her, his dark emerald eyes gazing up at her in ecstasy, his hands moving up and down her body. "Yes..," he gasped at the sound of her words. "Oh Natalia.. Natalia… I…" He bit his lip in an attempt to stifle the words that he knew were skirting so close to the surface. He didn't want to say them. He felt like it was the last bit of control that he had. He was afraid of losing himself completely. These feelings were so far from the him that he knew. Love and Marriage were not things that he ever aspired to. "You feel so good… you're all I want… my Natalia."

Natasha kissed him hungrily as she pressed her forehead against his, moving seductively above him as her hips moved in eager circles. She wrapped her arms around his neck and moaned before she looked into his eyes, her gaze intently locked on his as she slowed her movements. Natasha took his face in her hands, "You're my everything, Loki…you're everything to me…I need you more than the air I breathe…"

Loki crushed his lips to hers in a greedy kiss, flipping her beneath him as he took over a desperate pace. Her love for him was overwhelming, he had never experienced anything like it. His mind was near dizzy with an explosion of feeling as he felt that intolerable pleasure overtake their bodies. "Say it again… tell me your mine."

"I'm yours, my love…forever and always. No man will ever touch me…my body, my soul…everything that I am is yours…oh god…Loki! I'm cumming!" she cried as her body convulsed in pleasure.

Loki collapsed on his back, his body still trembling from his release. He propped his head on his elbow as he gazed down at her, his long, slender fingers making circular designs along her stomach lazily. "I wish I knew what I thought the very first time I saw you, pet. The very first time I touched you… when did I realize that I…" That he loved her, he thought but he didn't say it. "I know what I thought when I woke up in the infirmary and you were next to me," the young god mused as he placed a sweet kiss against her shoulder. "I thought 'what a beautiful woman and she seems so happy I'm awake, I wonder why'." His dimples deepened as his tongue peeked out playfully between his teeth while he chuckled softly. "Eh heh heh heh… now I know why, pet. why you were so happy. Why you looked at me that way."

Natasha laughed softly and stared lovingly into his dark green eyes, "That was the hardest month of my life. I just wanted you back. I was so scared I'd never feel your arms around me again…never hear you say…" Her gaze flicked away from his momentarily, "I could go for some wine…how about you?"

She didn't need to finish her sentence Loki knew what she wanted. His emerald eyes gazing at the gold band that she always wore around her neck. She wanted him to say that he loved her and put that ring back on his finger but he couldn't do it. He leaned back against the pillows, stretching lazily for a moment. "Sure, darling. I am feeling a little parched. Eh heh heh heh," he smiled as he conjured a bottle and two glasses along the nightstand at her side.

Natasha smiled good naturedly and leaned over to pick up the wine and open the cork. After pouring two glasses, she handed him one and clanked hers against his, "To new beginnings…"

"To new beginnings," Loki smiled as he took a sip before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss along the pulse point of her neck. "I look forward to making many new memories with you, my pet."

Natasha smiled at him and kissed his lips, "Are you the seam of your pants kinda fellow, or do you have any specific plans for the memories you plan to make with me?"

"Nothing very specific… I look forward to celebrating the Winter Solstice with the two of you. We should be returning to Asgard in perfect time for it when the whole SHIELD business is over. I loved it when I was little and getting gifts in honor of the Wild Hunt." Loki mused as he sipped at his drink leisurely. "Many more nights like this but that goes without saying, I'm sure, pet." He winked.

Natasha kissed his lips and laughed, "The Winter Solstice. Is it like Christmas? I've never really celebrated. So…gifts, huh? Do we exchange gifts? I wouldn't know what in the world to get you. You're a prince. You have everything."

"It is a celebration of the end of Winter," Loki divulged as he twisted a curl of her hair between his fingers. "It lasts for twelve days. There are feasts and parades and tournaments. And on the eve of the final day, the Valkyries were supposed to fly through the night for the Wild Hunt and if they found you to be brave and pure of heart they would leave a gift in the hearth for you to find in the morning. I think if it had been true I probably would never have found anything... eh heh heh heh but luckily even as mischievous as I was, I always managed to get a present." The young god's grin widened as he remembered his childhood days. "Adults exchange presents, too. Small things, you know, between lovers or husbands and wives. Mostly it's just lots and lots of parties. I think you're right though now that the two of you are here with me. I think I do have everything, darling."

"Of course you always ended up with a present…who could resist your charm? I'll think of something to get you…"

Natasha smiled at him as she set her wine down and rolled onto her back before stretching languidly. She slowly began rubbing a hand down her body before slowly resting it at the apex of her thighs. A mischievous smirk played across her lips as she let out a soft moan, "Don't mind me…just getting ready for round three…."

"Just wrap yourself in a great big bow and nothing else, pet," Loki smirked. He trailed his hand up her thigh as he watched her movements with lust-filled eyes.

She laughed softly as she dipped her middle finger inside of her and bit her bottom lip. Natasha smirked at him, "What are you lookin' at, sexy?"

"The most beautiful woman that I've ever seen," Loki breathed as he slid his hand over hers, teasing her breasts as he flicked his tongue against her rosy tip.

Natasha let out another moan and shook her head, "I want to watch you while you watch me…I want to see the look on your face as I touch myself in front of you…"

She sat up, positioning herself along the bed so that he could have a perfect view of her slowly sinking her fingers in and out of herself, "Touch yourself, Loki…show me what you want me to do to you…"

Loki gave her a devilish smirk as he began stroking himself slowly. His dark green eyes gazing intently at the way her body arched as she pleasured herself.

Natasha's movements increased in speed and intensity as she watched him begin to stroke himself.

"Oh god…you make me so hot.."

"I love the sounds you make when I'm inside of you," Loki purred in his silky accent as he watched her move her fingers in and out of her core. His arousal throbbing with need as he imagined her warmth surrounding him. "You feel so good… and you taste even better, pet." He wanted his mouth on her right now. He wanted to devour every inch of her skin. He gripped himself tighter as his strokes increased.

Natasha whimpered softly as she moved her fingers and repositioned herself on her hands and knees, "I can't take it anymore! Please…get inside of me, right now!"

Loki moved behind her as he positioned himself at her entrance, embedding himself deeply. A harsh groan escaping his lips at the feel of her, so moist and soft. So tight as he thundered against her. "By the nines… so perfect." He gasped as he sucked in a startled breath.

Natasha gripped onto the sheets as he pounded into her. Her already moist heat gripped down onto his throbbing shaft as he drove her over the edge, causing her to cry out as she lowered her head. Her shuddering body roughly bucked backwards against his as she desperately attempted to milk him.

Loki moaned unabashedly, his hands gripping her hips as her body quivered around him while she reached her peak. "Valhalla," he gasped as he bucked within her, coming hard as he flooded himself into her.

Natasha panted as she fell forward, her body still softly shuddering as her body attempted to recover from her orgasm. She smiled wearily at him as he lay beside her, "I cannot keep my hands off of you…"

"I like the sound of that, pet," Loki grinned as he ran his fingers through her cascade of red curls. "I feel the same. I didn't know it was possible to want a woman this desperately."

"I feel the same way about you. I've never wanted a man more than I want you, Loki…" she murmured, connecting her lips to his for a sensuous kiss. Natasha didn't quite remember falling asleep. Her body had been so worn down, she must have just drifted off…but when she woke up, she felt soft, sweet kisses tracing the outline of her spine.

"Mmm…that's a good way to be woken up…how long was I asleep for?"

"A little over an hour, pet," Loki mused as he continued to a trail of kisses until he reached the nape of neck, brushing aside her long, lush curls as he suckled along her soft flesh. "You looked like you were having a very good dream… such a sweet smile."

Natasha laughed softly and squirmed in delight in response to his seductive attentions.

"Wow…you gave me one full hour break? That's impressive…" she murmured softly. She soon lost her ability to speak when his hands joined in on the fun. It felt like every time he touched her, she briefly lost control of her senses.

"My god…how do you do that to me?" she questioned as her body came roaring back to life.

"Do what, pet?" Loki teased as he moved his hand along her inner thigh, his mouth gliding along her shoulder as he pressed his body against her back.

"You turn me on in seconds. All it takes is one touch…one kiss and I'm suddenly in desperate need of your cock inside of me…" she moaned seductively at the feel of him pressing himself against her. "Oh god…I love feeling you kiss me…touch me…I can't get enough of you being inside of me."

"I would stay inside of you forever if I could, Natalia," Loki breathed along her skin as he rubbed his body against hers seductively.

Natasha turned her head to the side to grab the back of his neck and yank his lips to hers for a hungry kiss.

"Get inside of me. Now" she commanded against his lips.

Loki kissed her back greedily, happily obliging her demand as he moved her beneath him and claimed her with a forceful thrust of his hips.

Natasha cried out in uncontrollable ecstasy as he thrust himself deep into her dripping wet body.

Moments later, when their bodies were shivering and sated, she stretched slightly and pulled the blanket back over her body. She smirked sleepily at him and yawned, "I wonder how long of a break you're gonna give me this time…"

Loki couldn't seem to keep his hands or lips from her body for very long as they made love on and off through out the twilight hours. Eventually he fell into a peaceful sleep. He felt the touch of her lips along his chest as the sunlight began to shimmer through the curtains of his window. He was still half asleep as his eyes began to flutter open, a devilish grin ghosting across his lips. "Morning, little spider," he murmured as he stretched himself more fully awake.

Natasha smirked as she continued trailing kisses up his chest to his neck and ear as she lifted the sheet and slipped her hand inside to wrap her fingers around his shaft, "Yes…it is…"

His dark green eyes bore into hers as he quickly flipped her beneath him, making love to her with delicious abandon until it was time to truly start their day. They spent the morning breakfasting with his parents. His mother quickly roped Natasha into spending the afternoon with her. She planned on taking her to see her seamstress to commission some new dresses as well as some outfits for her granddaughter.

Loki spent most of the midday riding with his brother before returning to the palace for lunch. He was in a particularly good mood as they reminisced of their younger years and all the mischief they got into as teens. The young god wasn't very surprised when LoreLei appeared. Thor stood up and bowed, ever the gentlemen, and offered her a seat at their table as the conversation continued. The sorceress quickly ingratiated herself into the discussion.

"What brings you to the palace this afternoon, Lady Lorelei?" Thor probed as he finished the last bit of food from his plate.

"No need to be so formal, Thor," Lorelei smiled as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "This isn't a royal ball. Anyway, I was hoping to borrow your brother. I've been trying to work this new spell, Loki, and I'm having an awful time of it."

"Well, it never took much to frazzle you, my dear," Loki teased as he leaned back in his chair, his long slender fingers taping slightly against the table. "What is it exactly?"

"Now, now, you always told me that I was a fast learner, love," She protested in her sugary voice as she laid her hand over his.

The Thunder god stood up from the table suddenly as he bowed his head, his light blue eyes gazing behind his brother as he spoke. "Good afternoon, Lady Natasha."

"Good afternoon, Thor. No need to stand on my account", she said with a friendly smile and patted him on the shoulder.

Natasha approached Loki with a raised eyebrow before shamelessly plopping down in his lap and favoring him with a kiss that was likely inappropriate for a public setting, but she didn't care. It was time to mark her territory. If Loki said the ring didn't matter, he could prove it.

During the hungry kiss, Natasha was sure to shift against his lap just enough to cause a bit of friction against his crotch before the kiss drew to a close.

She smirked down at him and softly nuzzled his nose as she whispered against his lips, "Do I have to fuck you in front of this bitch for her to get the message that you're off limits?"

"Eh heh heh heh, Only if you want to give my brother a heart attack," Loki chuckled softly.

"Pardon me but I… um… I have some business to attend to," Thor replied uncomfortably as he moved to leave the table. "I'm sure I will see you both at dinner." he added before turning toward the sorceress. "Good day, Lorelei."

"Thor," she nodded as she gazed unhappily at the couple to her side. "About that spell, love."

Loki rested his hand against Natasha's thigh, giving her a chaste kiss along her soft, pink lips before turning his attention toward Lorelei. "I haven't forgotten, my dear. And I will help you with it but later. Meet me at the library at three and we will figure out what it is you're doing wrong. Now, if you'll excuse us."

"Certainly, love, I will see you in a little while then," Lorelei smiled, her light green eyes narrowing as she gazed at the black widow. "Good day, Natasha."

"You're lucky my mother didn't happen to walk by," Loki smirked as he pressed a quick kiss against the soft spot behind her ear. "I don't know about you but I have no desire to listen to a lecture on propriety… eh heh heh heh… not that I minded personally, pet."

Natasha smirked, "You know that possessive, hungry feeling you get when you think of another man touching me? Well, I get that feeling too…and right now…I need to make sure that by the time 3 o'clock rolls around and that slut is drooling over you, you won't want to even think about another woman. I want to fuck you until my name is permanently etched on your brain…and on your cock."

She gave him a hungry, passionate kiss, "Think we can make it back to the bedroom?"

"That won't be a problem," Loki grinned wickedly as he cast his teleporting spell, instantly they were sitting along the edge of the bed in his chambers. "I haven't thought of another woman since our first kiss, my pet." He stated honestly as he brushed his lips temptingly along her jaw.

Natasha moaned sweetly as she kissed his lips, then suddenly threw him backwards on the bed and jumped on top of him. The sex was wild, and the Black Widow was sure to leave plenty of "bite" marks along his neck before sending him off to his meeting with Lorelei still panting from the vigorous sex they'd had. She'd made him take her against the wall, on the bed and on the table of their room before time finally ran out. Of course, he was late…and Natasha lay back on the bed, smirking at him as she languidly stretched, enjoying the delicious ache in her body.

"Tell her I said Hi…"


	18. Chapter 18

Loki was still smiling, the delicious sated feeling filling his bones as he made his way into the library. Lorelei did her best impression of not being irritated by his lateness but he knew her too well not to know when she was perturbed. He helped her with her enchantment as he quickly got lost in the enjoyment and satisfaction that he always felt while working magic.

"Have you attempted to work ice magic, yet?" the sorceress probed. "You were teaching yourself when you and I were together in Midgard."

"I think I'd prefer to stay away from anything that has to do with Jotunnheim," the young god replied flatly. He might be technically a Frost Giant but he did his best not to think of it.

"You thought the same back then at first but then you realized that power is power no matter what its source," Lorelei divulged as she rested her hand against his shoulder.

"You have a point or should I say, I had a point.. eh heh heh heh," Loki mused as he moved to leave the library. "It looks like you've got a handle on your spell now, my dear. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

"I will," She crooned as she followed him out into the corridor. "I almost forgot, love. I have something for Anya." She opened her palm to reveal a small ragdoll in the image of an Asgardian Princess in a pale green gown.

"I remember when I gave you that," Loki smiled as he lifted the small doll from her hands.

"I'm a little old for dolls, well I was then, too," the sorceress advised wistfully. "Although I loved the gesture, love. She has spent years gracing my dresser but I think it is time the poor doll got to get played with."

"Thank you, pet," the young god smiled. "I'm sure she will love it."

Loki returned to his chambers to find them empty before immediately moving towards his parents rooms. Just as he had assumed he found Natasha with his mother as they sat along her veranda. They quieted when he entered and he wondered for a moment if they were speaking about him. He grinned widely as he moved towards his daughter who was being cradled in his mother's arms. He lifted her immediately and gave her a kiss along her forehead as he showed her the new toy.

"So what were you two discussing so seriously?" Loki mused thoughtfully as he gave his daughter another kiss.

Natasha smiled a little, "Your mother was just trying to figure out how she could help me convince you to have another little one. I told her that the pigs of Midgard likely have a better chance of sprouting wings and flying than convincing you to have another baby."

She glanced at the doll in Anya's hand and raised a questioning brow, "What's that, baby girl? Did daddy give that to you? Where'd you get this from, Loki?"

"Really, mother? Eh heh heh heh, you are very greedy aren't you?," Loki teased lightheartedly. "I've just gotten use to the one. And I'm quite content with this precious little beauty. Besides I think she enjoys having all the attention to herself. Right, shorty?" His grin widening as he watched her explore the new doll with her tiny fingers. "It was a present from Lorelei," he revealed in answer to Natasha's question, His eyes never moving from his little girl as he spoke. "Though technically from me as well. Your daddy picked her out, shorty, but you can probably tell that by the color of her dress… eh heh heh heh heh."

Natasha tensed, but Frigga didn't take notice, "Well, once you have one lovely child, you should be encouraged to do it all over again. Natasha tells me how pleasant her pregnancy was with Anya…and she needs a little sibling to play with. It would be a shame not to see how handsome your little boy would be…or how lovely another little girl would be."

As the queen babbled on, Natasha stared at the doll intently before clearing her throat and smiling politely at Frigga, "Would you mind taking care of Anya for a moment please?"

"Certainly! Come here my darling. Let us go for a walk!" she said, quickly plucking the infant from Loki's arms.

When they were left alone, Natasha crossed her arms, "Have I not explained how serious my issue with Lorelei is? I physically fought this woman before. She humiliated me. Convinced you to abuse me…and now you're giving my daughter toys from her? How are you certain she's not poisoning them or casting some sort of spell on them?! I told you I don't trust her! She hates me! What is wrong with you? Does being around her rob you of your brain cells?!"

"She couldn't place an enchantment on it without me sensing the mystical properties of it, pet," Loki divulged as his gaze narrowed. He didn't really appreciate her insult of his intellect. "Granted, darling, you are not her favorite person by any means but as I told you before she wouldn't do anything to my daughter. It was simply her way of acknowledging Anya's importance to me. I don't know why you are getting so upset."

Natasha narrowed her eyes, "You're quick to believe that she wouldn't hurt my daughter. Does it matter to you at all that she's hurt me? Obviously not. I don't even speak to Clint anymore…I don't even utter his name because it bothered you so damn much. He's a man who literally saved my life and I don't speak to him because he and I had a thing once…and here you are, giving presents to my daughter from that bitch! Spending time with her, teaching her spells. Laughing with her…joking with her. You know how much she's hurt me in the past and how horrible she is to me, yet you continue to stay chummy with her! And yet…you see nothing wrong with that! I don't know why I'm even surprised."

She stomped off in a huff, her arms tightly folded across her chest.

"Where do you think you're going, pet?" Loki demanded as he stormed down the hall after her. "I told her to leave you alone. Has she bothered you since the party? And you're right I don't see anything wrong with my friendship with her. As for that Clint person, the last time you brought him up to me was to describe how you were going to screw him and have his child. Is it any wonder I had a problem with him?"

Natasha got to their chambers and pushed the doors open. She stopped in the doorway in an effort to keep him from coming in, leaving the door just wide enough so that she could stick her head out to speak to him.

"I was just trying to get a rise out of you because you were acting like an unfeeling robot toward me you jerk! You don't love me, fine. You don't want to be married to me, fine. But the fact that you continue to laugh it up with someone who was so purposely cruel to me and has personally made it her mission to hurt me…I can't take it."

She slammed the door in his face and moved to the center of the room, raking her hands through her hair as she sat down on the bed.

"Fucking…stupid. He'd be better off with that bitch anyways. She fits in here…I don't."

Loki shoved the door open forcefully before slamming it shut behind him as he stalked forward angrily. "What in the name of Hel are you talking about? Have I ever once said I wanted to be with her? I don't and she knows that I don't. And I made it very clear to her that she is not to upset you again. You are being ridiculous. You know that I want you and nobody else."

"Is it really ridiculous to ask the man who claims to care about me to distance himself from a woman who has once thrown a green energy ball directly at my head? Is it soooo ridiculous that I ask the man who says he cares about me to maybe not be so chummy with a woman who humiliated me and once convinced him to force me into servitude? It's really that ridiculous for me to ask this of you after I've cut all ties with a man who saved my life and was my only friend while you get to spend afternoons with a woman who has literally made an attempt on my life?" she said, narrowing her eyes.

Natasha shook her head, "I…I don't even know what else to say to you if you still don't get it…"

"The ties weren't cut very completely since I recall him at my doorstep planning on taking you away and starting a nice little family somewhere," Loki snipped. "You didn't ask me to cut ties with her before and I obviously didn't think I had to when I had my memory or I wouldn't have been speaking with her when I visited my mother in Vanaheim. So why do you need me to now?"

"Because if I'm going to live here, I'm not comfortable with knowing she's going to pop into your presence at any time! I don't trust you around her! You've shown me that I can't! You hurt me deeply before because of her and I can't get over it. I can't get over how much you both humiliated me and seeing you with her brings it all back! I hate her and I hate it when she's around you because I can't help but think she's back to her old tricks and the next thing I know, I'll be in a dungeon or forced to scrub floors!"

Tears came to Natasha's eyes as she remembered the cold look in his eyes all that time ago. She shook her head, "You don't remember. But I do. Vividly. And like everything else…it doesn't matter to you nearly as much as it matters to me. You care for me, but I am nothing to you. You say that's not true…but it doesn't negate the fact that I'm the one person in your life who has no history with you. No real connection. The sex is amazing…and you care about me…and I've had this fight with you so many times, but it's never going to change anything…" Natasha paused, "Maybe we should just…work out a custody arrangement where Anya can spend a couple of weeks here every month…and a couple of weeks back home. I can't keep feeling like this. It's…this is not healthy. I don't want to take your daughter away, I won't, but I need to be with someone who gives me the same love and respect I give them. You have no idea how hard it is being in love with someone who doesn't love you back…I've fought long and hard enough. I can't do this anymore."

"Let's get one thing straight right now," Loki advised sternly. "You are never taking my daughter from me. The only custody agreement there will ever be is that she will be with me, wherever I am at all times." His dark green eyes narrowing considerably at the mere idea that she would think to take her from Asgard. "It's not fair of you to fault me for things that I don't even remember doing, pet. And I haven't even been released from the hospital for two weeks and you're telling me that you can't do this anymore? You have fought long and hard? Really is that what Midgardian's consider long and hard? So much for your great love for me."

"Stop criticizing the way I love you when you don't love me at all!" she snapped angrily as she crossed her arms and turned away from him. Natasha ran a hand through her hair, "You're still the same person, Loki. No…actually, it's worst, because you still think of her as a friend. Me…I'm just a woman who you woke up to and were later very disappointed to find you were married to me and had a kid with me. You grew to care for me. I'm not a friend. I'm nothing…."

Natasha laughed bitterly, "This, I am familiar with. Loki's way or the highway. You have to come back to earth for SHIELD stuff anyways…we don't have to worry about an inter-realm custody agreement for now…"

"There is nothing to work out, pet," Loki snapped. "When I return to Asgard, I will be taking her with me. There is nothing that will stop that. There is nothing you can do about it. If you don't want to come with us then you can arrange visits through Heimdall." He brushed his fingers through his hair in frustration. "And don't tell me how I feel about you. I don't understand how you can claim that you are nothing to me. What have I done except tell you and show you over and over how much you mean to me. Have I ever even glanced at another woman?"

"You would separate a nursing infant from her mother? Let's not forget here, Loki. I'm her primary caregiver and I have always been. When you were in your coma, I was a single parent. When you were still in denial about being a father and not wanting her, I was taking care of her by myself. I begged you for that child. You didn't even want her in the first place. I did! I wanted her before she was even conceived! It took you until after she was born for you to finally come around and decide you wanted to be involved and now you're going to try to take her from me!? When you didn't even want her in the beginning? You didn't even want to be her father when you found out she was yours!" Natasha glared at him and took a step forward, "Anya has been mine since before she was conceived…and no one…god or man, will ever separate me from her. Do you understand me?

"Whatever I thought before I woke up in the hospital doesn't matter at all anymore." Loki replied coolly. "You were the one who was so desperate to awaken my possessive nature. Well, congratulations, darling, because you got what you wanted. Anya is my daughter, my flesh and blood and no one will take her from me not even for a day. If you want to be near her than you are free to stay with us but if you want to leave you will be leaving without her. This is a patriarchal society, pet. She is Lokidottir, the daughter of Loki and that takes precedence over everything else. Do you think my mother could have walked out of this realm with either of her sons in tow? Please understand me when I assure you that she couldn't. So you can take that idea and wipe it away from your mind. The only thing that you have to decide is if you want to live with the two of us or not."

Natasha narrowed her eyes, "Patriarch takes precedence…I guess it take precedence over your daughter's well-being."

She crossed her arms, "The great Loki. God of Mischief, Lies and Tricks…always getting what he wants no matter what. Alright. I will stay for my daughter. But I will not be staying with you as long as you decide to keep Lorelei close. I'll ask Frigga if there are any other chambers available…"

Obviously, when Natasha returned to Frigga in the garden, she looked distressed. When the young woman quietly asked the goddess to arrange for her to be moved to another chamber, she understood why. Natasha was moved directly across the hall from Loki. Not necessarily the separation she was looking for, but at least they weren't in the same bed anymore. They didn't seem to think properly if sex was involved.

From there, she knew it was only a matter of time before Lorelei swooped in, and she desperately worked to mentally prepare herself for the inevitable sight of them together.

Loki leaned back along his bed with his daughter sitting in his lap as he read her one of his favorite childhood stories. Since Natasha had moved across the hall, he had become extremely possessive of the little girl. He was rarely away from her. It made for many awkward moments as they both sat in the little girl's company not speaking. He knew that Natasha would be crossing the hall into his chamber at any moment. It hurt him more than he liked to admit that she had left him so abruptly. He heard a slight tap on the door. He was surprised that she bothered knocking.

"Come in," he remarked abruptly before going back to reading. He wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her presence any more than that.

"Ah, the princess and the magpie," Lorelei smiled as she entered the room. "I remember that one well. It was always one of my favorites. How does your little princess like it, love?"

"Well enough," the young god replied flatly. He was disappointed that it wasn't Natasha. "What can I do for you, my dear?"

"Nothing, love, I just thought maybe you would want to talk," the sorceress mused as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "The fact that she has moved out of your room is not exactly a big secret. I told you she wouldn't be happy until you put that ring back on her finger."

Loki heard the light tap of her shoes long before he saw Natasha enter the room.

Natasha heard Lorelei, but couldn't bother to allow herself to be manipulated by the goddess any further. Everything that came out of her mouth was poison as far as Natasha was concerned.

She smiled at Anya, who clapped and reached up for her, "Hi love…"

Natasha kissed her daughters head as she plucked her off of Loki's lap, "Are you ready for a feeding my little one?"

She moved past Lorelei toward her own room. There was no way she was going to nurse her daughter in front of that woman.

"Ah, nursing. Well she won't be able to hold on to that little bit of control for much longer, love," Lorelei mused as she watched them walk out the door. "She is always so cold to you when she doesn't get her way. I remember when you were fighting because you didn't want to give her a child. You told me how much it hurt you how she acted toward you. How easily she shut off her feelings as if they never existed."

"I don't really feel like talking about her, pet," Loki replied as he stood from the bed. She was right though, he mused to himself. She said she would never leave him and that his memory didn't matter but look where she was… gone from him. She was so cold to him even though he told her how much she meant to him but she didn't care. She just wanted her damn ring.

"Well, that is what has always been good about us. We fight but we are always there when we are in need regardless." Lorelei replied sweetly. "Do you want to get out of here for a little bit since Anya is with her? Take your mind off things."

"Maybe another time, pet," He sighed as he gazed out the window.

"Well, if you can't free up your mind of those thoughts I know are swirling around in there than if I were you, I would march right across that hall and be with your daughter." Lorelei insisted. "You needn't show her any more deference than she shows you. She just walked into the room and plucked her from your arms without even acknowledging your presence. It's no wonder you're upset."

"You are right about that, my dear," Loki pondered as he turned away from the window and stared at the door.

"Well you know where you can reach me if you need anything, love," Lorelei soothed as she moved toward him and pressed a kiss along his cheek.

Loki watched her leave, waiting barely three seconds before he strutted across the hall and swung open the door to Natasha's chamber.

Natasha jumped slightly, quickly moving to cover herself as her startled daughter unlatched from her nipple. She shushed the infant and quickly switched her to the other breast, covering herself as she opened the top of her dress to give Anya access.

"What are you doing?!" she snapped, glaring at him. One look in his eyes told her that he'd likely been speaking to Lorelei…and, as usual, she'd filled his head with anger and resentment where he was concerned. "Ah. Nevermind. No need to answer that. Lorelei, right? I'm being cold…uncaring…my love for you was never real in the first place if I'm able to shut you out this quickly. What else? Oh…right. I'm being like this because of the ring…right? Heh. She's predictable. Sadly, so are you. I don't need a damn ring. I don't want it. What I want is love. I want my love back. If you never wanted to acknowledge our marriage, I wouldn't care…what hurts the most is when you love someone and they don't love you back. You care about me. I mean so much to you…that doesn't compare to love. Nothing does. Nothing ever will. Now if you'll excuse me…I'd like to finish feeding my daughter in peace."

"You're amazing. Yes, it is all Lorelei's fault that I'm annoyed," Loki replied sarcastically as he walked into the room and shut the door behind him. "It has nothing to do with the fact that you walked into my chamber, took my daughter from me without one word. Like I didn't even exist. Yes, your silent treatment and complete and utter bitchiness to me has nothing to do with it. You cold? How could anyone think such a thing."

Natasha rolled her eyes, "You have a gift for sarcasm."

She remained silent until she finished nursing Anya and put her down in her crib in the room adjoining hers. When she returned, she crossed her arms as she stood before him, "Alright. I apologize for not acknowledging you when I walked into your chambers. That was rude, but seeing Lorelei around my daughter always puts me on edge and it was my goal to get out of there as soon as possible. I'll make an effort to be more respectful…is that all?"

"No, it isn't, that's not all." Loki replied as he stepped toward her, enclosing her face in his hands as he claimed her lips in a passionate kiss.

Natasha returned his kiss with reckless abandon as they stumbled toward the bed. In their frenzy, she felt him begin to rid her of her clothes but she came to her senses and quickly shook her head, "Loki…I can't. I can't do this again…"

She pushed at his chest as she covered her eyes and began to cry.

"You don't understand what it's like…you don't understand what it's like to have a husband who is proud to call you his wife…and he tells you he loves you every day…then one day, that same man can't even stomach the thought of being married to you. He can't even tell you he loves you…you don't know how much it hurts to know I may have lost my husband forever."

She spoke through violent sobs and hiccups that made her body quake and tremble with emotion.

"And then that bitch…always around…you trust her and know her more than me."

"How can I ever know you better if you keep pushing me away?" Loki inquired softly as he wrapped his arms around her tightly and pressed a soft kiss against her lush red curls. "I can't help that I don't remember our life before… that my knowledge of you is limited to this little bit of time that we've spent together. Haven't I shown you how much you mean to me, how much I need you, that there isn't anyone else that I want? Are the words so important? The only person that can take me away from you is you. I don't want to be anywhere else, pet."

Natasha sniffled as she wiped at her eyes, "I don't think it's just the words, Loki. It's that I went to bed one night knowing what my future held…and now, I have no idea. We both know the truth is that you're not the same man I fell in love with. Lorelei once warned me that one day, you'd get bored and end up back with her. Is that the man who's standing in front of me? Everything that happened to you during those past five years that you don't remember…good and bad…made you into the man that I fell in love with and…now that you've forgotten all of that, you're not the same. We found common ground on the fact that we'd both been broken…unmade and remade. We could relate over what was happening with SHIELD and talk about our futures. You didn't care about returning to Asgard to take your rightful place at court or raise Anya as a princess…"

She paused and ran a hand through her hair, "The Loki I knew went through hell…and it gave him the unshakable power to love very deeply. Maybe I've been waiting for you to feel something that you simply don't have the capacity to feel for me. I was the right woman for the damaged Loki. I…I don't know if I can be enough for this..self assured prince. We're so different…"

"I'm not going to get bored, pet, and I'm not so self assured if I was then I wouldn't be so… I understand why its hard for you but can't you understand why its hard for me? I've never trusted anyone with… with what you're asking of me. I never said it wasn't in my heart," Loki entreated as he caressed her cheek tenderly. "Can't you give me a little longer than a week and a half? I thought I was making you happy? I know I was happy."

Natasha stared up into his eyes, "How was I making you happy. I can't help but think the only reason you feel anything for me is the intense physical attraction we share. Obviously, the sex is unlike anything we've ever felt. Our bodies are like magnets…but…what else do you feel for me? How can you relate to me now? I'm having to re adapt to all of these different expectations you have of me, along with adapting to the fact that you don't ant to be married and don't love me…I mean. It's hard, Loki. We went from being completely content on earth to me having to raise a daughter who's the princess of this grand realm. I'm trying…it's overwhelming."

"Well, when you are actually talking to me, pet," Loki remarked with a half-smile as he ran his fingers along her strawberry curls. "I rather enjoy your company. I just feel better when you're around. I can't explain it. I feel like I'm where I belong."

Natasha closed her eyes, "…and what of Lorelei? You just witnessed her manipulations…"

"Darling, what are you talking about?" Loki puzzled as he furrowed his eyebrow.

"She said something to you before you came in here…she had to have thrown some fuel on your fire to make you come in here the way you did…"

"You give her far too much credit, my pet," Loki mused as he continued to twirl the soft curl through his fingers. "If she hadn't been in the room when you came and left the way you did. I would have only been storming across the hall that much faster. Is she manipulative? Of course, she is. She spent half her life learning from the master.. eh heh heh heh… but I do what I want not what other people want me to do."

Natasha nodded slowly, "That much is quite certain Loki…"

She glanced at his hand as he played in her hair. At least that hadn't changed. Natasha lowered her head, "What if you never fall back in love with me? What if it's all this intense, physical thing? Do you feel like the sex is clouding our judgement?"

"I think you are thinking too much and I don't think you're listening very well, pet," Loki smirked as he enjoyed the feel of her velvety strands running through his thumb and forefinger. "Do you want to be with me? Right now as I am? Because I want to be with you, Natalia."

Natasha stared up at him, "I do…I always want to be with you. Even when I know it's not good for me. I love you, Loki. That doesn't go away…I just…I'm so afraid of being hurt by you. I'm starting to go into self preservation mode."

"I don't want to be hurt either, pet, nobody does," Loki contemplated softly. "But even so here I am and I'm asking you… please come back to my chambers… I miss you, Natalia."

Natasha stared at him for a while, "Alright…but we need to stay clear headed. We should probably work on our relationship. We're fucking like rabbits and never stop to think about our future. It's hard dealing with a 'it's my way or the highway' type of guy. I want to be happy too…"

"What is there to think about, exactly? You and I and Anya can be together as we have been before you took on a new room." Loki inquired as he gazed at her curiously.

Natasha stared into his eyes, "I want us to talk about our future…your time is unlimited. Anya's probably is to…mine isn't. I'm going to die one day, Loki. Guaranteed. There are things I want to do before that happens."

"No one's life is guaranteed not even mine," Loki replied solemnly. He didn't like the turn of this conversation at all. He was just getting to know her, death was the last thing that he wanted on his mind. "So what are these things you want to do, pet?"

"Silly things, really. I want to write a novel. I want to take Anya to a Patriots game…I want to take her to Wimbledon…I want to make a goodwill trip to Uganda and Sudan…I want to try to do more good in the world. In the place where I inflicted so much damage…I want to help people."

"Well, in another week we will be returning to Midgard. So we can take Anya to those things over the next few months. Look how easy that was," Loki replied with a little boy grin. "Once we've returned to Asgard then you can always visit the realm if you desire to do more good… help or whatever for the people there. It all seems fairly simple, pet."

"That's not everything…just a small taste. Naming it all off would be too mundane. My entire life, I've been an elite assassin. I've missed out on a lot of experiences I want to have. I wanted to be able to share them with my child or children and the man that I love."

"I already told you that I'm looking forward to making many new memories with the two of you." Loki smiled as he placed a gentle kiss along her lips. "So everything is back to the way it was? Why don't you bring your things back to my chamber and I'll get Anya."


	19. Chapter 19

A few minutes later, Natasha was hanging her dresses up in the wardrobe in Loki's chamber. Dresses. Every day. Hadn't these people ever heard of jeans? Even that leather catsuit that was always a pain to get in and out of was sorely missed by now…but this was her life now apparently. Dresses. Etiquette. Propriety. Banquets. No guns. No football. No trashy reality television. No Chinese food at midnight. No old school rap if the mood hit her.

It was all fairly overwhelming…especially if she was doing it for a man who wasn't in love with her and was still friends with her mortal…or immortal enemy. Her position was precarious at best.

She shouldn't be back in this room. They had too much to work out. He'd dismissed her concerns because her problem didn't seem complex enough to him.

Loki walked into the bedroom with a Cheshire grin as he watched her putting away her things. He had been so miserable without her and she had just been across the hall. "Anya didn't even make a stir when I moved her to her room. She is still out like a light." He walked up behind her and placed his arms around her waist as he brushed a soft kiss against her cheek. "You have no idea how much I've missed you, pet."

"I missed you too" she answered truthfully. Natasha had missed him. She loved him…in spite of everything; she clung to the love she shared with Loki for dear life. She hoped it wouldn't be her undoing.

"I missed watching you sleep," Loki whispered against her neck as he began placing a series of soft kisses along her throat. "I love it when you're lying there and suddenly you get the sweetest little smile along your lips." He grinned against her skin as his movements became more sensual.

Natasha smiled slightly and closed her eyes as his lips became more insistent against her throat. God…she could barely think when he did this.

"I must have been dreaming of…of you…" she whispered through breath marred by soft gasps of pleasure.

"I like to think so," Loki breathed huskily as he suckled the soft spot behind her ear. "That you might be dreaming of me… that I make you that happy." He turned her body toward him as he claimed her lips in a passionate kiss.

Natasha returned the kiss with equal fervor, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pressed herself against him.

As he rid them of their clothes, Natasha couldn't help but think.

Happy. He wanted to make her happy.

Was she happy? Could they tell the difference between intense physical pleasure and genuine happiness? Could she tell the difference between obsession and love?

Loki moved his lips along her skin. He had missed her so much. He wanted to devour every inch of her body. "I never want to be away from you again, Natalia. Nothing feels right when you're not with me." He whispered huskily as he moved his attentions to her achingly swollen breasts.

As usual, she lost all ability to form appropriate, coherent thought when he was touching her like this. His reverent, fervent kisses…his intoxicating words…they all drove her insane. Natasha did remember that his words all stemmed from lust…not love, but luckily for them, that ceased to matter when she fell back onto the bed and felt him climb atop her.

It wasn't long before they were both shuddering in completion. Loki smiled as he held her closely, his fingers running along the strawberry curls cascading along her slender back. He never wanted to be without her. She was the only woman that he ever cared for this way. "You mean the world to me, Natalia… there's nowhere I would rather be than here with you, pet."

Natasha panted softly as she lay on her stomach beside him, feeling his fingers lazily play through her thick hair. She heard Anya start to fuss from her room and smiled slightly.

"I'll go get her" she said as she stood up and put on a robe before moving to pluck Anya out of her crib.

Days passed, and Natasha remained quiet, but pleasant and polite. She and Loki continued to have amazing sex, but she was still conflicted and feeling fairly alone.

Loki sat on the veranda as he bounced Anya on his knee, making sounds like a horse as the little girl giggled in delight. "Just wait till I get you a pony, shorty… eh heh heh heh… you are going to have so much fun." He glanced at Natasha who was sitting at the table quietly. "Do you know how to ride, pet?"

Natasha glanced up from the book in her hands and nodded with a small smile, "I do. I was trained in equestrian sporting…would you like to go for a ride sometime?"

"What is bothering you?" Loki inquired as he continued to bounce his daughter playfully. "You haven't had a genuine smile since you came back. I've been waiting for you to tell me what is wrong. Quite frankly, I'm tired of waiting, pet."

Natasha laughed softly, "I'm not sure whether I should be insulted that you don't think my smile is genuine…or flattered that you've been spending your free time scrutinizing my features."

What was she going to tell him? She's confused? That she's not sure if this "new" Loki will ever fall in love with her or look at her the way the man who was her husband had?

Natasha was starting to give up hope, but she still cared about him…she wanted Anya to have both of her parents, so this would be their arrangement…even if Loki never loved her or wanted to be her husband…even if he decided to seek comfort in another woman's bed…despite his reassurances of the contrary.

When she moved out of his chambers, she'd taken off his wedding ring and hadn't bothered to put it back on.

"You can tell me what is bothering you, pet." Loki insisted as he turned his dark green gazed toward her. "I have no desire for you to pretend with me. I may not have a long memory of you to compare to but I think I've come to know you well enough, pet, to know when a smile really reaches your eyes."

Natasha leaned back and stretched slightly as she closed her book and laid it on her lap. She'd have to put her Black Widow cap on for this. There was no way she wanted to start a right with him over her concerns. According to him, she had no reason to worry. No reason to be concerned. No reason to be anxious about adjusting to and raising her daughter in a world that was completely foreign to her…a place where she had no friends or family to speak of.

Loki was a god…who obviously has issues with empathy.

"I'm just thinking about adjusting to living here permanently. I won't have a lot to do once Anya reaches a certain age and I'm a foreigner here, so I have to figure out a way to spend my time…"

"You are telling me that you've spent the past few days thinking about when Anya is grown up and how you will spend your time? Eh heh heh heh, if that is even true, pet, you realize that you're letting the present fly right by you while you obsess over the future," Loki admonished as he lifted his daughter in the air and rubbed his nose against her belly playfully as she giggled. "I want very much for my two girls to be happy," the young god mused as he settled his daughter back in his lap. "And you just don't seem like it, pet, and I'm not sure what I can do about it."

"Loki, I'm fine…" she said as she reached over to playfully grab at Anya's foot. Natasha smiled at the baby girl and sighed, "I'm having to make some huge life changes that I had never really planned on and I guess I just need time to adjust. I'm a planner. I have to have contingency plans in place. I move to Asgard and…I have no friends, no job…not even my own apartment that I'm responsible for. I'm moving here and I'm suddenly completely dependent on you. I'm a very independent person Loki. I was a world-renowned spy. Now I'm going to a place where I don't actually have a purpose."

"You have the same purpose that you did when we were in Midgard a few weeks ago," Loki pondered thoughtfully. "You weren't doing any spy work before we took our little ride on the BiFrost. It was just the three of us and those servants. What was the plan you had in place before my accident?"

"I think you're missing my point…my point is that, on Midgard, if anything happened, I knew that I could always go back to SHIELD and pick up where I left off. I would have a job there. I had friends and a support system there. I don't have that here."

"And by if anything happened, you mean if we weren't together? You can always go back to Midgard if you wanted and here you have my mother and Thor and I think you have even won over my father which is quite surprising for him," Loki replied with a half-smile. "But maybe instead of worrying about life without me maybe you can enjoy life with me? Natalia, I've come to know you quite well and I know you're not happy. I can feel the difference. I'm not a mind reader you need to help me."

Natasha flicked a red curl out of her eyes and sighed, "Loki, I know this move is simple to you because you live here and your life is here, but that's not the case for me. Your mother. Your brother. Your father. They are not my support system. They're your support system…I know you can't understand or empathize with me. That's why I don't say anything. I'm going through huge changes. It makes me nervous. I'm changing worlds. It's not as simple or easy as you're trying to make it seem. Ok? This is why I can't talk to you about it because you seem to discount how major this change is for me and it frustrates me."

"I realize it is a change for you, pet, and I understand about nervous. I'm very nervous about tomorrow and being back in Midgard. I'll be without my family but I'll have you and Anya and I take comfort in that. I think that will be enough for me," Loki divulged as he gazed up at her affectionately. "And when we come back, you will have me and Anya."

Natasha nodded, "I do take comfort in that…"

Somewhat.

That night, Natasha returned to their chambers after laying Anya down. She rolled her shoulders and began to remove the heavy layers of dress.

"I was thinking," Loki mused as he strutted toward her and began helping her remove the gown that she wore. "When we do come back, we need to get you some more casual wear. Not that I'm complaining about my mother's choices in dresses, eh heh heh heh, but she thinks every day is a grand ball."

He chuckled as he let the garment pool at her feet, leaving her in nothing but her lace underwear. He licked his lips expectantly as he glided his fingers along bare shoulders, placing a soft kiss against the nape of her neck. "Some slacks with blouses and tunics are very fashionable as well and on you would be just as sexy, pet."

He was extremely nervous about returning to Midgard and beginning his work with this SHIELD organization but he was trying very hard to push it from his mind.

Natasha nodded, "I do take comfort in that…"

Somewhat.

That night, Natasha returned to their chambers after laying Anya down. She rolled her shoulders and began to remove the heavy layers of dress.

"I was thinking," Loki mused as he strutted toward her and began helping her remove the gown that she wore. "When we do come back, we need to get you some more casual wear. Not that I'm complaining about my mother's choices in dresses, eh heh heh heh, but she thinks every day is a grand ball."

He chuckled as he let the garment pool at her feet, leaving her in nothing but her lace underwear. He licked his lips expectantly as he glided his fingers along bare shoulders, placing a soft kiss against the nape of her neck. "Some slacks with blouses and tunics are very fashionable as well and on you would be just as sexy, pet."

He was extremely nervous about returning to Midgard and beginning his work with this SHIELD organization but he was trying very hard to push it from his mind.

Natasha nodded and smiled in relief, "I think that's a novel idea, darling."

She smiled slightly at the feel of his lips on the sensitive flesh of her neck. Natasha laughed softly, "I'm so sorry, my love…I just started my um…my monthly…you know…"

"Eh heh heh heh, that's alright, pet," Loki chuckled as he turned her in his arms and wrapped her up in a warm embrace. "You don't mind if I hold you do you? It's funny… it's getting harder and harder to imagine life before you, darling."

Natasha smiled, "Of course I don't mind if you hold me…I love having your arms around me."

Moments later, as they lay in bed, she yawned softly as she blinked slowly, her eyelids growing heavier and heavier.

Soon, she fell into a troubled sleep. She began having a nightmare. They were fighting. Lorelei was there…of course. Instigating everything. Natasha whimpered softly in her sleep before softly crying his name, "Loki…Loki…you're…gonna leave me…please don't…don't…don't go…don't listen to her….no…no…you…why don't you love me…."

She began to toss and turn as she continued murmuring and whimpering in her sleep.

Loki was finding it impossible to sleep. Thoughts of this deal that he had with SHIELD filling his mind. He hated the idea of having to take orders from some strange Midgardians. He had been sitting in his daughter's room watching her sleep as he tried to calm his nerves before finally deciding to return to bed. As he moved toward the mattress he could hear Natasha calling for him in her sleep.

He moved toward her swiftly, sitting down at her side as he lifted her into his arms. "Sshhhh, Natalia. It's alright, darling…. I'm here… I'm here… It just's a dream. It's not real, my pet. I'm here, Natalia, I will never leave you."

Natasha's eyes popped open as she looked up at him. She panted softly before laying her head against his chest, closing her eyes as she slowly whispered, "I'm sorry…I…I'm afraid…I'm scared you'll leave me. I had a dream… Lorelei will get into your head…she'll turn you against me…you'll take Anya away from me and I'll be alone. You can't love me…you don't look at me the same way anymore. It's all different now…"

"I told you, Natalia, the only person that can take me away from you is you," Loki whispered softy as he rested his chin against the top of her head, tangling his fingers in her soft lush curls as he held her closely. "I would never leave you, darling. The way I feel for you… I've never felt for another woman. You're all I want. You and Anya. You mean the world to me, pet."

Natasha closed her eyes and let out a breath as she leaned against him, her mind still troubled by the uncertainty that lay ahead of them.

The next day, she found herself putting her own fears on the back burner in an effort to comfort Loki upon their return to the mansion in Midgard. Natasha handed Anya off to the nanny before quickly changing into shorts and a tee shirt, relieved to be freed of the fussy layers of clothing she wore in Asgard.

Upon their return to the Mansion in Midgard, Loki found himself wondering around the home aimlessly, trying to get use to the fact that he was going to be living here for the next two months. On his way out of the library, his dark green eyes took in the sight of the Nanny who was sitting on the couch beside his daughters play pen as she did some sort of needle point in her lap.

"Go off and enjoy the remainder of your day," Loki remarked coolly as he knelt beside his daughter. "Your services won't be required until the morning." She nodded as she picked up her things and made her way to her own quarters.

"Your uncle Thor will be here in the morning, shorty," he remarked as he gazed down at her playing with her toys. "And then I will get to meet these SHIELD people. I'm not really looking forward to it…. eh heh heh heh… can you tell." She held out her green teddy bear to him as she babbled softly. "Yes, it's a very cute bear but not as cute as you." He reached out and ran his fingers through her soft curls. "I'm sorry I didn't realize it right away, Anya, but your daddy loves you very much."

Natasha stopped just outside of the doorway that led to the living room where Loki sat with their daughter. She smiled as he told Anya he loved her, then slowly backed away and returned to the kitchen.

She would spend plenty of time here during their temporary return to earth since she never had the chance to cook in Asgard. All of the equipment and ingredients felt so foreign to her in the grand realm…and servants almost seemed downright confused as to why she was there.

An hour later, she called Loki into to kitchen for lunch.

Loki picked up Anya as he moved into the kitchen, placing her in her highchair before he sat down at the table. "You look very comfortable in your new attire, pet. I know how tired of those fancy dresses you were getting." He mused as he leaned back in his chair.

Natasha smiled as she set his plate in front of him, and then brought some fresh mashed veggies for Anya, "I feel lighter than air now. I guess I'm not used to being in those fussy clothes."

She sat down next to Anya and began feeding her, "I'm coming into SHIELD with you tomorrow. I know it'll be tough your first day."

"Thank you, pet, I like the idea of that very much," Loki replied sincerely. He was unsure of what to expect of this place. "Did I hate it as much as I imagine I would?"

Natasha smiled, "You didn't hate it all that much when Barton wasn't around. I think you liked the adrenaline rush of fighting again and using your magic for combat. We fought together once…that was hot."

"Thor told me that he works in the West Coast. He assured me that I wouldn't have to see him during my time here," Loki divulged. He was very glad when Thor had told him that part of his deal with SHIELD was that this Clint was kept away from him. He had no desire to ever see that man again. "But what about the other people that I worked with. Did I get along with them? Thor didn't really say much."

Natasha shrugged slightly, "You all tolerated each other. They all had very distinct personalities. Some of which you didn't really mesh well with."

She spent a bulk of the remainder of the day briefing him on his individual teammates. The next day, they left their daughter with the nanny and went to SHIELD headquarters. He had not been seen there since before his accident, so his reception was actually rather warm and respectful. Everyone knew how difficult it had been for Natasha when he was in his coma.

"This is Coulson," Thor instructed in his deep rumble as he laid a reassuring touch along his brother's shoulder. "He will normally be the one to contact you when your assistance is required and debrief you on exactly what is needed."

"Welcome back," Phil offered as he extended his hand toward Loki. He looked at it for a moment before he reached out and gave it a quick shake. "How is your knowledge on Alien species? We had some findings that it would be a great help if you could interpret."

"I have an extensive mastery of the nine realms and their languages," the young god stated simply as he followed the agent down a corridor towards what he assumed was his office. He found the assignment simple enough but nothing about his surroundings seemed the least bit familiar to him. It was weird to have people look at you with familiarity when to your knowledge you had never seen them before in your life.

After the assignment was finished and he was shown around the rest of the expansive headquarters, they returned to the mansion. Loki walked into the living room staring at the cellphone in his hand that Coulson had given him. Apparently his original one had been crushed during the explosion. He had never heard the details of his accident before. Evidently he had been found compressed beneath a pile of metal and other rubble. He guessed his memory had been smashed much like his phone. He was more certain than ever that he would never remember.

"So I guess now it's just waiting for this thing to ring," he quipped as he finally looked up from the device in his hands and gazed at Natasha.

Natasha nodded as she plucked her daughter from the nanny's arms and looked at Loki, "Yeah…it's kind of like being on call like a doctor or something. It's odd, but I've gotten used to it."

Days passed, and every now and then, Loki got called in for assignments at SHIELD. Outside of his work, Natasha started working on her book and would frequently take Anya into town for shopping trips and to the park to play on the playground.

Time on Midgard was winding down. Natasha was happy for Loki, but extremely worried for herself. She was nervous about changing her lifestyle and never seeing her friends again.

She decided she should be able to spend time with her friends before she left…all of them.

"Loki…can I talk to you?" she asked, sitting down on the bed beside him as he read. "I know you've been working really hard…and I'm realizing that my time here is limited. I was wondering if I could have the chance to see my friends before I left…Clint too…"

"Well to be quite frank with you," Loki replied as he set down his book on the nightstand. "After listening to you tell me all the things that you were going to let him to do you. I'm not really comfortable with that idea at all, pet."

Natasha tensed slightly and sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, "I sometimes wish I had never mentioned him to you."

After a few moments of silence, "I'm not going to let him do anything to me. You know I would never cheat on you, Loki. He is my oldest friend and I'm giving up my entire life here for you. This is the least you can do for me."

"I don't like the idea of you near him… you are the one that put the images in my head," Loki remarked, his dark green eyes narrowed as he recalled how she had went on and on relentlessly about being with him and having his child. "Besides, he is in the West Coast, wherever that is and Anya needs you here… you know for nursing and everything. Are you going to fly off somewhere and leave her?"

"No. Of course not. I was…hoping he could come here. All I'd have to do is ask Coulson…" she muttered, biting her bottom lip. Natasha straightened, "I know I put those images in your head…it was because I was desperately trying to reawaken those feelings you used to have for me. I would never allow Clint to touch me in that way, Loki. I at least deserve the chance to say goodbye."

"Didn't you already do that when he stood on the porch of this mansion and made his speech about taking you away and making all your dreams come true?" Loki remarked dryly. "I don't want him here and since his new placement involves my arrangement with Shield then I'm guessing that they would need me to okay it and I definitely won't."

Natasha stared at him incredulously, "I can't freaking believe it. I'm uprooting my whole life for you and you won't even let me sit down to have a cup of coffee with my oldest friend? A man who's saved my life?! And you think it's ok to still be in regular contact with Lorelei, a woman who I've actually HEARD you have sex with in this very fucking room! You are nothing but a hypocrite!"

"Firstly, I could care less what I did prior to the moment that I woke up a few months ago. Secondly, refresh my memory, pet. I don't recall going on and on to you about going out and sleeping with any woman let alone Lorelei since we have been together. Giving you graphic details of exactly how I would do it. I also don't remember ever once leaving you, alluding to leaving you or telling you to leave me. All of these things you, my darling, have done to me." Loki snapped angrily as he stood from the bed. "I have told you that you are the only woman that I want over and over, that you mean the world to me and that I never want to be without you. And that my pet is the difference."

"So just because you don't remember it means it didn't happen and it doesn't matter? Newsflash Loki, it DID happen and it still matters to me! You're forcing me to center my life and how we live only off of things YOU remember or things YOU believe and things YOU want. What about me, Loki? It's like you want me to be happy…but only as long as it doesn't, in any way, infringe upon your wants or happiness. Am I just your play thing that you placate with sex? You don't care if I have any friends of my own or interests…you just want me to be there to make YOU happy!"

"You come and go in this house as you please; this is not a prison, see whoever you want except him. I don't want you near him and that, my pet, is your fault. You already saw him and with my blessing at the time but not again." Loki snipped. "When I slept with Lorelei we weren't together, were we? No, we weren't. So I don't see what I did wrong there. We were no longer together. You didn't want me anymore. And why weren't we together, pet? Because apparently I took exception to that man coming into my house and insulting me to my face and when I hit him you rushed to his side. You picked him over me, at least in my eyes, and we argued and ended our liaison. Is any of what I've been told untrue? You're bringing up issues that I don't remember and ones that you and I had obviously worked out since according to you, we were so happy before my accident. So I take exception to you throwing them in my face now."

Natasha narrowed her eyes and stomped over to the bed, snatching the blankets back before laying down and pulled the blankets back over her body. She was pissed at him. She wasn't allowed to "throw things in his face" if he didn't remember them. She wasn't throwing anything in his face. This was just how she was reacting based off their history together.

There was no way he could see her point of view…ever.

Loki brushed his fingers through his hair in frustration as he watched her curl up in the bed. He took a calming breath as he moved forward and sat on the mattress at her side. "I do care about your happiness, pet. This house is not a prison and neither is Asgard. Anytime that you wish to go to Midgard than Heimdall will be at your service and Anya and I will anxiously await your return. Perhaps, the three of us can even take trips here. You know, to the places that you talked about."

Natasha closed her eyes and nodded, "Alright…"

But the truth was, she would never be able to make the decision to move back if she grew tired of the grand realm of the gods. Natasha Romanoff didn't fit in there…but Loki would never want to move back permanently, and he wouldn't let her take her daughter with her…so technically, she was being held hostage there. He still wouldn't let her see Clint again…ever. She felt like she'd left things on very bad terms with him and felt that she owed it to him to at least set the record straight and tell him goodbye. She missed him as a friend…

That night, Natasha was "too tense". The following night, she wasn't in the mood. The night after that, she fell asleep before he even got into bed.

It was the longest they'd gone without having sex when she wasn't on her period. She literally had no interest.


	20. Chapter 20

It was their final night in Midgard and Loki was a bundle of excitement as he sat on the bed with his daughter who was now 8 months old. Natasha stared into her closet and dresser deciding on what clothes she wanted to pack. The young god was using his magic to make a wispy image of a butterfly fly around her as she clapped her hands to try and catch it. She giggled as she babbled in delight.

"Eh heh heh heh, I love your laugh, shorty," Loki grinned as he added two more fluttering butterflies to the mix. "One of the sweetest sounds I know. Don't you think so, darling?" His dark green eyes glancing at Natasha. He knew she was still annoyed with him about not agreeing to let Barton come to New York. But he couldn't help it. The thought of her with him seemed to be burned in his brain and he didn't like it. He was afraid that she would change her mind and choose that blonde man after all.

"Da Da Da… Dada…" Anya smiled as she tugged at his shirt. "Dada."

Loki gazed at her in utter delight. He couldn't believe his ears. "She… she's talking to me… Natalia… did you hear that? You want me to make more, princess, you want Daddy to make more butterflies?"

Natasha gasped as she rushed toward her daughter, "Listen to you! You're so smart! She's brilliant!"

She laughed a bit and kissed the infant's nose, "I heard her doing a lot of babbling…I had no idea she was about to start talking…"

Later, after putting Anya to bed, Natasha was still in the closet, trying to decide how many jeans and sweats she should bring to the realm of corsets and gowns. She glanced up and favored Loki with a sweet smile as she shoved another pair of sweats into her large suitcase, "Almost done."

"I have a little surprise for you when we get to Asgard," Loki smiled as he watched her pack her suitcase. "I don't think I'm going to sleep a wink tonight, pet. I still can't believe that Anya said a word… a real word… she is so amazing just like her mother."

Natasha smiled a little and looked around before the smile fell from her face. She settled down on the closet floor and sighed. She knew he was likely wondering what was going through her mind, so she looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders, "I know you don't remember, and it doesn't matter to you…but our story started in this house…our history is in this house. Every moment that defined us…good and bad…took place right here, under this roof. The first time we had sex. The first time we made love…the first time I taught you how to make pancakes…the first time we laughed together and cried together…the first time we said our 'I love yous'…we conceived our child right there in that bed…we became a family here. I thought we'd stay here…"

"We can come back to it whenever we want, pet," Loki soothed as he sat down on the floor next to her. "I'm keeping the servants in employ to take care of everything while it is empty. I assumed that you would want to visit."

Natasha nodded as she slowly zipped up the suitcase. It wouldn't be the same…visiting wouldn't be the same as actually living there and raising their daughter there. But Natasha knew he couldn't understand that, so she forced a brave smile to her face and patted his hand as she stood and moved into the bedroom, "I'm going to head to bed. Big day tomorrow…"

"Yes, I know," Loki mused as he watched her move to the bed. He followed after her. "I'm pretty sure that I will not sleep at all but if you don't mind. I'd very much enjoy holding you while you slept, pet." He climbed into bed next to her as he wrapped his arm around her snuggly and gave a chaste kiss along her soft red curls. "Sweet dreams, darling."

Natasha closed her eyes as she settled into the bed, "You too…goodnight…" The next morning, the family of three awoke early. While the nanny got Anya cleaned up and dressed, Natasha showered and got herself ready before dragging her suitcase down the stairs.

After taking one last look around the house, Natasha walked out of the house. Soon, they were claimed by the light of the BiFrost and found themselves back in Asgard on the bridge.

Soon they were inside the Royal Palace as they moved through the corridors to his chambers. Loki placed her suitcase down in the bedroom before moving to take his daughter from her arms. "It is time for my surprise." the young god smiled as he walked toward the door to his private library. "I hope you'll like it, pet. I wanted to do something that would maybe make you feel more at home. I know this is a big change for you." He opened the door slowly to reveal a kitchen and dining area where his myriad of bookcases had once been. "I know how much you love to cook and my mother's chef is very… shall we say… predatory about her space. Eh heh heh heh. Maybe you can reteach me how to make pancakes, darling?"

Natasha gasped as she quickly moved into the room, looking around with wide eyes, "Oh my god…Loki…what happened to your library? This is…this is amazing. Thank you…I…I don't know what to say…"

"Do you like it, pet?" Loki inquired hopefully as he held his daughter snuggly in his arms. "The books were all dispersed to the royal library. I know you love to cook and you are very good at it, too. I just… I want you to feel at home. I want you to be happy."

Natasha looked around and smiled before turning to him and nodding, "I love it. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it…"

She kissed him softly before wrapping her arm around him to hug the side that wasn't holding their daughter.

After settling back into their chambers and putting Anya down for her nap, Natasha returned to her new kitchen and began looking through the drawers and cabinets, exploring the space.

"I can conjure you ingredients… you know… that Asgard doesn't have here whenever you need," Loki advised as he sat down in a chair and gazed at her thoughtfully. "I'm at your service, pet."

Natasha smiled, "I could use some cream cheese, eggs, sugar, vanilla, graham cracker crust, pureed pumpkin, sour cream, cinnamon and brown sugar…I'm going to make a pumpkin cheesecake. You're going to love it."

Once all of the ingredients were conjured, she began moving about the kitchen, mixing them together and pouring them into the pan before placing it in the oven. When she was done, she wiped her hands and smiled back at him. "This is a great kitchen…thank you. I really appreciate it…"

She noticed the way he looked at her and cocked her head to the side, "Is something on your mind?"

"I'm just wondering if you're still upset with me," Loki remarked thoughtfully. "You've been very distant the past couple of days. And I don't want to do anything that… well that you wouldn't welcome."

Natasha stilled her movements as she set a dish cloth on the counter, "Oh…I think I…I know what you're talking about."

She paused and sat down at the table across from him, "I'm not trying to purposely punish you. I know it seems that way, but I'm not. I was having a hard time dealing with this transition and knowing it was right about the corner. I was having problems and am still none too pleased that you've practically forbidden communication with Clint…my mind has been so preoccupied, I think it's just difficult for my body to really connect with it. You know I've said all I could ever say to you about Clint and us living here…and you not being in love with me and my marriage being practically dissolved before my very eyes…it's just tough. I'm trying to deal…"

"I hoped that we could have a life together. You're just so focused on the past and you seem to be closing your eyes to the present. You keep telling me what I don't feel and I keep trying so hard to show you… I've told you in every way that I can how much I need you." Loki stood up from the chair with a slight smile. "I don't know what else to do. But to be honest I have no intention of living the life of a monk. I'm going to check on our daughter. I'm glad you like the kitchen, darling."

"Loki…" she said quickly before he reached the door. Natasha hadn't really thought through what she was going to say, so she ended up stuttering at first.

"I…what..what do you mean? I…I'm not trying to focus on anything. This past you speak of is just a few months old for me. Just because you don't remember it doesn't make it any less important or meaningful to me. When someone suffers a loss…or I should say…when humans suffer a loss or an unpleasant, sudden change in their lives, it takes time for us to re adapt and grieve over that loss. The man I loved and who loved me doesn't love me anymore. I was married…but I'm not anymore. Caring is wonderful, Loki. Knowing that you need me is great…but it's simply not the same as love. I still almost accidentally refer to you as my husband. At night, I have to stop myself from telling you I love you. I stopped wearing that wedding ring around my neck weeks ago…did you even notice? I'm sorry that I just can't get over it…"

"I did notice and I'm sorry for your grief for I suppose… the man that I used to be to you but I'm not actually dead, pet, and sometimes I feel as strange as it sounds like I'm sort of a substitute for myself with you. Eh heh." Loki divulged solemnly. "And it's almost like I come in second place to myself… eh heh heh heh, you know… like I can't compete with your memory of me. You're always telling me what I supposedly don't feel, darling, and all the things that I don't remember. You discount all the things I do say to you, about how much you mean to me and the life that I want to share with the two of you. You're so hung up on a word. And I guess I am, too. But maybe… maybe if I didn't feel like you wished I was someone else then it wouldn't be so hard for me to express myself in a different way."

Natasha chewed on her bottom lip and nodded, "I'm sorry that you feel that way…I accept full responsibility for making you feel that way. I apologize. I do. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to fix this…cause the truth is, you're right. I fell in love with the Loki that isn't you…and maybe I don't even actually love you yet. Maybe I just can't draw the line between the Loki I lost and the Loki who stands before me right now. I'm caught up on the past…and desperate to have the man I love back…I'm sorry. It's my fault. I guess I need to say goodbye to the man I knew and learn to love the Loki who is lovable and special in his own way…"

That night, when she thought Loki was asleep, she got up and slipped on her robe before silently padding through the dimly lit hallways. She moved out to Frigga's garden and picked a red rose before sitting on a bench. She sighed and let her head lean backwards as she cleared her throat, "Hm. Ok. This is weird. You're not dead. You're actually asleep in our chambers. It's so weird…" She paused and bit her lip, "I lost you, Loki. I lost the Loki who knows me in and out…the Loki who knew what it felt like to lose everything and become completely unmade before being remade again. I lost the Loki who loved me. And it hurts. The Loki I knew is gone…and I wasn't ready for you to leave me. I'll never get over it. I miss you, Loki…I miss my husband. I feel like a widow who never got the chance to bury her dead spouse…I need closure…so…" She stood up and walked to a small clearing within the garden before kneeling and setting down the rose. She pulled out the chain that held his wedding ring and lay it in the dirt on top of the rose, "This is my goodbye to you, my husband. I thank you so much for our short…sometimes volatile…passionate, achingly beautiful love story. Thank you for Anya…thank you for making me your wife. I will love you…and miss you forever…"

A tear slid down her cheek before she slowly got to her feet and turned around to see Loki's emerald gaze boring into her own.

"Loki…how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to know that even though I'm standing right in front of you that you're going to miss me forever," Loki remarked solemnly. "And I'm really sorry that you feel that way, Natalia. but I'm glad that I know that now. I'm sorry I disturbed you, pet."

"Loki…wait. I think you're misunderstanding what you saw…I spent all this time, trying to make you love me because of a past you don't remember. I keep holding onto the memory of a Loki that no longer exists. You didn't try to destroy the Jotunheim or get tortured by Thanos and attempt to take over New York. You didn't take me as a slave, subsequently mistreat me, fall in love with me, then agree to give me a child and marry me…you…the man who is standing right in front of me did none of that. You lived through none of that. That wasn't you. Isn't that the point you've been trying to make? You keep telling me you won't be held accountable for decisions or actions that you don't remember, and what I just did was me finally accepting that…I get it now. You…physically are Loki…but you don't remember the life we shared. You don't remember the first time we made love or our first fight or my pregnancy…our wedding or Anya's birth…I accept that now. I finally understand why you don't love me. I understand why you are not my husband…I am letting go of that."

"No, actually, darling, you don't get what I was trying to tell you at all." Loki entreated sadly. He could feel the slight sting of tears beginning to fill his eyes. "I don't remember those things that's true but I've been telling you all this time that I feel it. There aren't two Loki's… there's just me. Just the one. And I can say with absolute certainty that there is nothing that I felt in my heart all those months ago that isn't there now. But you'll never see me that way. There's nothing I will ever be able to do to make you see me like that. I can't make the memories come back. And I can't live like that either."

"I don't understand…the reason why you don't want to acknowledge our marriage…or say you love me is because you don't remember…you told me that you won't be held accountable for what you did when you…I'm trying to let go of the past, Loki. I'm trying to look forward. You told me I was too caught up on the past, so I'm trying to let it go…wasn't that what you wanted?"

"I told you my heart and my head were conflicted and it was confusing. My brain stopped at a certain point in time and my heart didn't," Loki divulged as he brushed his fingers through his hair. "I wanted you to be with me. I wanted you to not worry about the things that I couldn't remember. Just cause I can't remember the first time that we kissed, doesn't mean I don't feel the same way that I did then every time my lips touch yours. I'd swear by the All-Father that I bet I feel the same."

Natasha stared at him for a while, "I didn't know that…I thought…I thought you felt that you just hadn't formed enough of an attachment to love me…I thought you felt like you didn't know me enough to want me like that." She lowered her head, "Before…when I asked you to marry me…you made me feel like you were honored to have me…I just…I want to feel like that again…"

"I never said that, I said I didn't remember you and I don't. I don't remember before the hospital. Its the first memory I have of you. But I told you, Natalia, how desperate I was to be with you, memory or not, from that very first night that we made love and how much I cared about you. I was confused and scared because I felt so strongly and my mind wasn't use to it. I had no reference for it." Loki divulged, his emerald eyes glazed with emotion. "I tried to guard myself around the two of you… I didn't want to get hurt… and it was all so confusing. The last memory that I have, I didn't want to get close to anyone, marriage, children. I had no interest in any of it. I never quite felt like I belonged in my own family so I never wanted to give anyone else the chance to hurt me. That's what was in my head. My heart felt like… here's where I belong… with these two people. You told me that before when I couldn't say it that I showed you and the Fates know that I've been trying so hard to show you, Natalia. But no matter what I did you never felt it. In fact it started to feel like the harder I tried the more distant you got. And I started getting jealous of myself, eh heh. It sounds so stupid. But I was right. I guess. I mean… you're always going to miss me. That's what you said. I don't want to be your second choice as ridiculous as that sounds because there's only me."

Natasha cautiously moved toward him, "Loki…I know that there aren't two of you…but you have to admit, you didn't wake up my husband. You didn't wake up as the man who wanted to be married to me or to have a family with me. Our relationship isn't the same as it was because you…as you stand right here, don't remember the groundwork we laid out. But I think the fact that I'm finally realizing that can help us move forward. Now, I won't be so hung up on trying to force you to be someone who doesn't exist anymore. When you woke up in that hospital, you woke up as an esteemed prince of Asgard. The man I knew was a fallen king…a disgraced god. You didn't remember all of the pain and trauma you went through to become the man I eventually fell for. I'm saying goodbye to the old Loki and I'm making the decision to wholly accept and learn to love Loki…prince of Asgard."

"I don't want you to learn to love me… I don't think it should be a choice you make, pet. I didn't choose to feel this way for you… I tried to fight it if anything," Loki exhaled softly. "I.. um… I should get back to Anya. I called upon a guard to watch her when I noticed you… the Fates forbid she woke up and neither of us were there."

Natasha pursed her lips and waited in the garden for several moments before her eyes fell to the wedding ring on the ground. She leaned down to pick it up before moving to their bedroom.

When she walked in, he sat upon the edge of the bed, his eyes seemingly glazed over. She stood in front of him for several moments before she straddled his lap and kissed him lovingly. She pressed the chain that contained the wedding ring into his hand, "I do need you, Loki…just as you are. Don't give up on me..on us…please."

Natasha enclosed his face in her hands before crushing her lips to his for a hungry, desperate kiss.

Loki kissed her back greedily. The desperate need for her flooding his senses as it always did when she was this close. He moved his hand along the small of her back, his other still gripping the chain that she had given him.

He broke the kiss suddenly. His dark green eyes staring into her deep blue. "But just a few moments ago you said…," he stumbled out as his logical mind tried to break through the fog of desire that consumed him.

Natasha gently stroked his face before lightly brushing her lips against his. She whispered softly as she rested her forehead against his, "I said that I want to take your advice. I'm going to stop concentrating on the past and start living for my future. You're my future. You and Anya…and maybe one day the impossible can happen and I can convince you to have another." Natasha laughed softly and stared into his eyes, "I am going to love you based on who you are here and now…you are wonderful to me. You're wonderful to Anya. I think we could both take a lesson from that little girl…she never missed a beat. She didn't care who or what you remembered. She was just happy to have her father. I am too…I'm happy that I have you, Loki."

"I want to make you happy, pet," Loki whispered, caressing her cheek before running his fingers through her soft curls as they fell over her shoulder. "There is nothing in the nine realms that is more important to me than you, Natalia. You're all I want."

Natasha smiled as she kissed his lips lovingly, "Then choose to make a life with me…Anya and I kind of fell into your lap…now, you've made the conscious decision to keep us in your life. I need you, Loki. I want to make a family with you…will you let me do that?"

Her words were whispered against his lips as she pulled her robe from her shoulders and ground herself against him.

"That's what I want… I want to be with the two of you," Loki breathed with bated breath as he felt her move against him. "That's all I want, Natalia." His mouth trailing along her shoulder as his lips moved sensually toward her throat. "We belong together… I feel that… I feel it with everything in me."

Natasha smiled as she deepened the kiss, closing her eyes as she pushed him down onto the bed. She whispered against his lips, "Make love to me…"

"Yes, Natalia… there's nothing I want more," Loki murmured softly, his hand resting along the nape of her neck as he pulled her closer, deepening their kiss. "I'll never get enough of you, pet. I want to kiss every inch of your body. I want you to know how much you mean to me… I want you to feel it." His left hand still held tightly to the chain enclosed within his palm. His dark green eyes gazing up at her as he caressed her cheek, tracing his thumb along her soft, pink lips. "My beautiful Natalia… you're mine and I want you to know I'm yours." He opened his hand slowly. "I want to wear it… I want you to put it on me."

A lone tear streaked down her face as she stared into his eyes. A soft, ready smile broke across her features as she slowly took the ring from his hand and slipped the wedding ring onto his finger. Natasha smiled before whispering, "I love you…I truly do, Loki."

As soon as the ring was secure on his finger, she wrapped her arms around him and began kissing him in earnest as she worked to rid him of his clothes.

His hands caressed her skin as they quickly rid each other of their clothes. Loki took her hardened nipple into his mouth, bringing his left hand to caress her other breast. His heartbeat thundering in his chest, his breathing harsh and uneven as he reveled in the feel of her body pressed so close to his. He thought he was going to explode if he didn't get inside of her. He couldn't wait another second as he flipped her beneath him. He felt her scrap her finger nails down his back, gasping in pleasure as he slid into her. His dark green eyes staring into hers, watching her as he began to move. His hips thrusting into hers, his chest rubbing deliciously against her glistening breasts. "Valhalla," Loki cried out in ecstasy. "You're my Valhalla."

Natasha kissed him hungrily, moaning sweet words against his lips as her hips undulated sensually against his.

"Let me feel you, Loki…I want to feel you how much you need me…show me…please…" she whispered between panted breaths.

Loki groaned audibly. He could feel her body building towards her climax as he moved within her. He shifted their bodies again, bringing her back on top. His hands settled on her hips as he lifted her higher for his possession, thrusting upward, deeper, harder as he controlled her movements. He could feel her body contracting around him as his own peak overtook him. "You're the one.. the only one for me… my beautiful Natalia, always."

When they were sated, Natasha lay on his chest, panting heavily as her body slowly floated down from its orgasmic high. She pressed a kiss to his chest and smiled down at him, "That was amazing, Loki…"

She settled down on top of him and laughed softly, "As soon as I regain the use of my limbs, I'll go get us some pumpkin cheesecake. I think you'll love it. It's had plenty of time to cool."

Loki held her tightly, brushing his lips against the top of her head, his fingers tangled into her lush curls. He had never felt more content. "I'd like that, pet. I'm sure its delicious. I'm glad you liked your surprise, darling."

As promised, the Black Widow climbed out of bed and went to her new kitchen before returning with two plates of cheesecake. She smiled as she sat beside him and handed him his, "Tell me how you like it..be honest."

Loki took the plate as he leaned back along the headboard of the bed and tried a piece. "Very good…. delicious, pet," he revealed as he took another bite. He set the finished plate along the nightstand. His emerald eyes gazing at the gold band around his finger as he began to twirl it with his thumb. He never wore jewelry yet somehow the ring didn't feel the least bit strange to him. It felt right as if it had always been there. "So tell me, my pet." the young god grinned. "What will my wife's next culinary masterpiece be?"

Natasha smiled wider than she had in a very long time before setting her plate down and wrapping herself around him, "I don't know, but my heart just about skipped a beat…you just called me your wife…"

Tears sprang from her eyes as she buried her face in his neck, "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. I love you so much…thank you…"

"Well, that's what you are, my darling. You're my wife and I'm your husband," Loki smiled softly as he brushed his lips along her forehead. "It feels right to call you that. It feels like everything is finally the way it should be, pet."

Natasha kissed him lovingly as she snuggled into his arms, perfectly happy and content, "I love to hear you say that…I could hear you say that forever and never tire of it."

"Eh heh heh heh, well then my beautiful wife," Loki chuckled softly as he relished the feel of her in his arms. "I will have to say it very often because pleasing my wife is my very favorite thing to do." The young god settled back into the pillows and fell into a deep and untroubled slumber as he held her tenderly. A peaceful yet fuzzy dream falling over him of a beach and a woman in a pale green dress with white lace walking toward him along the sand. A broad grin spreading across his lips as he slept.


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning, Natasha rose before him and brought Anya back to bed. She allowed the infant to crawl across the bed to her sleeping father before she sat back on her behind and began playfully slapping her father's face and blowing spit bubbles. Natasha laughed and rushed over to pick up her daughter, "Little princess! That was a rude way to wake your father! I expected you to be more gentle than that!"

"Eh heh heh heh, good morning to you too, shorty," Loki chuckled as he sat up and lifted her out of his wife's arms. "And to my beautiful wife, of course," he winked as he stood from the bed, bouncing his daughter playfully in his arms. "You know, my pet, the Winter Solstice begins in three days. I have a feeling my mother will be cornering you the first chance that she gets to try on dresses for all the balls that will be coming."

No sooner had the words left his mouth was there a knock on the door. "Shit! You have to hide me!" she whispered urgently. Loki didn't seem to take her seriously, so as soon as he turned his back to answer the door, the Black Widow utilized her talents and quickly disappeared. As soon as the door was open, she was nowhere to be found.

"Good morning, mother," Loki beamed as he opened the door and motioned for her to enter. Frigga gave him and Anya a quick kiss on the cheek as she walked into the room regally.

"I'm so happy to have the three of you home, my son," the Queen divulged as she gazed around the chambers. "Where is Natasha? My seamstress has made a flurry of new gowns and I was hoping to have a little time with her this afternoon.

Loki furrowed his brow as he surveyed the room in puzzlement. The doors to the kitchen and bathroom were wide open and he saw no sign of her. Where was she hiding? "To be honest, mother, I'm not quite sure where she is at the moment. Eh heh heh heh, she sort of stepped out for a moment."

"Oh dear, you are not fighting are you?" Frigga admonished. "You can be so stubborn. What did you do?"

"We aren't fighting quite the contrary," Loki protested as he shifted his daughter in his arms.

"Loki, you're wearing your ring," the Queen remarked happily as her eyes observed the gold band on his left hand. "Oh, my son, that is wonderful. I'm so happy for you both… for the three of you. I insist that we have supper this evening… yes? I've missed you all so much and I will make sure Thor attends as well. I can discuss the dresses with your wife then."

"Are you sure you don't want to wait?" Loki smirked. "I'm sure she won't be much longer."

"No, no, dear," Frigga replied as she moved toward the door. "I will see you all this evening." Loki closed the door behind her as he turned around to see where his wife popped out from. "Okay, shorty, where is your mother hiding?"

Natasha hopped down off of one of the beams high above the floor, landing gracefully in front of him as she brushed her hand through her hair. She laughed a little and crossed her arms, "I heard that little quip about making her wait. If you weren't holding Anya, I would have punched you in the arm. Oh my god…the last time she took me to try on dresses, I had to try on 25 dresses…twenty-five, Loki. I swear…I was fine with the first 24…she was the one who kept saying the color wasn't quite right…the fit wasn't right…it showed too much cleavage…it would clash with the royal guard uniforms…it was the same color as hers…please…if there is a way in these 9 realms that could keep me from dress shopping with your mother…help me."

"Eh heh heh heh, well look at you, little spider, I never thought to look above me," Loki laughed as he gazed up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry, my pet, but I don't think I can help you. One does not normally refuse the Queen and I have a feeling she is going to have the seamstress bring the dresses to her quarters this evening when we arrive for dinner. She had a very determined look in her eyes."

Natasha picked up Anya and rubbed noses with her daughter before playfully sticking her tongue out at Loki, "Fine. I'll face my fate. Brave and alone!" Maybe I should take Anya. If she starts to get too fussy, I can blame her and run away."

The queen did eventually track Natasha down and whisked her off to her quarters to try on the series of dresses she'd had brought in for her. Hours later, after darkness fell on the palace, Natasha slowly dragged her tired carcass back to her chambers, where her husband was sitting up on the bed, reading. She shuffled over to the bed and fell face first into the mattress.

"Never…never will I ever look at another dress ever again…" she murmured into the bed.

"Eh heh heh heh… that bad, huh?" Loki chuckled as he closed his book and set it on the nightstand. "I must admit I can't wait to see you in them, my darling. And, of course, helping you out of them, pet."

Natasha rolled onto her back and stretched languidly, "I think I need to convince her that I can pick out my own dress…I think I'm going to cry if I have to go through another dress fitting again…"

She yawned slightly, "Speaking of helping me out of dresses…this one is particularly uncomfortable…would you mind taking this one off of me?"

Loki brushed a loose curl behind her ear as he gazed down at her with a wry smile. With a flick of his wrist the dress was gone from her body and replaced with a silk nightgown in a deep shade of green. The offending garment resting across the chair in the corner of the room. "Is that better, darling?" the young god mused as he ran his fingers lazily along the cascading curls resting against her shoulders.

Natasha moaned in approval before pulling him down on top of her, "Mmmmhmmm…was Anya alright without me tonight? I feel bad that I didn't get to put her to bed…"

She trailed kisses across his jaw and down his neck as she wrapped her legs around him.

"She requested a few dances… eh heh heh," Loki jested as he slid his hand along her thigh. "And then fell right to sleep, pet." The feel of her lips against his skin was intoxicating as he moaned in approval at her ministrations. "By the nine's, you feel so good… so divine… I want you so badly."

Natasha smiled as she slowly slid his pants off of his hips. She pressed suckling kisses against his neck before whispering, "You ever think of having another?"

"Eh heh heh heh, are you trying to seduce a yes out of me, my pet," Loki replied with a playful grin, his head tilted back in pleasure as her lips continued to caress his skin. He grabbed the edges of her gown as he slowly began to pull it up her body. "I'm not so firmly opposed as I once might have been, pet."

Natasha laughed and shook her head as she continued pulling the gown up and off of her body before tossing it away, "No. I'm not that devious, my love…I was just curious in all honesty…we made a wonderful little person before…just wanted to hear your thoughts…"

She thrust her hips upwards and moaned as she pressed her lips against his for a sensual kiss as she reached between them to position his member at her entrance.

He glided upward, deep inside her as his lips devoured her greedily. "Oh… yes… yes… Natalia… so perfect," Loki gasped, his breath caught in his throat as she pressed down to meet his every upward thrust.

Natasha gasped as pleasure began building within her. The familiar, delicious warmth radiated through her limbs and, after several moments, they came together, their bodies convulsing in release.

She collapsed onto the bed beside him, "Every time is more amazing than the last."

"I couldn't agree more, darling," Loki smiled as he propped himself on his elbow and threaded his fingers along a strawberry curl. His dark emerald eyes sparkling with affection. "Natalia… I… I love you… so much."

Natasha couldn't help the tear that slid down her face as she smiled up into his eyes.

"I love you too Loki…oh god…I've wanted to hear you say that for so long…I love you so much. So so much" she whispered as she turned over to bury her face in his neck as she pressed kisses over his skin.

"I've wanted to say it so many times before. I just didn't want to get hurt. I'm sorry I made you wait, pet. I do love you, Natalia. I always have… and I always will," Loki entreated as he wrapped his arm around her, his lips skimming over her lush red curls as he breathed in her scent.

Natasha kissed him lovingly and struggled to wipe away the heartfelt tears that had collected in her eyes.

"That is something I will never tire of hearing, my love" she whispered against his lips before claiming his mouth in a heated kiss. They made love once more before falling asleep, only to be awoken mere hours later by a very energetic Anya.

Natasha heard the baby's babbles from the next room and moaned as she stretched on the bed, "I will literally have sex with you for eight hours straight tonight if you let me stay in bed for another two hours."

"You didn't have to bribe me to see to Anya, my darling," Loki advised with a lazy grin as he leaned over and kissed her softly. "But now that you've said it. I'm going to be holding you to it, my pet. Eh heh heh heh." He climbed from the bed and moved toward the nursery, lifting his daughter from her crib and peppering her face with kisses. "So what do you think, shorty? Would you like a little brother or sister one day?"

The next two days passed very swiftly and soon it was the evening of the first grand banquet to begin the twelve day celebration of the Winter Solstice. Loki hooked his arm around Natasha's as they were announced into the grand hall.

"Their Royal Highness's, Prince Loki Odinson and his wife, the Princess Natasha." the guard announced as they moved into the room.

Natasha finally got out of bed at nearly ten in the morning. She bathed and dressed before venturing into the grand hall. She was surprised to see the great king Odin sitting on the floor, rolling a ball and laughing heartily as Anya attempted to throw it back at him. Frigga sat upon a chair nearby while Thor stood with a plate, watching the scene as he shoved food in his face. Natasha smiled as her gaze fell to her husband, "Good morning. I'm sorry I was such a sleepy head today…"

Loki stood up, taking her hands in his as he gave her a gentle kiss. "I figured you would be wanting a little extra sleep after all the dancing at last night's ball. I know you are not use to all the Royal festivities," he smiled softly.

Natasha blushed and favored him with a mischievous smirk, "Yes. Dancing. Right…"

She kissed him again, then turned to look at Anya, "How is my precious princess?"

Odin smiled and chuckled heartily, "She is quite the active one. A very spirited child indeed. I do believe she will be a warrior princess. Look at how smart she is!"

Frigga laughed, "She is very bright."

After a morning spent with the entire family, Odin and Frigga took Anya to the stables to see which mare and stallion they would breed to produce the ideal pony for their granddaughter. Natasha and Loki took a walk in the garden alone. She pulled his arm around her waist and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, "You've been giving me these long looks all morning…what's going through that head of yours, my love?"

"I had a strange dream last night," Loki divulged in his silky accent. "I don't remember any of it just this feeling of complete despair that washed over me like I had lost something very precious to me. I don't know… I guess I haven't completely shaken it, pet."

Natasha furrowed her eyebrows, "Tell me about it, love…maybe it will make you feel better if you talk about it."

"I don't really remember… just the feeling, pet… everything was black and dark and hopeless… no images or anything that I recall," Loki revealed as he moved to sit down along a bench beneath a large apple tree. "Just this wretched feeling in the pit of my stomach that something very important had been taken from me. I felt very alone."

Natasha moved to sit on his lap and softly kissed his lips, "I'm sorry you felt that, my love…but you are not alone. I'm here…Anya's here…your whole family is here. And…Winter Solstice is in just two days. It's your favorite time of year…and we get to celebrate it as a family. The biggest thing you should be stressing about is what you're going to get me for a present." She laughed and pressed her forehead against his, "…it's what I'm stressing about. What do I get the god who already has everything?"

"Eh heh heh heh, I already told you, little spider, just wrap yourself up in a big bow… green, of course," Loki winked playfully as he ran his fingers languidly along her thigh. He knew that she was right. It was just a silly dream. He shouldn't be surprised. He finally had everything he ever wanted, of course, he would be afraid of losing them. But he wasn't going to. No one would ever take them from him. "I already have your present taken care of, my pet."

"Really?" she said with a wide smile. Natasha leaned forward and pressed a sensual kiss to his lips before trailing kisses down his neck to his ear. She nipped on ear lobe, "Would you mind giving me a hint?"

"My wife wants a hint," Loki mused as he reveled in the feel of her lips along his skin. "Alright, pet. Let's see it is something that… you're going to like, eh heh heh heh."

Natasha bit down a little harder on his ear before trailing the tip of her tongue down his neck.

"Oh come on…I need a better hint than that…" she said as she shifted in his lap and looked around before straddling him. Natasha knew that they could likely be caught at any moment, but that fact only excited her. She slipped a hand inside his pants as she pouted against his lips, "Come on…I need a better hint than that…please?"

She leaned back and favored him with a sweet pout and wide puppy dog eyes.

"By the nines," Loki gasped at the feel of her hands caressing his growing arousal."That is totally cheating, pet.. eh heh heh heh… oh…Valhalla… it contains many different colors." His grip tightening on her hips as he reclaimed her mouth in a slow, sensual kiss.

Natasha kissed him back hungrily before tightening her grip on his member. Her other hand moved to hike up her skirts. After some maneuvering, she canted her hips forward and managed to sink down on his throbbing shaft, fully impaling herself as her head dropped back in pleasure.

"Many different colors…" she gasped against his mouth as she began roughly thrusting her hips against his. Natasha knew they didn't have much time, so she was going to work fast to bring them both over the edge. She moaned before pressing a quick, sensual kiss to his lips before she once again looked around the garden to be sure they were still alone, her hips still moving eagerly against his as she straddled him.

"Mmm…something else…is it jewelry, my love?" she said with a slight smirk.

"More than that, my pet," Loki groaned low and deep as their bodies shuddered in release. "Oh.. Natalia…you're amazing," he grinned against her lips, sucking in panting breath. "I can't get enough of you."

Natasha panted softly before slowly easing herself off of his lap and quickly fixing her dress as a mischievous grin played across her lips, "I can't get enough of you either, my love…that was a risky game I just played. We could have gotten caught!"

She giggled as she looked around, relieved they'd remained undisturbed during their little liaison.

Two days later, the Winter Solstice was upon them, and they were attending the first of many balls that would be taking place throughout the festivities. Natasha wore a dark green and gold gown. The top part of her red hair was braided off of her face with gold threading while the rest of her curls cascaded down her back. The square neckline of her dress allowed for copious amounts of her creamy pale flesh to be put on display. She was actually surprised Frigga approved of it.

Natasha leaned into his ear, "Do I get my present tonight?"

Loki shook his head softly, "No… no, no presents till the night of the Wild Hunt, darling. You are just going to have to be patient." His dark green eyes roaming along her body appreciatively. "You look so delicious in that dress, my pet, a true goddess."

Natasha smiled and looked around as she plucked a champagne flute off of a passing waiter's tray, "Patience isn't really my strong suit, my love…but fine. I will simply have to wait."

She blushed at the way he looked at her, "You are going to get us in a world of trouble if you don't stop looking at me that way…"

"I can't help it, my darling," Loki smiled as he leaned closer to whisper in her ear. "I just want to devour every inch of you. I want to feel your warmth around me while I make you scream my name."

"So how are you enjoying your first Winter Solstice, Lady Natasha?" Thor interrupted as he walked up to them jovially.

Natasha had just been getting drawn into Loki's sensual voice as Thor walked over and spoke, forcing the young woman to jump slightly in surprise, "Oh! Hi, Thor…yes. I'm…enjoying it just fine. Thank you."

She fanned herself slightly as she took a gulp from her champagne glass, then shot her husband a playful look.

Loki smiled widely as he watched her take a sip of her drink, his eyes gazing lustfully at her full lips. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep his hands to himself.

"I'm very glad to hear that," Thor smiled. "I realized that I was deprived of the traditional wedding dance with my sister-in-law being that you were married in Midgard. May I remedy that this evening, Lady Natasha?"

Natasha glanced at Loki for approval before handing him her glass, then taking Thor's hand as he led her onto the dance floor.

"This is very festive…" she said with a smile.

"I'm so grateful to see that everything has turned out as it should for the two of you," Thor divulged as they moved along the dance floor.

Loki smiled as he gazed at his wife and brother. It dawned on him at his brother's words that he didn't even know the day that they had been married. He would have to find out. What if he missed their anniversary?

"You always look so regal in your princely attire, love," Lorelei mused at his side. "It is good that you are finally back where you belong permanently."

"Yes, I am glad to be back home," the young god remarked coolly as he continued to gaze out at the dance floor. "You know, my dear, when you wait all evening until my wife is not at my side to speak to me it gives a bad impression." His dark emerald eyes turning toward her intently. "And I will not have my wife upset. If you can't speak to me in her presence than you needn't speak to me at all."

"Of course, love, my apologies," the sorceress crooned softly. "I see you have embraced your Midgardian marriage once more. And how is she enjoying it on Asgard? It must be difficult for her to be so far away from everyone she knows. It's no wonder Heimdal's list of people to watch has grown so extensively since your return." The young god's eyes narrowed considerably at her words. He didn't know that she was keeping tabs on anyone in Midgard.

"How do you know who he watches for?" Loki snipped.

"I was just checking on my sister in Vanaheim and he happened to be writing up a little note for your wife. Such odd names those Midgardians have… Stark, Pepper… Barton." She revealed with a faint smile.


	22. Chapter 22

When the dance drew to a close, Thor politely escorted her back over to Loki. Lorelei had just left his side, so Natasha tensed, but kept a smile on her face. She knew it was likely that they would have to run into her living in Asgard every now and then, but he seemed to be respecting her wishes as far as keeping the goddess at arm's length.

Natasha noticed the stern look on her husband's face and furrowed her eyebrows as she moved close to him and watched Thor go back to the buffet table, "Is something wrong?"

Loki could literally feel his blood boil when the name Barton passed the sorceress' lips. His rational side realized that it wasn't a big deal. The archer was just one of several names of her old friends that she had been checking on. Of course, she would be curious about what was happening in her own realm. But the jealous, possessive side of him, that he was so unused to having, didn't seem to care much for logic. "That depends on your point of view," Loki remarked as he clenched his fist at his side. He could hardly believe the level of vexation that filled him at the thought of her worrying over that man. He took a deep breath as he tried to will the feeling away. "Did you enjoy your dance, pet?"

Natasha couldn't think of a reason why he'd be mad at her…what had Lorelei said? She nodded slowly and took his hand, leading his stiff, tensing form onto the veranda, "Alright. What point of view are we taking? You were perfectly fine before my dance with Thor and I see Lorelei near you for a few seconds and now you look as though someone challenged you to a fight. What did she say to you…or better yet, what did she say I've done now?"

"I'm fine," Loki stated coolly as he gripped his hands along the railing and gazed out into the distance. He exhaled another slight breath as he tried to rid himself of his irritation and the possessiveness that was consuming him. He would like nothing more than to return to Midgard and dispose of the blonde man permanently. It was a feeling that was very foreign to him. "We were just discussing Heimdall. Lucky for Thor, Amora is still in Vanaheim." He took another deep breath before he turned back to his wife. "Let's us go back to the party."

Natasha tugged him back to her and shook her head, "Something is wrong…I want you to talk to me, Loki. Please. I don't want any part of you to be upset. I want all of you to be happy."

"Do you worry for the people that you left back in Midgard? I mean… it makes sense that you would, pet and I did tell you that Heimdall was at your service," Loki stumbled out in his best attempt to sound calm and unperturbed even while he seethed in jealousy. He remembered how badly she wanted to see him before they left. She must care for him an awful lot. The thought of which made him feel insecure which in turn fueled his ire.

Natasha blinked rapidly, "You told me I could go back whenever I wanted. Why would I worry? I think they can handle themselves pretty well…Loki, what's going on?"

"You haven't asked Heimdall to check up on anyone for you?" Loki inquired with a raised brow. It would be very unlike Lorelei to lie about something that could so easily be proven false. "He didn't write you a note on any of your friends since we've been here?"

Natasha's eyebrows screwed up, "What? No. Is that what she told you? Loki, how does that even make sense? I spent the last year not seeing them or Clint for that matter and I never asked about them. I didn't even know his exact location. Why would I ask Heimdall to watch over them now? Especially knowing how much of a sore spot that is between us."

She had not asked anyone about her Midgardian friends since her arrival, not even Heimdall. Now it was apparent that the enchantress was trying to stir up trouble.

"It's perfectly in your right to do it if you want," the young god puzzled. "It shouldn't bother me." Even though it did immensely. Just thinking about the archer had put him in a horrible mood. One which he couldn't seem to snap out of. She may not have seen him in months but she had certainly been desperate to see him that last weeks before they left. "It's not like Lorelei to make something up when she knows all I have to do is ask Heimdall. Well placed truth is more her style when she wants to upset someone."

"Are you saying you think I'm lying to you?" she asked incredulously. "Loki…I know how sensitive the Barton issue is. Why would I ask him to look out for him? I keep trying to reassure you where my heart lies…I'm here because I made a commitment to you." Natasha began pacing back and forth, "That bitch…that pot-stirring bitch."

"I didn't say I thought you were lying to me, pet," Loki soothed as he reached out and placed his hands along her shoulders to halt her pacing. "I was just making a statement. It was a foolish move on her part and not very like her, that's all. I don't' know what she hoped to gain when she knows I can just ask Heimdall. Of course, I believe you. But it really shouldn't have bothered me in the first place. I don't know why I get so… I'm sorry, Natalia."

Natasha sighed and ran a hand through her hair before kissing him softly. "It's fine. But, if you'll excuse me, I have enchantress ass to kick."

She turned on her heel and stomped back toward the party.

Loki rushed forward as he caught up to her and hooked his arm through hers, steering her in the opposite direction of where Lorelei stood talking to Fandral. "You don't want to cause a scene, darling," he entreated as he led her toward the dance floor. "My mother would be very displeased."

Natasha sighed and took a few breaths in an effort to calm herself. Frigga would have a coronary if she punched Lorelei in the middle of the ball. She looked up at him, "Do you believe me now? She's desperate to cause trouble between us."

"That's not news to me, pet," Loki mused with a sideways smile as they began swaying along the dance floor. "Let's just enjoy our evening. I want to think of nothing but my beautiful wife and how much I love you, my darling."

Natasha let out a breath and rolled her shoulders as she looked up into his eyes, "Alright…ok. I'll try."

She smiled, "You could help improve my mood by giving me another hint about my present."

"Eh heh heh heh, another hint… it is small and yet very big," Loki grinned as he twirled her playfully.

"Oh come on…now you're speaking in riddles…hmmm….let me guess…you said it wasn't jewelry…I have no idea. Is it something I can wear?"

"Partly," Loki smiled as he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss along her lips. "To be precise, pet, I never said it wasn't jewelry. I said it was more than that." His dimples deepened as he stared down at her affectionately. "Perhaps I should give it to you early." He pursed his lips for a moment as if he were contemplating the idea before he grinned widely. "No.. no.. that would be wrong. Eh heh heh heh."

Natasha pouted slightly, "Oh come on…I need calming and cheering up…please? Can you give it to me in public or is it…a special sexy gift?"

"In private, darling," Loki grinned as he held her closely. "At least that is what I had in mind, pet."

Natasha raised her eyebrows provocatively as she pressed herself closer to him, "Mmmm…are you sure you want to wait to give me this sexy gift?"

"No, I don't want to wait at all, pet," Loki whispered as he left a soft kiss against the pulse point of her throat. "But then I wouldn't have anything for you on the Feast day."

Natasha shuddered softly as he pressed a kiss to her "spot" on her neck. It was the spot that drove her wild.

She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him with a sweet smile, "Fine. We'll wait."

As the party wound down, they moved past Lorelei to leave. Natasha gave her a nasty look that would have set a lesser woman on fire. The festivities continued, and Natasha began to understand why it was Loki's favorite time of year. Plenty of parties, feasting and family time set the happy and festive mood. Finally, the day of the great Feast arrived and Natasha was giddy. She couldn't wait to give Loki her gift.

It was finally the morning of the great Feast of the Wild Hunt. Loki couldn't wait to give Natasha her present. They were suppose to exchange their gifts this evening when they returned to their chambers after the days festivities but his fingers were itching to give it to her now. Anya crawled along the floor happily toward her mother as she gazed into the full length mirror, combing her hair. She was wearing a beautiful pale green gown. He always loved it when she wore green. "I have the most gorgeous wife in all of the nine realms," Loki beamed as he sat on the edge of the mattress. "I don't know how I got so lucky, pet." His dark emerald eyes gazing at his two girls happily. "Did you find your mother a present, shorty? Eh heh heh heh. You are a very resourceful little princess."

Anya pulled at the hem of her mother's dress as she held a crumpled piece of paper in her hand that she had found on her trek along the floor. When the Black Widow took it from her daughter the letters BAR caught her eye. She opened it more fully, revealing a list of names with a few sentences written next to each about their well-being. The first one being 'Barton.'

Natasha picked her daughter up and sat on the bed, placing the infant on her lap as she idly pulling on her long hair while she read the paper. She looked up at her husband with furrowed eyebrows and a confused smile, "You did this?"

"Did what, darling?" Loki inquired as he smiled down at her. His expression growing serious as his gaze fell on the words that were written along the paper. "That is a note from Heimdall. How did Anya get it? I certainly didn't ask him to make it."

"Neither did I", she said as her smile fell and she stared at the note in puzzlement. Natasha shook her head, "I didn't ask him to write this note, Loki. I swear to you, I haven't asked Heimdall to watch for anyone."

What was going on? Had Lorelei somehow conjured the note? If she did, how did she get it into their chambers? Something was wrong here. Natasha hadn't asked Heimdall about anyone.

Loki took the paper from her hand and crumpled it back in his fist. "There's no mystical residue on this… I can sense when magic has touched something and this paper is clean, pet. I'm fairly certain that if I asked Heimdall that he would tell me that you asked him for this and that he handed it to you himself." It was a very elaborate ruse that Lorelei was working but he had no doubt that it was her. "I taught Lorelei how to do illusion spells myself. She's quite good at it."

"Let's go find the bitch! I want to confront her myself! I want to do it while you're there! If she keeps lying about it, I'll beat the truth out of her!" she snapped as she marched to the door.

Just as she opened it, she almost ran right into the broad chest of Thor, who was just about to raise his fist to knock.

"Oh! Hello, Lady Natasha. Are you on your way out?" he asked.

"I'm on my way to beat the shit out of Lorelei", she snapped.

"Oh…alright…um…well, I…do you mind if I ask why?"

Natasha nodded, "Gladly…first, she plants it in your brother's head that I've been asking for updates from Heimdall about all of my old buddies from Midgard, then, Loki finds a mysterious note with the statuses of all of my old teammates…including Barton."

Thor looked embarrassed, "Oh. Oh. I never meant to cause any distress. I was merely…trying to think of a creative gift for you."

Natasha's eyes widened as her shoulders slumped, "You did this?"

"I asked Heimdall to monitor your old SHIELD teammates. All of them. Perhaps I should have left Barton off the list…I thought it would be thoughtful…"

"Yes, brother, perhaps you should have left him off the list," Loki snipped as he held his daughter in his arms and moved toward the door. He could feel his entire happy mood of the early morning hours falling to the wayside. "Well, at least one issue is gone."

Natasha closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. The fact remained, however, that Lorelei was still trying to cause trouble. She glanced back at Loki, "You know I'm still going to beat her ass though, right?"

Thor cleared his throat, "I am sorry. I was just coming to see if either of you fancied a ride but…now seems like a bad time so…"

Without another word, the thunder god was gone. Natasha sighed and looked at her husband, "I wanted to wait until a better time to give you your gifts…do we wait or…what?"

Loki glanced at the note still held tightly in his hand as he held his daughter in his other arm before tossing it in the waste paper basket a few feet away. "We should definitely wait," he advised solemnly. He couldn't get the image of her soft smile when she had read that paper out of his head. She had been glad that the archer was well, no doubt. He hated that she cared for him so much. He also felt a little guilty for thinking the worst of Lorelei so easily. His original instincts had been right. She hadn't lied to him.

Natasha sat on the bed, looking up at him, "I can see you're upset with something…was it me? I…god…it feels like whenever we get too happy, the fates swoop in to snatch it away and give us more drama. I love you so much. I'm here with you…worlds away…and there's nowhere else I'd rather be than right here with you. Why can't that just be enough?"

"You didn't do anything, pet," Loki soothed as he stood in front of her. "It's not your fault that I'm insanely jealous. That I want you all to myself and knowing that you care for another man makes me want to smash something. It just takes a name and I get so irrational and angry. And so paranoid. Lorelei didn't do anything… but that possessive feeling overtakes me and I don't think clearly anymore." The young god shrugged as he turned his attention to the little girl in his arms. "I think it's time to see your grandparents, shorty. I'm sure there is something waiting for you in the great hall."

Natasha smiled and gently kissed her daughter's nose before the family made their way to the great hall so that Frigga and Odin could give Anya her gift. She couldn't shake the feeling that something more was bothering her husband.

Just before they reached the great hall, Natasha gently took her husband's arm and kissed his cheek, "May I at least have a kiss? I know you're bothered by something…I don't want you to be a sourpuss during our gift exchange."

Loki leaned down and kissed her softly, the barest hint of a smile along his lips. "Happy Solstice, Natalia." They walked into the hall and Anya was immediately snatched up by her doting grandparents who whisked her away to see the myriad of presents along the hearth.

"It is so wonderful to have you and your family with us to celebrate, my son," Odin divulged as he came to stand at his side before pulling him into a warm embrace. "It reminds me of when you and Thor were young. I am very grateful that you are home, Loki."

"So am I, father." Loki expressed with a tender look along his features.

The entire family delighted in watching Anya play with all of her new toys. Odin announced that he and Frigga had found the ideal mare and stallion to produce the princess' pony, and the family was treated to a light lunch before Loki and Natasha returned to their chambers to put Anya down in her room.

Natasha slowly slid the door to their daughter's room closed before moving to her wardrobe and digging a box out. She sat on the bed and smiled, "Happy Solstice, my love."

She had gotten him a couple of new gifts. One of which was a brand new, gold-lined green cape with Anya's initials and birth date embroidered on the inside of the collar. The other were two framed pictures. One was a picture of Anya as a newborn. The frame had her birth date and weight engraved on it. The other was a picture of them on their wedding day…the day he didn't remember. In the picture, they were both smiling as the breeze played through their hair. They were smiling into each other's eyes as he held a hand against her large pregnant belly while she held onto her bouquet. The frame was engraved with their wedding date. She knew he likely didn't know it.

Loki stared at the two frames that he held in his hands as he walked towards their bed. He set the picture of Anya on the nightstand. "She was so tiny," he mused before gazing down at the other picture still in his hands. He sat down along the mattress as he traced his finger along her gown. Something about it seemed familiar to him, something about the dress and the flower in her hair. Although he had no memory of their wedding."Thank you, Natalia, I love everything. Such a beautiful bride."

Two of the happiest days of his life, he was certain, and he had no memory of either. "A vision in green and white walking down the beach to me," Loki mused. "You know now that I've seen this. If I close my eyes I think I can imagine it happening. Did we walk onto the beach together or did you walk out to me?" Loki closed his eyes as he pictured her in the dress walking toward him with the bouquet in her hands. "I'm guessing that you walked out to me. And I stood there watching you move closer… thinking… there she is. The most beautiful woman in all of the nine realms, eh heh heh heh." He smiled softly as he continued to close his eyes and tried to envision their wedding. "My beautiful little spider."

Natasha took his hand and kissed his cheek as she watched him imagine their wedding. She smiled and nodded, "I walked to you…it was breezy and perfect that day. The only sound outside of our vows was the soft lapping of the ocean waves against the beach. Not even the seagulls were around…Of course, I cried…it was everything you're imagining now. Beautiful. Simple and perfect…it was really one of the happiest days of my life. Well, at that point, it was the happiest day. Then Anya was born a few weeks later, and that was the other happiest day of my life." She kissed his cheek again, "It's alright if you don't remember, my love…we can make new memories…"

Loki opened his eyes as he set the frame down next to the picture of Anya before turning his attention back to his wife. He knew that she was right but a part of him still wished that he could remember. "I suppose it is time for your present, my pet." He held out his palm to reveal a small box. Loki watched as she opened it to reveal the pearl bracelet inside. The elegant jewelry contained twelve lustrous pearls in different colors that were accented with diamond rondelles sparkling against their silver findings.

"It is a mother's bracelet," Loki smiled softly as he ran his finger along the pearls. "Each color represents a different month of the year and you see this one here has Anya's name etched into it, pet, because that was the month that she was born. And we will do the same for the rest of our children."

Natasha gasped at the beauty of the bracelet. She'd never seem pearls so lustrous or diamonds so bright in her life. She held it up and smiled upon seeing her daughter's name engraved onto it, then quickly fastened it to her wrist, gasping again at the way the colors shimmered in the light, "Oh god Loki it's beautiful…it's…" She turned her eyes up to meet his adoring gaze and smiled even brighter…if that was possible, "Did you…did you say the rest of our children?"

"Yes, pet, that is what I meant when I said that it was more than jewelry and it was small but very big… for what it represents… what I wanted to tell you, my darling," Loki revealed as he captured a loose curl between his fingers. "I love our family and I love the idea of adding to it.. eh heh heh heh… whenever you're ready… whenever you want to… I will give you more children."

Natasha's smile was so wide, her cheeks were starting to ache. She playfully tackled him back onto the bed and began peppering his face with sweet kisses, "This may be my first winter solstice, but I honestly can't imagine them getting any better. You are making all of my most amazing dreams come true…I love you so much…"

She kissed him hungrily before her lips softly trailed down to his ear. She nipped at his ear lobe and softly murmured, "I'm ready if you are, my love."

"Eh heh heh heh," Loki chuckled softly, his tongue peeking playfully through his teeth as his dimples deepened. "Yes, pet. I'm very ready." He flipped her abruptly so that she was beneath him, using his magic to rid them of her clothes as his lips descended along her skin, moving languidly down her body. "I can't wait to fill you up with my child. I love you so much, Natalia."

Natasha arched beneath him as a series of pleasure-filled gasps left her mouth. She stretched languidly across the bed, basking in the feel of his lips on her body. Goosebumps erupted over her skin as he explore her with his mouth, eliciting sweet moans and shudders from her body.

"Oh…Loki…I will never get enough of your touch…"

"I adore you, darling," Loki breathed against her skin. "Every inch of you, the sounds you make, the little shivers along your body, I can never get enough of you. You were made for me, Natalia, just for me." He tenderly entered her as she writhed and arched her hips beneath him.

Natasha moaned as she pulled his forehead against hers and stared into his eyes, "I am made for you, Loki…I'm yours. Every part of me belongs to you. Oh…god…yes…I love you…"

Loki groaned audibly as he felt that jarring, pulsing climax over take her, bringing him with her as he allowed his seed to intermingle with hers. He used his powers to ensure conception, he could feel it working as he grinned between ragged breaths. "It's amazing… eh heh heh heh, I can feel it already, the little spark of our baby… I love you."

Natasha panted and softly kissed his lips as a smile spread across her lips. She nuzzled against his neck, "Mmm, you can? That's amazing…I love you too, Loki…my love…my everything."

After a few moments, she lay beside him, soaking up as much alone time as she could before Anya woke up. Her leg was draped across his naked form and she pressed kisses across his chest, "Another little girl would be wonderful…but I think I'd really like a boy this time."

"That I can't tell.. eh heh heh heh… I just feel their energy like a little light inside of you. It's an incredible feeling," Loki mused as he ran his fingers along her long cascading curls, his other hand resting along her thigh. He loved having her so close to him.

"I wish I could remember when we conceived Anya. I don't think about it often but sometimes when something really extra wonderful happens. You know… like when she said her first word, when she started to crawl, or even like when you put this ring on my finger or when you asked me to seduce you.. eh heh heh heh… or sneaking out onto the veranda. All these really special moments to me and I think… I'll never forget it and I realize how many moments that must have meant the world to me that I thought the same thing.. I'll never forget it and I've forgotten them. I don't have them anymore."

Natasha frowned a little as she stroked his arm. She wished he could remember too…but she was excited for what their future together held. She softly kissed his lips as she stared into his eyes, "I know nothing can ever replace the memories you lost of us…but we will build from this…we will make new memories. In the meantime, I can tell you everything you can't remember…as for Anya's conception…it happened when we were making love for the first time after us not having sex for a while. I was heartbroken because I loved you and didn't want to be with anyone else and you didn't want children. We made love and…I looked up into your eyes while you were inside of me and just whispered one word…'please'…then, we finished and you rolled over and put your hand on my belly…then told me that I was going to have my baby. I could tell you were still hesitant. You weren't completely on board until after she was in your arms. I saw something click when you looked down at her that first time. Originally, I was thinking I would be like a single parent, which I was ok with. I knew where you stood…then I saw you hold her…and suddenly, you became a father. It was beautiful. This time around…we both want this so much…we can actually enjoy this pregnancy and anticipate the birth…"

"There are so many things I look forward to," Loki mused as he brushed his lips along her forehead. "Watching your belly grow, feeling our baby move, seeing how Anya reacts to a new sibling, eh heh heh heh. I'm very excited, my pet, and very happy."

Natasha smiled as she kissed his palm and placed it on her belly, "I can't wait either. I have been known to get extremely horny while pregnant…and hungry. But you enjoyed the horny part."

"Extremely horny, eh heh heh heh," Loki chuckled as he caressed her stomach tenderly. "I definitely like the sound of that, pet. Exactly how long after conception did that part start, eh heh," he winked playfully.

Natasha kissed his lips as she rolled on top of him, "Hmmm…I'm not quite sure. Being married to you, I already feel like I'm on a constant state of lust for you…"

They had the opportunity to fit one last quick round of love making in before Anya awoke. The evenings ball was especially grand. Natasha could not stop grinning. Even Lorelei's presence didn't dim her happiness.

Natasha was talking to Frigga while Loki and Thor joined a few other nobleman to smoke pipes on the veranda. As soon as the group of men dispersed, Lorelei took the opportunity to move onto the veranda with him…alone.

"Hello love" she purred as a sultry smile played across her lips. "I wanted to give you your solstice present."

Loki was gazing out into the night sky with a blissful smile. He felt happy and content. It wasn't a feeling that he was used to at all but one that he very much enjoyed. He heard Lorelei's voice as she moved to stand beside him. He shook his head slightly as he continued to gaze in front of him.

"What did I say about seeking me out in private, my dear?" the young god admonished.

"I was hoping you might make allowances for my foible. After all, love, the solstice always held a special place for us," Lorelei lulled softly. "I know you haven't forgotten our first solstice together or the gift we gave each other."

"Of course not, pet," Loki rebuked as he turned to face her. "One doesn't forget their first time." A half-smile grazing his lips at the recollection and how young and awkward they were.

"In all our back and forth over the years we never failed to reunite for the holiday except for your time on Midgard," the sorceress contemplated. "Can you really blame me for wanting to spend a little time with you this evening, love?"

"Things have changed. I'm married now, my dear, and I can't except a present," Loki advised thoughtfully. The truth was though he wasn't in love with her, he did care about her and hurting her was not something that he took any joy in.

"Oh, come now, love, you can accept this," Lorelei purred as she opened up her hands and conjured a box in her palms. "I promise it is nothing sexual in nature and its technically already yours."

"Eh heh heh heh, well now you've peaked my curiosity," Loki chuckled as he lifted the top of the box. "My sketchbook," he gaped as he began to flip through the pages.

"I was surprised when we reunited in Midgard to find that you no longer drew… you said you lost your inspiration," the sorceress revealed. "Perhaps, you can find it again, love." She remarked as she brushed his long black hair behind his ear while he stared intently at the pictures in front of him.

Lorelei suddenly tilted his chin up and leaned up to press her lips against his.

Natasha had to ask around before she was directed onto the veranda. She made her way out and was immediately confronted by the sight of Lorelei's lips on her husband. She immediately rushed forward and shoved the enchantress away from Loki as hard as she could, sending her flying back toward the balcony railing.

"You bitch!" snapped Natasha before she advanced on Lorelei. The goddess quickly conjured an energy ball and sent it sailing toward Natasha. She flew backwards and hit her head against the stone wall, falling unconscious.

"Natalia," Loki shouted as he ran to her side and lifted her gently into his arms while Frigga and Thor came onto the balcony.

"What happened? Get the royal healer at once!" the Queen ordered.

"She attacked me," Lorelei stated coolly.

"I swear by the roots of Yggdrasil that if she isn't alright I will strangle you with my bare hands," Loki seethed his dark green eyes boring into the sorceress as the royal healer rushed toward them.

Natasha was moved to their quarters where she was diagnosed with a concussion. Loki was told that she would wake up soon and likely continue battling the residual effects of a headache for the next day or so.

Her eyes blinked open as the royal healer filed out of the room. She rubbed her eyes briefly and furrowed her eyebrows, "Loki…wha-…" Natasha suddenly remembered exactly what was going on before she was knocked unconscious.

"Where is that bitch?!" she sneered as she quickly sat up. It felt like she had an ice pick going through her head.

"No sitting up for you just yet, pet," Loki soothed as he gently tilted her back into the pillows. "You have a concussion and you need to lie down and rest. You have no idea how happy I am to see those sweet blue eyes of yours, darling. I was so worried about you."

"Loki…I saw you two…kissing. You think I can just lay down and rest after that?!" she snapped, stubbornly snatching away and yanking the covers from atop her as she sat up. Natasha swayed a bit as she stood up from the bed, "I am not going to rest until I get answers!"


	23. Chapter 23

Loki lifted her into his arms in one fell swoop and laid her back in bed. "You saw her put her lips on me, I didn't even have a chance to react before you came rushing through the room like a tornado and sent her flying into the balcony. I'm not sure what answers you're looking for, my darling, but you definitely don't need to get up from the bed to get them. Ask away, pet."

Natasha struggled slightly, but the pounding in her head stilled her movements. She cursed and placed a hand on her temple, "That bitch. You bring her to me…we'll see who comes out on top if she doesn't have access to her stupid fucking tricks. She kissed you! She deserved to be thrown over that goddamn rail! She won't fight me like a real woman…she better watch her back…and you. You should have knocked her block off."

"What do mean bring her to you?" Loki gaped as he sat down on the mattress at her side. "You can't be serious, pet."

Natasha glared and clenched her teeth, "I mean, bring the bitch here so that I can snap her fucking neck. She has been after you since day one. She has disrespected our marriage…this time, she's gone too far. I swear to all the gods in every single damn realm…I am going to hurt her."

"You need to calm down, darling," Loki admonished as he fixed her blankets tenderly. "You are not exactly well enough to be snapping much of anything. And you have our baby to think of, my pet. Forget about her and take care of yourself and our little one."

Natasha slowly settled down as she let out a breath and put a hand on her belly. She'd completely forgotten about the tiny bundle of cells that were busily dividing within the expanse of her womb to create their baby. She sighed and nodded, "Fine. You're right…I got so angry when I saw her kissing you…Loki…I don't want her around anymore."

"You needn't worry, pet, my mother has banished her from all palace festivities," Loki advised as he tangled his fingers along the strawberry curls falling about her shoulders.

Natasha breathed a small sigh of relief before regarding her husband carefully, "Loki…I really don't want you to see her again…can you promise me that you won't see her again?"

"What do you mean by see her? I'm not going to actively seek her out if that's what you're asking." Loki replied as he continued to play gently with the curls of her hair. "She is the last person that I want to see at the moment."

"I mean that I don't want you to speak to her…ever again. I know you won't actively seek her out, but she actively seeks you out. And obviously, that's enough. She kissed you, Loki."

"If you go to Midgard one day to visit your friends in SHIELD and Barton is there," Loki probed, his dark green eyes narrowing slightly at the thought. "What will you do?"

"Oh my god. Are you serious? That bitch just gave your pregnant wife a concussion! Do you really want to start an argument about her? What does she have to do for you to tell her to stay the fuck away from you? Does she have to kidnap Anya?"

"I wasn't trying to start an argument. I was asking you a question, pet," Loki retorted. "He wants you for himself. He has no respect for me or my place as your husband. Yet he was your friend, so what would you do if you crossed paths with him?"

"What a coincidence! Lorelei wants you for herself…Clint has never tried to kiss me. In fact, I haven't seen Clint in months. It seems like Lorelei is everywhere you go in this fucking place. You can't swing a dead cat without running into that bitch and she KISSED YOU. This situation can't even be compared to Clint, you know why? Cause as much as he talks…as many things as he says, he would never put his hands…OR HIS LIPS on me without my permission. Unlike that whore you insist on associating yourself with. She has no respect for me as your wife! Need I remind you that she gave your pregnant wife a concussion just now…or does that not matter to you?! And if I did cross paths with Clint, I would tell him hi. We would sit down, talk, have a few laughs, then go our separate ways."

"Barton has no respect for me as your husband. I saw the look in his eyes when he was at the mansion. If he could have taken a shot at me he would have," Loki replied calmly. "I'm very angry with Lorelei at the moment and a few hours ago I could have snapped her neck with my bare hands. Like I said, I have no desire to speak with her at the moment. But if you think it's alright to sit down with him and talk and have a few laughs than I can't see why I should promise that I will never speak to her again."

"So…you're totally ok with the fact that she assaulted me? The conception of our baby might fail because of her. She KISSED you. And regardless of what clint wanted to do, he didn't do it! I'm starting to believe that you have feelings for her. That is the only thing that explains it. Here I am…worlds away from Barton after not seeing him for months when I was on earth, and your ex kisses you and gives me a concussion…and you think that, in the future, you should still have the right to see her, but you have forbid me from seeing or even speaking to clint. I've told you how uncomfortable she makes me but you don't care! It's great to see that you can just get over what she did. Come to think of it, I'm not so sure you didn't kiss her back…maybe I didn't walk in on her kissing you. Maybe I walked in on you two kissing…"

Natasha glared at him and rolled over, her back facing him. She felt tears stinging at her eyes as she gripped the pillow. She didn't want him to see her cry, "Would you leave please? I'd like to be alone."

"No.. I'm not going anywhere," Loki sighed. "Our baby is fine, my darling. I can feel it as strong as ever. You needn't worry about that, pet, alright? And I didn't kiss her. I have no desire to kiss her or any other woman. I'm not okay with what she did. But you just told me that if you run into Clint that you are perfectly fine with sitting down with him and having a few laughs as you say so I don't see why I should promise that I will never speak to her again. Unless you want to promise the same."

"Loki…did Lorelei ever save your life? Hm? Was she your absolute only friend? Remember, you have always had Thor…I never had anyone…Clint would never kiss me, ok? Even when you were in your coma, I didn't see him. Coulson volunteered to have him flown in because I was so torn up, but I refused…my situation with Clint is completely different than yours with Lorelei. She and I have come to physical blows twice. She kissed you…kissed you, Loki. How is that even the same thing? She has actually done me physical harm and blatantly disrespected our marriage in a tangible way. Your anger with Clint stems from a friendship that happened to have some physicality to it…but the physical part of it was over before you even stepped foot on Midgard. It's nothing but your jealousy. What Lorelei did was real…see?" She shoved her hair off of her forehead to reveal the ugly knot there.

"Thor is my brother, pet, and he has Fandral, Volstagg, Sif and a host of others who are his friends. I had Lorelei, alright, that's it. So yes, she was my absolute only friend since I was fifteen. The only one other than my mother who didn't scoff at my love of magic, literature and… art." Loki divulged quietly. "She attacked you, yes but both times it was in response to your own attack. And before you start screaming, I'm not excusing it. She was wrong tonight, in every way. But you act as though she came there with the attention of physically assaulting you which she didn't. Barton has no respect for our marriage and just because he hasn't kissed you yet doesn't mean one day he wouldn't especially if you were in Midgard and I was still here. I didn't think Lorelei would have done it either. I thought she understood our new boundaries. I was wrong. And you could be too."

He brushed his fingers through his hair as he always did when he was frustrated. "The simple fact is that we both have two friends that we care about and we are both jealous of those people. Barton wants you for himself, Lorelei would like me back. I'm willing to promise whatever you're willing to promise and not a smidge more."

"I haven't seen Clint in over five months. I moved worlds away from him. Banish her from Asgard for five months. That would be the equivalent of what I gave to you", she said without rolling over.

"I don't have the power to banish her, darling," Loki stated softly. He didn't like the fact that she found it so difficult to agree to never see the archer again. "So if I don't speak to her for five months that would satisfy you?"

"It would be a start", she murmured. "Is Anya still asleep?"

"Yes, she is fast asleep," Loki advised as he brushed his fingers along her lush curls. "What do you mean by that would be a start?"

"If you can agree to keep her away from you, me and our daughter for five months…then we will make an agreement to each other…I will never see Clint again and you will never see her again, alright?"

"And why do you want to wait five months, may I ask, pet?" Loki probed as his gaze narrowed. "What exactly is the point?"

"I want to see if you can stick to your word", she said, rolling onto her back and rubbing her forehead.

"Excuse me? Are you serious? Exactly how many times have I broken my word to you that you need to test me?" Loki snapped angrily as he stood up from the bed.

"It's obvious that all bets are off when it comes to her. If any other person had done what she'd done to me, you would have killed them without hesitation. To be frank, Loki…I don't trust you when it comes to Lorelei."

"You don't trust me?" Loki fumed, his mouth opened in shock. "I can't believe you. I can't believe that you just said that to me."

"I trust you. Just not when it comes to her. And don't act shocked, Loki. If you trusted me with Clint, you wouldn't have any problem with me seeing him, but because you are jealous, just like me, you don't trust me with him and you don't want me to see him. Lorelei and Clint bring out the worst in our insecurities and trust issues."

"I don't like him with you and yes, I am insecure when it comes to him. The idea of him touching you, trying to take you away from me. The fact that you care about him so much that you are so hesitant to promise that you won't see him again. That look on your face when you read that note from Heimdall. I'm very jealous and possessive over you. And I know it isn't exactly rational. It's embedded deep inside me somewhere. It's a problem that I never had before." Loki admitted as he began to pace the room. "But I trust you. If you swore to me that you wouldn't ever speak to him again. I would believe you. And you are telling me that you don't believe me when I never lied to you, pet. Never broken my word to you."

"You say that her actions against me tonight were somewhat justified because I attacked her first. Can you blame me? I caught her kissing you! If any other person in existence had done what she did tonight, would they still be alive right now, Loki? What if she was just another goddess with magical powers who drunkenly threw herself on you and kissed you? If I pushed her off of you, then she retaliated and injured me…what would you have done to her?"

"At the moment that it happened I wanted to kill her but seeing to you was more important than satisfying my anger. My first instinct was to go to you and see that you were alright and it would have been the same whoever it was." Loki remarked as he continued to move about the room. "If I had lost you or our baby, she would be dead now. But you are both fine so I have the ability to think rationally instead of being consumed with ire."

"Silvertongue indeed…you didn't answer my question, Loki. Had she been anyone else…would she still be alive right now?"

"Yes, she would be. I'm not in the habit of killing people in cold blood," Loki gaped as he stared down at her. "Do you think the All-Father would find me justified for killing a woman because my wife has a bump on the head? I admit I have a short temper but even so logic has a good chance of winning out when I have time to think."

Natasha sighed and rolled over as she rubbed her forehead, "I'm going to go to sleep. My head hurts."

"That's a good idea, it is very late and you need rest," Loki remarked as he moved to leave the bedroom. "Good night, pet." He glanced at the old sketchbook that was resting on the dresser before picking it up and moving to sit in the front room. He flipped the pages to the middle of the book where the blank canvases began and conjured a pencil in his hand. He began sketching a picture of his daughter. He hadn't thought of drawing since he woke up in the hospital. The idea of which puzzled him slightly. But he had more important worries on his mind at the moment. It bothered him a great deal that she didn't trust his word. He might be the god of mischief and lies but he took great pride in his word. He never broke an oath. And he hated the idea that his wife thought that he would.

A half hour later, Anya woke up fussing and he quickly moved to get her, dropping his sketchbook and pencil along his nightstand on his way into the nursery.

"Dada! Dada!" the little girl pouted as he lifted her from the crib, rocking her softly as he began to sing her a lullaby.

Natasha heard Anya's cries and immediately sat up. Thanks to the pain in her head, she was a little slow getting to the door. When she made it there, she spotted Loki softly rocking her.

"Is she alright?" she whispered as she made her way toward them, using furniture to anchor her as she sat in the arm chair across from him.

"Of course she is alright, darling," Loki advised as he shook his head at her stubbornness. "But you are not, pet. You shouldn't be up. You need to rest until your head is better. You could have fallen on your way in here, my darling." He shifted his daughter onto his hip as he reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. "Here… let me help you back to bed."

It took a few moments, but soon, she was back in bed. She lay down and stared up at him as he sat beside her with Anya in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Loki…I didn't mean to upset you. It's not really you I don't trust…it's mostly her. I just keep thinking about all of the stuff she's done. I don't hold you accountable for what she did before you lost your memory, but I still hold her accountable…she's capable of such evil when it comes to me…I just have a fear that you'll be blinded by her friendship and won't be able to see how much she's willing to hurt me."

"Mostly her? I don't like the idea of you testing me as if I would promise you something and then do the opposite." Loki sat on the edge of the bed as he held his daughter softly in his arms. Her green eyes slowly closing as she rested her head against his chest. "You and Anya and our new little one are most important to me and I would never break my word to you once I've given it."

Natasha closed her eyes and sighed softly, "Alright…alright. I'm sorry. It's all her. I just don't trust her at all. And I have good reason not to. She kissed my husband."

"I don't expect you to trust her or like her, pet," Loki advised as he brushed his lips against his daughters soft curls tenderly. "And like I said she won't be at any further Royal festivities. What happened tonight will not happen again."

Natasha sighed and nodded, "How do you plan on keeping her lips away from yours from now on? Just because she's banned from royal festivities doesn't mean you'll never see her again…or so you've let me know."

"I only said that I wasn't going to make a promise that you weren't willing to make, darling," Loki retorted as he stood up from the mattress. "I know how to handle Lorelei if the need ever arises but as I told you I have no desire to speak with her at the moment. I'm going to put Anya back to bed."

Natasha waited for him to return to bed before quietly whispering, "I ruined Solstice, didn't I?"

"No.. you didn't ruin anything, pet," Loki advised as he leaned against the headboard. His finger grazing along the edge of the sketchbook that rested along the nightstand. His dark green eyes gazing at the framed pictures of Anya and their wedding day. "I would have done the same thing in your place."

Natasha rolled over, cautiously scooting into his side, "I love you…I don't want to fight anymore. Can you just hold me?"

"There is nothing I would love to do more, darling," Loki advised as he wrapped his arms around her tenderly as he brushed his lips along her forehead. "You are the most important person in all of the nine realms.. you are the one… the only one for me… the only woman I have ever loved, the only woman that I want. You are my wife. I love you, Natalia."

Days passed and the pain in her head finally faded completely and life went back to normal. Natasha had cooked up a small picnic basket of treats for lunch and was setting out the dishes along the blanket on the ground as Anya sat in his lap playing with her ragdoll and unicorn.

"Everything smells delicious, pet," Loki smiled as he gazed up at her affectionately.

Natasha smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips, "Thank you, my love." She finished arranging food for her family and settled down along the blanket as she began eating. Her appetite had started to kick up a bit.

"I heard there might be some trouble in Alfheim. Have you heard anything?"

"Some sort of border dispute with Nidavellir," Loki advised as he took the unicorn in his hand and pretended to gallop over Anya's head as she giggled. "Why do you ask, pet?"

Natasha shrugged as she helped herself to a chocolate croissant, "I heard one of your fathers advisors mention it and I've been trying to learn more about the different realms and their relationships with one another. I don't like not knowing who's an enemy and who's an ally."

"Well, technically everyone is an ally until they go against the wishes of the All-Father and disturb his peace for the nine realms," Loki mused as he gazed up at his wife thoughtfully. "Svartalfheim and Jotunnheim are the usual culprits for trouble. They seem to take turns on rising up and trying to overthrow Asgard's authority. But this thing between light elves and dwarves is nothing to worry over. Diplomacy will be sufficient to settle their troubles, darling. I'm glad that you are taking such an interest in our realms. It pleases me very much."

Natasha smiled and offered him a bite of her chocolate croissant, "It's my home now…and our children's home. It's important that I understand the history, the geography, customs, relationships…everything."

She smiled slightly, "Speaking of children, have you noticed how much I've been eating recently?"

"Eh heh heh heh, yes, I have, pet." Loki grinned happily. "Does our little one like chocolate?" He reached over and pressed his hand against her belly tenderly. "It means so much to me to hear you call Asgard your home, my darling."

Natasha smiled and put her hand atop his, "Sure. I'll blame the baby on my obsession with chocolate."

She leaned in and kissed him again, "It is my home now. Our home."

"Eh heh heh heh, I love the sound of that, my pet," Loki chuckled as he kissed her once more. "You know I was thinking that perhaps…." the young god's voice trailed off as his eyes caught sight of Lorelei walking down the cobblestoned path. "Please stay calm, darling, for the baby. I will get rid of her."

Natasha tensed considerably as her eyes narrowed at the goddess, but she listened to Loki. She was just a bit further along in her pregnancy now and a confrontation could seriously endanger her baby's health.

She moved closer to Anya and nodded without taking her eyes off of Lorelei.

Loki stood up from the ground and took a step toward the sorceress. He was more than a little annoyed to have her disturbing his time with his family. "What are you doing on palace grounds, Lorelei? I thought the Queen's mandate was quite clear."

"I had an audience with the All-Father. He is not as ruled by his emotions as your mother," Lorelei advised in her usual lilting tone. "He concedes that what happened was a mutual argument and has dissolved her mandate. I came here to apologize to you both for the misunderstanding."

Natasha watched their exchange with great curiosity, but her attention was pulled away by Anya when she smashed her hand into a mini-strawberry tart. She quickly produced a towel to wipe her daughter's hand and move the mess away from her as she shifted Anya onto her lap.

"I wonder what daddy's talking to her about…" she murmured as she kissed the top of her daughter's head.

"I can assure you that my wife has no interest in your apologies, my dear, and quite frankly, at the moment, neither do I," Loki snipped. "I warned you, Lorelei, I will not have you upsetting my wife. Now leave. I could care less what the All-Father ruled in your behalf. I don't want to see you here again."

"You're in one of your moods, I see," Lorelei teased in a playful tone. "We both know you can't stay mad at me for long, love."

"I'm not mad at you," the young god drawled as he took another step closer. His dark green eyes narrowing in irritation. "I'm just tired of you. Now go."

Natasha was just about to stand up to approach her husband and Lorelei when Frigga walked over. She started to smile at Natasha, but her eyes caught sight of the enchantress and her son, prompting her to stomp right over to them.

"What are you doing here, Lorelei?!" she snapped. "I don't want you anywhere near my family! We have gone through enough without your petty meddling! We are finally happy and I'll not have that ruined by the likes of you! My son is a happily married man and there is absolutely no reason why you should continue seeking him out!"

"Your Majesty," Lorelei bowed reverently. "I'm sorry if I've somehow upset you. I simply came here to give my sincerest apology for what happened during the solstice."

"Pardon me, Mother, but this is between Lorelei and I," Loki interrupted. "Please go see to Natasha." Frigga nodded reluctantly as she walked back to where Natasha was standing with their daughter.

"She still thinks your five," Lorelei laughed as she gazed at the Queen walking away. "Rushing in to fight your battles for you. But we aren't battling are we, love? I have no problem leaving as you requested and in a few months when you are bored as we both know you will be. You will know where to find me, love."

Frigga returned to Natasha in a slight huff. She frowned slightly, "Are you alright, your highness?"

The queen sighed, "I'm sorry, my dear. I know that Odin and Loki believe that your…encounter with Lorelei was a bit uncouth, but I honestly do not blame you. I have never liked that woman. She is nothing but trouble…an opportunist. She's been trying to keep Loki's attention for ages, but he's smart enough to not get wrapped up into her games for too long. He always kept her at arm's length. She hated that. That's why she's stepping up her meddling now. She finds it hard to believe that a mortal could have drawn him in so quickly. She's been trying to lure him into marriage for years…"

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, my dear, but my philandering days are long over," Loki advised truthfully. "Now if you'll excuse me. I need to get back to my family."

"Such loyalty you have. It's too bad its wasted on a woman who can't stop thinking of another man," Lorelei jabbed with a faint smirk. "Did she ever tell you of the time that she said his name while she was in bed with you?"


	24. Chapter 24

Natasha looked up just in time to see Loki's head snap in her direction. She slowly handed Anya off to Frigga and moved toward them.

"Just what in the hell is going on here? He's said his piece to you, Lorelei. Now go", she snapped.

"Oh. I was just telling him about that time…remember, dear? You said Clint's name while you were in bed with Loki?" she asked tauntingly.

Natasha's fists clenched at her side, "That happened when I was still his slave and under his servitude. We weren't even in love…hell, at that point we didn't even like each other!"

"That's not the way you told it, love." Lorelei retorted as she glared at the Black Widow,

Loki took a deep breath as he tried to push away the jealousy that was thundering through his veins. "Natalia, go back with Frigga." he said coolly before taking Lorelei by the arm and pulling her further down the path.

"You were devastated when you heard it, you felt like a complete and utter fool," she continued as he tugged her along the cobblestones.

"Don't test me anymore today, pet," the young god snapped angrily as he stopped walking. His dark green eyes gazing at her evilly. "You know I like things done my way. Don't make me tell you again."

"Don't shoot the messenger, love," the sorceress crooned. "Like I said, Loki, you know where to find me." Lorelei smiled broadly before she dissipated into thin air.

Natasha was trembling in anger. She'd refused to budge from her spot. She could hear her heartbeat thundering in her chest as her face turned red, "That BITCH is lying! Yes, you were pissed at me. When you heard it, you choked me, but that was ages ago, Loki! She's lying!"

Natasha suddenly groaned as she doubled over in pain, clutching her lower abdomen.

Loki's mind went completely blank as he saw his wife clutch her stomach in pain. "Mother, stay with Anya," he ordered as he grabbed Natasha by the hand and teleported them to the royal healer.

The doctor rushed to her side at the sight of the Prince and his wife appearing in his office. The young god watched as he examined her, giving her some herbs as he made her lie down and rest. Loki knew the child was alright at least for the moment. He could feel it pulsing within her. He had told her to let him handle Lorelei. Why couldn't she listen to him? Why did she have to insist on confronting her. He stood at her side as he brushed his fingers along her hair. "Everything is going to be alright, Natalia. Don't worry."

"Your Royal Highness," the doctor began. "When you brought her here, she was in the middle of a contraction. I see nothing wrong physically to have brought it on. I assume it must be stress related. It is imperative that she rest and relax, And a daily dose of the herbs that I've given her. They help calm the body."

Natasha reached for his hand and let out a soft sigh. She felt better now that the herbs were in her system. The pain subsided, and she was much calmer. When the healer left them alone, she stared up at Loki, "I'm sorry, Loki…I know I should have stayed back. But I saw the way you looked in my direction and I knew she'd said something about me…she's always trying to get in your head…she's always trying to hurt me and tear us apart.

She closed her eyes and let out a breath in an effort to calm herself, "I'm sorry. I just…I don't want her around us. Please, Loki. Make her stay away."

"You saw her leave," Loki stated softly as he rested his hand against her belly. "You need to think about our baby. Anya and this little one that is all that should be on your mind."

Natasha swallowed hard and nodded as a tear ran down her cheek, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have confronted her…I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to put our baby at risk…I'll be careful. I promise…I won't get worked up anymore."

"Forget what I said before," Loki exhaled as he continued to caress her stomach. He could feel the little bundle of energy. The Fates forbid anything happened to extinguish it. "You and our children are more important than my pride and my stupid jealousy. I swear by the All-Father that I will never speak to her again except to tell her to get the Hel away from me if the need arises. I don't want you to worry about anything alright, Natalia."

Natasha smiled through her tears as she gently cupped his face, "Thank you, Loki…I love you so much. I don't want anything to ever come in the way of us being happy together. Our family is all that matters to me. I've never been so happy and I won't let anything come between us."

Loki closed his eyes as he tried to push down the jealousy that was pounding against his chest. Lorelei's words echoing over and over in his head.

"Such loyalty you have. It's too bad it's wasted on a woman who can't stop thinking of another man"

Natasha would never make the same promise to him. There was a part of him that couldn't shake the feeling that Lorelei was telling the truth.

"Let's get you back to our chambers so you can rest in your own bed," He replied solemnly. "Then I'll get Anya from my mother."

Natasha had just settled down into her own bed as Loki gently adjusted the blankets over her. Just as he turned to leave to walk out of the room, she called him back and held out a hand for him. She smiled, "I…I want to tell you that I promise the same thing. I won't ever speak to Clint again unless it's to tell him that I can't speak to him anymore. I don't want you to be the only one making sacrifices. I want us to have a clean slate, alright? Just us…no exes, no distractions…just our family."

Loki sat on the mattress as he wrapped his arms around her and buried his head in her soft lush curls. "Thank you for that… I know I have no reason to be so… I love you so much, Natalia. I don't ever want to be without you." He sat up slowly as he wiped away the tears that had escaped from his eyes. "Our little one is going to be fine," he smiled. "The only thing I want you to think about is what delicious treat you want me to conjure for you, pet."

Natasha laughed softly, "Believe it or not, I'm not hungry at this precise moment, but I will think of something delicious for later. Maybe you should go get Anya. I'm sure your mother is ready for a break now."

She kissed him and rested her forehead against his, "I love you so much…we'll never be apart…ever."

Loki retrieved Anya from his mother and quickly returned to their chambers. He was worried about his wife and the baby. He just had to make sure that she stayed calm and relaxed. He grinned widely as he walked into the room, holding their daughter. "Here you go, Anya, here's Mommy," Loki stated as he sat the child beside her on the bed.

Natasha sat up as Anya crawled onto her lap. She hugged and kissed her daughter, smiling as Anya babbled nonsensically and played with the little stuffed animal in her hand, "Did you have a good time with your grandma?"

After a few days the royal healer took Natasha off bed rest and gave her the okay to go about her usual activities. The weeks went by with relative quiet and her prediction about being extra horny during pregnancy began to kick in. Loki had barely laid Anya down in the crib for her nap before he felt his wife's hungry lips against his neck as her hands slid up his shirt while she pressed her body against his back.

The young god grinned widely as he turned in her arms, kissing her hungrily as they scrambled toward the bedroom. His lips moving sensually across her body before he froze suddenly. His dark green eyes staring at her stomach as he realized for the first time that she was starting to show.

"Eh heh heh heh, that's our baby," Loki laughed as he caressed the swell of her belly tenderly.

Natasha smiled warmly as she gently ran her fingers through his hair. Moments like these for him were almost lost on her. She remembered that her husband didn't remember her first pregnancy. In his known mind, this was the first time he saw her belly start to swell with his child. Actually, this was a blessing. He had been more afraid and reluctant to get attached to the baby during her first pregnancy. Now, as he pressed soft kisses to her stomach and tenderly caressed her belly, she saw a glint in his eyes she'd never seen before.

"Yeah…that's our baby…just wait until you start seeing him or her move. Even though you were so reluctant about my first pregnancy, I felt so close to you because I had a part of you inside of me…just like I do now. This is us", she said as she placed her hand atop his.

"It's amazing… a little of me and a little of you, eh heh heh heh… I love this… MY beautiful wife and you're carrying MY baby," Loki grinned as he moved back up her body, brushing his lips teasingly along the soft spot behind her ear. "The mother of MY children… eh heh. Mine, I love knowing your mine… all mine… my beautiful Natalia."

Natasha held his face in her hands as she looked into his eyes, "I'm all yours…and you're all mine…"

She kissed him hungrily, moaning softly as their bodies joined. She could never get enough of him, especially during her pregnancy. It was as if her body craved as much of him as it could get and they both loved every single second of it.

When they were sated, she lay on her side, tracing invisible patterns over his stomach and chest, "My love…my life…my husband."

Loki quickly became obsessed with her belly. His eyes were constantly drawn to her middle whether he was caressing her stomach gently or carrying on long conversations to the baby beneath while they lied in bed. As the weeks went by the swell in her abdomen slowly got more and more pronounced and the young god loved every minute of it.

Frigga insisted on taking Natasha to the market in town. She was throwing a grand ball in honor of Thor's birthday in two weeks and she wanted to pick out the perfect dresses. His wife had hemmed and hawed and dodged his mother for as long as she could to get out of dress shopping but now they were down to the wire and the Queen would not take no for an answer.

"Do you want me to come with you, my pet? You know for a little moral support while you're being tortured," Loki winked as he gently caressed her belly over her light green tunic that went very well with her grey slacks and matching blouse.

Natasha's eyes widened hopefully as she smiled and nodded eagerly, "You would do that? Oh…I would love if it you could come." She narrowed her eyes a bit and laughed, "This is a ploy to try to stick by my side long enough to finally catch the baby moving, isn't it?"

For about a week, she'd been feeling the baby move, and despite his attentiveness to her stomach, every time she tried to move his hand to the spot where the baby was moving, the little one would play possum and go still as soon as its father's hand was nearby. She found it hilarious. Loki was growing increasingly frustrated with their baby's reluctance to move for him.

An hour later, she strolled along with her husband and Frigga along a row of shops. Natasha was able to blame pregnancy exhaustion on the reason that the queen had to limit herself to one store and only a handful of dresses.

Loki watched as his mother searched through the myriad of dresses displayed along the shop. He came up behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin along her shoulder as he whispered. "Do you get any say at all in the picking, pet?" His hands moving along her stomach hoping that their little one might make an appearance.

Natasha turned her head to the side and kissed his lips before looking at the rack in front of her and running her hand over the racks of clothes, "Not really…I kind of get some say…but to save time, I just let her pick."

She smiled down at his hands as he rubbed her belly, "Move your hand to the left. They've been favoring that side this morning."

"Don't say it so loud they'll hear you and then they won't do it, eh heh heh heh," Loki jested as he snuggled closer. "They are very stubborn which clearly they must get from you because I'm very flexible, eh heh heh heh."

Natasha raised a brow before playfully pinching him in the side and laughing, "Yeah right. Of course. Blame the stubbornness on me." She kissed his lips just as a familiar, unwelcome voice sounded behind them, "Oh dear. Loki…what are you doing in a dress shop?"

Loki kept his arms surrounding her as he placed a gentle kiss along her neck before responding without even bothering to turn around. "Our last conversation was our very last, Lorelei, I don't wish to speak to you except to tell you to leave me and my family alone."

"Hm. She has trained you well, Loki. Fine…I suppose I will see you both at the party", she said before walking away. Natasha relaxed considerably and whispered a soft "thank you" as she felt Loki continue to caress her stomach.

"No, thank you, my darling, for being crazy enough to fall in love with me," Loki jested as he continued to hold her belly tenderly. His eyes widening suddenly. "I felt it… eh heh heh heh… by the nines.. their strong, pet."

Natasha smiled and looked down, pressing her hand over his as she laughed, "Finally. I was hoping this little one would start showing themselves for you."

She turned her head to kiss him sweetly on his cheek as Frigga moved toward them, "Alright you two lovebirds. Natasha, what do you think of this one?"

"It's lovely. We should get that one", she said quickly.

Frigga raised a brow, "Are you certain you don't want to try it on?"

"I trust you implicitly. Can we go?"

Two weeks quickly passed and the night of Thor's birthday celebration arrived. Loki kissed his little girl sweetly on the head as she slept soundly in her crib. He gave a quick nod to the Nanny who was sitting in the corner with a book along her lap as he exited the nursery.

"You look stunning, my pet," Loki remarked as he came upon her gazing at herself in her new gown. "How are you feeling, darling?"

Natasha turned around and shrugged slightly as she rubbed her hands down her stomach, "A little tired…a little fat, but otherwise very very happy to have a night off from our precious princess."

She leaned up and kissed him, "You look so handsome in your formal armor. My only issue with it is how difficult it is to get you out of it."

"Don't worry, I'll help you with that, later," Loki grinned impishly as he deepened their kiss before offering her his arm. They preceded to the Great Hall where most of the guests had already gathered as they were announced into the chamber. Loki always enjoyed being fashionably late. He led his wife towards the guest of honor. "Happy Birthday, Thor. Why am I not surprised that you already have a plate of food in your hands." He looked at his brother's pained expression and frowned. "What's the matter, brother?"

"What do you think," Thor exasperated.

The young god gazed at his brother thoughtfully, only one word came to mind. "Amora."

Natasha looked between her husband and brother-in-law. It was obvious they shared some unspoken truth concerning Thor's bad mood.

"What's going on? What's wrong?"

"The Enchantress has returned from Vanaheim," Thor lamented as he stared at the plate in his hands. "It's not so much that she is here as her announcement that she is staying on in Asgard for the foreseeable future."

"Amora is Lorelei's sister and she has been relentless in her pursuit of him over the years," Loki informed his wife. "She has not been above trying to use magic in the past. But she has always been too careful to get caught. Her antics have always driven Thor crazy. That's because you are too much of a gentlemen, brother, that has always been your problem."

Natasha frowned a little bit and scrunched her eyebrows together, "What about that woman back on earth? Jane Foster? Why don't you go back to Midgard for a while to get away from her? Clear your head…reconnect with Jane. Coulson mentioned you two were pretty hot and heavy…or…was I not supposed to mention that?"

"She does not wish to leave Midgard and Asgard is my home," Thor replied solemnly. "I did not mean to make everyone so gloomy. Let us speak of something else."

Loki patted his brother on the back affectionately. His dark green eyes falling upon the two sisters in the opposite corner of the room. "It is alright, brother, you are the guest of honor. We will talk about whatever you wish."

"I'm sorry, Thor…I wish there was something we could do to help", she said just as Amora walked over with Lorelei. Natasha glared at the women and put her hand on Loki's shoulder as Lorelei smiled sweetly at her, "Good evening, your highness…happy birthday…hello Lady Natasha….you're looking rather…full…this evening."

"Yes, a very happy birthday, your highness," Amora smiled as she brushed her long blonde hair over her shoulder, drawing attention to the v-line of her dark green dress. "It has been far too long since I've seen the both of you. Now that I've returned to Asgard we will have to make up for lost time." Her deep green gaze turned toward Loki and Natasha as wicked smile spread across her lips. "It is nice to finally meet you, Lady Natasha. I've heard so much about you. Loki was so proud of himself when he purchased you."

"That's enough, Amora," Loki snapped. "Move along before I seal your mouth shut."

"See I told you, sister, he is as easy to frazzle as ever," Amora smirked. "You will never change, Loki… it must take so much energy for you to play the dutiful husband and content brother. But the real you is simmering beneath… ambitious, self-absorbed and filled to the brim with anger. Even if you don't remember it. But maybe I can help you with that."

"We don't need your help. If you didn't hear my husband before, he asked you to move along and shut your mouth. Either you aren't hearing very well, or you are blatantly disobeying a direct request from a prince of Asgard. Either way, it's time for both of you to both to walk away and shut up before invite the queen over to personally escort you out. She did tell me she'd rather have wild bilesnipe at her party than you two trollops."

"Well, doesn't your little mortal have quite a mouth on her," Amora snipped with a raised brow. "You better remind her who she is talking to and just how powerful I am before I do it for you, Loki."

"Don't you ever threaten my wife," Loki seethed as he stepped between Natasha and the Enchantress. "Would you like to have a go, Amora? I would be glad to show everyone here just who is the more powerful."

"Everyone stop," Thor interrupted in his deep rumble. "Amora take your sister to the banquet table and stay away from my brother and his wife or I will have a guard escort you from the hall."

Thor, I'm so sorry. I just…god. How do you guys put up with them? Have they always been such huge bitches?"

Thor smirked, "It's alright, Lady Natasha. I do tire of their antics…"

She turned to Loki and gently pulled him close, "I'm sorry. I can't keep my temper under control when it comes to them…"

"Amora and I have never really gotten along," Loki admitted as he kissed her softly. "At best we feign indifference. She just enjoys pushing my buttons. She always has."

Natasha couldn't get over the way Amora and Lorelei kept staring at them. She leaned into her husband, "Why do they keep looking at us? I'm not comfortable with that…are you ready to go?"

"Certainly, my darling," Loki replied as he led her toward the entrance way. "Thor will understand that we don't want to stay to the bitter end, eh heh heh heh. He would have been gone hours ago if he wasn't the guest of honor."

Natasha smiled as they walked back toward their room. She leaned up and kissed him, "Is something on your mind? You seem a little preoccupied."

"Just something Amora said," Loki replied honestly as they walked into their chamber. "About my ambition. The biggest ambition that I remember was trying to compete with my brother for my father's attention. I guess she was talking about when I tried to rule your world." He undid the clasps of his cape as he laid it along the chair in the corner of the room. "And that she could help me remember. Not that I would ever take her help but I wonder if… if there is a spell of some kind that would bring back my memory."

Natasha moved toward him and turned around so that he could unlace her dress. She sucked her teeth slightly and shook her head as she removed the pins from her hair, letting it fall over her shoulders.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Loki…Amora doesn't seem like the type to 'help' anyone unless she was causing damage or it benefited her in some way. There's no way you could ever trust her to assist you with such a thing. What if it's a spell that erases your recent memories? I would just…I'd rather keep things the way they are."

"I didn't mean to have her help me.. I'm not an idiott," Loki quipped as he finished unlacing her dress and slid the garment down her shoulders. "I just assumed my injury was physical and I haven't really thought about trying to find a spell. Perhaps, there is something that I could do. Maybe I could find something on my own. I could remember our first kiss or holding Anya."

Natasha shook her head as she let the garment pool at her feet, "I don't think that's a good idea. If I've learned anything…it's that nothing comes without a price. If you get your memory back, something is going to be taken away from us…I know it…"

"I still have that dream sometimes where everything around me is so black and I feel so inconsolable and alone and I know I've lost something. Something very precious to me," Loki revealed sadly. "Maybe its my memories… maybe that's what the dream means.. all those things that must have meant so much to me that I don't remember any more."

Natasha turned around and softly cupped his face in her hands. She leaned forward before slowly kissing his lips and pressing her forehead against his, "My love. My everything…if you feel you have to do this to find comfort…do it. I want you to be whole and happy…but I beg of you…please be careful. I have a bad feeling."

"No.. I was just thinking… an idle thought really. I don't need to, pet," Loki advised as he wrapped his arms around her and returned her kiss. "If you have a bad feeling.. if it worries you than I don't want to. I have you and Anya and our little one. Nothing can make me more whole than that, my darling."

Natasha wrapped her arms around him and kissed him lovingly on the lips, "I love you so much. You and our children are all I could ever want."

She led him over to the bed, "Make love to your fat wife."

"You mean my exquisitely voluptuous wife," Loki grinned as he followed her to the bed, using his magic to disperse with his uniform. "I would like nothing more than to make love to you all night, darling."

Natasha leaned back on the bed and pulled his lips to hers as they kissed passionately, "Mmmm…I love you so much."


	25. Chapter 25

Time passed smoothly and soon Natasha was well into her third trimester. The newest member of their families punches and kicks were very hard to miss. Loki rested his hand against her stomach as the baby pounded from within. They were enjoying a family brunch along the atrium of the Palace grounds. Odin and Frigga sat across from them at the table as Thor entertained Anya on the patio floor.

"We need to think of names, pet," Loki smiled as he caressed her belly gently.

Natasha smiled as she took a sip of her juice and nodded in agreement. Frigga sat up excitedly, "Do you have any ideas? Perhaps we should consult the family books? I'm certain this one is a boy. He will need a name worthy of a prince."

Natasha smiled as she rested her hand atop Loki's, "I think it would be nice to pick something that celebrates both of our heritages."

"Both? Do you wish to take a name in Asgard and a Midgardian name and smush them together…eh heh heh heh… that could be interesting and a little scary, eh heh," Loki teased playfully as he felt their baby tap once more against his hand.

Natasha smiled and shrugged her shoulders, "I'm not sure. Our cultures have a history together. I'm sure there are Nordic names that have Asgardian roots."

"Why don't you conjure a book of Nordic names and read it off from A to Z," Thor smiled as he continued to play with his niece.

"How did we pick Anya?" Loki inquired thoughtfully. He imagined it must have been her choice since she had told him that he was not very excited about the pregnancy until after she was born.

Natasha held her hand up proudly, "I picked it. I don't know where I heard it before, but it's a name on Midgard." She paused for a moment and thought, "Doesn't the name Aaron have Nordic origins?"

"Well, shall we listen to my brother and see?" Loki smiled as he held out his hand and conjured a book of Norse names. He opened it as he flipped through the pages. "Aaron meaning 'exalted'… that's seems fitting for a prince but what if our little one is a princess?"

"What about Ada? Or Adelaide?" questioned Frigga. Natasha nodded a little and looked to Loki, "I like those. What about you?"

"Adelaide is very pretty," Loki contemplated as he gazed back down at the list of names on the page in front of him.

"Is there a reason that none of you can seem to pass the first letter of the alphabet?" Thor chuckled.

"I like names that start with the letter A. I like the idea of Anya and her sibling having that in common" she said with a smile in Thor's direction. Natasha held her hands out to Loki, "help me up, my love."

Loki quickly stood as he waved the book away and helped her to stand. "Are you alright, my darling?" he probed.

Natasha nodded as he helps her stand, "Getting up from this position when I'm this large is quite a task, so I need the help of my strong husband to get up."

She smiled and kissed him lovingly as she stood.

"Are you just in the mood to stretch or would you like to go for a walk or something, pet?" Loki smiled as he ran his fingers along the soft red curls cascading down her back.

"I love these family brunches," Frigga beamed as she stood up and moved toward her. "But, dear, if you're feeling tired please don't hesitate to tell us so. We will not be offended. Perhaps, you should take her to your chambers, my son."

Natasha nodded and smiled politely, "Yes…maybe I should lay down. This little one is particularly active at night which leaves very little time for sleep. Frigga, is it alright if Anya stays with you for a couple of hours?"

"Of course, my dear. You need never ask."

As they walked back to their chambers, Natasha yawned softly and rubbed a hand down her stomach, "I've been experiencing a lot of those practice contractions…"

"Practice contractions… I don't like the sound of that, my darling," Loki mused as he opened the door to their rooms. "Are you sure that is normal… how are you supposed to know the difference between a real one and one of these practice things?"

"Real ones hurt like hell", she said with a soft chuckle. "Trust me. We would all know if I was having a real contraction."

"Was I very nervous during Anya's birth?" Loki inquired as he closed the door behind them. "I have to admit I'm feeling a little…" The young god stopped in mid-sentence as his gaze fell upon the Enchantress standing at the other end of the room. "What do you think you're doing in our chambers?"

"I was just collecting something." Amora replied smugly as she flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "I thought you were going to be gone longer."

With a flick of his wrist the Enchantress was suddenly lifted up from the floor and wrapped in a binding of air.

"I could take you to the dungeons for trespassing but I think I'd prefer to give you a flogging myself," Loki snapped as he moved toward her. Just as a bright light exploded around her as she broke his spell and dropped back to the floor.

"I'm not your pupil like Lorelei, I'm your equal or have you forgotten," Amora baited. "The way you've forgotten everything else."

Natasha glared, "You aren't welcome here. Leave now."

"Your mortal is very mouthy, Loki. You would do well to remind her of her place" hissed the enchantress.

Natasha would have advanced on her, but she was pregnant. She couldn't risk the life of her child because of her quick temper. "There's no reason for you to be in our room. You need to leave. Now."

"Such arrogance for one whose life is so frail," Amora grinned evilly. "How many years do you have left,dear, they are but minutes to us."

"Do you have a death wish, Amora," Loki seethed as he conjured a dagger into his hand. "This is your last chance to leave."

"Calm yourself, Loki, I'm going," The Enchantress smirked. "I already got what I came for." With a wave of her hand she disappeared from the room. Loki started to search through the room as he tried to figure out what it was she took and why.

Natasha stared at him, "What is it? What do you think she took?"

She tried not to show it, but she was actually very nervous about Amora and Lorelei. She hated both of them, but she was right. She was a mere mortal, and here, she was vulnerable. Her and her unborn child.

"I don't know," Loki advised as he started to open their dresser drawers and searched through the contents. "I don't see anything missing. I can't even imagine what she would want." The young god opened the sliding doors to the nursery as he scrutinized every inch of their chambers.

"Can you cast a spell that would help track her magic? Maybe if you could sense her enchantment?" she asked.

Natasha bit her lip, "Maybe Frigga could help…or even your father? I have…I just have a bad feeling about this, Loki…"

"I need to know what she took," Loki murmured as he began looking through the dresser in the nursery. "If I knew what she was after I could figure out what it was for. Do you see anything out of place?" The young god sighed as he rested his hands against the crib. He wasn't going to let that witch hurt his family. His gaze fell to the green teddy bear resting in the corner of her crib. He picked it up as he ran his fingers along the soft fur. "There is a tiny strand missing. Here in the arm. I don't remember it being like that before."

"This is the teddy bear I won for you during one of our dates…why would she take this?" she asked as she stared down at the bear. "It's one of the dates you don't remember…Loki…what is she up to?"

"A memory spell? What could she possibly care what I remember?" Loki contemplated as he set the bear back in the crib. "Well, that bitch isn't going to be alive long to cast anything." He moved swiftly out of the nursery and towards the door to their chambers. "I want you to stay here. I'll have a guard stay with you."

Natasha watched as Loki walked out of the room. She started to pace, but a slight twinge in her abdomen forced her to sit down. She breathed out and placed her hand on her belly, "Whoa…did I upset you, little one?"

A few minutes later Loki came storming back into the room followed by Thor who held Anya in his arms.

"Calm yourself, brother," Thor ordered in his deep baritone voice. "I'm glad I ran into you. You have no business going anywhere in the state your in."

"She came into my daughter's room, she threatened my wife," Loki fumed. "What do you expect me to do?"

"The guards will inform our father and they will bring her in," the thunder god insisted. "The All-Father will take care of Amora, brother."

"She could be trying to cast something right now," Loki snipped before he noticed the pained expression on his wife's face. "Natalia, are you alright?"

Natasha panted softly and pressed a hand to her stomach, "I don't know…it hurts…I think…I think I might be in labor." She cringed slightly and cried out as the pain gripped her anew, doubling over as she sat on the bed.

"Loki…something's wrong…I can feel it…something's wrong…"

"We need to get you to the healer," Loki replied as he grabbed her by the hand and began to cast his spell. "Thor, take Anya to Mother." The next minute they were in the infirmary. He watched in distress as the doctor laid his hands along her abdomen. A yellow light fanning out from his fingertips as he worked a healing spell along her stomach. He could see the color begin to return to her cheeks as she lied there along the bed, panting heavily.

"Here," the doctor ordered as he moved toward the counter and prepared an herbal tonic. "Drink this. Your body is under a great deal of stress. The threat has passed for the moment but it is imperative that you remain calm. I think you should remain here in the infirmary for the next few days so that I can monitor you closely."

"I'm sorry I left you alone, darling," Loki entreated as he took a seat at her side. "That was foolish of me. Thor is right, my father will take care of it. You needn't worry." A moment later Frigga entered the room.

"Thor was supposed to bring Anya to you." Loki puzzled as she moved towards them slowly.

"She is with the Nanny. I wanted to be here for you both, my son." Frigga replied as she rested a hand on his shoulder. The moment that she touched him he felt a pulse of magic shoot through his body.

Natasha furrowed her eyebrows and panted as she watched Loki's expression glaze over. She reached for his hand, "Loki? Loki…are you alright? Frigga, what's wrong with him?"

Loki felt the tremor of magic flood rapidly through his veins until it slammed into his brain like a pummel from mjolnir. He placed his hands on either side of his head as his vision blurred. "What did you do?" he groaned as the pain rocketed through his skull, a flood of images running across his mind as he stumbled from his seat to the floor. "What did you do to me? By the nines, it hurts." The royal healer rushed forward and leaned down to help him up.

As Frigga smiled wickedly. "The pain will only be a minute." Her image fading to reveal Amora in her place. She gazed at Natasha with an evil smirk before she disappeared completely.

Natasha panicked and reached for him, but the sudden return of the pan in her belly forced her to pause, "Loki! Loki…oh god…Loki…are you alright?!"

She felt a wetness on her thighs and snatched back the covers, looking down, "Oh god….oh no…."

Natasha looked up at the assistant and whispered, "Fetch the midwife…quickly!"

Loki stood up slowly as he shoved the healer away from him. "See to my wife, you idiot," he practically growled as he moved to her side. The pain was gone but his mind felt jumbled. Like a million people talking at once. "I'm alright… I'm okay, little spider, everything's fine and you and our baby are going to be fine."

Natasha was in so much pain, she felt as though she was having an out of body experience. The healers fretted over her as they checked her, and found her to be in an advanced stage of labor. The baby was in distress and was coming soon. Natasha could hardly hear what was being said to her. She just heard someone yell at her to push, so she did. Pain ripped through her body as she bore down with all her might. She couldn't help but scream out in desperation as she pushed again, causing the baby to crown. Natasha couldn't help but think something was very wrong. It didn't hurt like this with Anya's birth…

Loki couldn't bear to see his wife in such agony as he held her hand tightly. This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. This was wrong. It was all wrong. The noise in his head was deafening as he struggled to maintain his focus. "Natalia… It's going to be okay, darling. You both are going to be fine," he soothed as he brushed his lips against her temple. He wasn't even sure if she could hear him. She was in so much pain. "My little spider, I love you so much… you are so brave, so strong."

Natasha whimpered as the healers worked vigorously to help free the baby. The cord was around its neck and as the baby's head emerged, they could tell that it wasn't breathing. Natasha screamed out one final time before the baby was freed from her body. She collapsed back on the bed.

Oddly enough, she didn't even feel any more pain. She didn't feel anything but tired. Too tired to lift her hand…too tired to breathe…

She somehow found the strength to turn her head to the side to see her sons limp body whisked to a table so that the healers could attempt to revive him. Natasha took a deep, labored breath. Why was it so hard to breathe all of the sudden.

"I like Aaron…I want to name him Aaron…Anya is going…she is going to be…such an amazing big sister…I love you so much…" Natasha whispered between gulps of air. She weakly reached up to cup his face before her eyes closed and her hand fell limp at her side.


	26. Chapter 26

Loki was in a state of shock as he realized that his wife was gone. His first instinct was to find Amora and to kill her in the most torturous and agonizing way possible but the All-Father beat him to it. Odin had her arrested for manslaughter for her part in the death of the Lady Natasha and sentenced her to a life in the dungeons of no escape. Lorelei protested vehemently but her words fell on deaf ears as Odin advised her that Amora should thank him for his ruling because if she were free for Loki to have access to than she would be dead.

The young god was inconsolable and his only source of comfort was his children who he spent every minute with. His daughter had always looked like her mother except for her eyes. Her eyes were his but Aaron was the spitting image of his mother complete with bright blue eyes and red curls. They were all of her that he had left. He rarely left their sides.

Months passed but the grief never faded. Loki sat in the corner of the nursery as he watched his children sleep when Lorelei appeared in the doorway.

"Growing brave are you?" Loki remarked coldly as he turned his eerie gaze toward her.

"I did nothing to your wife or to you," Lorelei protested.

"What was the point? What did you get out of it? What did you think I was going to remember?" the young god probed.

"Our friendship," the sorceress revealed quietly. "Even when you married in Midgard you didn't cut me off the way you did here. I could handle anything but that. Your refusal to even speak to me after all our years in each other's company."

"Get out," He whispered evilly as he turned his gaze back towards his children.

"Amora has a proposal for you," Lorelei divulged as she moved cautiously into the room. "She knows a way into Niffleheim with your combined powers, she can take you there."

"And what use would that be for me?" Loki laughed mirthlessly. "You know as well as I that mortals do not go there or Valhalla. My wife is no more."

"Hela rules over the dead who knows what power she has," the sorceress insisted. "Would you not welcome even the smallest chance no matter how futile it is?"

Loki agreed though he doubted anything could bring her back. Lorelei was right even the tiniest chance was not something that he could pass by. He secured her freedom and the two journeyed to the realm of Hel. The goddess was not at all happy for the intrusion and scoffed at his request at first.

"Her spirit is in the ether where all mortals linger. I could pull it back and give her a new life on Midgard but she would not know you," Hela stated with a devious smile. "Is it that you want her to live or do you just want her for you?"

"I want her to live." Mortals had short lives less than 100 years but she deserved to have a full one, she was robbed of years of happiness after all the suffering that she went through. It wasn't fair. He wanted her to live even if it was without him.

"I will do it on one condition," Hela insisted as she leaned forward along her dark throne. "I want your vow that you will never go to Midgard."

"I swear by the All-Father that I will never go to Midgard again," Loki vowed.

Natalie Rushman was a 32 year old Kindergarten teacher. Her parents died years ago, and she had no family to speak of outside of her Golden Retriever Ivan. She'd just moved to the area from Toronto…

…or so she'd been led to believe.

When Natalie woke up from the dead, she had been led to make it feel like another normal day in her normal life…but she couldn't help but feel how "off" everything felt. She felt like a piece of herself was missing.

She went throughout her days like a regular teacher, extremely devoted to her students. Natalie loved children…she always had. She didn't quite know why she was so good with them, but dealing with them was easy for her. Natalie quickly became known as the "Toddler Whisperer" at her job.

One afternoon, she was walking down the street and suddenly heard someone call her name. "Natasha?! Tasha!?"

That wasn't her name, so she kept walking, thinking that the strange man wasn't calling for her. She rounded a corner and was suddenly grabbed by the arm. Instincts immediately took over and before she knew it, she grabbed the man's arm, spun him around and slammed him up against the building.

Natalie gasped and let go of him, apologizing profusely. She didn't know she knew how to do that.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! You really shouldn't just grab people like that, sir. You scared the wits out of me", she exclaimed, taking a step back.

Clint stared at her in shock. Natasha never said "wits"…nor had she ever bothered to apologize for defending herself. He straightened slightly, "Natasha? What happened to you?"

Natalia laughed nervously and shook her head, "I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone. My name is Natalie…"

"No…your name is Natasha. Natasha Romanoff."

Again, she laughed, but her laughter grew more nervous and fearful as she took a step back away from the man in front of her, "Sir. My name is Natalie Rushman. Please leave me alone."

Natalie started to walk away, but he called after her, "You have a C-shaped scar on the left part of of your lower back. You got it from a knife fight in Barcelona. There's a dime-sized scar on your right shoulder where you were shot in Budapest…."

She stopped in her tracks and turned around, staring at him incredulously, "How do you know that?! What are you? Some kind of stalker?!"

Clint stepped forward, "Do you feel like something is missing from your life right now? Do you feel like you're in a fog? I can prove to you that you are who I say you are."

An hour later, she was inside of SHIELD, staring at video footage of "herself" fighting as Clint and Nick Fury looked on from the corner of a room. Clint leaned in, "She doesn't know about Loki…she doesn't remember her life with him…"

"We could keep it from her. Regain one of our most valuable assets."

Clint stared at her as she leaned forward, staring at her image on the screen. It was a tempting offer. He'd have his Tasha back…but Clint knew how important her marriage was to her…and there was a little girl somewhere without a mother. A little girl who had been Natasha's whole life. He had to tell her. He wouldn't live with himself if he didn't.

It took Clint hours to explain her life. Some of the things he said sounded familiar, others were unbelievable…namely the fact that she was married to a demigod. She could hardly believe it…but looking around the high-tech SHIELD headquarters and seeing herself on video and in pictures made this slightly believable.

She was in tears by the end of it, "I have a family?" I have a daughter and a husband?"

Clint nodded, "I don't know if you've had more children…I hadn't seen you in over a year…"

"Why isn't he here? Where is he?"

Clint didn't have the answer to that, so he took her out to she and Loki's old house in the Hamptons. She began to feel some familiarity about the surroundings, as she stood in the middle of the nursery on the second floor, clutching a blanket to her chest.

She leaned over and picked up a picture off of the nightstand. It was her holding a newborn baby, smiling at the camera. Natasha shook her head and blinked, "Why don't I remember? What happened to me?"

Meanwhile, Clint stood outside of her house with his head tilted upwards, calling toward the sky, "THOR! THOR! WE NEED YOUR HELP DOWN HERE!"

Loki sat along the grass in the palace gardens as he rolled a small rainbow colored ball towards his son who was sitting along the ground. He grabbed at it happily, holding it in his tiny hands as he squealed in glee. Aaron was six months old. It was hard to believe that much time had past since he had lost his wife.

"Me Ayin, me me," Anya pleaded as she clapped her hands expectantly waiting for him to toss the ball her way but the little baby decided to try and eat the ball instead as he attempted unsuccessfully to get his mouth around it. "Dada mine." the little toddler pouted.

"No, Aaron. You roll it… You roll it like Daddy," Loki explained as he took the ball gently and helped him roll it toward his daughter.

"I need to speak with you, brother," Thor commanded as he walked up to the trio.

"What am I being accused of now?" Loki smirked as he stood from the ground, picking up Aaron. He smiled as he watched his daughter toddle towards the god of thunder.

"Unk Or up up," she grinned as she held out her arms. Thor immediately complied as he picked up his niece tenderly.

"I have had news from Hiemdall," Thor advised as they walked back towards the palace. "My assistance is being requested by SHIELD."

"What does that have to do with me?" Loki inquired.

"Hiemdall sees a woman there… a woman that looks like Lady Natasha." The thunder god divulged as Loki froze in mid-step. "I don't know how but I think you should come with me. If by some chance."

"No… I can't go to Midgard," Loki snapped. "Tell Shield to leave the woman alone."

Natasha sat on the steps in the house, then shot to her feet when the large blonde man with a cape walked in. He was otherworldly, but this was not her husband. She felt nothing toward him but brotherly friendship.

Clint walked in behind Thor, "Natasha, this is Thor. Your brother in law. He is the god of thunder…"

"Where's my husband? Is he alright? Why can't I remember anything?"

Thor took her hands to try to help calm her as he relayed the story of her death and her relationship with Loki. The blonde god was able to get into even more detail than Clint was, thanks to Loki's close relationship with him and his own personal witnessing of her life in Asgard.

"You have to take me to my husband and children. I've been walking this earth for months, feeling I was living someone else's life. I felt like a part of me was missing…and it turns out I have children and a husband who, by both of your admissions, I loved desperately. Take me to him!"

An hour later, Natasha was being led into the grand hall of the Asgardian palace. She moved forward slowly, staring at the back of the man who sat on the floor with two young, red headed children.

"Loki?" she said softly, her voice uncertain.

Loki heard the sound of her voice behind him but he couldn't bring himself to move. He had told Thor to tell them to leave her be. She was supposed to have a new life. What if Hela thought he sent his brother to retrieve her in an attempt to find a loophole in their bargain?

"Mama?" Anya inquired curiously as she peeked timidly over her father's shoulder.

The young god slowly moved to stand as he turned his emerald gaze toward her. His heartbeat quickening at the sight of her standing only a few feet away from him. He wanted to pull her into his arms but he was afraid of the consequences. "Do you remember me?"

Natasha gasped and covered her mouth once the little girl's wide green eyes connected with hers. She looked up at Loki as she knelt down to move to the little girl's eye level, "Hi there, beautiful…hi. You…are gorgeous."

She didn't know if she should reach for the girl, so she just knelt there, gazing at her before turning her eyes to Loki, who held their son in his arms. A tear streamed down her face as she stared up at Loki, "I see glimpses…I feel…when I look at you, I feel…I feel so much…"

Natasha looked at the red headed children and wiped at her tears before Anya slowly ventured over to her, "Mama cwy?"

Anya put her hand on her mother's cheek to capture one of her tears, prompting more tears to flow as Natasha gingerly placed her hand over her daughter's as she cupped her face. She closed her eyes and leaned into the toddler's touch. This felt right…this was her baby girl…this was the filling to the emptiness she had felt for so long.

Natasha looked up at him, "This is my family…this is where I belong…why didn't you come for me? I felt such an emptiness in my heart and now I know why…I was missing you and my….my children…"

She pursed her lips as she rubbed her hands together. They itched to touch him and the baby boy he held, "I never got a chance to hold him, did I?"

Loki was unsure what to do as he held his son tightly in his arms. Aaron tugged insistently on the necklace that hung against his chest. He had taken to wearing her wedding rings as she had once done with his. "No… you didn't… you died before you had the chance. I couldn't come for you. You were given life again on the condition that I never go there. I swore I would never return to Midgard. That's why you don't remember. You're not supposed to. She said you wouldn't know me. I wanted to bring you back to us but all she offered me was to give you a new life. I wanted you to live… to have a chance at happiness even if it was without me."

Natasha stood and took a limit step forward, "That's the problem…for six months, I've been living a perfectly normal life…I'm a teacher. It's a great job. I have friends and a really nice apartment…but I'm not happy. There is no happiness without you. Without my children. It's impossible."

"I made a bargain with Hela. I'm not sure what she will do if she finds out you're here," Loki admitted. She gave her life. She could easily take it away. He couldn't bear that. He couldn't go through it again.

"Your bargain included you never returning to Midgard again, right? Thor told me…she didn't mention Thor. She also never mentioned me coming here or you seeing me if I happened to make my way here. I doubt a goddess ever wants to be known for going back on her word, am I right?"

"No, she never mentioned those things. I only swore that I would never step foot in Midgard again. That was our bargain," Loki agreed. Still he felt uneasy. She could still take offense and angering the goddess of the netherworld was not exactly a smart thing to do. "Would you like to hold him?"

Natasha nodded slowly and took a slow step forward, "Yes please…"

She gingerly took the baby out of his arms and cradled him, "Hello…my goodness…you are handsome." Natasha looked up at Loki with tears in her eyes, "He's so beautiful and I missed so much…he doesn't know me…"

"He will learn and Anya remembers," Loki replied soothingly. He lifted his daughter up into his arms. "Don't you, shorty?"

"Mama… Mama home." the little girl smiled.

Natasha turned her wet eyes up to her daughter and nodded as she looked at Loki, "Mommy is home…I didn't even realize how much I missed all of you…my family…"

Hours later, Natasha lay in bed with both of her children in her arms. They fell asleep against her, and she refused to be parted from them. She just kept staring at them. Natasha smiled warmly at Loki as he approached the bed, "I can't imagine the pain you went through…Thor was fairly vague on my death. I don't understand why I died…"

"You died giving birth to Aaron.. there were complications," Loki advised as he leaned against the post of the canopy bed. He wasn't sure if he should give her any details of what surrounded her death. "You see this picture." He took a few steps toward the nightstand as he pointed to the two frames that rested there. One of their wedding and one of Anya on the day she was born. "You gave these to me the night that we conceived our son. I had suffered an accident months before and I lost some of my memory. Years of our life together so you gave me these."

Natasha stared at the pictures as a small smile spread across her face, "We were so happy…I don't understand how the fates could be so cruel to take me away from you all…"

Moments later, Loki helped her lay the children in the nursery. She could barely tear her eyes away from the sleeping forms of her children as she moved back toward the bedroom with Loki.

They sat beside each other in silence until she reached over and took his hand, giving it a firm squeeze, "I'm here now…and I want to be a family again. I want to be your wife again…"

Loki gazed down at her hand as a tear escaped the corner of his eye. "It's ironic. Now that I remember everything, you are without your memory." He let go of her hand as he stood up and moved across the room to the top of the dresser. He opened a jewelry box that rested on the top before pulling out the pearl bracelet that he had given her during the Winter Solstice. "I gave this to you. You wore it all the time. It's a mother's bracelet. I couldn't get rid of any of your things. I wanted to keep these chambers just as they were. I even had our son's name added to it even though I knew that you would never get to see it or at least I thought you wouldn't." He moved back toward the bed as he held it out for her to take.

Natasha slowly took the bracelet from him, staring down at it as she moved back to the bed and slowly lowered herself down onto the mattress. She looked back up at him, "This…you gave this to me…when you told me you wanted to have another baby…right? I feel like I can remember you saying 'more children'…"

"Yes.. I didn't always want them… to have children," Loki revealed as a soft smile began to form along his lips. She remembered something. All on her own. "I gave you that to tell you that I wanted to have more children with you. As many as you wanted. And that night we made Aaron."

Natasha smiled and quickly handed him the bracelet, "Would you please put it on me?"

"I would love to, pet," Loki grinned widely as he took the bracelet and began placing it around her wrist. His dark green eyes gazing into her sweet blue as he closed the clasp securely. "These are yours, too," he smiled softly as he touched his fingers to the rings that he wore around his neck. He twisted his fingers around a strawberry curl as he began to twirl it languidly. It was almost like a dream, having her so close. "I have missed you so much, my little spider."

"Little spider…." she smiled slightly. "That sounds familiar…"

Natasha stared at the jewelry, desperately grasping for the memories attached to the pieces. She watched Loki's expressions carefully and couldn't help but lean in to press a chaste, but lingering kiss to his lips.

"I'm back where I belong…I can feel it…"

"I remember what that's like, pet, to have all the feelings but not the memories," Loki mused as he caressed her cheek tenderly, letting his thumb trace the edge of her bottom lip. "I love you, Natalia." he whispered as he leaned in and moved his lips gently over hers.

Natasha's lips began responding to his. Before she knew it, desire, pure love and instinct took over. She wrapped her arms around his neck and moaned, deepening the kiss as she pressed her body against his, "Loki?"


	27. Chapter 27

She pulled back and looked into his eyes, staring at him in awe. Natasha had suddenly woken up…just like in the fairy tales, it was his kiss that fully brought her back. She gasped, "I love you…my Loki…my husband. My love…I remember…everything." Natasha started to kiss him again, but the memory of Amora suddenly entered her mind. She quickly stood up, snatched Loki's daggers from the wall, "Where. Is. Amora."

"You remember? Darling, you can't go after Amora, she is a sorceress," Loki instructed as he gently took the daggers out of her hands. "Besides, she is not in Asgard. She was banished to Nornheim. It was part of a deal that I secured with the All-Father. Although I never told him the real reason behind it. I needed her to find the pathway to Hela. She helped me in exchange for her freedom. She can never step foot in Asgard again." He tilted her chin upward as he gazed down at her lovingly. "Let us not waste another minute on her."

Natasha wasn't so sure she wanted to completely forget about Amora. That woman had stolen her away from her husband and children, depriving her of even getting to see her own son for six long months. She would find a way to make her pay…if it was the last thing she did.

She stared into Loki's eyes and quickly leaned up to crush her lips against his for a greedy kiss. It had been forever since she'd been with him and he was right, they shouldn't waste another minute. If Natasha had learned anything from falling in love with the god of mischief, it was that she never knew what tomorrow would bring.

They made love with wild abandon. He could hardly believe that it was really happening. That she was truly in his arms and not some vivid fantasy that he had conjured up. Loki lied there on his side, his head propped up on his elbow, her rings dangling against his chest as he drew circles languidly along her thigh. His dark green eyes drinking in every inch of her body. "I thought I would never feel you like this again. I spent every night reliving every memory in my mind… every second that I had with you.. your smile… those sweet blue eyes. And now here you are, my beautiful little spider."

"I hate that I ever left…I am so sorry I wasn't here…for you and for our children" she whispered as she pulled him to her for a long, drugging kiss. Natasha was doubtful she would ever be content with keeping her hands off of him now. She stared up into his eyes and smiled, "I don't ever want to be apart from you ever again."

"You didn't leave, pet. You were taken from us because of that damn spell. When you touched me it tainted you, got in your veins somehow. There was nothing the healers could do," Loki sighed. "I blamed myself. If I hadn't let Thor talk me down. If I'd have gone after her like I wanted. If I'd have realized when she first walked in. I knew there was something off about her. But it doesn't matter anymore because you're here, my darling." He sat up, reaching around his neck and unclasping the chain as he let the rings slide onto his palm. "May I put these back on my lovely wife?"

"Yes. Please" she said smiling as she held her hand out for him. Natasha kissed him after he slipped her rings back ok her finger. "I want you to teach me magic so that our family is well protected from any tricks someone may attempt to conjure."

"It's not quite so simple, darling, you need to have the spark in you to conjure mystical forces on your own. I mean… I might be able to show you how to draw from a conduit like a Norn stone. We could try and see if you have a talent for it, my little spider." Loki contemplated as he moved his thumb gently back and forth against the rings on her finger. "See if my father is willing to part with one from his precious vaults but that depends on why, my pet. Is it really for protection or do you intend to make a strike at someone?"

"The less you honestly know, the better, my love. I'm not one to sit back passively and allow someone to inflict as damage as that witch and her sister did without offering some kind of payback…but under the circumstances, I believe we do need protection of a magical sort. I won't be able to rest knowing I live in a realm of beings far stronger and more powerful than I without some sort of defense."

"The less I know the better?" Loki drawled as his brow furrowed. "No, No, darling. You are not going anywhere near Lorelei or Amora and that is final."

Natasha sighed as she stared at her husband. They'd both faced such great loss, she knew it would be a risk, and at this point, she didn't think she should take it. He was right. She needed to concentrate on reconnecting to her family and getting to know little Aaron.

"Loki? Can I ask you a slightly morbid question?….what was my funeral like?"

"Awful.. a burial at sea, it is the Asgardian way to watch the funeral pyre from the shore. Even though you are not Aesir my mother wanted you to be treated as such." Loki advised solemnly. "If not for our children I would have climbed up onto the boat with you."

"I haven't even seen Frigga yet…" she said softly. "Thank you for being there for our children. I know that, if I lost you, I don't know how I'd live on. But you kept going for them, and that's exactly what I wanted." Natasha kissed him lovingly, nuzzling into him as she wrapped her arms tight around him.

"At first I could think of nothing but my anger… and all the memories rushing back into me didn't help," Loki divulged as he held onto her tightly. He never wanted to let her go. "I went after them but Odin had already tucked them safely away in his dungeons. For Amora, he had cause, he sentenced her for life but Lorelei, he knew he would have to let go eventually. I broke into the dungeons in a rage… pummeled my way through the guards to get to their cells. I did everything I could to break through that mystical wall that kept them from me. Thor had to subdue me and I was thrown in my own cell. My father came to me. He told me to take a good look at my surroundings and asked if revenge was worth my children having no parents. He left me in there for the night." The young god brushed his lips softly along her temple and breathed her in. "I never went after them again."

Natasha kissed his lips and pressed herself against him, closing her eyes as she imagined the pain and uncertainty he felt after her death. She fell asleep against him, her face buried in the crook of his neck, breathing softly against his skin.

Loki woke to the sound of Aaron crying as he quickly moved from the bed and into the nursery. He picked him up quickly as he noticed Anya turnover in her own bed groggily before falling back to sleep. "What's the matter little man," Loki mused as he kissed him gently. He began swaying back and forth as he hummed softly. "Did you have a bad dream? Daddy's here. No more bad dreams." His gaze falling on Natasha in the doorway.

Natasha glanced over at Anya before moving forward, tentatively holding her hands out. Smiled at the little boy…he had her eyes. And her hair. Come to think of it, Aaron looked more like her than Anya did by a long shot. It seemed fitting, actually. The child she couldn't be there for was the one who was her doppleganger.

"May I hold him?" she whispered as she glanced up at Loki.

"Of course," Loki grinned widely as he settled the baby in her arms. "There you go, Aaron… There's Mommy."

The baby stared at her curiously as she smiled at him. Eventually, he favored her with a wide, toothless grin that melted her heart. She kissed his head and gently nuzzled her face into his hair, "Oh, you are a big boy…so handsome…I bet you're quite the handful, aren't you?"

Aaron took a fistful of her red hair as Natasha looked over at Anya. She'd grown so much…it broke her heart that she'd been unable to see it. She would never get over missing so much.

A couple of hours later, Natasha assisted Loki in dressing the children for the day. She felt a little lost, but her husband had everything down to a science. Get Aaron dressed first while Anya played on the bed with her dolls, then put the infant back in his crib with a bottle while he got Anya dressed. Soon, the entire family was dressed. Loki was telling the truth when he mentioned he never had the heart to throw away any of her belongings. Her dresses and clothes still hung in her wardrobe as if she'd never left.

As soon as they entered the grand hall, Frigga rushed to her and enveloped her in a tight hug, "My dear…my dear daughter-in-law…" The queen leaned back and enclosed Natasha's face in her hands, looking into her eyes, "We were heartbroken at your loss…"

Odin moved forward regally as he nodded in agreement. "Yes, you were greatly missed."

"She is home now," Loki smiled as he held his little boy tightly in his arms.

"Pop pop play?" Anya inquired as she pulled on the All-Father's hand.

"Of course," Odin smiled before turning his attention back to Natasha. "But first I have procured a gift for your mother. All life is fragile but yours even more so." He moved toward the banquet table and lifted up a silver serving dish to reveal a golden apple. "This is an apple of Idunn. Highly prized and rarely offered to one of your kind. If you eat it then you will be like an Aesir, our life span, our healing but once you've eaten it then you will be tied to it. You will not be able to stay long from our realm because you will need to eat of its fruit at least once a year or you will become ill."

Natasha had learned about the golden apples of Idunn. She'd read of them and heard Loki mention them, often comparing the taste of her skin to one…

She covered her mouth and gasped, "Your highness…I…I don't know what to say. Thank you…thank you…"

Natasha slowly released Loki's hand before moving forward to pick up the apple. She slowly brought it to her lips and took a bite, closing her eyes as the mystical power of the fruit surged through her. She opened her eyes to look at Loki, her irises burning gold for a moment before fading to their normal blue.

"Thank you, father," Loki bowed slightly as he spoke. "I don't even know how to begin to thank you."

"Be happy, my son," Odin smiled as Anya tugged at his hand once more.

"Pop pop play now!" the little girl pouted as the All-Father laughed at let her drag him away towards the toys in the corner of the hall.

"Here let Aaron and I join the two of you" Frigga smiled as she reached for her grandson and took him out of Loki's arms before following after her husband.

"How do you feel, little spider?" Loki inquired as he ran his fingers through her lush curls.

Natasha smiled at him and stared into his eyes, "Energized…more alive…"

She laughed softly as she wrapped her arms around him, "You will never be without me now. Tell me, love…what do you plan on doing with me for the next three thousand years?"

"Quite a lot of things that I can think of, my little spider," Loki smiled as he brushed his lips gently against hers. "The first one that comes to mind is working on breaking our record. What was it up to now…. eight, my pet. eh heh heh." He winked playfully.

"That's a good plan," she breathed as she returned his kiss.

"And etch a few more names in this bracelet," Loki grinned as he took her hand in his, running his finger lightly along the jewelry that adorned her wrist. "We have so much to look forward to, my little spider."


End file.
